emmanuelewumi:




Be truthful to yourself, no big deal in saying I can only afford Bleep naira as schools fees.

No big deal in looking like a bad person, if deep within you , you know you are trying your best and you are not a bad person

I totally agree. But it's easier said than done

emmanuelewumi:



But it will be a major worry, if all your income goes to the same account and both of you are signatories to the account.


You will need her approval for all withdrawals and expenses

You're right sir.

olujaidi:


I totally agree. But it's easier said than done

If you find this difficult, you need to seriously work on yourself confidence.

You sound like someone who crave for the validation of others

emmanuelewumi:


If you find this difficult, you need to seriously work on your self confidence.

You sound like someone who crave for the validation of others

I'm not married or getting married anytime soon. I'm not in any of those situations. But it is a situation that alot of people face which is why I asked those questions. It would have been better if you'd phrased your statement as an inquiry rather than a conclusion

DigitalMallam:

Good for you and stick with that practice.
The fact that it works for you doesn't mean it will work for all. As human beings we are wired differently and can never act or behave same way. There's no such thing as one size fit all behaviourally in marriage.
As we advance in marriage, we grow and learn more of each other.
For me, I will never keep a joint with my wife. That's my style and the way I want to live with my wife.
Neither have I request to know how much she has in her account.
I've seen and witnessed what those who keep joint accounts do to cook thier books in other to conceal vital information from the other half.
Some hide 50% of their salary in VSS and Coop deductions, print an entirely different payslip & emoluments letter to take home.
A woman once beg me to issue a dummy letter stating that her official/status car must be seen or driven daily to work. I asked why, she said her husband has hijacked the car from her which she doesn't like because they do share common acct.
Perhaps the practice was working for them at the early stage of the union, but destiny and luck differs. Along the line the woman became a high flier and way above the husband.

Marriage is about trust trully, but trust alone is not enough, understanding of each other, perseverance and ability to let go of your ego need to complement the trust. And more importantly financial strength.
In the case of death, both should have a will. I can't allow my wife to inherit my estate alone when I'm long gone. What if I die early, she can still go and marry another man, what happens to my siblings and parents?

Very good insight


A man died at the age of 52, with two houses in Lagos.


He willed the two houses to the two sons, in the Will he said the house must not be sold in the life time of their mother and their mother is entitled to 30% of the rental income from the two houses. The rental income will continue for life to his wife unless the woman remarries.

Men are learning fast.

olujaidi:


I'm not married or getting married anytime soon. I'm not in any of those situations. But it is a situation that alot of people face which is why I asked those questions. It would have been better if you'd phrased your statement as an inquiry rather than a conclusion

Very difficult to go far in life, business, leadership if you always need the validation of others

emmanuelewumi:





Very good insight


A man died at the age of 52, with two houses in Lagos.


He willed the two houses to the two sons, in the Will he said the house must not be sold in the life time of their mother and their mother is entitled to 30% of the rental income from the two houses. The rental income will continue for life to his wife unless the woman remarries.

Men are learning fast.

I just like the bold paragraph in that WILL

Good day house,

Please if anyone here have a soft copy of the recent stamp duty act I will appreciate if he/she can help me with it. My bank keep charging for stamp duty on deposits I made to my account by myself. From the excerpts I have read it should not be that way but they keep doing it. This time I am determined to stop them and possibly ask for a refund. So I will need to have a full picture before I go into the battle with them.

emmanuelewumi:



It should be twice

Thank you so much

ukay2:



I just like the bold paragraph in that WILL

Some criminally minded men, now target women who lost their husbands and the man left houses and investments. They will show so much love and affection to those women, they will end up assisting such women to sell the investments and houses. At times they will make such women to combine business with pleasure, whereby such men will be the buyers of the investments and houses. Which they ie new lover will buy on credit or at give away prices.

Theconglomerate:
People that can't trust their wives usually feels so because they make zero income and probably came from a place that could use a lot of help,in other words make them no use their money take solve family problems of their in laws..
That is why it is always good to be on a certain social strata before getting married,not just to raise a comfortable family but also increases one's reach in the kind of families he will pick a wife from.
No be that kind family weh you go Marry wife and you hear say them don roof house weh their late father abandon 25 years ago just after you marry her,instead of you to be happy for them,you go start to wonder why it happened immediately after you marry their daughter.
"Could it be coincidence?"you will ask yourself
Or did I just marry a BIG FAT FÙCKING RAT that I will be stocked with for the rest of my life
Immediately your hair will start falling off in your early thirties due to over thinking and the inevitable financial mishap that awaits you.
One will stop eating,start daydreaming,losing focus and start exhibiting symptoms of poverty even before it starts and then the shocking news will come
Guess what it is;
The mother in law that had 2 lazy grown up sons and semi frustrated daughters that could barely fix their leaking roof for 7 years just took delivery of a new SUV and now wear only gold necklace and now tie hollandis wrapper to sit at home.
And then yours truly,the angel God personally sent to rescue a generation out of poverty will pay a visit one day to them,stays dumbfounded,goes back home with his wife and die of heart attack leaving behind all what he has toiled for,for a people he don't know..
I will be the last person to date or marry a poor woman
This story is very generic and refers to no one in particular,take it to heart at your own risk cos I won't bother responding to criticism.
It is not an advise!

