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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / How Do I Deal With A Weak Wife... (4941 Views)
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How Do I Deal With A Weak Wife... by charles009(m): 11:23am On May 11, 2020 |
Hello folks, I have to put this here, cos I feel I have had enough. Please nobody should quote me cos I intend taking this post down afterwards. I have issues dealing with a very weak wife(27), mostly where her friends and neighbours are. Since I married her 4 years ago I have allowed her handle things her way and its always from one issue to another. Always disturbing me with irrelevant gossips that wouldn't put food on my table. I paid heavily for a fashion designer school, still same issue of madam versus students bullshit. In feb I asked her to stop, so I can have peace, thanks to covid 19. When I decided I have had enough, I told her I wouldn't want to see anybody in my house going forward, since they have turned my house to a gossip zone whenever I am away at work. Once, she hears peoples voice, she opens my door and starts hailing people who its obvious are unhappy with my decision, they even teamed against her. I see her actions as plain weakness. I have tried dialogue, yet no improvement. So I decided to go very hard on her. I told her that anytime I see her with those click of friends, I would not hesitate to embarrass her outside. This morning, she had gone to get mop then begins the regular gist, I had to immediately shout her to go inside. Its obvious that my mode of life contradicts her way of life, I have decided to bend a little bit to accomodate her. Once I drive out, kapish my house becomes a meeting ground, all sorts of gossips in the estate are disclosed. Am I going too hard on her or is there any better way to handle this. Please DONT QUOTE ME.. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: How Do I Deal With A Weak Wife... by Kestolove(m): 11:30am On May 11, 2020 |
U marry a gossip as a wife..sowie 12 Likes |
Re: How Do I Deal With A Weak Wife... by ifex370(m): 11:33am On May 11, 2020 |
charles009: Get your wife a job. 17 Likes |
Re: How Do I Deal With A Weak Wife... by James39: 11:34am On May 11, 2020 |
didnt you notice her behavour atleast a glimes of it before marrying her, or she suddenly changed? thats my question. my suggestion to you will be to change environment or get her a job that is time consuming even if the pay is little. she wont have time for gossips 8 Likes |
Re: How Do I Deal With A Weak Wife... by chii8(f): 11:37am On May 11, 2020 |
ifex370: The guy said,"please, don't quote me". respect that please. 23 Likes |
Re: How Do I Deal With A Weak Wife... by doggedfighter(f): 11:38am On May 11, 2020 |
Find a tasking job for her. For such a person, there should not be an idle moment 3 Likes |
Re: How Do I Deal With A Weak Wife... by chii8(f): 11:41am On May 11, 2020 |
Op how many children do you have?The reason I'm asking is because I want to know if that's her own way of dealing with loneliness.or get her a networking type of business,so the gossiping traits will be channelled into inviting customers. 9 Likes 1 Share |
Re: How Do I Deal With A Weak Wife... by charles009(m): 11:43am On May 11, 2020 |
chii8: 2 1 Like |
Re: How Do I Deal With A Weak Wife... by internationalman(m): 11:46am On May 11, 2020 |
You think this common phenomenal among women is a problem ![]() Wait till she starts stepping out on you with a close friend of yours, then you would know what really a problem is. It's her nature. Even if you get her a job she would still gossip with the people there. Stop trying to change people, you will be very happy if you learn to live with them.. The fact that you don't gossip doesn't mean you don't have other bad habits that she herself doesn't like. 14 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: How Do I Deal With A Weak Wife... by Shelumiel: 11:54am On May 11, 2020 |
Bro, its quite obvious your wife lacks ambition hence her need for gossip. My advice is this : discuss this with your spiritual leader ; let him counsel her and if she does not change, bring the issue before her parents. 1 Like |
Re: How Do I Deal With A Weak Wife... by Nobody: 11:59am On May 11, 2020 |
you can't change people...but environment attimes changes people a lot.....my piece of advice, 1....kindly relocate to a more isolated area...e.g and estate or new site where people are lesser in the compound and area and ensure your neighbors are all working. 2....After relocating...try to get a job or shop for her...or you buy her a laptop where you'll ask her to type 50pages per day before you come back from work that its a piece you'd be using at work. 3....Introduce her to Nairaland....she will get tired of their gist and will always want to check the latest news and also learn some things about life on Family section. Trying to change her won't work out soon. Best of lucks Sir. 32 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: How Do I Deal With A Weak Wife... by LordKO(m): 12:15pm On May 11, 2020 |
