I received a call few days ago from my elder sister that my younger sister has put to bed( she's not married). She's a graduate in her early 20's not bad looking at all. She said that they don't want to tell me as my sister was very depressed before the birth of the child -even suicidal.

She developed post-partum depression after the birth of her child.

One of the reasons being that she was not experienced in these things and the man who put her in the family way promised to marry her so he could have his way.

It was after she took in that she found out he is married.

That's when trouble started... They're more than 200km away from me and I'm quite busy with studies (though there's suspension of academic activities in school for now due to the pandemic).She said they didn't want to tell me so I don't become disorganized in school.The family is not aware I've been told.My elder sister warned me not to let her know I'm aware. But I'm kinda close to her but the question now is considering her state of mind, should I let her know I'm aware or should I continue to pretend even when we speak on phone? Pls I need your advice.

Pls try not to be judgemental. This is not made up. I'm very depressed as well.

Hmmmm ... I think you should still pretend you haven't heard anything, until you get back . But meanwhile talk her , tell her a story about a friend of yours going thru depressing ( just to make her calm ) and the advice you gave to him .. all this is just to make her calm down and feel better .

She don born be say she don born. Two of una just dey deceive una selves.

Then play along. Act like you know nothing about it. But you can discreetly push her to open up to you by letting her know she sounds gloomy like something is weighing her down/troubling her, and see if she would open up.


Your uplift or cheer would be more effective if you got her to tell you about her ordeal by herself

Definitely she will know and your family will know also ...it is a matter of when.
She did not kill anyone Dear.. She made a mistake and she was brave enough to carryon till delivery which is very commendable considering the fact that 70 % of her mate will terminate the baby.

You have to let your family know and everyone needs to be supportive to make her face the new reality and come out of her depressed state .

She is alone and needs everyone by her side .i believe you love her , this is the time you guys need to put the love to action.

Pls tell her she is my Hero and i so wish to speak to her sometimes if you don’t mind

If you tell her you are aware then what next?

Hold on till you are back because telling her you are aware doesn't change a thing, it might make her more embarrassed and may she may commit suicide before you come.

No go let your mouth leak, wait till you reach home.

Thank you

brainbox1000:
Hmmmm ... I think you should still pretend you haven't heard anything, until you get back . But meanwhile talk her , tell her a story about a friend of yours going thru depressing ( just to make her calm ) and the advice you gave to him .. all this is just to make her calm down and feel better .

Valerie247:
I received a call few days ago from my elder sister that my younger sister has put to bed( she's not married). She's a graduate in her early 20's not bad looking at all. She said that they don't want to tell me as my sister was very depressed before the birth of the child -even suicidal.

She developed post-partum depression after the birth of her child.

One of the reasons being that she was not experienced in these things and the man who put her in the family way promised to marry her so he could have his way.

It was after she took in that she found out he is married.

That's when trouble started... They're more than 200km away from me and I'm quite busy with studies (though there's suspension of academic activities in school for now due to the pandemic).She said they didn't want to tell me so I don't become disorganized in school.The family is not aware I've been told.My elder sister warned me not to let her know I'm aware. But I'm kinda close to her but the question now is considering her state of mind, should I let her know I'm aware or should I continue to pretend even when we speak on phone? Pls I need your advice.

Pls try not to be judgemental. This is not made up. I'm very depressed as well.

Poor girl don't let her know. It's better that way

Thanks

matrix199:
Then play along. Act like you know nothing about it. But you can discreetly push her to open up to you by letting her know she sounds gloomy like something is weighing her down/troubling her, and see if she would open up.


Your uplift or cheer would be more effective if you got her to tell you about her ordeal by herself

Really? Thanks dear

Miwasky:
Definitely she will know and your family will know also ...it is a matter of when.
She did not kill anyone Dear.. She made a mistake and she was brave enough to carryon till delivery which is very commendable considering the fact that 70 % of her mate will terminate the baby.