Lmao Ur pretty mouthy for a guy whose girlfriend is paying up his monthly remittance. swerve!
The character you portray here comes off as someone who talks more and do so little . Is it the advice you dish out here, they are all textbook advice, theoretical but not practical, the type we were taught in Nigeria universities, only applicable in 1900 .
Anyways keep up the good work. Each time I come across your comments, you leave me laughing my hard ass out and that I will commend you for.

NL1960:


Was thinking it was abroad because it is abroad such things happen. There are some monies spent by a man that most times if the wife knows, there will be trouble. Monies sent to relatives and monies sent to childhood friends(males and females) who could have fallen on bad times and whom the wife does not really like.

You're right.

Good thing is, I don't spend that kind of money. My own religion does not permit me to marry more than one wife and adultery is frowned upon

emmanuelewumi:





Very good insight


A man died at the age of 52, with two houses in Lagos.


He willed the two houses to the two sons, in the Will he said the house must not be sold in the life time of their mother and their mother is entitled to 30% of the rental income from the two houses. The rental income will continue for life to his wife unless the woman remarries.

Men are learning fast.

A woman that has been good and supportive deserves a part of the will even if she chooses to remarry. She definetly would have made sacrificies for the man to acquire such properties by way of delayed gratification... etc. I would never put such clauses. Let us not encourage such acts.

I love my wife and even if she chooses to remarry after I am gone I will only wish for her a happy life with the new man and not take away from her what she had also contributed by way of delayed gratifcation etc. A good wife will honour you even in death.

A lot of men remarry when they lose their wives (inheriting their wives possessions without a will) so why should it be different for women.....

AnthonyAnderson:


A woman that has been good and supportive deserves a part of the will even if she chooses to remarry. She definetly would have made sacrificies for the man to acquire such properties by way of delayed gratification... etc. I would never put such clauses. Let us not encourage such acts.

I love my wife and even if she chooses to remarry after I am gone I will only wish for her a happy life with the new man and not take away from her what she had also contributed by way of delayed gratifcation etc. A good wife will honour you even in death.

A lot of men remarry when they loose their wives (inheriting their wives possessions without a will) so why should it be different for women.....

The wife equally has her own assets. Why should he will his two houses to her and she remarries, then the new husband will manipulate her to dispose of the house which is always the case.

Since the man willed the property to his two sons, it still belongs to their mother indirectly.


I will never inherit my wife's properties, it goes to her children.

Her properties and Investments will be held in a trust and managed by a reputable Trustees firm eg United Capital Trustees on behalf of the children until they complete their post graduate education and start working

My wife was working when we were dating and I was jobless but was streetwise. Got a job, got married, relocated her from her job location and she resigned. The only job she has now is to wife me and mother my children till the last kid gets to 4. Then she will get any business of her choice to manage as am not expecting her to go start all over when her peers must have risen above her. She will be the CEO of her own biz. Time is tough so I understand couples both working and risking he kids future. I understand why misery School closes by 4pm is for parents to get back from work. That is detrimental to the kids welfare. Leaving your kids entirely to nanny is equally unacceptable. Our kids are our greatest assets. I will love her to work but I will love our kids to have the best parenting. My sister and the husband were colleagues and earning almost same salary, after years of battling for who to resign. We pressurized my sister to resign being the lady that can handle kids and not the man. She left with the kids to UK, today she has a PHD and is only waiting for the kids to be independent then she comes and take up lecturing. Let your selfishness don't put your kids in arms way.

emmanuelewumi:



The wife equally has her own assets. Why should he will his two houses to her and she remarries, then the new husband will manipulate her to dispose of the house which is always the case.

Since the man willed the property to his two sons, it still belongs to their mother indirectly.


I will never inherit my wife's properties, it goes to her children.

Her properties and Investments will be held in a trust and managed by a reputable Trustees firm eg United Capital Trustees on behalf of the children

Like I said.... a good wife that has been supportive and I also said part of the will not all.

Not all men will manipulate her to dispose her inherited properties. We can start by teaching our wives how not to fall victim to this if it happens. I know some women that have remarried with properties inherited from their late husbands but still own same properties till date and didnt fall into any manipulation. FACT. If the men tried to manipulate I wont know but what I know is that 15years /20 years since second marriage they are doing stronger than before riding on the good fortunes left for them by their late spouse.

