Greetings one and all. I'll try to make my lamentation as short as possible.

My mother accused me of stealing her 2k, but I assure you, I didn't. The money got missing on Thursday night according to her and my 13 year old brother. I won't do such a thing, because the times are hard and the pandemic is fueling this hard times. I'm not lazy, I kind of work from home, I write for opera news hub and to some extent I get money from there, currently I have 19k in my account. I have no motive of taking her money, but she insists I took it, and is currently threatening to throw me out of the house.

This is not the first time such thing has happened. When I was still in secondary school, money got missing often and she'll blame me, beat me and starve me for stealing her money, but God helped me and the culprit was found, my other brother was caught, he is 18 now and doesn't stay with us anymore. He stays with my dad. She never apologized for what she did and the scars of that emotional and physical abuse still ripples across my body. But this time I'm not sure I will forgive her if the money is found. I'm planning on leaving home and starting my life somewhere, it's hard, it might just be my naivety speaking, but I need your advice.

The only skill I have is writing and web designing, which I'm almost getting good at. I just need help and guidance. I'm a 200level student and I major in psychology. I'll be 21 by November.

Hmmm what a sad story

Let her threats always be a motivation for you to get your own apartment so you can move out.

These are one of the techniques African mothers use to ostracize the spirit of laziness in their sons. No too reason am.

God bless all mothers.

Harsher reality awaits out there.
If you want to fly, grow wings first.

You've 2 or 3 years to graduation.
Stay put, cope and get your degree.

Spread your wings & fly out during your NYSC.

Donate your mother as Covid-19 relieve fund, any woman that cannot believe her child is a nuisance to the society.

With your explanation your mum is single, she and your dad don't stay together anymore, I hope you have noticed that since your dad left your mum his life has been better, I advise you do same. A man that dwells with a toxic and bitter woman would never become great.

Find a group of trusted friends and stay with, hustle day and night, make your family proud.

Good luck.

Aboks:
Hmmm what a sad story

There's nothing sad here. It happens in most average families.

Shey no be u dey steal money why leave nah,,,if u leave dat means u re guilty,,,,infact why will a grown man like u been stayin in dsam place wit ur mum,,,just pay her 2k back nd find anoda place to enjoy ur life dear

Writing and web designing is a good skill and can yield lots of money later.

Your mother somehow doesn't believe in you. Try to let your uncle or someone she respects know about it till you're able to save enough to have your own room. Cus if you go squatting with a friend and something happens, it will be shameful to come back to ur mom's house. Going to stay with ur dad is another option though

You have a lifetime ahead of you to be thinking of forgiving her or not. But forgiving her is for your benefit, as unforgiveness is like a cancer in the heart of the unforgiver. You spend plenty resource remembering not to forgive and it slowly eats you up.

Leave and go find somewhere else to live. You will survive this and more. And read up on the psychology of unforgiveness.

vanida6:
Shey no be u dey steal money why leave nah,,,if u leave dat means u re guilty,,,,infact why will a grown man like u been stayin in dsam place wit ur mum,,,just pay her 2k back nd find anoda place to enjoy ur life dear

21 is not too old to stay with his parent

After they'll say guys are bashing girls too much on this forum. Is there sense in what this one said now?

Davash222:

There's nothing sad here. It happens in most average families.

If he still eats his mother's food at age 20 may be that's why she is complaining, I she doesn't even trust him

Davash222:

There's nothing sad here. It happens in most average families.

bros I don't know you but I must say this you must be a really wicked person...to think this happens so because it happens everywhere it's not sad...do you even know if this guy might start suffering emotional distress,low self esteem etc because of this issue...??

Aboks:


If he still eats his mother's food at age 20 may be that's why she is complaining, I she doesn't even trust him

but how many people are independent at age 20

vanida6:
Shey no be u dey steal money why leave nah,,,if u leave dat means u re guilty,,,,infact why will a grown man like u been stayin in dsam place wit ur mum,,,just pay her 2k back nd find anoda place to enjoy ur life dear

You think it's easy for a 20year-old to live on his own in this country, it's like you are not from Nigeria. Most under 22years old that do not stay with their parents are mostly yahoo boys and drug addicts.

