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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My Husband's Family Is Sucking Him Dry (63688 Views)
Late Husband's Family Withholding Her Aunt's Child / Lady Laments As Late Husband's Family Members Abscond With ₦20 Million (Video) / My Married Jobless Elder Brother Is Sucking My Mum Financially. Help! (2) (3) (4)
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Re: My Husband's Family Is Sucking Him Dry by megareal: 3:23pm On May 19, 2020 |
Anni3e:You shouldn't have bothered to reply to him. His head is not screwed on right. That's the average Nigerian sibling for you, believing every woman is coming to 'separate' their brother from them if you try to curtail some of their excesses.. They never mean well for their brother. Their intent is only to suck him dry and discard him. Whatever you do, buy that land and ensure it is in a name no one will drag it with you. Cut down your expenses and place more demands. Let some things like electricity bills and school fees remain unattended to and give the school his direct line to call and harass him when he fails to pay. You took on too much load and he doesn't feel the heat coming from his own home. Save as much as you can because you are OYO as things stand right now. I have witnessed this countless times, after sacrificing all you have, his people will still try to lay claim to the glory of your labor in the future. 7 Likes |
Re: My Husband's Family Is Sucking Him Dry by GeneralShepherd(m): 3:23pm On May 19, 2020 |
elektra: What is wrong in having a sense of duty towards family? If not for my sister, I will not be where I am today, now helping others. My wife is a first born and we also support her family. That is what family is, we take care of each other. |
Re: My Husband's Family Is Sucking Him Dry by gees101(m): 3:23pm On May 19, 2020 |
menix:its the proceeds from the investments that will take care of your brothers kid |
Re: My Husband's Family Is Sucking Him Dry by Nobody: 3:23pm On May 19, 2020 |
EVILFOREST: |
Re: My Husband's Family Is Sucking Him Dry by hennylove(f): 3:24pm On May 19, 2020 |
My story is similar to yours. The truth is when you start assisting them financially they leave everything to you and concentrate on their family in my own case he is the last born but likes to break his neck for his family. Some times it's even my money that he sends to them while he is the only tenant among them. This year I decided to start investing and saving for myself. Let him do most of those things and assist only when you can. Do you know that it got to a point that he doesn't know our children's school fees. I just had to withdraw and let him do his thing. 4 Likes |
Re: My Husband's Family Is Sucking Him Dry by Prenonjebose: 3:25pm On May 19, 2020 |
Yabaleft:I find it surprising hearing some people doubt the possibility of a man taking care of his siblings at the expense of his immediate family. Can you imagine how the surgeon's son would be feeling now about his father 7 Likes |
Re: My Husband's Family Is Sucking Him Dry by Dybala11(m): 3:25pm On May 19, 2020 |
bukatyne:Someone like that I know came to my mind, he's a professor now and he's responsible for the upbringing and funding the education of all his siblings, man is a 50 year old now, they recently forced him to get married sef. Imagine having your first kid at 49. |
Re: My Husband's Family Is Sucking Him Dry by deavicky(m): 3:26pm On May 19, 2020 |
If he spending those money on ur family nobody will hear it. 1 Like |
Re: My Husband's Family Is Sucking Him Dry by aimalohi: 3:26pm On May 19, 2020 |
In addition to d above advice, start praying for him so that his eyes be opened to know that these are family devourers that does not wish him well. If they don’t hv means of lively hood advice him to see how he can assist with a business as u continue praying for him. Also don’t always show it to him that those ppl want to devour him. Instead let him realize that by himself. He shld be in d picture of the land but don’t but it in his name oo... if he is going to feel bad buy it in your child’s name. God bless u |
Re: My Husband's Family Is Sucking Him Dry by Asour: 3:26pm On May 19, 2020 |
bukatyne: Under perfectly reasonable circumstances your brief is the perfect advice anyone can get. However, Most of us most of the time behave in manners far from 'reasonable'. So people must be able to take stern steps to protect themselves from the outcome of a partner's unreasonable decisions. Excessive appeal to emotions (in Marriage or not ) would usually lead to tears. 2 Likes |