One of such women....Has two filling stations the husband willed to her....Then it was Unipetrol. She sponsored all her children abroad. Remarried 7 years after her husband passed on. Her new husband is also rich and humble. Her late husband was building their home when he died. The new one helped her to complete it and they moved in together.

They both run their separate businesses. This is just one of 11 similar cases I know. I honestly understand your concerns but truth is a lot of good exists out there.

I will equally retire and she runs the business while I jolly around doing nothing. Then kids are all gone. Don't abandon your kids because of career. Don't bear kids if you are not ready to groom them as they might be your down fall. Its a sin not to cater for your kids financially and emotionally.

Nyxx123:



Lmao Ur pretty mouthy for a guy whose girlfriend is paying up his monthly remittance. swerve!
The character you portray here comes off as someone who talks more and do so little . Is it the advice you dish out here, they are all textbook advice, theoretical but not practical, the type we were taught in Nigeria universities, only applicable in 1900 .
Anyways keep up the good work. Each time I come across your comments, you leave me laughing my hard ass out and that I will commend you for.

I've always made it known here that I'm not big na.
I sell fresh tomatoes for a living for crying out loud.
You sound really pained by my post sha,I wonder why?
I'm sure you fall in the category I kicked against.
Don't hate me,hate the system.
Poor women is a NO!

AnthonyAnderson:


Like I said.... a good wife that has been supportive and I also said part of the will not all.

Not all men will manipulate her to dispose her inherited properties. We can start by teaching our wives how not to fall victim to this if it happens. I know some women that have remarried with properties inherited from their late husbands but still own same properties till date and didnt fall into any manipulation. FACT. If the men tried to manipulate I wont know but what I know is that 15years /20 years since second marriage they are doing stronger than before riding on the good fortunes left for them by their late spouse.

One of such women....Has two filling stations the husband willed to her....Then it was Unipetrol. She sponsored all her children abroad. Remarried 7 years after her husband passed on. Her new husband is also rich and humble. Her late husband was building their home when he died. The new one helped her to complete it and they moved in together.

They both run their separate businesses. This is just one of 11 similar cases I know. I honestly understand your concerns but truth is a lot of good exists out there.

The houses belong to her children, so I see no reason why a woman will be worried. She is also getting rental income from the property till when she gets another husband


The most important thing is to assist our wives to succeed and be independent. While they are married to us, helping them have assets and investments to their names. I am from a background where my grandmother's had properties and assets, my mother has property and assets, my wife has property and assets. Waiting till you die before a woman inherit something from you, before she can have something in her name is rather too late.

Most men now assists their wives to succeed and be independent, and whenever they write a will concerning their properties and assets, they usually include this powerful clause.


Different strokes for different people, just do what you are comfortable with based on your experience and knowledge

emmanuelewumi:



Some criminally minded men, now target women who lost their husbands and the man left houses and investments. They will show so much love and affection to those women, they will end up assisting such women to sell the investments and houses. At times they will make such women to combine business with pleasure, whereby such men will be the buyers of the investments and houses. Which they ie new lover will buy on credit or at give away prices.

That is why WILL protects the dead and his desires for the living he left behind.

Especially if a good Trust is executing the WILL. Everybody will comply to the dead person wishes.

I now see WILL as a kind of insurance to protect ones investments after demise.

I learnt so much from Late Gani's WILL.

AnthonyAnderson:


A woman that has been good and supportive deserves a part of the will even if she chooses to remarry. She definetly would have made sacrificies for the man to acquire such properties by way of delayed gratification... etc. I would never put such clauses. Let us not encourage such acts.

I love my wife and even if she chooses to remarry after I am gone I will only wish for her a happy life with the new man and not take away from her what she had also contributed by way of delayed gratifcation etc. A good wife will honour you even in death.

A lot of men remarry when they loose their wives (inheriting their wives possessions without a will) so why should it be different for women.....

That is why a wife should have her own WILL too. It's not only husband should have WILL.

Oga is it star, guilder, malt, fanta or bottled water you want, please take two bottles. Ubde come pay.

DigitalMallam:

Good for you and stick with that practice.
The fact that it works for you doesn't mean it will work for all. As human beings we are wired differently and can never act or behave same way. There's no such thing as one size fit all behaviourally in marriage.
As we advance in marriage, we grow and learn more of each other.
For me, I will never keep a joint with my wife. That's my style and the way I want to live with my wife.
Neither have I request to know how much she has in her account.
I've seen and witnessed what those who keep joint accounts do to cook thier books in other to conceal vital information from the other half.
Some hide 50% of their salary in VSS and Coop deductions, print an entirely different payslip & emoluments letter to take home.
A woman once beg me to issue a dummy letter stating that her official/status car must be seen or driven daily to work. I asked why, she said her husband has hijacked the car from her which she doesn't like because they do share common acct.
Perhaps the practice was working for them at the early stage of the union, but destiny and luck differs. Along the line the woman became a high flier and way above the husband.

