efosky1246:


I was having this conversation with a friend yesterday. I keep telling her that all this fears you have about marriage will be allayed if you can train your perceptive powers in order to vet and choose the right person. When a man loves you, all this insipid fears created by feminists to make it seem like all women are suffering in marriage suddenly becomes a joke to you.

I really don't know any Nigerian man that wants to treat his wife like a doormat. or control her like a bull. most men just want to lead, albeit with love and then respected and cared for in return.

humilitypays:
Good, so don't make the unfortunate ones who are not enjoying their marriage in Nigeria out of their own making the focus point.....they shouldn't even be a topic of discussion cos I insist they are insignificant number today.


American men treat their women worst than Nigerian men treat their women.

How can a man expect to split every damn bill with his wife, what makes you the man, I will be ashamed to do that even if I live in the US or with Queen Elizabeth.


That is an unfair treatment of a wife to start with.


American men also kill their wives but you guys won't focus on that! Homicide cases are high their, same as domestic violence why are u not focusing on that Why is the divorce rate in the US and most western nation so high if all is well with their marriages


You ladies should stop allowing western media and crazy feminists to deceive you with wrong figures and news of Nigerian married women being treated as slaves when almost all Nigerian wife have a house help, some have drivers, cook, cleaners, etc, so I ask again, who are these suffering Nigerian wives who have been turned to slaves by their Nigerian based husbands


If your husband pays for a house help for you who takes cares of most domestic chores and only require that you prepare his best meals and serve him yourself, is that too much for a man to ask from his wife, does that make his wife a slave

For instance, my house right now is almost automated, everything, automatic wash and dry machine for laundry connected to water supply or u need to do is pour detergent and turn on water and put it on to wash and spin for u, and if u want faster drying u put on the drying bag and it dries it.


Everything in my kitchen is also automated as we speak...even a lazy idiot can cook within few minutes....I have automatic mopper for mopping the floor....tell me what a wife will do that is too tedious to scream slavery in this scenario which has become rampant in modern Nigerian homes all thanks to China affordable technology.

I repeat, don't buy those nonsense stories being peddled online and on TV, they are not many okay

Liliantalks:
we hv over 200m people in Nigeria ,and women as the majority, and u choose to use less than 1% of woman , to prove ur point that majority of Nigerian women ain’t slaves to their husbands?

Humans change so there is no assurance of anyone’s character. An amazing person today can change to a beast and the society encouraging this submissive shit makes it worse

Liliantalks:
they are not insignificant,, the numbers r high !! Stop this rubbish !! And tell nigerian men to do better !!! Almost all marriages in Nigeria , their husbands best them up !!! Infact 80% . So what r u even saying ?

humilitypays:
Lol, now I get it....Liliantalks probably lives abroad and only rely on western media propaganda and online stories as her source of information that 80% of Nigerian married women gets beaten and turned to slaves by their husbands, wonderful



Nne, have a blessed day, but be careful so you don't end up in a messy marriage out of fear......open your mind, change your perception about marriage and Nigerian men....there are wonderful Nigerian men that if you are fortunate to marry one, you will willingly relocate from wherever you are living to be with him in Nigeria...there are millions of them. Nigerian men are the best in the world when it comes to treating women right.....I am not including the far northern Nigerian men in my stat, please note that cos I cannot vouch for them due to their religious influence over there.

humilitypays:
Lol, now I get it....Liliantalks probably lives abroad and only rely on western media propaganda and online stories as her source of information that 80% of Nigerian married women gets beaten and turned to slaves by their husbands, wonderful



Nne, have a blessed day, but be careful so you don't end up in a messy marriage out of fear......open your mind, change your perception about marriage and Nigerian men....there are wonderful Nigerian men that if you are fortunate to marry one, you will willingly relocate from wherever you are living to be with him in Nigeria...there are millions of them. Nigerian men are the best in the world when it comes to treating women right.....I am not including the far northern Nigerian men in my stat, please note that cos I cannot vouch for them due to their religious influence over there.

One4me:


A few "Opinions/Corrections", without going into too much details, if you dont mind:
Let me use your numbering to make it easier for all of us!

1) Is it a coincidence that Women get custody of the children, 98% of the time and therefore gets PAID money by the ex-husband?
So, in effect, it is always Women getting paid, even when the results of their Parenting is woeful, as can be seen from the number of Prisoners who were raised by Single Mothers (there is that one in a thousand that doesnot fit that description bu tit is too small to be of any significance).
That is the UNFAIRNESS in the law.

2) True, you are not forced to get married but Policies are put in place to force you to marry, if you want to live better!
For example, single Men pay tax at the rate of almost 50%, (most places it ranges between 45% and 55%), but if you marry, you tax band comes down to 21% and we are talking of places where you cant dodge this tax on any income you make!
So, the Law is unfair in that context. Let single and married people have the same tax band.

