Hello Nairalanders
I've come to seek advice from y'all and I know I'm in the right forum..I'm an active user here but I opened another account just to hide my identity.

My bf and I met 4yrs ago, before we met I was in an unserious relationship then but I decided to date my bf cuz he was all over me, we had our first fight when he accused me of snapping with a guy closely and I even posted it on Facebook which led to our first break up, then I left him for another guy whom I dated for some months and he also dated another girl during that period too..he never stopped calling throughout that period and even threatened the guy I was dating then to leave me for him,I never really loved the guy I was dating then so it was so easy for me to let go of him then we came back again which I regretted cuz my bf never gave me peace of mind after then, from one accusations to another, always accusing me of cheating, attimes he will wake up and send series of insults to me on Whatsapp, I will cry and later he will beg, whenever he does something he will always beg afterwards and won't care about how I feel, always nagging and he's so hottempered...So 2yrs back we both cheated, and he was even the first person that cheated, the girl he was cheating with called me started threatening me,but I kept mute,then I also cheated...he came to my place one day and he saw the picture of the guy and I on my phone that was when trouble started, he beat me and did lots of things to me,
The next day he begged me and we forgave each other, and that was the beginning of another trouble, he always accused me of cheating everytime and he ends up beating me and leaving me with scars, after he will beg me again, if a strange number calls me he will say I'm cheating on him, if I start counting the times he beat me,is up to 7times and will end up begging everytime that's whenever he remembers how I cheated he gets angry and beats me..He later apologized for beating me but never stops nagging, I really love him that's why I've waited this long.

Whenever I leave for travel he's always accusing me of cheating, he so insecure, he Knows all my phone contacts and whenever he sees new contacts he will start shouting on top of his voice and starts nagging saying horrible things, he never stops checking my phone and whenever I see him after any fight he will come begging then I always end up forgiving him...I really love him but I don't think I can continue anymore because if I end up with him he might kill me last last, cuz of his temper... I've told him I'm not interested anymore but he never stops calling and begging that he will change which I know it's not possible. He's a very caring guy though cuz he has his good aspect but the bad part spoilt everything...

Please I need your advice on how to get rid of him finally cuz I'm still a small girl and I'm fed up with this toxic relationship... ignore my blunders pls and sorry for the long post

How old are you?

you have said it by yourself na
I really love him
babe Bleep off
u don't need an advice.

23yrs old

tunize:
How old are you?

Sounds scary. Do your parents know about the beatings? I wonder what they must be thinking when they see you with bruises.
Your BF sounds dangerous, I'm not convinced he'll be that easy to get rid of but you can try changing your number & relocating, to get away from him. You should have never forgiven him for beating you up, that's like giving him permission to do it again. I'm so sorry you're going through this. Good luck, you're going to need it.

Set yourself free, please.

Make up your mind that by you want to leave him first. Stop picking his calls and try to avoid any contact with him.

Victoria234:
23yrs old

Well, at 23 u ought to know wat u want out of life. One funny but realistic thing about ur kind of person and ur relationship is that even if everybody on nairaland tells u to quit ur relationship u still might not take the advice, by this i mean the true desire to end it lies on you. But note a woman beater is a woman beater and i guess it starts from dating relationship into marriage.
Ask urself sincerely howfar ar u willing to go. At 23, i feel u have other positive tins to chase.

I've told him I'm not interested anymore but he never stops calling and begging that he will change which I know it's not possible. He's a very caring guy though cuz he has his good aspect but the bad part spoilt everything...

This is just sad.

It's obvious his psychological influence on you is simply deep rooted. And as long as you keep lingering on that possibility that he'll change one day, you'll NEVER be able to quit and break free.

You need to accept reality.

1. He'll NEVER change.
2. He DOESN'T love you.

Tell that to yourself and believe it.
Only then can you break the mental bondage.

Take active steps like blocking him on all social media and cutting off contact. Accept and seek for support from someone you trust.

I didn't read your writeup but I know you can't leave him.. Most of y'all derive pleasure from pain....

One fateful evening I slapped my girl just once was the evening she gave me the best sex of my life..

Female's nature is all about pains and tears...

Sex pains them
Childbirth pains them
Mesturation pains

The more pain you make them feel the more they love you

Nonsense. If anybody should come here and bash the guy ehn,that person will have me to curtail with.
The OP is a cheat and she deserves a cheat.

She is one of those ladies that jumps from one man to another
One of those ladies that rejects the good guys calling them all sorts of names and after two months they open thread on Nairaland calling men names.

How do you advise 2 people who cheated on themselves and forgave each other, then they fought and broke up and dated other partners for months then came back and abuse each other and begged themselves and were forgiven.
Their own madness don enter market

Quit and move on, there is no love in brutality..it's only a foolish soul, will see danger ahead and still move on, saying I believe I can't die. There is danger in loving who doesn't trust you. Dump him, but some foolish girls will still believe he will change and if ur next boyfriend is too cool, u will see her cheating with her ex..all over again.