You have to let your family know and everyone needs to be supportive to make her face the new reality and come out of her depressed state .

She is alone and needs everyone by her side .i believe you love her , this is the time you guys need to put the love to action.

Pls tell her she is my Hero and i so wish to speak to her sometimes if you don’t mind

Ok

Lightangel65:


Poor girl don't let her know. It's better that way

Well to me since your elder sister told you to not to let her know that you know of her present predicament, then continue to pretend you don't know of it. As for your sister that gave birth, she should take things easy so as not to hurt herself or the baby. Also she should learn a very big lesson from this her present situation. It is not every man who tell you that he will marry you that is been sincere. Even if he intends to marry you, it shouldn't be a reason for him to impregnate you. It is always advisable to wait until all formalities are completed.

Why is she scared to tell you to tell you? Or let me put it like this, why is the whole family scared to tell you?

If it's because you will criticize her, then let her know you are happy, be genuinely happy for her on the phone, don't t criticize... That we make her happy atleast yo have her back(I said this because if anything bad happens to me, my baby brother will be the 1st to know, he got me no matter what)

If otherwise, let the pretending continue.....

That's one of the reasons I'm very sad. I thought she should know better not to get pregnant until she's married I'm really sad.

boxer022:
Well to me since your elder sister told you to not to let her know that you know of her present predicament, then continue to pretend you don't know of it. As for your sister that gave birth, she should take things easy so as not to hurt herself or the baby. Also she should learn a very big lesson from this her present situation. It is not every man who tell you that he will marry you that is been sincere. Even if he intends to marry you, it shouldn't be a reason for him to impregnate you. It is always advisable to wait until all formalities are completed.

Hold your peace

She has lots to deal with already.

I don't know why men act this way. It's just disgusting.

When she's ready to let u knw.
She will tell u

Okay thanks

Lyydia:
When she's ready to let u knw.

She will tell u

My dear I'm short of words

Bartork:
Hold your peace

She has lots to deal with already.

I don't know why men act this way. It's just disgusting.

Valerie247:
My dear I'm short of words

You lied to have you way and didn't take precautions to ensure she doesn't get messed up at it.

That's why I tell ladies if you say no, let it be no. Don't let marriage or anything else make you say yes.


Men have stone hearts.

Honestly I still can't get to terms with reality... I often hope it's a dream. She should have known better...

Bartork:


You lied to have you way and didn't take precautions to ensure she doesn't get messed up at it.

That's why I tell ladies if you say no, let it be no. Don't let marriage or anything else make you say yes.


Men have stone hearts.

Valerie247:
Honestly I still can't get to terms with reality... I often hope it's a dream. She should have known better...

It's just not fair

He has a family.

She must have fallen in love with him.

That's why we get bad labels. Some men just make us all look like.....

You should do all you can to keep her in the right shape of mind.

Just don't talk till she is �

Okay thank you

Bartork:


It's just not fair

He has a family.

She must have fallen in love with him.

That's why we get bad labels. Some men just make us all look like.....

You should do all you can to keep her in the right shape of mind.

Just don't talk till she is �

Valerie247:
That's one of the reasons I'm very sad. I thought she should know better not to get pregnant until she's married I'm really sad.

I completely understand you and how you feel on this matter, but as I said earlier she should try to calm down so as not to harm herself or the child.

Thank you so much

boxer022:


I completely understand you and how you feel on this matter, but as I said earlier she should try to calm down so as not to harm herself or the child.

Valerie247:
Thank you so much

You are most welcome.

Valerie247:
I received a call few days ago from my elder sister that my younger sister has put to bed( she's not married). She's a graduate in her early 20's not bad looking at all. She said that they don't want to tell me as my sister was very depressed before the birth of the child -even suicidal.

She developed post-partum depression after the birth of her child.

One of the reasons being that she was not experienced in these things and the man who put her in the family way promised to marry her so he could have his way.