On the issue of Baby Mama, you will still have to pay because the Woman will run to the Courts to get Child Support payment, not withstanding whether you have been more than financially responsible for the Child, she just wants a steady income from you and the child is a good bait!
Some of them, after getting that steady income order from the court, they will still be "pallying" the guy for extra money along side!
So, Baby Mama arraingment does not help a man that much!

3) Pre Nuptial agreements are good but you know thatit is also being challenged in court, by greedy women who signed it but dont want to be bound by it.
Moreover, most wife to be have perfected the art of emotionally blackmailing their husband-to-be, into not signing such agreements, with statements like "Are you saying you are already planning for the breakage of our marriage? Is that how much you love me? I am not after your money so just forget it, l am not signing anything, etc" ...and the weak and blackmailed husband foolishly oblige, only to regret it in future when the woman shows him that Women, will always be women.

4) You are right about most things you said here.
But the "Top heirachy" dont consider divorce most times because they both have too much to lose and you know rich people dont joke with their assets!
Take for example, most "heavy-weight" Pastors/Religious leaders are groaning under the weight of their over-bearing spouse but they will not consider a divorce because it can "break the Ministry" and destroy the source of wealth and Power they exercise!
So, they would rather enudre it with deep resentment (while they pretend to the members) for each other.
For Top heirachy people, its all about preserving the status quo but for poor people, they have nothing to lose and the woman has a lot to gain.

5) Again, you are right ! the laws are wack and those who are currently benefiting from it , think it is okay and they will support it until it turns against them.
Samething will happens with the marital laws that favour women today.
You hear Women say it is my body and l can do whatever l like with it but when they compete against a transgender, they simply realise that if everyone did whatever they like with their body (like sex change!), it can affect relationships and how it relates to others.

But like someone said, in the nearest future, Men will not need women to or wives to have Sex and have legitimate Children (paid surrogacy, test tube babies, commercial, factory-line produced babies, etc) and the issue of marriage will be Dead On Arrival. That will signal the end of all those marital laws that favour ex-wives.
But at that point, just watch Women start clamouring to stop Men from having Children without going into marriage or from a woman attached to them, so that she can get "financial compensation" one way or the other.
That is how unfair Women can be, to Men.
Women dont undertand 'NOW', that it is in their own "long term interest" to treat Man fairly in marriage and divorce, but they willleanr very soon.

The above are just my own opinion on your post, not intended to condemn what you wrote, just take it as a rejoinder.

Liliantalks:
infact 80% of nigerian married women r treated like slaves, just that the society hv subdue them to keep shut.

lefulefu:
the woman that is williing to stay with u in naija carry her to US and let her see the benefits of seperation and she will seperate from u one time .the reason most ladies in naija are unwilling to seperate is because there are more disadvantages in being divorced than being married
a divorced woman in nigeria will have difficulties looking after the children if the man is unwilling to help and there is nothing anybody can do
in naija there are no welfare packages for divorced women
but in the USA even with the benefits of being divorced there still many western stay with their husbands..why do u think this happens?
its love
the thing is that in nigeria many women marry for security reasons and for money and when such women happen to go to the US and they see it is more beneficial being divorced they will seperate from their husbands and start collecting the financial benefits.

Liliantalks:
they are not insignificant,, the numbers r high !! Stop this rubbish !! And tell nigerian men to do better !!! Almost all marriages in Nigeria , their husbands beat them up !!! Infact 80% . So what r u even saying ?

RamessesIV:
For me whether you marry from nigerian or marry in the usa,is by God's grace,me I personally know I can't carry an Edo girl with me to usa it can't happen,but men should be wise,in the usa a woman can just wake up and divorce cause she knows she won't loose much

executive12:


Of course, most Nigerians (male and female) are fake.

BotafogoJunior:
just shut up please,everything na Gods grace for una side, and yet you still tell men to wise when choosing a marriage partner you for leave everything to Gods grace naa

RamessesIV:
Next time learn to make a point without being rude,you just ended up saying nothing

BotafogoJunior:
i said something,check the comment that i quoted again.

RamessesIV:
For me whether you marry from nigerian or marry in the usa,is by God's grace,me I personally know I can't carry an Edo girl with me to usa it can't happen,but men should be wise,in the usa a woman can just wake up and divorce cause she knows she won't loose much

Eniolakiite:
Like if you know what most women bottle up in their marriages in Nigeria.
Once they cross The Atlantic ocean to North America, they start feeling a refreshing aura of how they have rights as a woman and they use it fully and unfortunately some abuse it but such is life. Everything in life gets abused by some.

I know of two couples who got their PR to Canada just last year and are already in their divorce process. The women according to them have been tolerating abuse since when they lived in Nigeria.
It’s like women wait to leave the shores of Africa to exercise all their rights and stop enduring pain.