Now take this drastic decision, block him, change ur sim and move on, be bold to tell him whenever u meet him anywhere that u ain't interested any longer, its ur life, he is the stranger that claims love which u can't see, gifts can blind u but characters are like smokes, it can't hide.

internationalman:
I didn't read your writeup but I know you can't leave him.. Most of y'all derive pleasure from pain....

One fateful evening I slapped my girl just once was the evening she gave me the best sex of my life..

Female's nature is all about pains and tears...

Sex pains them
Childbirth pains them
Mesturation pains

The more pain you make them feel the more they love you

Are you Okay? Stop this nonsense generalisation. I know females that left abusive relationships cos the guys attended to hit or slap them.
So, stop this nonsense generalisation.
Or, do you say guys like being burnt to death or likes going to prison that's why most of them like committing crimes.
The way you guys tend to use one or two cases to generalise on females is something else.

Victoria234:
Hello Nairalanders
I've come to seek advice from y'all and I know I'm in the right forum..I'm an active user here but I opened another account just to hide my identity.

My bf and I met 4yrs ago, before we met I was in an unserious relationship then but I decided to date my bf cuz he was all over me, we had our first fight when he accused me of snapping with a guy closely and I even posted it on Facebook which led to our first break up, then I left him for another guy whom I dated for some months and he also dated another girl during that period too..he never stopped calling throughout that period and even threatened the guy I was dating then to leave me for him,I never really loved the guy I was dating then so it was so easy for me to let go of him then we came back again which I regretted cuz my bf never gave me peace of mind after then, from one accusations to another, always accusing me of cheating, attimes he will wake up and send series of insults to me on Whatsapp, I will cry and later he will beg, whenever he does something he will always beg afterwards and won't care about how I feel, always nagging and he's so hottempered...So 2yrs back we both cheated, and he was even the first person that cheated, the girl he was cheating with called me started threatening me,but I kept mute,then I also cheated...he came to my place one day and he saw the picture of the guy and I on my phone that was when trouble started, he beat me and did lots of things to me,
The next day he begged me and we forgave each other, and that was the beginning of another trouble, he always accused me of cheating everytime and he ends up beating me and leaving me with scars, after he will beg me again, if a strange number calls me he will say I'm cheating on him, if I start counting the times he beat me,is up to 7times and will end up begging everytime that's whenever he remembers how I cheated he gets angry and beats me..He later apologized for beating me but never stops nagging, I really love him that's why I've waited this long.

Whenever I leave for travel he's always accusing me of cheating, he so insecure, he Knows all my phone contacts and whenever he sees new contacts he will start shouting on top of his voice and starts nagging saying horrible things, he never stops checking my phone and whenever I see him after any fight he will come begging then I always end up forgiving him...I really love him but I don't think I can continue anymore because if I end up with him he might kill me last last, cuz of his temper... I've told him I'm not interested anymore but he never stops calling and begging that he will change which I know it's not possible. He's a very caring guy though cuz he has his good aspect but the bad part spoilt everything...

Please I need your advice on how to get rid of him finally cuz I'm still a small girl and I'm fed up with this toxic relationship... ignore my blunders pls and sorry for the long post

You sound so stupid.
He keeps manipulating your dumb ass and your dumb brain can't decipher love and manipulation. At 23, you aren't any younger to be this foolish.

Dande55:

You sound so stupid.
He keeps manipulating your dumb ass and your dumb brain can't decipher love and manipulation. At 23, you aren't any younger to be this foolish.

She asked for advice,not insults.

This OP na cheat.
You just deh jump around

Women love guys that treat them badly and beat them up , u see how she is saying, i love him! , that is what women deserve , no mater the amount of advice u give her she love the guy more than the way the guy love her, she will return to the guy , assuming the guy is quiet she will be taking the guy for granted and calling him mumu .

Dande55:

Are you Okay? Stop this nonsense generalisation. I know females that left abusive relationships cos the guys attended to hit or slap them.
So, stop this nonsense generalisation.
Or, do you say guys like being burnt to death or likes going to prison that's why most of them like committing crimes.
The way you guys tend to use one or two cases to generalise on females is something else.

as a statistician u don't wait for the whole population, u use few out of the population to make generalisation.

internationalman:
I didn't read your writeup but I know you can't leave him.. Most of y'all derive pleasure from pain....

One fateful evening I slapped my girl just once was the evening she gave me the best sex of my life..

Female's nature is all about pains and tears...

Sex pains them
Childbirth pains them
Mesturation pains

The more pain you make them feel the more they love you

bros u are right , if u don't give them pain they will insult u and also call u mumu untop the insult.

Birds of same feathers.
Do me I do you thingy.
Las Las e go be sweet n soured memories.
All the best.

Do not tolerate domestic violence under whatever guise!

XhosaNostra:
Sounds scary. Do your parents know about the beatings? I wonder what they must be thinking when they see you with bruises.
Your BF sounds dangerous, I'm not convinced he'll be that easy to get rid of but you can try changing your number & relocating, to get away from him. You should have never forgiven him for beating you up, that's like giving him permission to do it again. I'm so sorry you're going through this. Good luck, you're going to need it.

I think she should go quiet on him.....he will later understand.......but that girl is really in love with that monster and she can fall back on her words....