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I Was A Husband: My Experience - Family (22) - Nairaland

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Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by Simbrixton(m): 3:37pm On May 14, 2020
Ybaby:


No body God created is ugly. The only ugly being here is you ..... internally you have absorbed darkness and I pray for you today that the light will take over your inside and bring down the wall of Jericho that is making your brain malfunction
elo lo ni gan ton kigbe

3 Likes

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by sweettease(f): 3:38pm On May 14, 2020
tunmiluabi:


Glorious! Thanks. In my marriage I was the one deprived of affection and everything that comes with being married. I never for once looked else where and never discussed with anyone except now on this forum. I have always known that my condition was not permanent. I and believed that I was going rewrite my own story. All I wanted was a go at an opportunity and for her to stand by me and which never came. But when it finally came, the deed has been done. Forgiveness is grace, I have done that already. I swear I have nothing against her. To be honest, she doesn't even know that I have a job. She only knows I am not dead. She has called to let me know that I should work hard to help raise my kid. I am sure she is surprised, I send money to her account on a monthly basis for our kid's upkeep. There is no need for me to brag to her about my current status. If she finally knows, it will great for her. I believe the greatest gift in life is not just knowledge or wisdom but grace to believe, believe, and believe again. At the moment, I have not taken a decision on what next line of action is but what I do know is that she is not in any of the my plans. At the moment I am concentrating on re-certifications that I have not done in years. I will update you guy as LIFE gives me more "feedbacks".
From the first part of your story, I had this gut feeling you were going to come out better. You sound so wise and patient. I pray you find happiness wherever it is. However, It is not so good that you had to go through this all alone with no outlet for such intense emotions. You need a family or friend that can be there even if it is just to listen but be sure to choose someone with a good heart like yours because it will be sad if someone with your kind of heart gets poisoned with malice and revenge because of your choice of confidant. The venting done here was a good idea. You deserve to be happy, whether with her or someone else so dont deprive yourself of family and what it represents. I hope you heal soon and move on, cause not healing means you're giving her more control to negatively affect you, I do believe you're on your way to happiness because you forgave her. I'm really glad you've forgiven her, what people dont realize is that forgiveness is as much for those that give it as it is for those that recieve it. This is the beginning of your success story. Good luck in the future.

3 Likes

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by OriOko88(m): 3:38pm On May 14, 2020
Ybaby:


Poor man rant.

I made a post that I love being submissive but will never be submissive to an infidel

Do you want to be feed by a woman and still have ger submit to you??

You are her son she will not submit... she will just yimu when you bring your ideas? Why ? Because you are worse than an infidel

You're so myopic. No body is arguing about men not providing. Real men provide for their family. But in a situation where a man is providing 100% of d family needs, then the woman has no say in d family affair except to cook,give birth and take care of home. Guess y you're full time housewife, hence your one-sided argument. Lo sun

3 Likes

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by joyandfaith: 3:38pm On May 14, 2020
tunmiluabi:


Life is strange... Turning my child against me is not an an issue for me. What I do believe is that any act of betrayal will always repeat itself no matter how hidden it might. I have seen it and I know it. The truth is that, even if my child does not see me as father in the future... I will die a happy man knowing that I had the strength to walk away.

WORDS

1 Like

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by Liposure: 3:38pm On May 14, 2020
This marriage thingy is frightening me oh

1 Like

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by babs77: 3:38pm On May 14, 2020
Pathetic story, that's life for u my brother move on with ur life
Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by omoyankee3(m): 3:38pm On May 14, 2020
tunmiluabi:




Yes, you are correct... up to date I cant tell what happened.



I can tell you what happened. She lost respect for you at a point. Simple. Every other issue stemmed from that.

You were in an physically and emotionally abusive relationship.

What happened to you is not uncommon, however men keep it to themselves and tell nobody about it. It's good that you have forgiven her and also good that you wrote about it and started this thread, it helps with the healing process.