The day one marries a spouse who doesn't share same ethical leanings with him/her, automatically he becomes a subjugable or a conscientious carefree person, or a subjugator. Your type of wife doesn't deserve neither a subjugator nor a subjugable husband, citing your submission. So, you have to use a conscientious carefree approach to help her overcome her weakness unconsciously/unwittingly or wittingly - It'll be mutual lose and win for both of you while it lasts. If you can perfect it, she'll gradually overcome it, unless she doesn't value you in particular and the bond that holds two of you in general. 13 Likes 1 Share |
Re: How Do I Deal With A Weak Wife... by Kingarthur21: 12:25pm On May 11, 2020 |
@charles009 I suppose I am allowed to mention you. That's the issue with marrying whose personality doesn't match yours. That's a typical female behaviour ,its normal. Small talks,busy bodies,gossiping,malice ,that's a natural thing for women. You can curb it by: 1) making a fence or something to separate your house from others 2)if you can't afford the above you can get her lots of books (self development, motivational etc) and movies to read and watch. 3)set projects and goals both of you can achieve together to distract her. 4)introduce her to a female friend of yours with worthy character and who commands respect. Encourage her to visit her and invite her over. 3 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: How Do I Deal With A Weak Wife... by Kingarthur21: 12:27pm On May 11, 2020 |
Lizzyangel:I will not advice him to introduce her to the most caustic forum I have ever known. You want misandrist and misogynistic ideologies to corrupt her? 1 Like |
Re: How Do I Deal With A Weak Wife... by Mariangeles(f): 12:29pm On May 11, 2020 |
Keep on talking to her, overtime, she'll adjust. Working on each other's flaws to better accommodate the other is what relationship is all about. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: How Do I Deal With A Weak Wife... by Nobody: 12:31pm On May 11, 2020 |
Kingarthur21: you're the one taking it in such direction...there are mature minds and topics on Family section where she can learn from and if possible change her lifestyle after reading others marital stories. 11 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: How Do I Deal With A Weak Wife... by Ybaby: 12:38pm On May 11, 2020 |
charles009: Find her a job 2 hours away from home. She is a reflection of your choice so manage the situation. You wanted someone you can control. You have it! 5 Likes |
Re: How Do I Deal With A Weak Wife... by Ybaby: 12:39pm On May 11, 2020 |
Kingarthur21: She will corrupt NL with gossip. Biko keep her away. 12 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: How Do I Deal With A Weak Wife... by Nobody: 12:45pm On May 11, 2020 |
ifex370:you are an illiterate, he said it like twice, Pls don't quote me and you went ahead to quote him? 10 Likes |
Re: How Do I Deal With A Weak Wife... by Graxie(f): 12:46pm On May 11, 2020 |
I pity your wife, nwanyi ibem ndoo. 1 Like |
Re: How Do I Deal With A Weak Wife... by charles009(m): 1:08pm On May 11, 2020 |
Kingarthur21: Nice one bro, I will surely try this.. |
Re: How Do I Deal With A Weak Wife... by cococandy(f): 1:33pm On May 11, 2020 |
@bold, she needs to be more mature. This will be like handling a baby if he does all that for her. She needs to grow up. Lizzyangel: 2 Likes |
Re: How Do I Deal With A Weak Wife... by cococandy(f): 1:34pm On May 11, 2020 |
Grammar ![]() LordKO: 11 Likes |
Re: How Do I Deal With A Weak Wife... by Cuddlebugie(f): 1:47pm On May 11, 2020 |
2 Likes |
Re: How Do I Deal With A Weak Wife... by LordKO(m): 1:52pm On May 11, 2020 |
1 Like |
Re: How Do I Deal With A Weak Wife... by cococandy(f): 1:54pm On May 11, 2020 |
LordKO: What? Me? ![]() 4 Likes |
Re: How Do I Deal With A Weak Wife... by Mariangeles(f): 2:02pm On May 11, 2020 |
Ybaby:...but you always knew that about her ![]() Why are you complaining now? ![]() 1 Like |
Re: How Do I Deal With A Weak Wife... by Nobody: 2:03pm On May 11, 2020 |
A SIMPLE DON'T QUOTE ME, YET SOME DUMBASS WON'T LISTEN 5 Likes |
Re: How Do I Deal With A Weak Wife... by Mariangeles(f): 2:11pm On May 11, 2020 |
Graxie: Let us call a spade a spade biko Who can stand such behaviour? Be it male or female? Asiri ajoka! O na ebute nsogbu n'ogbaghara n'ezi n'ulo Onwere onye ga kpa agwa oma, ha si na omere njo? Ihe karia a too ya aka! |
Re: How Do I Deal With A Weak Wife... by veave(f): 2:15pm On May 11, 2020 |
Chai. It not her fault. Guess she grew up in a communal household. E go hard to change that kain person o. 4 Likes |
Re: How Do I Deal With A Weak Wife... by bukatyne(f): 2:16pm On May 11, 2020 |
@ charles009 What does your wife do in terms of productivity? Is she a resourceful wife? |
Re: How Do I Deal With A Weak Wife... by Justbehave(m): 2:21pm On May 11, 2020 |
Graxie:Very disappointing.Call a spade a spade. Must you always side your gender even when they're wrong? Smh. |
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