Liliantalks:
begging a man ? While he’s misbehaving? No that’s foolishness to me

lefulefu:
edo girls dey do an un do in europe ..i can understand why u cant carry an edo chick along

Eniolakiite:
Like if you know what most women bottle up in their marriages in Nigeria.
Once they cross The Atlantic ocean to North America, they start feeling a refreshing aura of how they have rights as a woman and they use it fully and unfortunately some abuse it but such is life. Everything in life gets abused by some.

I know of two couples who got their PR to Canada just last year and are already in their divorce process. The women according to them have been tolerating abuse since when they lived in Nigeria.
It’s like women wait to leave the shores of Africa to exercise all their rights and stop enduring pain.

emmaodet:


Are you saying our laws enslave our women? is there any part of the law that enslaves women? why are we quick to demonize our country? is there anything nigerian men are doing that the women dont have access to? Most times we talk, open threads on how to travel to abroad etc, some even do thanksgiving in church for getting a visa and somehow look at others as unfortunate for been in nigeria and i wonder where are we getting this mentality from? who told these guys people in nigeria are suffering while the ones in abroad are the fortunate ones?
And that is how some of my friends will come home and be sneaking/hiding from people as if we way they here dey hungry, even with your coming home i will still flex you and host you so what the fvck?
Like what the op said in his first statement that - ''leave that your native brain'' to HELL with him if he thinks he is better off than some here because he thinks like a native fowl too. Leave your yeye bride and bigboyism too etc
I dont know his family or background but i believe he his part of the people who scream ''moti bo - Am free'' when he got his visa at walter carrington in VI

TonyeBarcanista:

Is Christ a slave to God? Are Christians slaves to Christ? I'm sure you will say No! Likewise the relationship between a man and his wife.

Submissiveness is not slavery. In every human relationship there is always hierarchy with one person sitting at the top in authority. All are equal humans but there is first among equals.

Your Line manager is an employee like you but he is your boss by his office and you must submit to his authority in official matters.

Your class captain in school was your classmate but his position as class captain placed him at higher authority over you and you must submit to him on class related matters.

The husband is of higher authority to the wife and she must submit to him in family matters.

It is called first among equals!

Some of you don't even understand slavery! Slavery is what is obtained in the West whose laws are skewed to takeaway the right of men and place them at disadvantage position to women. The laws that oppressed men and place them at the mercies of women in their homes.

lefulefu:

but in the USA even with the benefits of being divorced there still many western stay with their husbands..why do u think this happens?
its love
the thing is that in nigeria many women marry for security reasons and for money and when such women happen to go to the US and they see it is more beneficial being divorced they will seperate from their husbands and start collecting the financial benefits.

hollywater:
You got it wrong. There are many to make money over here at least to be enough for you to sustain yourself family. As a Nigeria, anything you bought here and send back home, you are sure of selling it with gain.
That alone is enough for your wife and kids home. While your job here is enough to settle bills and take care of yourself. Our only problem is the other relatives we have to help.

veykey:
With all your write up, I didn't see any mention of child support. By the time you pay through your nose, you'll bottle your willy.

macho44:
Having a baby in 2 years Time if Marriage remains a mirage

RamessesIV:
No you didn't and I said learn to write without being rude

BotafogoJunior:
off course as expected,you would never agree that i said something......you no fit ever agree naa,and stop telling that i am rude,while you are the rudest....shior!!

ghettochild4u:

No wife of mine is coming to meet me abroad unless to come visit..
Infact I go establish business for naija to tie her down...
Make she dey manage am...
Or in a case if we both move over there together with plans to save money n invest back home..
In all the advise here is that the husband shd also be making as much as the wife if not more sef

humilitypays:
Lilian, wait until you are married, and if the man start treating you like a slave, then you can raise alarm okay? As for now, focus on your boyfriends, crushes and besties and leave marriage issues for adults

humilitypays:

Or is your married aunt being treated like a slave by her husband Is your dad treating your mom like a slave Is your uncle treating his wife like a slave too Who are these Nigerian married women being treated like a slave by their husbands This thing mostly happen in the northern region due to high number of illiteracy and poverty......the story has changed drastically in the southern Nigeria.

humilitypays:

White men you guys use as yardstick to measure good treatment of married women maltreat their wives.....they go as far as killing them for flimsy excuses.....there is high divorce rate in Western countries making their women to turn to African men; mostly Nigerian men for love and reason Yahoo and internet romance scammers are still smiling to the banks.....so if all is rosy with Western marriages, why is there high divorce rate Why are their women crying and looking towards Africa and internet romance for what they couldn't find with their men

humilitypays:

If you like, continue to buy into western media and feminists propaganda that paint African patriarchy as evil while they celebrate and crown their western matriarchy as the best thing on earth amidst global outcry from their men rendered useless by women who abused the western matriarchy practiced in the west.
Worst of, you can marry a white guy and compare the difference after few years of marriage, we will be here to read your story God keep us all alive

RamessesIV:
Keep gas lighting I have already given you an advice is your choice to do with it what you want