However, you must take the next leap and start learning to love again.
Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by Ybaby: 3:39pm On May 14, 2020
OriOko88:


You're so myopic. No body is arguing about men not providing. Real men provide for their family. But in a situation where a man is providing 100% of d family needs, then the woman has no say in d family affair except to cook,give birth and take care of home. Guess y you're full time housewife, hence your one-sided argument. Lo sun
Infidel

2 Likes

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by CaseSensitive(m): 3:40pm On May 14, 2020
You sir, are a strong man. Women are fundamentally programmed to depend on men for their psychological, and in a lot of cases financial needs as well. If the table were to be turned and it happened that it was her that lost her job, you as a man wouldn't bat an eyelid because at the end of the day, the responsibility to uphold your marriage is mainly on you. It's unsurprising that in a marriage, when the man loses his job, the wife will glaringly turn her back on a "what's mine is yours" approach but does that make them a bad wife? maybe, maybe not. I think that depends on individual perspective. However, I would draw a line on the moment a woman ventures in an extra marital affair while the husband is trying everything to keep the family together, nothing shreds a man's confidence than that. You don't owe anyone an explanation. Continue to be a father to your kids, live your life and at some point you will meet the woman that deserves you.
Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by EdwardRandy(m): 3:40pm On May 14, 2020
Vyolet:
Everytime a woman leaves a poor man or reacts badly to him, the man always end up having a well paying job and the woman always want to come back...
Op, you forgot to write the part where she is willing to come back and live with you in Lekki grin cheesy.

Lmao cheesy cheesy it kinda sounds funny but I'll tell u something and what I'm about to tell you happened last year. My ex gf and I lived together and last year was hell for me as I was dead broke, same as her. We quarreled and fought almost everytime because I had no money, and all my efforts to raise money to produce a movie (I'm into nollywood and u may have seen me on your tv lol) was all in vain. Out of frustration we broke up on october and I moved out of the house and went into the street while she herself who couldn't renew the rent went back to her parents house. Fast forward to today, I am currently living in a comfy apartment which doesn't entirely belong to me (I'll be honest). But rather the apartment, in lekki chevron drive, was offered to me by a record label who saw my potentials and hired me as a staff where I live with other artistes. And guess what today, I'm currently working on shooting that same movie I struggled to do last year at a cost of two million naira and all the casts and money I need for the job are on standby.
Why did I tell you this? I told you this story not because I want to prove that any man who breaks up with his wife/gf will always have a happy ending, but because I want to let you know that sometimes that woman you call your wife or gf could be the one blocking your blessings from coming to pass.

13 Likes

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by Yettttttunde(f): 3:40pm On May 14, 2020
No marriage is perfect we all have our failures.most of us stay in the marriage because of the kids even if love doesn't exist anymore.you tried Sir.it's not easy.
Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by dayleke: 3:40pm On May 14, 2020
emmaodet:


Please stop quoting that lady, she has a very wrong mentality and wrong upbringing.
We know such people, if the hubby enters turbulent time, he is finished.
All the i love you, i love you will turn to bag and she will kill the hubby.
A lot of guys should please stay away from such women, they are mobile deadly cancers

Thank you.
You saw where I apologized to her.
It was the first couple of quotes that I saw before quoting her but after I saw how her line of thinking is, I just let her be.
Each one to their own.
Thank you jare.

11 Likes

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by Nobody: 3:41pm On May 14, 2020
tunmiluabi:
My story is quite long, please run through with patience.

I married my wife about 11 years ago. By the way I am 46 years old. Before I married my wife, I was not doing well neither was my wife. She was working with a multinational company, earning an equivalent of N40,000. I had a small graphic design business after trying many times to find a good job. I looked for jobs and contracts without any respite. But At this this time, my wife's support was good and I did appreciate every bit of it. At lest we survived on the low...

As time went on, I got a job in one international corporate training company as a Statistics and Business Analysis Instructor, was earning about 90,000 naira. During the times before I got my job, we had accumulated debt and my new job provided us an opportunity to pay them up.

We decided we were going to save part of her salary every month for servicing the debt and save the rest for a rainy day. I was supposed to pay the rent and all other domestic bills, light, kids school fees etc.. Some time she helped with food/groceries. After sometime, she advised we move to a bigger apartment. We still had a daughter by then. I obliged and we did.