Marriage is about trust trully, but trust alone is not enough, understanding of each other, perseverance and ability to let go of your ego need to complement the trust. And more importantly financial strength.
In the case of death, both should have a will. I can't allow my wife to inherit my estate alone when I'm long gone. What if I die early, she can still go and marry another man, what happens to my siblings and parents?

My people where can someone find better wife, the girl I've been chatting with on Facebook just billed me N3.5 million yes Three point five million Naira for iPhone business she says she just got a good dealers contact.

I neva even see her pant but she sounds like a nice girl, pls could this be a good investment or I should just keep sending her the usual N25K transfer every month and wait till road clear.

TotoNaRubber:
My people where can someone find better wife, the girl I've been chatting with on Facebook just billed me N3.5 million yes Three point five million Naira for iPhone business she says she just got a good dealers contact.

I neva even see her pant but she sounds like a nice girl, pls could this be a good investment or I should just keep sending her the usual N25K transfer every month and wait till road clear.

Work on yourself and change your circle of friends.


Good luck

TotoNaRubber:
My people where can someone find better wife, the girl I've been chatting with on Facebook just billed me N3.5 million yes Three point five million Naira for iPhone business she says she just got a good dealers contact.

I neva even see her pant but she sounds like a nice girl, pls could this be a good investment or I should just keep sending her the usual N25K transfer every month and wait till road clear.

This your moniker dey fear me.

TotoNaRubber:
My people where can someone find better wife, the girl I've been chatting with on Facebook just billed me N3.5 million yes Three point five million Naira for iPhone business she says she just got a good dealers contact.

I neva even see her pant but she sounds like a nice girl, pls could this be a good investment or I should just keep sending her the usual N25K transfer every month and wait till road clear.

she is thinking /protraying u are a yahoo boy that why .....that a truck load of 33000 litres of petrol that take me 5 days to sell to make a gross of 330k ....

TotoNaRubber:
My people where can someone find better wife, the girl I've been chatting with on Facebook just billed me N3.5 million yes Three point five million Naira for iPhone business she says she just got a good dealers contact.

I neva even see her pant but she sounds like a nice girl, pls could this be a good investment or I should just keep sending her the usual N25K transfer every month and wait till road clear.

Hahahaha

When you put someone that is not your mother on a 25k monthly salary, why will you not been seen as a money miss road. I can almost swear that your name on phone contacts is "mugu 3". This your moniker mean say u suppose get experience na, wertin happen?

TotoNaRubber:
My people where can someone find better wife, the girl I've been chatting with on Facebook just billed me N3.5 million yes Three point five million Naira for iPhone business she says she just got a good dealers contact.

I neva even see her pant but she sounds like a nice girl, pls could this be a good investment or I should just keep sending her the usual N25K transfer every month and wait till road clear.

Nyxx123:



Lmao Ur pretty mouthy for a guy whose girlfriend is paying up his monthly remittance. swerve!
The character you portray here comes off as someone who talks more and do so little . Is it the advice you dish out here, they are all textbook advice, theoretical but not practical, the type we were taught in Nigeria universities, only applicable in 1900 .
Anyways keep up the good work. Each time I come across your comments, you leave me laughing my hard ass out and that I will commend you for.

Lol...the girlfriend servicing loan and baskets of tomato talks are a front. We know who he is, and he has promised to reveal himself on a "good day".

olujaidi:


She's taking advantage of his trust. If not, why hasn't she stopped it? Instead she's afraid that she won't be able to continue. It looks like she feels justified to do so. If so, what could her motivation be?

Are you disguising selfishness as karma? In that case, what's her own karma?

There is obviously no more love in the marriage. Why would you want to watch your beloved suffer? I m not sure whose fault it is because I wasnt there. Moreover this is rarely 100 percent from a single side. I may have hastily jumped to conclusions and I apologise.

It's just that stuff like stopping your wife from working triggers me. Think of your wife as a more sensitive younger brother and you wont have any issues.

Thank you @ emmanuelewumi

Are you saying CNN, Channels, NTA etc and Newspapers will suffice?

emmanuelewumi:




We followed the news when the events happened.

qmd24:

Thank you @ emmanuelewumi

Are you saying CNN, Channels, NTA etc and Newspapers will suffice?

Newspaper, I witnessed the event of the merger of Standard Trust Bank and UBA