Kobojunkie:


Why not have relationship where you serve one another, as equals.

In relationship nobody is serving anyone. The man, being the head is expected to love and care for the woman (wife), while the wife is expected to love, support and submit to the man. This is how it supposed to be!

There is nothing like servitude

ednut1:
its similar laws in both. A man will be jailed if he fails to pay child support whether baby mama ish or from former marriage. No court on Nigeria can send a man to jail for child support.

Who told you so?

yea right...

I will never really understand why you will be okay with someone you love acting like a slave and you're pleased with it.

Many marriages are just slave trade really.

TonyeBarcanista:

In relationship nobody is serving anyone. The man, being the head is expected to love and care for the woman (wife), while the wife is expected to love, support and submit to the man. This is how it supposed to be!

There is nothing like servitude

RamessesIV:
What side my brother

uromi

Eniolakiite:
yea right...

I will never really understand why you will be okay with someone you love acting like a slave and you're pleased with it.

Many marriages are just slave trade really.

Men who think like that are their own problem.
Nothing wrong with cooking, cleaning, washing for one's wife and family.
if the wife is a full time housewife. then obviously less so as that is her agreed upon contribution to the family. (personally not my type of woman)

I do feel like a lot of marital issues arise from lack of humanity.
But man, I have encountered and ghosted some women who I feel sorry for whoever marries them.
Utterly irrational.

May the irrational continue to find themselves and marry fellow irrationals.
They need to keep their poison within their community

humilitypays:
Exactly!!


People like him think because they live in the US or UK or wherever they live outside Nigeria, it makes them more civilised, more exposed and more successful and knowledgeable than those in Nigeria which is a stupid thinking of mostly young boys that managed to travel abroad by chance through either visa lottery, sham marriage or by chance process.

Anybody earning NGN400,000 and above in Nigeria is far better than most Nigerians living abroad.

With a monthly income of NGN500,000, you will live a very comfortable life of your dream in Nigeria and even go for vacation abroad, but you will see these guys doing up to 3 jobs and overtime abroad coming online to brag and feel like they are now rich, not knowing that most of us here now do vacation abroad and also have friends and families living abroad that envy us back home.

I live in Nigeria and I am more civilized and more comfortable living my dream life than most people living abroad who work their ass off hourly to earn wages whereas people and money work for me....I treat everybody around me with respect and dignity not because I live abroad but because I know what is right and wrong...so I don't need to live in the US to treat my wife well and make her enjoy her marriage to me.

The op really angered me that I tried to restrain myself from giving him a direct attack that would make him deactivate his account on this forum, what nonsense is that!!


When did living abroad translate to being the best or being wiser and more civilised than those in Nigeria.


I am writing a book on this nonsense practice Oyimbo is doing; their hypocrisy of castigating patriarchy practiced in Africa while promoting matriarch practiced by the west; what is the difference


If they want equality, then don't be bias by giving women upper hand in marital cases......make it equal treatment and equal judgment

Hahahahahaha
My brother no vex, doohh
I was really angry too when i read all he wrote. I had to restrain myself just to comment politely on this thread.
I work 6 months out of a year (6 weeks in,6 weeks out) and that means i have a Whooping 6 months every Blessed year for myself to go on vacation, course, be with family and do anything i like while i still earn more than 500k per month flat whether at work or home and here we are, a nobody thinks he is better off than people at home when he will have to combine 3/4 jobs together and work virtually 11 and half months in a year.
I spit on him.
If he thinks he his better why don't he do just 1 job and 6 months a year in his Eldorado abroad if he is even going to be able to pay his house rent not to talk of having any investment or achievement at all.
Person go just open thread dey yan Opata.
The guys making cool cash in abroad sef, the businessmen, sport men, drug dealers are not talking but this Ekuke dey yan dust.
It's well.

LOL

2buffagain:


Men who think like that are their own problem.

I do feel like a lot of marital issues arise from lack of humanity.
But man, I have encountered and ghosted some women who I feel sorry for whoever marries them.
Utterly irrational.

May the irrational continue to find themselves and marry fellow irrationals.
They need to keep their poison within their community

Ahh am ohordua,presently locked up in ekpoma i greet you my brother

lefulefu:
uromi

Eniolakiite:
yea right...

I will never really understand why you will be okay with someone you love acting like a slave and you're pleased with it.

Many marriages are just slave trade really.

Young lady stop believing that crap, it is all lies peddled by ladies who failed in their marriage by choosing the wrong guys out of their selfishness and greed!!!