To cut the story short, after four years of working, the company folded up because of government policies and we were all laid off. This meant we had to prepare for the hard life ahead. It was hectic and devastating. Me being me, I took it with all sense of grace and hope things will be fine. But the more I thought about this the worse things got. One day out of curiosity I asked my wife if it would be nice to have another child and she advised it was not the best time. I understood and agreed. I then advised my wife if we could start a business and with some savings we had, maybe I could use it to enhance my former business, maybe things might be better this time. She did not show any interest. This time I discovered changes in my wife.

One day she asked me if she could use part of them money to do a course, honestly I was shocked but asked why she did not oblige to my own request. She said "its my money I can use it for whatever I want". My wife however did the course.

To cut the story short, 3 years down the line, my wife stopped having sex with me and this continued for a long time. I became like "shit in her eyes". I lost a bit of confidence though. she would wake me with insults and barrage of dirty words. Because of our child, I agreed to stay a home and try to work online and seek clients and jobs from old client. It was not bad but not promising.

Fortunately for us, my wife got a promotion and her salary was increased to about 170,000. This actually brought out the worst in my wife. Her calmness disappeared and all decorum was buried. We would quarrel everyday and not talk for weeks. She became really mean and controlled everything at home. Please note, she is not a bad woman but can't explain the reasons up till date. I was with no option but to query her sincerity as a wife and that continued for a long time. Our sex life became zero, she would tell me having sex would make her pregnant and was not ready for a second child. Her stories kept on changing and became even worse, rather than coming home she would pass by her mom and be there till late in the night before coming home.

After about 3 years of trying to get something to do, I finally got a place on the island sometime in February 2018, where I would be paid a stipend of 50,000. In addition, I would use my free time to design, print and sell business cards to small companies. The overall income was small but enough for some immediate obligations at home. But to be fair, that was the best I could get since I have not had money in a long time. Unfortunately my wages were not consistent due to challenges the company was facing. But I used the Business card printing to augment wherever possible.

Later in 2018 around September, I discovered that my wife had been having an illicit engagement. She had a male fried and I finally got to know about it and confronted her. She did not deny it, she begged and I forgave her. Anyway, I had made up my mind to forgive because of the kid and I never told anyone till date. Moreover, since we were not making love that was of course enough reason for the drastic measure, I told myself. To be sincere I had lost feeling for my wife and sex was difficult. We finally started having sex but I had little to offer her. I would pretend and even have to watch Indecency to be able to have sex with her. I was dead inside. At least my wife was still with me. That was my solace. I guess trust was broken. She however continued with her escapades. The quarrels increased and got worse. There and then name calling became our breakfast and dinner. She advised that since I would never look at her the same and bringing little or nothing to the table that I was free to go. The quarrels went on for quite some time, my wife will go very violent on me some of the times. I am marshal artist with black belt and I have great restraint - for me, fighting and going violent on her was never on the table. One day I thought there was a need to move out and I did indicated to her that I was not comfortable living with her anymore.. That wherever I am, I will see how I can take care of the kids.

She did not care and things became difficult for me. I felt maybe I could stay for sometime, It might be a difficult condition but still not impossible. This became my Achilles heels. There and then I knew my relationship had broken and irreparable. I accepted there was nothing I could, but to be patient and tried to convince myself about our situations and believed our situation was bad, but God’s willing we would overcome. The fight even got worse and became very violent and physical, I would normally just take the beating or hold her hands to avoid any injuries.

The quarrels was beginning to be in the glare of my Kids and since it was not abating, there was little I could do to change the situation. I finally made up my mind on the 19th of May 2019 to move out, but actually moved out on the 30th of May, 2019. Before then on the 26th of May, 2019, I discovered my wife was again engaging in the illicit affair. She would claim she was going to church only to be found at a different location. Honestly I can’t blame her, I blame myself and the situation that caused the demise of our once cherished marriage. At this point in time I realised I had lost and had no fight in me anymore. My kids are still very young. Everyday quarrels, lack of sincere engagement, denials upon denials and her fear of facing her “DEMON” with little chance of her understanding the consequence of her actions - I was left with no choice but to stop FIGHTING. I had no fight left in me. The ultimate decision was to leave. I did not inform her parent about the issue because I had indicated to her I did not want them to look at her differently.