It was after she took in that she found out he is married.

That's when trouble started... They're more than 200km away from me and I'm quite busy with studies (though there's suspension of academic activities in school for now due to the pandemic).She said they didn't want to tell me so I don't become disorganized in school.The family is not aware I've been told.My elder sister warned me not to let her know I'm aware. But I'm kinda close to her but the question now is considering her state of mind, should I let her know I'm aware or should I continue to pretend even when we speak on phone? Pls I need your advice.

Pls try not to be judgemental. This is not made up. I'm very depressed as well.

Don't be depressed at all. Nothing is new under the sun. She didnt murder anyone,she just got pregnant ,no big deal. Am happy she gave birth to the baby instead of aborting. Tell her you know and support her totally, she needs that right now.

Thank you pretty girl

prettysassygirl:

Don't be depressed at all. Nothing is new under the sun. She didnt murder anyone,she just got pregnant ,no big deal. Am happy she gave birth to the baby instead of aborting. Tell her you know and support her totally, she needs that right now.

Valerie247:
I received a call few days ago from my elder sister that my younger sister has put to bed( she's not married). She's a graduate in her early 20's not bad looking at all. She said that they don't want to tell me as my sister was very depressed before the birth of the child -even suicidal.

She developed post-partum depression after the birth of her child.

One of the reasons being that she was not experienced in these things and the man who put her in the family way promised to marry her so he could have his way.

It was after she took in that she found out he is married.

That's when trouble started... They're more than 200km away from me and I'm quite busy with studies (though there's suspension of academic activities in school for now due to the pandemic).She said they didn't want to tell me so I don't become disorganized in school.The family is not aware I've been told.My elder sister warned me not to let her know I'm aware. But I'm kinda close to her but the question now is considering her state of mind, should I let her know I'm aware or should I continue to pretend even when we speak on phone? Pls I need your advice.

Pls try not to be judgemental. This is not made up. I'm very depressed as well.

Contact her through WhatsApp. Greet her,tell her encouraging words. Don't mention her delivery. You can chat her two or three times a day,just write sweet words,let her know you and other family members love her and her praying for her. Soon she will open to you herself.
I don't know why we treat child outside wedlock as one big evil, nonsense. Children are blessings, irrespective of whether the mother is married or not. Please you should all support her financially and other wise to raise the baby.
Your sister is young and naive,many go into labor room and come out dead,she and her baby are Hale and healthy,she should be happy and grateful to God.

OP, it appears you are the most respected one in the family and your opinion matters a lot. I would advice you pay her a visit tackle the issue headlong. Don't ask much question. Don't blame. Don't compare. Don't insult. just talk, give her hope and a solid ground to march on.... And don't forget to tell her ex militant is still single.

Thank you so much but the truth is that she is very intelligent and any such 'encouraging' words may look suspicious and she might feel I've been told and it may not be too good

Greatzeus:

Contact her through WhatsApp. Greet her,tell her encouraging words. Don't mention her delivery. You can chat her two or three times a day,just write sweet words,let her know you and other family members love her and her praying for her. Soon she will open to you herself.
I don't know why we treat child outside wedlock as one big evil, nonsense. Children are blessings, irrespective of whether the mother is married or not. Please you should all support her financially and other wise to raise the baby.
Your sister is young and naive,many go into labor room and come out dead,she and her baby are Hale and healthy,she should be happy and grateful to God.

I like your post. But for the ending part lol

Exmilitant:
OP, it appears you are the most respected one in the family and your opinion matters a lot. I would advice you pay her a visit tackle the issue headlong. Don't ask much question. Don't blame. Don't compare. Don't insult. just talk, give her hope and a solid ground to march on.... And don't forget to tell her ex militant is still single.

She's got a baby and so what? That a crime?

Go help her get herself together and move on with the new life. In no time this would be the past. Life is too short to worry about unnecessary things. Enjoy life.