Lots of ladies I know married to Nigerian guys living in Nigeria and abroad are all enjoying their marriages to the fullest....stop believing nonsense stories told online.......go into your own marriage with joy and expect the best and forget people talking nonsense and the process of having a wonderful marriage start with who you chose to marry......don't marry out of selfish reasons and greed....marry for genuine reasons....marry who you believe in and strong believe in his vision and goals....work with him to build that goal....stop marrying out of greed and you won't be crying that your husband is treating you like a slave, where does this even happen today How many married ladies in Nigeria of today are being treated like slaves like you guys are forcing us to believe

humilitypays:
Young lady stop believing that crap, it is all lies peddled by ladies who failed in their marriage by choosing the wrong guys out of their selfishness and greed!!!


Lots of ladies I know married to Nigerian guys living in Nigeria and abroad are all enjoying their marriages to the fullest....stop believing nonsense stories told online.......go into your own marriage with joy and expect the best and forget people talking nonsense and the process of having a wonderful marriage start with who you chose to marry......don't marry out of selfish reasons and greed....marry for genuine reasons....marry who you believe in and strong believe in his vision and goals....work with him to build that goal....stop marrying out of greed and you won't be crying that your husband is treating you like a slave, where does this even happen today How many married ladies in Nigeria of today are being treated like slaves like you guys are forcing us to believe

When even nigerian house wives have house maid, cook, etc.

RamessesIV:
Ahh am ohordua,presently locked up in ekpoma i greet you my brother

i greet u too oo

emmaodet:


Hahahahahaha
My brother no vex, doohh
I was really angry too when i read all he wrote. I had to restrain myself just to comment politely on this thread.
I work 6 months out of a year (6 weeks in,6 weeks out) and that means i have a Whooping 6 months every Blessed year for myself to go on vacation, course, be with family and do anything i like while i still earn more than 500k per month flat whether at work or home and here we are, a nobody thinks he is better off than people at home when he will have to combine 3/4 jobs together and work virtually 11 and half months in a year.
I spit on him.
If he thinks he his better why don't he do just 1 job and 6 months a year in his Eldorado abroad if he is even going to be able to pay his house rent not to talk of having any investment or achievement at all.
Person go just open thread dey yan Opata.
The guys making cool cash in abroad sef, the businessmen, sport men, drug dealers are not talking but this Ekuke dey yan dust.
It's well.

I tell you....my mates and cousins who live abroad and make good cash as doctors and nurses still respect we in Nigeria....reason they roll with me cos they know I am living a great life in Nigeria despite working less hours......na all these wakapass abroad boys no go gree us hear word just because they want to impress some girls online to razzle them cheaply when they return back to Naija, it is well like u said

That you don't know of it doesn't mean it's not happening.

Anyway, as said, marry for the right reasons and hope for the best.

humilitypays:
Young lady stop believing that crap, it is all lies peddled by ladies who failed in their marriage by choosing the wrong guys out of their selfishness and greed!!!


Lots of ladies I know married to Nigerian guys living in Nigeria and abroad are all enjoying their marriages to the fullest....stop believing nonsense stories told online.......go into your own marriage with joy and expect the best and forget people talking nonsense and the process of having a wonderful marriage start with who you chose to marry......don't marry out of selfish reasons and greed....marry for genuine reasons....marry who you believe in and strong believe in his vision and goals....work with him to build that goal....stop marrying out of greed and you won't be crying that your husband is treating you like a slave, where does this even happen today How many married ladies in Nigeria of today are being treated like slaves like you guys are forcing us to believe

2buffagain:


When even nigerian house wives have house maid, cook, etc.

the ones married to very comfortable men ..their own na to chop then watch telemondo and african magic and after tht them chop again and maybe sleep then wake up chop again then watch telemondo.same routine everyday .some housewives dey live like dat in naija

Eniolakiite:
That you don't know of it doesn't mean it's not happening.

Anyway, as said, marry for the right reasons and hope for the best.

I am not saying it doesn't happen...I know some ladies are facing marital crises....but they are very few and insignificant number but people will like to blow it out of proportion like it is the norm.....and most of the ladies who have marital issues and being treated like the slaves u all are talking about are the ladies who married out of selfish reasons and greed. They threw caution of the window and chose the wrong partners thinking they would cope.....and in the process they discover they can't cope and they start to scream FOWL and start to tell nonsense stories of how Nigerian men are beasts and this and that just to discourage other ladies from getting married....if you believe them, that is your own wahala......