God so good, I got a 500,000 Naira job through a friend in an oil company with a 3bedroon in Lekki fully paid up for 3years by the company. By the way, I am Data Analyst but never practiced for a long time. I studied Computer engineering but for a long time grace did not smile on me. I take care of my kid and I really don't hate her and I am at peace with everything. She still has her job and doing well.

Please note that she did not tell me to leave, I left on my own volition. I could not share the same bed with my wife anymore she apparently could not muster enough strength to stop all iniquities for a conversation that will help see things through. Rather she is turning to blame it on me. We have however resolved to part on a friendly note for the sake of our child.

My reason for posting this is because most us sit behind the desk and computers and do not understood the demons everyone is battling. On a bad day, the best husbands are MONSTER, while the best wives are DEVILS. When we make judgment as males or female. We should not forget about our female child/children, same goes for the male child. I don't know what my wife tells people about what happened but I really don't care and I have made up my mind never to defend myself.

Thanks for reading.

Tunmi
.

3 Likes

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by stevups(m): 3:41pm On May 14, 2020
You are a man
Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by Ybaby: 3:41pm On May 14, 2020
Parkleader:

Lol, i must say age does not come with knowledge, I must say you have been fortunate in your life and i thank God for you. Bye

If you have a problem with the bible then take it up with the bible

Infidel
Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by dayleke: 3:42pm On May 14, 2020
Simbrixton:
in modern society?

Lol.....
In the 21st century....
You too see am?

1 Like

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by Renida: 3:42pm On May 14, 2020
dayleke:


First of all, let me say I'm sorry for having quoted you in the first place. It was this one I saw first that I quoted to debunk what you said but after reading subsequent quotes, I can only say SORRY.

With this kind of warped mentality and interpretation that you are giving that verse in the bible, I can only say WOW!!!!.

"Eating out of my wife's sweat"?
"An infidel" if I can not provide for the family?
This is the 21st century for crying out loud.
A wife/husband that you both said "in sickness, in health till death do you part"?
So pulling resources together as a family is now an abomination?
Like I said before, what works for you may not work for someone else but do not put the other person down or say their way is wrong.
You live in an environment in which you wanna have a better life for you and your family and you find out pulling all resources together by both of you can make you accomplish that, you call that eating out of the wife's sweat?
Just check this out.
Wife works dayshift, husband works night shift.
Husband gets the kids ready for school in the morning while wife gets ready for work.
Husband takes the kids to school and is home when they come back. Assist the kids with homework and cook for the family before wife comes back from work.(Since he is home, why will d wife who's been working all day will come and start cooking again?). Kids attend public schools cos you pay taxes and they are good schools too.
Husband goes to work for his own shift.
Household chores are shared as need arises.
All bills are paid from a common purse. Everyone is happy. So which one be INFIDEL there now?
If wife's medical insurance plan is better than the hubby's, all family members are put on the insurance including the "infidel".
My sister, if you find yourself in an environment whereby you have to do the right thing to survive and enjoy your life to the fullest, you have to do it.
God bless you and say you wanna do it by yourself and not be an "infidel", na "dead infidel" you go be sef.
In marriage, love and understanding is not enough, good financial planning is needed too.

I wonder what you will say to a man who has been shouldering everything for his family for years and suddenly have a debilitating illness like a stroke or something and can not do so anymore. Should the wife not work and take over the running of the family affairs?
Or she should just go and find another man to take care of her?

Like I said in my first quote, "God bless your family" but please do not use your own yardstick for other marriages out there and please also stop quoting that verse.

Shalom.



God bless you

2 Likes

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by Simbrixton(m): 3:42pm On May 14, 2020
dayleke:


Lol.....
In the 21st century....
You too see am?
dat lady get problem

2 Likes

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by emmaodet: 3:43pm On May 14, 2020
dayleke:


Thank you.
You saw where I apologized to her.
It was the first couple of quotes that I saw before quoting her but after I saw how her line of thinking is, I just let her be.
Each one to their own.
Thank you jare.

Uwc brother

2 Likes

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by Nobody: 3:45pm On May 14, 2020
Okoto meow meow... Weak men everywhere, now that you've shared this lies, what do you want us to do? Feel sorry for you? Weakling! Tueh!