Re: My Husband's Family Is Sucking Him Dry by IfeomaOnu1: 3:27pm On May 19, 2020 |
Anni3e:I support you sis. God forbid, if anything happens to him, his family will try to claim the property. Use your name and his son or daughter as the next of kin. No sensible man will fault that as long as it is not channeled to your own family. 6 Likes |
Re: My Husband's Family Is Sucking Him Dry by Fragility6: 3:27pm On May 19, 2020 |
bukatyne:First time on diz forum a woman actually comment without sentiments. I tip my hat 2 you |
Re: My Husband's Family Is Sucking Him Dry by Karleb(m): 3:28pm On May 19, 2020 |
From the conjured story here, it's obvious you just want your husband to yourself alone forgetting he actually came from somewhere. Do you know his family's contributions to what he is today? He's only paying back his dues. Nothing wrong with that. |
Re: My Husband's Family Is Sucking Him Dry by GoodFaith: 3:28pm On May 19, 2020 |
Anni3e: Go buy the land The price of Land keep going up Use your kid name to buy the land 3 Likes |
Re: My Husband's Family Is Sucking Him Dry by Prenonjebose: 3:29pm On May 19, 2020 |
hennylove:Some men are lucky. I take care of most of the bill, and still assist her brother 1 Like |
Re: My Husband's Family Is Sucking Him Dry by Nobody: 3:30pm On May 19, 2020 |
It is obvious that some people didn’t read the post or they can’t comprehend. Op, go ahead and invest your money how you deem fit but do NOT make the mistake of including his name. God forbid an unfortunate incident, his family members will swear on their lives that the property belongs to their brother. You have tried to make him see the importance of investing. Since he refused to heed your advice, that’s on him, not you. Surely, you have a right or may be even an obligation to assist your family but doing that at the expense of your own future is setting yourself up to be in similar situation in future. 4 Likes |
Re: My Husband's Family Is Sucking Him Dry by Harmlesspill(m): 3:31pm On May 19, 2020 |
ProfAmaben:. Madam,have you thought of including his name in the land document then make him see reasons why he should develop the land there by divert all the money to the project.He will only lavish his money on his siblings if he has. |
Re: My Husband's Family Is Sucking Him Dry by Fragility6: 3:32pm On May 19, 2020 |
Anni3e:Two wrongs don't make a right o.Brute force is not d best to solve problems. Y not listen to wat dat lady is telling you. Learn to solve issues with love its for ur own good.Later ur husband might see reasons wit u and change his ways.You both know urselves sha.Do wat suits you |
Re: My Husband's Family Is Sucking Him Dry by Nobody: 3:32pm On May 19, 2020 |
Tick-tock. You’d think the house rent is 1kobo. Most women are just not worth it. Since the future of the children is so important to you, why don't you save that ”land money” for their future? If you're buying the land for the future of the family in mind, why don't you add his name to the deeds and add your children as next of kin? If that man mistakingly loses his source of income, this witch would run away with his kids asap. 1 Like |
Re: My Husband's Family Is Sucking Him Dry by Ramos16(m): 3:32pm On May 19, 2020 |
Anni3e: This my friend, is the biggest form of betrayal in any marriage, it goes hand in hand with cheating, your husband is guilty of something similar, and you are about to do the same. If any marriage should get to this point, then it's essence has been lost, and it is just two strangers living together. You claim you will not do it behind his back, but stop and think for yourself, what kind of message are you trying to send? Is there a better way to handle this? 1 Like |
Re: My Husband's Family Is Sucking Him Dry by uzumakis: 3:32pm On May 19, 2020 |
Funny enough that most female in Nigeria, and a few male could be so funny, myopic and narrow minded, that they think and believe they wiser than every other person. For the poster; you are the funny one here.. 1. you have being married for 9years, let's say you have known him for 12years top. These family you called 'leeches' have being with him more than half his life. 2. What exactly have you done for him that makes these 'leeches' less important? 3. During your marriage ceremony, who where there for you both? certainly these 'leeches' wasn't cause they no good. 4. Are these 'leeches' even part of your family? 5. Lastly ,if you happen to lost your husband now, hope the kids which are 'yours only' will remain so, and you, strong enough and capable of being both the father,m other,uncle,aunt, and grand parent. if so go ahead.. If you need advice, I suggest you make him see you,his kids are important too, let him know you all appreciate his effort,yet he could do better with you and the kids. give him instances he's let you all down and how. Start with this not with bitterness and same entitlement mindset you're accusing em of. 1 Like |