Most ladies married to Nigerian men based in Nigeria are enjoying their marriages.....marry the right person and you won't have any marital issue whether in Nigeria or abroad, simple!!!

Well, They are not few and not insignificant.

humilitypays:
I am not saying it doesn't happen...I know some ladies are facing marital crises....but they are very few and insignificant number but people will like to blow it out of proportion like it is the norm.....and most of the ladies who have marital issues and being treated like the slaves u all are talking about are the ladies who married out of selfish reasons and greed. They threw caution of the window and chose the wrong partners thinking they would cope.....and in the process they discover they can't cope and they start to scream FOWL and start to tell nonsense stories of how Nigerian men are beasts and this and that just to discourage other ladies from getting married....if you believe them, that is your own wahala......



Most ladies married to Nigerian men based in Nigeria are enjoying their marriages.....marry the right person and you won't have any marital issue whether in Nigeria or abroad, simple!!!

Eniolakiite:
yea right...

I will never really understand why you will be okay with someone you love acting like a slave and you're pleased with it.

Many marriages are just slave trade really.

Is Christ a slave to God? Are Christians slaves to Christ? I'm sure you will say No! Likewise the relationship between a man and his wife.

Submissiveness is not slavery. In every human relationship there is always hierarchy with one person sitting at the top in authority. All are equal humans but there is first among equals.

Your Line manager is an employee like you but he is your boss by his office and you must submit to his authority in official matters.

Your class captain in school was your classmate but his position as class captain placed him at higher authority over you and you must submit to him on class related matters.

The husband is of higher authority to the wife and she must submit to him in family matters.

It is called first among equals!

Some of you don't even understand slavery! Slavery is what is obtained in the West whose laws are skewed to takeaway the right of men and place them at disadvantage position to women. The laws that oppressed men and place them at the mercies of women in their homes.

And we have men that abuse that submission and turn the wives to slaves. Those are the ones I'm referring to and it is because of those kind of abusive men that there are laws being made to put women at a better position and some women abuse that too. So, it is just life. There will be people who abuse things irrespective of the gender. It's sad but it's life.

TonyeBarcanista:

Is Christ a slave to God? Are Christians slaves to Christ? I'm sure you will say No! Likewise the relationship between a man and his wife.

Submissiveness is not slavery. In every human relationship there is always hierarchy with one person sitting at the top in authority. All are equal humans but there is first among equals.

Your Line manager is an employee like you but he is your boss by his office and you must submit to his authority in official matters.

Your class captain in school was your classmate but his position as class captain placed him at higher authority over you and you must submit to him on class related matters.

The husband is of higher authority to the wife and she must submit to him in family matters.

It is called first among equals!

Some of you don't even understand slavery! Slavery is what is obtained in the West whose laws are skewed to takeaway the right of men and place them at disadvantage position to women. The laws that oppressed men and place them at the mercies of women in their homes.

ekuke

emmaodet:


Hahahahahaha
My brother no vex, doohh
I was really angry too when i read all he wrote. I had to restrain myself just to comment politely on this thread.
I work 6 months out of a year (6 weeks in,6 weeks out) and that means i have a Whooping 6 months every Blessed year for myself to go on vacation, course, be with family and do anything i like while i still earn more than 500k per month flat whether at work or home and here we are, a nobody thinks he is better off than people at home when he will have to combine 3/4 jobs together and work virtually 11 and half months in a year.
I spit on him.
If he thinks he his better why don't he do just 1 job and 6 months a year in his Eldorado abroad if he is even going to be able to pay his house rent not to talk of having any investment or achievement at all.
Person go just open thread dey yan Opata.
The guys making cool cash in abroad sef, the businessmen, sport men, drug dealers are not talking but this Ekuke dey yan dust.
It's well.

Eniolakiite:
ekuke

Eniolakiite:
Well, They are not few and not insignificant.

I just looked at your profile, you live in US, what do you know about marriages in Nigeria except what you are told and what you read online or watch on TV

All my sister-in-laws are enjoying their marriages, if u see some, they look hotter than most single ladies all thanks to their beautiful marriages to my brothers....my own wife will enjoy heaven on earth, all I ask for is good health and long life to shower her with love and care.


You single ladies are you problem, you make long list of qualities your man must possess or nothing, and when you attract and accept the foolish boys into your life as a result of your wrong list and personality, you start to cry fowl.