1 Like

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by delpee(f): 3:45pm On May 14, 2020
tunmiluabi:


Glorious! Thanks. In my marriage I was the one deprived of affection and everything that comes with being married. I never for once looked else where and never discussed with anyone except now on this forum. I have always known that my condition was not permanent. I and believed that I was going rewrite my own story. All I wanted was a go at an opportunity and for her to stand by me and which never came. But when it finally came, the deed has been done. Forgiveness is grace, I have done that already. I swear I have nothing against her. To be honest, she doesn't even know that I have a job. She only knows I am not dead. She has called to let me know that I should work hard to help raise my kid. I am sure she is surprised, I send money to her account on a monthly basis for our kid's upkeep. There is no need for me to brag to her about my current status. If she finally knows, it will great for her. I believe the greatest gift in life is not just knowledge or wisdom but grace to believe, believe, and believe again. At the moment, I have not taken a decision on what next line of action is but what I do know is that she is not in any of the my plans. At the moment I am concentrating on re-certifications that I have not done in years. I will update you guy as LIFE gives me more "feedbacks".


Congrats on the new job. A real blessing after your years of hustling patiently. May God strengthen and empower you more to do that which is necessary for your child and to live a better life. It's wise to concentrate on your certifications for now. May you never go back to the tough days.

You're wise and mature to have forgiven your wife. She probably has a different angle to the story but in all, it's better to move on once you're very sure that there'll be no going back. I pray that you find love again and live a peaceful, happy life thereafter.
Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by afecgivers: 3:45pm On May 14, 2020
God has used the 500k job to compensate you for the lost. But I don't believe you 100% until I hear from your ex wife.

1 Like

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by biggy26: 3:46pm On May 14, 2020
Houseofglam7:
Marriage is truly overrated undecided
It's not, it's an institution from God. If you are good, you are good and vice versa. Just ask the one that instituted it to guide you, cos no human is perfect, but people still have really good marriages.
Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by dayleke: 3:47pm On May 14, 2020
Simbrixton:
dere are many poor and struggling igbo families the truth is modern society means men and women have very equal opportunities unlike previous human societies

See mentality......
In this day and age.....
She has a role model tho....

1 Like

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by tonapuck: 3:47pm On May 14, 2020
jcross19:
I will marry again when we reach heaven we talk about it. you can marry again if you divorce on account of adultery but if not you can sperate and remain single. don't misquote the bible. to be frank this is where Christianity get it wrong marriage should not be do or die affair, if Jesus or the writer of that marriage stories are concerned about do or die affair in marriage but overlooked slavery that's so pathetic and inhumanity.

Your so on point, many people fail to read and understand this part of the Bible. hence they misqoute it.
Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by Beatswim: 3:47pm On May 14, 2020
tunmiluabi:
My story is quite long, please run through with patience.

I married my wife about 11 years ago. By the way I am 46 years old. Before I married my wife, I was not doing well neither was my wife. She was working with a multinational company, earning an equivalent of N40,000. I had a small graphic design business after trying many times to find a good job. I looked for jobs and contracts without any respite. But At this this time, my wife's support was good and I did appreciate every bit of it. At lest we survived on the low...

As time went on, I got a job in one international corporate training company as a Statistics and Business Analysis Instructor, was earning about 90,000 naira. During the times before I got my job, we had accumulated debt and my new job provided us an opportunity to pay them up.

We decided we were going to save part of her salary every month for servicing the debt and save the rest for a rainy day. I was supposed to pay the rent and all other domestic bills, light, kids school fees etc.. Some time she helped with food/groceries. After sometime, she advised we move to a bigger apartment. We still had a daughter by then. I obliged and we did.

To cut the story short, after four years of working, the company folded up because of government policies and we were all laid off. This meant we had to prepare for the hard life ahead. It was hectic and devastating. Me being me, I took it with all sense of grace and hope things will be fine. But the more I thought about this the worse things got. One day out of curiosity I asked my wife if it would be nice to have another child and she advised it was not the best time. I understood and agreed. I then advised my wife if we could start a business and with some savings we had, maybe I could use it to enhance my former business, maybe things might be better this time. She did not show any interest. This time I discovered changes in my wife.

