.

hmm!

In every situation in life, someone always have the final say, he is JEHOVAH.

Your mom, like most African mums, enjoy living in denial.

They don't even want to imagine the possibility of such confessions, talk more about believing it.

Their best defense mechanism is to turn the table against you and make you become the guilty party who deserves to shut up and remain silent in shame.

To them, it is an abomination that shouldn't be spoken about.

Didi965:
I need suggestions or advise from the house please. So I’m from a broken home. Both parents are separated cause they ain’t compatible. My mum was forced to marry my dad and she really suffered while with him, she was the one in charge of our education but he used he’s money on women and having fun, and he will always tell us he worked for his money and we should work for ours. While growing up i have been a short tempered and extremely quiet person and my family felt I was weird and invited a pastor who said I was evil and I was going to destroy the family and kill my mum. And so that day my life changed, I got treated differently and was taken from one church to another and other pastors never said I was evil but still my parents continued. So now I’m grown(23)I had an argument with my mum and she said she isn’t surprised cause I hate her and I’m evil so I felt so sad and decided to open to the reason I was really quiet was her brother was abusing me at home and I was8 till 10 couldn’t tell any one cause I was treated differently and no one would believe me and the way my dad treated me till date has been offer that’s why I’m always just there way I am. Then she called me a liar and told me I should repent and stop accusing her brother. That I am evil and she doesn’t know who I am anymore!
That she’s so disgusted by what I just said and if I like I should tell any man I want to get married to everyone would run away from me.
That I will use my hand to destroy my self!!
I am confused I thought she understood what mental health was and how rape causes trauma..
I don’t live with either of my parents tho I stay with a relative left my dads when I got suicidal when I was 20
That’s during my Nysc.
And we don’t talk so it’s just my mum that talks to me and she’s remarried with kids now

Where in your story did you say you were raped and traumatized?

Seriously, i don't understand

No one feels your pain more than you. So sorry for what you passed through, what about your uncle? Can you try and engage him in a conversation while it's been recorded? Devise means to change your mom's mentality. As for those fake pastors let God be the judge.

Oh dear, so sorry about how everyone seem to have treated you while you were growing up, not knowing or caring to find out the true reason other than blaming and accusing you of being evil.

It's a good thing that you've been able to pull up all through these years, it shows you're a fighter, even when you became so low that you wanted to throw in the towel, you still kept pushing on.

I'll advise that you do not let the stigmatization or disbelief your mum has about you to define the way your life moving forward.

It will be unfair to say "what has past, has passed" because only you know the pain that you feel. However, as you have built up the courage to pour out some of the bottled up emotions (trauma and dejection), just let that courage help you leave all that pain behind.

YOU'RE NOT DEFINED BY THE UNFORTUNATE EVENTS THAT HAPPENED TO YOU IN THE PAST, BUT RATHER BY THE FAVOURABLE DECISION AND PROMISE YOU MAKE TO YOURSELF TO BECOME FREE.

If you're religious, pray and build a friend first in your God who knows the truth and will not judge you by your past. Do not be scared to open up to someone out of fear that they might judge you the way your mum did, just don't LET THE PAIN KILL YOUR SHINE.

You will meet someone who will accept you as you are and always be rooting for you when the time comes. Be strong Sis

Very interesting,I watched a YouTube content that was just like this story of yours on Phrankleen platform, it was a story of a lady in the UK abuse by her uncle that took her to UK ,the abuse continued and she couldn't open up to anyone just because of fear of what her parents would say,the abuse went for years now shes grown and tell her story,you should check the video out you may find your closure in the content. We have to educate our parents or neighbors.

gaby:
Your mom, like most African mums, enjoy living in denial.

They don't even want to imagine the possibility of such confessions, talk more about believing it.

Their best defense mechanism is to turn the table against you and make you become the guilty party who deserves to shut up and remain silent in shame.

To them, it is an abomination that shouldn't be spoken about.

Yes exactly she feels like it’s an abomination

omoiyamayor:
Very interesting,I watched a YouTube content that was just like this story of yours on Phrankleen platform, it was a story of a lady in the UK abuse by her uncle that took her to UK ,the abuse continued and she couldn't open up to anyone just because of fear of what her parents would say,the abuse went for years now shes grown and tell her story,you should check the video out you may find your closure in the content. We have to educate our parents or neighbors.

Thanks so much can you tell please tell me the title of the video or rather give me a link to it

Stephenomozzy:


Oh dear, so sorry about how everyone seem to have treated you while you were growing up, not knowing or caring to find out the true reason other than blaming and accusing you of being evil.

It's a good thing that you've been able to pull up all through these years, it shows you're a fighter, even when you became so low that you wanted to throw in the towel, you still kept pushing on.

I'll advise that you do not let the stigmatization or disbelief your mum has about you to define the way your life moving forward.

It will be unfair to say "what has past, has passed" because only you know the pain that you feel. However, as you have built up the courage to pour out some of the bottled up emotions (trauma and dejection), just let that courage help you leave all that pain behind.

YOU'RE NOT DEFINED BY THE UNFORTUNATE EVENTS THAT HAPPENED TO YOU IN THE PAST, BUT RATHER BY THE FAVOURABLE DECISION AND PROMISE YOU MAKE TO YOURSELF TO BECOME FREE.

If you're religious, pray and build a friend first in your God who knows the truth and will not judge you by your past. Do not be scared to open up to someone out of fear that they might judge you the way your mum did, just don't LET THE PAIN KILL YOUR SHINE.

You will meet someone who will accept you as you are and always be rooting for you when the time comes. Be strong Sis

Thank you so much and God bless you, I joined a mental health group, and yes I’m close to God and I have really supportive friends that loves me. Just that the support from the family is lacking so sometimes I feel alone, but I just had to tell my self that it’s better I stick those that love me genuinely and wouldn’t judge me for anything.. thank you so much

Gracealone:
You need to get someone that you can talk to. You really have to heal up. You moving forward may be tied to your recovery.

Thanks a lot

Assurance001:
No one feels your pain more than you. So sorry for what you passed through, what about your uncle? Can you try and engage him in a conversation while it's been recorded? Devise means to change your mom's mentality. As for those fake pastors let God be the judge.

Haven’t seen him in years. So that will be impossible unless I could put a call through and record it, thanks a lot dear

Didi965:


Thanks so much can you tell please tell me the title of the video or rather give me a link to it

I dont know how to share link here so go to YouTube, search for PHRANKLEEN and on his channel the video title is "shocking, why I refuse to take care of my parents" I'm sure it will heal your wound.peace my sister,you are not alone.

omoiyamayor:
I dont know how to share link here so go to YouTube, search for PHRANKLEEN and on his channel the video title is "shocking, why I refuse to take care of my parents" I'm sure it will heal your wound.peace my sister,you are not alone.

.

God bless you

Bola146:
Seriously, i don't understand

I had a lot of typos I’m sorry, modified the post

OsuIgboIpob:

Where in your story did you say you were raped and traumatized?

I made a lot of typos corrected it, I just need suggestions and advise that’s why I created this account

Sorry for your travails
The earlier you realise you're on your own, the better.
Cut off from everyone now, and get some counselling regarding the rape as a child.
That is the most important step now.
Also, start building a career and make something of your life. Concentrate on yourself for now.
All the best

Didi965:
.

God bless you

come back stronger sister. You can email him maybe your story can get on his platform too.