Marriage is sweet to those that chose the right partners, it doesn't matter where they live, what matters is who they are; their personalities

humilitypays:
Young lady stop believing that crap, it is all lies peddled by ladies who failed in their marriage by choosing the wrong guys out of their selfishness and greed!!!


Lots of ladies I know married to Nigerian guys living in Nigeria and abroad are all enjoying their marriages to the fullest....stop believing nonsense stories told online.......go into your own marriage with joy and expect the best and forget people talking nonsense and the process of having a wonderful marriage start with who you chose to marry......don't marry out of selfish reasons and greed....marry for genuine reasons....marry who you believe in and strong believe in his vision and goals....work with him to build that goal....stop marrying out of greed and you won't be crying that your husband is treating you like a slave, where does this even happen today How many married ladies in Nigeria of today are being treated like slaves like you guys are forcing us to believe

I was having this conversation with a friend yesterday. I keep telling her that all this fears you have about marriage will be allayed if you can train your perceptive powers in order to vet and choose the right person. When a man loves you, all this insipid fears created by feminists to make it seem like all women are suffering in marriage suddenly becomes a joke to you.

I really don't know any Nigerian man that wants to treat his wife like a doormat. or control her like a bull. most men just want to lead, albeit with love and then respected and cared for in return.

Eniolakiite:
And we have men that abuse that submission and turn the wives to slaves. Those are the ones I'm referring to and it is because of those kind of abusive men that there are laws being made to put women at a better position and some women abuse that too. So, it is just life. There will be people who abuse things irrespective of the gender. It's sad but it's life.

You are right! And that is why we are advised to be vigilant and watchful when making spousal choice.

From personal observation, most people in abusive relationship saw the signs, neglected good counsels and hopped into the relationship simply because of their selfish interest and obnoxious desires.

NB: Most not all

TonyeBarcanista:

You are right! And that is why we are advised to be vigilant and watchful when making spousal choice.

From personal observation, most people in abusive relationship saw the signs, neglected good counsels and hopped into the relationship simply because of their selfish interest and obnoxious desires.

NB: Most not all

very true.

efosky1246:


I was having this conversation with a friend yesterday. I keep telling her that all this fears you have about marriage will be allayed if you can train your perceptive powers in order to vet and choose the right person. When a man loves you, all this insipid fears created by feminists to make it seem like all women are suffering in marriage suddenly becomes a joke to you.

I really don't know any Nigerian man that wants to treat his wife like a doormat. or control her like a bull. most men just want to lead, albeit with love and then respected and cared for in return.

simple!!


It is an insult to Nigerian based Nigerian guys for one ekuke as Emma put it to come here and yan dust that as a Nigerian guy, that before u come to the US, u must throw away that your nonsense mentality this and that as if American men are more civilised than Nigerian based men or more intelligent or something, what kind of nonsense is that


If not that Donald Trump have put so many visa restrictions on Nigerians visiting US, most of us will be strolling into US every end of the year in style to chill and charge our phones and check out in style.


The op should go and yan this dust he did to his mates and those in his remote village, not on a public forum where there are people and relatives of people living larger than US President Trump in Nigeria, who chose not to live abroad permanently working their ass off hourly and not because they couldn't secure a good job back in Nigeria or couldnt start a profitable business and couldn't survive in Nigeria and managed to escape from Nigeria through one chance visa opportunity and only to come online to brag and act like living in the US or wherever have made him the yardstick of civilisation and good life, I hate nonsense in my life

Yea I know there are some people enjoying their marriages in Nigeria, I have relatives there.
However there are some not enjoying theirs and I’m saying the number is not insignificant and should not be neglected.

In the end, everyone should be watchful and all the best.

Marriage is sweet when with the right person.

humilitypays:
I just looked at your profile, you live in US, what do you know about marriages in Nigeria except what you are told and what you read online or watch on TV

All my sister-in-laws are enjoying their marriages, if u see some, they look hotter than most single ladies all thanks to their beautiful marriages to my brothers....my own wife will enjoy heaven on earth, all I ask for is good health and long life to shower her with love and care.


You single ladies are you problem, you make long list of qualities your man must possess or nothing, and when you attract and accept the foolish boys into your life as a result of your wrong list and personality, you start to cry fowl.


Marriage is sweet to those that chose the right partners, it doesn't matter where they live, what matters is who they are; their personalities

Yes

TonyeBarcanista:

You are right! And that is why we are advised to be vigilant and watchful when making spousal choice.

