MuttleyLaff:


Thank you.

After going through the follow up tunmiluabi posted in response to your scathing lmao subtle dressing down, albeit to a certain degree a deserving one, especially if you understand the psychology or working minds of women and the divine mandate ascribed to man, man in this context is referring to the male in this partnership, I couldn't not help not feeling that tunmiluabi and his estranged wife arent believers. I dont mean organised church goers, but actual they arent God of the Bible fearing couple.

I give it to tunmiluabi, for not washing his dirty linen in public and praise him for covering up his missus' unclothedness.

My advice to tunmiluabi, is to make peace with God, seek His Face and presence. To pray for grace. We already thank God for giving tunmiluabi the power & knowledge to create and get wealth. It takes three to get married and love is tribe - the Lover, the Beloved and Love. I won't labour the last sentence because this post is meant to be short and sweet

tunmiluabi, needs to look up the life of Naval and Abigail (i.e. 1 Samuel 25:2-42) and study every detail in it and then afterwards, review how he wants to go on in life.

I admire certain qualities displayed by tunmiluabi, who comes across as a fair minded, level-headed and undomineering male person. These are traits atypical of the classic Naija man.
Of course, the hand what life dealth out to him at the beginning was mediocre and this lead to all sorts developing on both fronts. Respect for husband was lost and love for missus equally too was lost.

tunmiluabi, I am guessing you're of a Muslim background, nonetheless, I want to refer you to Genesis 2:8, 15, as it seems, you are familiar with the Bible somehow. If you can spot it, you will find that, right from the beginning what in that verse ties in with what Ybaby was advancing. Infidel, is synonymous with unbelief, a person not believing in divine purpose(s), promise(s) pronounciation(s) and power(s)

You have a divine mandate tunmiluabi, according to that Genesis 2:15 above, to dress and keep everything placed in your care, lmao. Of course, this includes your missus to enhance, beautify her, pretty her up, decorate her, improve her, grace her as in be a facilitator that will bring the best out of her and make it possible for her to reach her full potential. I read you say, she is intelligent, her distinction is a testament of this.

There is a lady called Sarai/Sarah, without her husband insisting, she voluntarily accepted and called her husband Abram/Abraham her lord. This is her, unashamedly saying this man, her husband, owns her, that he is her owner, the same manner and/or way, a landlord owns a land or house.

"²⁸So husbands must love their wives as they love their own bodies. A man who loves his wife loves himself.
²⁹No one ever hated his own body. Instead, he feeds and takes care of it, as Christ takes care of the church.
³¹That's why a man will leave his father and mother and be united with his wife, and the two will be one"
- Ephesians 5:28-29, 31

There is no equality in love, as the lover, always sees the beloved, as way up placed on a pedestal a "bae", before anyone else, so beyond comparison, while the beloved, sees the lover as without an equal

I don't want to go on as I've already overstretched my limit, but will now say, seek your Maker's face, pour out your heart to your Maker. Confess your destination to your Maker and don't give the situation oxygen. I no doubt know your heart desires will be respected. Miracles do still happens. You are an intelligent guy, who understands how to connect dots. A wise person sees things, which an ignorant person will require volumes to understand. No human heart wants love for five minutes or five years, but forever. It is well bro.

bukatyne:


Summarizing the bolded line.

God might choose our spouses however we need to work at it.

God's choosing just make challenges (not bad behaviors like adultery, abuse, extreme jealousy, stifling of potentials etc) easier to bear because you know there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Ybaby:


It has worked for me for 19 years and works for many people too.

The ones who donot adher to roles open marital thread on Nairaland

PrimadonnaO:


I agree!

CHoccolaTE:


Lmao

Men love to ignore that verse of the bible. Their favorite verse is the one telling women to submit.

They also ignore the verse that talks about mutual submission in christianity.

Obingene:
Hian!!
Cold shivers ran down my spines as I read this.
I'm so not enthusiastic about marriage anymore.

Prymestrr:
Call me a sissy if you wish but I've a strong prejudice for marriage and hope to avoid it throughout my life Godwilling.
My focus in life now is my self development and being a good father to my greatest achievement in life; my son. With him I am content. No more kids and definitely no wife if I can help it

Ybaby:


Those men are myopic. That is like a woman disrespecting a man because she bore the child.