Re: My Husband's Family Is Sucking Him Dry by Horlubunmmy: 3:32pm On May 19, 2020 |
Anni3e:Exactly what's happening in my home. In fact one of his elder brother and his family are staying with us, they've milk him dry.... He paid the children school fee's in university, I don't have a say in my house again. If I ask him for money he will say " shebi I'm working "but immediately his family ask, he won't hesitate to give them. They've all turn me to enemy, some of them don't greet me. My husband is the last born, I'll buy food all of them will eat. During this lockdown, their all came with their family to stay with us, as if is festive period, he don't have any money with him then. Honesty I regret the marriage, his family comes first before me and the kids. If I talk they will tag me enemy. During the lock down to est na big problem. I pity my children then. To the extent one of them called my kid's bastard, that they don't looks like anyone in the family, but looks like omo igbo, because they looks chubby. My hubby didn't fought for his kids. In fact if I continue typing this page go full. is well!!! 5 Likes |
Re: My Husband's Family Is Sucking Him Dry by Vivuch: 3:33pm On May 19, 2020 |
Anni3e:Buy the land but don't add his name. 1 Like |
Re: My Husband's Family Is Sucking Him Dry by emmanuelewumi(m): 3:34pm On May 19, 2020 |
yettymuse: Nothing bad in assisting at the home front since is also generating income. She only needs to work on her husband, and must start saving and making investments for herself in her name |
Re: My Husband's Family Is Sucking Him Dry by CTete: 3:34pm On May 19, 2020 |
Hope you don't press Him with your family problem too. Many women never complained about giving to their own family. |
Re: My Husband's Family Is Sucking Him Dry by megareal: 3:35pm On May 19, 2020 |
kunkelhanspeter:Chai. I feel for her. It's funny that 80% of Nigerian married men can never buy a property in the wife's name, but you see a very large percentage of Nigerian wives put their husband 's name in properties bought by them despite stories like this. Begs the question, are Nigerian women morons when it comes to love, marriage and family? 8 Likes |
Re: My Husband's Family Is Sucking Him Dry by Yabaleft: 3:35pm On May 19, 2020 |
Prenonjebose: It's really sad. I did not ask how he felt about his father but I know he sends the greater part of his salary to his wife and mother in Benin. |
Re: My Husband's Family Is Sucking Him Dry by QueenMyles(f): 3:35pm On May 19, 2020 |
Op I won’t advice you to fight your husband. Apply wisdom and don’t quarrel him much. Save as much as you can, buy the land with your husbands consent and encourage him to invest in it too. My family passed through this too and today we have no house in our name after 40years of my parents toiling to cater for their extended family while their siblings were building houses and investing yet demanding from my parents every now and then. We are living in regret and there’s nothing we can do. Be wise ma and apply wisdom 5 Likes |
Re: My Husband's Family Is Sucking Him Dry by Babyforever(f): 3:36pm On May 19, 2020 |
ihutuluv:You're very stupid for say this words "His parents gave birth to and can not take care of" |
Re: My Husband's Family Is Sucking Him Dry by emmanuelewumi(m): 3:38pm On May 19, 2020 |
NoToPile: That why she should buy and build in her own name 1 Like |
Re: My Husband's Family Is Sucking Him Dry by craleonic: 3:38pm On May 19, 2020 |
Anni3e: Please do that and more to secure your kids' future. Your husband will see the result of his poor financial decisions soon, do what you can to ensure your kids don't suffer when that time comes. 1 Like |
Re: My Husband's Family Is Sucking Him Dry by Nobody: 3:40pm On May 19, 2020 |
I agree with you babe, you be got to protect your children and yourself, if possible don't tell him about the land. Cos he will tell his folks, your husband is under a spell, if he values his siblings more than you. If tmoro he dies of stress, they will blame you for his death. Too bad you ignored the warning signs when you were dating. If he is the first son its worse, dem go use am clean Belle. Better wise up, if you re not working nko? 1 Like |
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