From personal observation, most people in abusive relationship saw the signs, neglected good counsels and hopped into the relationship simply because of their selfish interest and obnoxious desires.

NB: Most not all

humilitypays:
simple!!


It is an insult to Nigerian based Nigerian guys for one ekuke as Emma put it to come here and yan dust that as a Nigerian guy, that before u come to the US, u must throw away that your nonsense mentality this and that as if American men are more civilised than Nigerian based men or more intelligent or something, what kind of nonsense is that


If not that Donald Trump have put so many visa restrictions on Nigerians visiting US, most of us will be strolling into US every end of the year in style to chill and charge our phones and check out in style.


The op should go and yan this dust he did to his mates and those in his remote village, not on a public forum where there are people and relatives of people living larger than US President Trump in Nigeria, who chose not to live abroad permanently working his ass off hourly and not because he couldn't secure a good job in Nigeria or couldnt start a profitable business and couldn't survive in Nigeria and managed to escape from Nigeria through one chance visa opportunity and only to come online to brag and act like living in the US or wherever have made him the yardstick of civilisation and good life, I hate nonsense in my life

no vex my brother, same thing with the guy that created the third thread about loneliness in diaspora. they make it seem like its so archaic to expect your woman to treat you well. same America where you'll still get conservative women in the south who are just as or even more traditional as our women.

las las, we go dey alright

Eniolakiite:
Yea I know there are some people enjoying their marriages in Nigeria, I have relatives there.
However there are some not enjoying theirs and I’m saying the number is not insignificant and should not be neglected.

In the end, everyone should be watchful and all the best.

Marriage is sweet when with the right person.

why not focus on the positive marriages and learn a thing or two from them. use your learnings to contrast what you see in the negative marriages, then you'll see where the problem is. it's usually very obvious if you look in closely. then arm yourself with that knowledge in choosing the best spouse for yourself.

you seem to be concentrating way too much on the negative ones

Well I’m not concentrating on the negative. Only noted that they exist

I stan positivity anytime anyday!

efosky1246:


why not focus on the positive marriages and learn a thing or two from them. use your learnings to contrast what you see in the negative marriages, then you'll see where the problem is. it's usually very obvious if you look in closely. then arm yourself with that knowledge in choosing the best spouse for yourself.

you seem to be concentrating way too much on the negative ones

Eniolakiite:
Well I’m not concentrating on the negative. Only noted that they exist

I stan positivity anytime anyday!

that's more like it

Prayer helps too (assuming you believe in God)

Eniolakiite:
Yea I know there are some people enjoying their marriages in Nigeria, I have relatives there.
However there are some not enjoying theirs and I’m saying the number is not insignificant and should not be neglected.

In the end, everyone should be watchful and all the best.

Marriage is sweet when with the right person.

Good, so don't make the unfortunate ones who are not enjoying their marriage in Nigeria out of their own making the focus point.....they shouldn't even be a topic of discussion cos I insist they are insignificant number today.


American men treat their women worst than Nigerian men treat their women.

How can a man expect to split every damn bill with his wife, what makes you the man, I will be ashamed to do that even if I live in the US or with Queen Elizabeth.


That is an unfair treatment of a wife to start with.


American men also kill their wives but you guys won't focus on that! Homicide cases are high their, same as domestic violence why are u not focusing on that Why is the divorce rate in the US and most western nation so high if all is well with their marriages


You ladies should stop allowing western media and crazy feminists to deceive you with wrong figures and news of Nigerian married women being treated as slaves when almost all Nigerian wife have a house help, some have drivers, cook, cleaners, etc, so I ask again, who are these suffering Nigerian wives who have been turned to slaves by their Nigerian based husbands


If your husband pays for a house help for you who takes cares of most domestic chores and only require that you prepare his best meals and serve him yourself, is that too much for a man to ask from his wife, does that make his wife a slave

For instance, my house right now is almost automated, everything, automatic wash and dry machine for laundry connected to water supply or u need to do is pour detergent and turn on water and put it on to wash and spin for u, and if u want faster drying u put on the drying bag and it dries it.


Everything in my kitchen is also automated as we speak...even a lazy idiot can cook within few minutes....I have automatic mopper for mopping the floor....tell me what a wife will do that is too tedious to scream slavery in this scenario which has become rampant in modern Nigerian homes all thanks to China affordable technology.

I repeat, don't buy those nonsense stories being peddled online and on TV, they are not many okay