Humble ur self .

vanida6:
Shey no be u dey steal money why leave nah,,,if u leave dat means u re guilty,,,,infact why will a grown man like u been stayin in dsam place wit ur mum,,,just pay her 2k back nd find anoda place to enjoy ur life dear

my sister...were u independent at 21??

Davash222:

These are one of the techniques African mothers use to ostracize the spirit of laziness in their sons. No too reason am.

You call physical abuse & wrongful accusations techniques by AFRICAN MOTHERS to ostracize laziness??

Guy, don't try to normalize and generalize abuse with your toxic view against women. Just stfu.

BigJoe19:
You think it's easy for a 20year-old to live on his own on in this country, it's like you are not from Nigeria. Most under 22years old that do not stay with their parents are mostly yahoo boys and drug addicts.

I left my parents house at 28 , they said all sorts but I humbled myself , to save, I got a stable job at 25 , b4 I left the house I bought television , bed , fridge n and others before I rented a small place n took my things, life is all about planing . Don’t let ur emotions control you .

You are a thief!!!!

You stole your mum's 2k and you still had the guts to post it here.
Why did you play Aja ere with it, stop paying visual with your mum's hard-earned money.

African parents are outrageous
Dunnoh why

Kylekent59:


You are a thief!!!!

You stole your mum's 2k and you still had the guts to post it here.
Why did you play Aja ere with it, stop paying visual with your mum's hard-earned money.

sharrrup if you don't know what to say
Hypocrite

Theundertaker:
I left my parents house at 28 , they said all sorts but I humbled myself , to save, I got a stable job at 25 , b4 I left the house I bought television , bed , fridge n and others before I rented a small place n took my things, life is all about planing . Don’t let ur emotions control you .

I don't think your quote is meant for me, maybe the OP. In Nigeria we have many 25years old that still stay with their parents.
It's not easy to be a man

KenBen217:

but how many people are independent at age 20

At age 19 I was on my own it depends on the guy I can't remember last when my parents bought clothes for me

The only thing they for me was when they sent me to skill acquisition program

NATIONAL DIRECTORATE OF EMPLOYMENT

don't leave the house and u know no conditions is permanent, so try and be self reliant that is, finish ur school. This is where God want u for now and try and forgive her. I tell u when her better side come tomorrow u will like her more. ur Mom is ur Mom hunnnnm OK sorry and don't be offended

Aboks:


At age 19 I was on my own it depends on the guy I can't remember last when my parents bought clothes for me

So what if you were alone at 19, must everyone move at the same pace in life? Some people moved at 23, some 16.
This OP is in the university and doesn't work, except for his online income he should not have any money.

Oluromantic:

21 is not too old to stay with his parent

After they'll say guys are bashing girls too much on this forum. Is there sense in what this one said now?

No single sense at all

Ningen:


You call physical abuse & wrongful accusations techniques by AFRICAN MOTHERS to ostracize laziness??

Guy, don't try to normalize and generalize abuse with your toxic view against women. Just stfu.

Oya, go and help him kill his mum.

BigJoe19:
I don't think your quote is meant for me, maybe the OP. In Nigeria we have many 25years old that still stay with their parents.
It's not easy to be a man

it’s for u base on ur comment giving a deeper thought to tha age thing and the Op also

BigJoe19:
So what if you were alone at 19, must everyone move at the same pace in life? Some people moved at 23, some 16.
This OP is in the university and doesn't work, except for his online income he should not have any money.

The bottom line is he still depends on his mother

Aboks:


The bottom line is he still depends on his mother

and so what ? This country is hard !! Except u are into fraud or prostitution

Samicine, be patient. No parent is perfect and some have them even worse than you. Manage the woman like that until you can stand on your feet because where do you want to go to with 19k? Is that for tfare or recharge card?

Humble yourself, swallow the crap and use it to build emotional muscle for the task ahead which will be coming up in a couple of years.

Aboks:


The bottom line is he still depends on his mother

So what would you have him do? He is in the university studying hard to plan his future, if he doesn't graduate at the right time and still depends on his parents that is when the mum can complain, for now she is only doing what a parent should do for her child.