Each party brings a certain resource(s) to the table and they are equal but different.

It is only an silly man that will disrespect his wife because he pays Bill's.

In saner climes the wealth is shared into half when dissolving the marriage - you know why? Becos if the man had to baby sit and nurture he will not have so much wealth and much more.

What a woman brings to the table is intangible eg peace, love, dinner time, family together time, spiritual time and when you force her to concentrate on the tangible guess what she can no longer bring the intangible.... so peace is the first to fly out then dinner time follows, picnic and family togetherness is gone.

She hates the man for it.

A woman must have her own money, own her own business or job but if her boss slaps her butt - a catered for woman will slap him back right away but if she is the bill player she takes it and becomes his girlfriend sef then the man comes on NL and says he is being cheated on.

We discuss the effect but the root is because she needs to make ends meet. A married woman should not be desperate to make ends meet. Put her in that situation and .. we have threads where seemingly kind wife turns to Dracula.

Leave your wives money for her. She does not have the capacity to feed a grown man, cloth him and shelter and it does not matter how much money she has.... she does not have the emotional capacity to do this and still see the man as her crown... he becomes her bathroom slippers and NO MAN except shameless men like @emmaodet can take the disrespectful eyeing of a woman who is feeding them. If you are feeding your wife and she eyes you.... you can look away and spank her during runtime but if she is paying your Bill's. It goes right into the soul.

This is my take.

Sunshyne200:


Your previous comments and this is so instructive, might be from a females angle, but it's entirely the truth.

Pardon me; are you married, single or taken?

Ybaby:


Infidel

PrimadonnaO:


God doesn’t choose our spouses.

Ybaby:
Infidels and epistle 6 and 7
They will write a whole novel [s]so they will not pay thier children school fees or shelter thier family[/s]
E ku iranu

jaxxy:


The beginning of it all and ur marital problems and also ur wife’s infidelity was when she wanted to go on a course and advance herself.

I must immediately tell u ladies have a ridiculous weakness and behavior, they are drawn to better attention and living even if it is most irresponsible, once they start to advance especially by their own efforts or thru sm outsider or frnds they begin to become foolish, loose all sense of responsibility and commitment to their partners be it husband or bf and get drawn by the temporal attention they have started to enjoy elsewhere. Ridicule their once cherished partner who probably needs them more then than ever before. It’s quite sad.

A sorry tale and a big discouragement in taking a gal or lady serious especially the ones struggling and trying to advance. They ultimately lack character and that is a big flaw for any partner, be it wife or husband.

Obingene:
Hian!!

Cold shivers ran down my spines as I read this.

I'm so not enthusiastic about marriage anymore.

thatsleepboy1:


I was moved to tears and your story is very emotional.
OP you passed through a lot. May God guide u wella.

But be patient with women and shine your eyes. It's the next woman in your life that'll suffer for her sins.

Sunshyne200:
Your previous comments and this is so instructive, might be from a females angle, but it's entirely the truth.
Pardon me; are you married, single or taken?

Ybaby:
19 years happily married and provided for.... a kept woman

TemmyT002:
.

MuttleyLaff:
[img]https://media./images/e3544b8117d3ecbb0cb8751f1ce0ff71/tenor.gif[/img]
Trust nothing the matter, hmm?
"Mi o ro boya oka epistle nah sef", loosely translated means "I doubt she read the alleged epistle sef before commenting"

tunmiluabi:


Type error.. No... its one child...

TiglathPILESER:
Then dont think of ever having sex or exploiting sex through other means.

yaki84:

So u think God wasn't involved in his?
Wake up bro

bukatyne:


God sha gives wives to men?

Proverbs 19 vs 14: House and riches are the inheritance of fathers: and a prudent wife is from the LORD.

Prymestrr:

Trust me man. In this era, the bad outweighs the good if any

iHart:
God please help me in my marriage, I don't want to experience all these stories I read on nairaland.

MuttleyLaff:


She's married to an Igbo brother. She's Ijebu and still a learner

ajbf:

Do women want to talk about being Virtuous women to their husbands as stated in Proverbs 31: 10 --- till the end?
Marriage is not a jamboree. Both parties (the couple) need to work their ass up to provide for their family. I will advise you to read that Proverbs chapter 31 from verse 1 to the end and advise your son(s), and probably brothers.