One day she asked me if she could use part of them money to do a course, honestly I was shocked but asked why she did not oblige to my own request. She said "its my money I can use it for whatever I want". My wife however did the course.

To cut the story short, 3 years down the line, my wife stopped having sex with me and this continued for a long time. I became like "shit in her eyes". I lost a bit of confidence though. she would wake me with insults and barrage of dirty words. Because of our child, I agreed to stay a home and try to work online and seek clients and jobs from old client. It was not bad but not promising.

Fortunately for us, my wife got a promotion and her salary was increased to about 170,000. This actually brought out the worst in my wife. Her calmness disappeared and all decorum was buried. We would quarrel everyday and not talk for weeks. She became really mean and controlled everything at home. Please note, she is not a bad woman but can't explain the reasons up till date. I was with no option but to query her sincerity as a wife and that continued for a long time. Our sex life became zero, she would tell me having sex would make her pregnant and was not ready for a second child. Her stories kept on changing and became even worse, rather than coming home she would pass by her mom and be there till late in the night before coming home.

After about 3 years of trying to get something to do, I finally got a place on the island sometime in February 2018, where I would be paid a stipend of 50,000. In addition, I would use my free time to design, print and sell business cards to small companies. The overall income was small but enough for some immediate obligations at home. But to be fair, that was the best I could get since I have not had money in a long time. Unfortunately my wages were not consistent due to challenges the company was facing. But I used the Business card printing to augment wherever possible.

Later in 2018 around September, I discovered that my wife had been having an illicit engagement. She had a male fried and I finally got to know about it and confronted her. She did not deny it, she begged and I forgave her. Anyway, I had made up my mind to forgive because of the kid and I never told anyone till date. Moreover, since we were not making love that was of course enough reason for the drastic measure, I told myself. To be sincere I had lost feeling for my wife and sex was difficult. We finally started having sex but I had little to offer her. I would pretend and even have to watch Indecency to be able to have sex with her. I was dead inside. At least my wife was still with me. That was my solace. I guess trust was broken. She however continued with her escapades. The quarrels increased and got worse. There and then name calling became our breakfast and dinner. She advised that since I would never look at her the same and bringing little or nothing to the table that I was free to go. The quarrels went on for quite some time, my wife will go very violent on me some of the times. I am marshal artist with black belt and I have great restraint - for me, fighting and going violent on her was never on the table. One day I thought there was a need to move out and I did indicated to her that I was not comfortable living with her anymore.. That wherever I am, I will see how I can take care of the kids.

She did not care and things became difficult for me. I felt maybe I could stay for sometime, It might be a difficult condition but still not impossible. This became my Achilles heels. There and then I knew my relationship had broken and irreparable. I accepted there was nothing I could, but to be patient and tried to convince myself about our situations and believed our situation was bad, but God’s willing we would overcome. The fight even got worse and became very violent and physical, I would normally just take the beating or hold her hands to avoid any injuries.

The quarrels was beginning to be in the glare of my Kids and since it was not abating, there was little I could do to change the situation. I finally made up my mind on the 19th of May 2019 to move out, but actually moved out on the 30th of May, 2019. Before then on the 26th of May, 2019, I discovered my wife was again engaging in the illicit affair. She would claim she was going to church only to be found at a different location. Honestly I can’t blame her, I blame myself and the situation that caused the demise of our once cherished marriage. At this point in time I realised I had lost and had no fight in me anymore. My kids are still very young. Everyday quarrels, lack of sincere engagement, denials upon denials and her fear of facing her “DEMON” with little chance of her understanding the consequence of her actions - I was left with no choice but to stop FIGHTING. I had no fight left in me. The ultimate decision was to leave. I did not inform her parent about the issue because I had indicated to her I did not want them to look at her differently.

God so good, I got a 500,000 Naira job through a friend in an oil company with a 3bedroon in Lekki fully paid up for 3years by the company. By the way, I am Data Analyst but never practiced for a long time. I studied Computer engineering but for a long time grace did not smile on me. I take care of my kid and I really don't hate her and I am at peace with everything. She still has her job and doing well.

Please note that she did not tell me to leave, I left on my own volition. I could not share the same bed with my wife anymore she apparently could not muster enough strength to stop all iniquities for a conversation that will help see things through. Rather she is turning to blame it on me. We have however resolved to part on a friendly note for the sake of our child.

My reason for posting this is because most us sit behind the desk and computers and do not understood the demons everyone is battling. On a bad day, the best husbands are MONSTER, while the best wives are DEVILS. When we make judgment as males or female. We should not forget about our female child/children, same goes for the male child. I don't know what my wife tells people about what happened but I really don't care and I have made up my mind never to defend myself.

Thanks for reading.

Tunmi
well.. As a fellow married colleague but quite younger both in age and marriage .. Smiles.. I feel this is a way tok sensitive issue to just interfere...when i read this stories about women turning into demons whenever things goes bad for their husbands... I just shake my head... All women from lagos to canada are wired that way... The Bible did not equate man with a woman.. The lord created woman to be a help-meet For a man which means the man is their lord while the woman is meant to assist the man.. But in contemporary world, feminism has thrown the scriptures to the ocean and that's the major reason men suffer this treatment from their wives whenever things goes bad for them... Do u know that abraham was down and broke and had to seek refuge in another kingdom and sarai did not cheat nor disrespect him for any reason?now back to this issue... The foundation of this marriage is actually faulty right from the onset so what can the righteous now do? I can see u love this woman wholeheartedly but its unfortunate u dint seek God's face before u married..i was once job hunting for close to 4 years without bringing anything to the table and my wife and i neva had any issuefor those years... She will serve my food with respect.. Give me all her salary to spend rightly for our upkeep for the month even though she earn less than 70K then.. We had 2kids too.. We collected loan from her salary to pay house rent.. And she does virtually everything in the house... But do u know why we had peace all through? Firstly i prayed very well before i married her... Secondly we go to church regularly which makes us to renew our hearts daily in God... Thirdly i devote close to 2hours daily for morning devotion daily.. Teaching the family and admonishing them on the word of God.. So tell me..do u think that kind of woman will cheat or become so arrogant... That was what saved me till i received a miracle of a good job and do u know that now i earn 5times her salary and she now controls me in love.. Pls return to God, he will reshapen things.. Thanks

9 Likes

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by Dpundict: 3:47pm On May 14, 2020
Vyolet:
Everytime a woman leaves a poor man or reacts badly to him, the man always end up having a well paying job and the woman always want to come back...
Op, you forgot to write the part where she is willing to come back and live with you in Lekki grin cheesy.
chai! But you know all she will come back with is revenge, anger and aggression. Be careful sir. Most return matches ends with one on death row and the other in the grave.
Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by DonroxyII: 3:48pm On May 14, 2020
New Moniker, New story , New day , everyday ...
Waiting for Tomorrow own ... Things dey happen though ....
Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by seunlayi(m): 3:48pm On May 14, 2020
SirMichael1:
Oga don't lie about how you can bear 1000 men sleeping with your wife before you met. When you didn't marry a Hoe? Fact that you're her 1001th dick doesn't stop her from adding another insignificant one to the numbers.

Oga English, 1000 men should have a better meaning to you in English language.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by GlorifiedTunde(m): 3:49pm On May 14, 2020
faithfull18:
Hmmn, this sounds like fiction. I don't support divorce but if adultery is involved with evidences, then separation is advised. Biblically, either partners are expected not to marry again but you know in our present world, we read and act upside down.

Read your Bible well, it's actually the cheating partner that cannot marry another.

I couldn't come to terms with my ignorance on this for over 30 years, I had believed both parties cannot remarry.
Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by Xisnin(m): 3:49pm On May 14, 2020
Genset:



Am Igbo. Men here take care of their family. It is the norm. All my uncles' wives are unemployed and are well catered for . They all live in the houses built by their husbands, they all drive in cars bought by their husbands. My mum used to be too till she scattered working recently but whatever she makes goes back to her. So, u see Igbo men take care of their wives. They take pride in doing that . They care about no 50/50.
If you are that assured, you wouldn't be asking for advice.
From experience, even some of those so-called unemployed women manage their husband's
business for free on a part-time basis.

Economic uncertainty is biting harder everywhere which means fewer
men are going to be married as the years go by.

It is someone who is financially-stable that will stick to some vainglorious pride.

1 Like

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