Nnaabros:


How can YOU possibly marry him when he's not ready to marry you?

Its very possible, some shallow thinking girls use pregnancy to hook some guys that may not even love them 100% but will only marry them out of obligation

Kingarthur21:
you are welcome bro...

tiffanyfan:




Its very possible, some shallow thinking girls use pregnancy to hook some guys that may not even love them 100% but will only marry them out of obligation

be careful,ryan03 is here,he may beat you for this..

Kingarthur21:
why derail this topic?it is for men ,don't bring up counter arguments...just open your thread please

better limi

Votukpa:


You're father was supposed to teach you this:

A woman isn't supposed to contribute in the sense of what you expressed. Stop looking for a woman who will contribute economically in your home.

Men are more beautiful and complete than women because we don't need them like they need us. Behold real beauty when a man gives his wife everything she needs and he doesn't need anything from her except her devotion and cooperation.

If any man feels he needs a woman to contribute in his home then he isn't ready to marry yet.

A man who is rich in every way doesn't require riches from a woman.

He is not only '(al)ready made', he is GODREADYMADE.

Unfortunately, the yardstick you are using is wrong.
Most men are either struggling or poor and you can use the Rich yardstick as a reference.
To me, it is only an inconsiderate woman that will pile the whole financial needs of the family on a man in this modern time.
Please, we shouldn't prepare our modern women for a life of a slave who can't sustain the family in case of death or other unfortunate events that happens to the breadwinner without turning to prostitutes.
What is the usefulness of women empowerment if it is not making any impact in the life of their family.
Let us drop this archaic mentality because this is the jet age or computer age or machine age

emmaodet:


I don't think so though it is my opinion.
If men and women are to stay alone, believe me on average it benefits men more.
The fraction of women you see happy being single will be far lower to the high numbers of ladies that will be depressed because most won't be able to compete in the fierce jungle of men's world for resources.
There will be higher population of women who will struggle and be poor barring government interventions, programs and empowerment for women than men.
Forget the few or fraction of women at the top as a yardstick.
Also, how will single men feel more depressed when they can save more, travel more with no more stresses and baggages women bring along.

Your last paragraph is a lie though. Unless single men won't ever bleep women again, what is obtainable today with most unmarried folks will still be obtainable when marriage is scrapped.

Kingarthur21:
be careful,ryan03 is here,he may beat you for this..

e



He will not want to drink garri with snipper na

emmaodet:


Unfortunately, the yardstick you are using is wrong.
Most men are either struggling or poor and you can use the Rich yardstick as a reference.
To me, it is only an inconsiderate woman that will pile the whole financial needs of the family on a man in this modern time.
Please, we shouldn't prepare our modern women for a life of a slave who can't sustain the family in case of death or other unfortunate events that happens to the breadwinner without turning to prostitutes.
What is the usefulness of women empowerment if it is not making any impact in the life of their family.
Let us drop this archaic mentality because this is the jet age or computer age or machine age

I do understand where you're coming from. It's not easy anywhere, and being in Nigeria makes it harder. But I tell you if you have your priorities straight in life. Financial stability/freedom as a man is still very possible. Go to illupeju, in this our same country, Indians still run a strictly traditional form of marriage.The men are solely providers and the women do their part conscientiously.

This western approach to marriage just doesn't work, the divorce statistics says it all. Even if your wife is a working class, to find a Nigerian babe looking to do 50/50 without grudges is like searching for a needle in a haystack. And it comes along with a lot of complexities as you would be going against how both partners are physiologically and psychologically designed.

And then the children. What happens to them when two parents work? Personally, this is the main reason for me, statistics show that children that received more attention from the parents in the early years tend to do better in life generally.

Things are hard, but every man should strive to be financially sufficient to support his family.

Sixfeetbelle:


Your last paragraph is a lie though. Unless single men won't ever bleep women again, what is obtainable today with most unmarried folks will still be obtainable when marriage is scrapped.

I can't fully grab your point. Can you shed more light on it?

efosky1246:


I do understand where you're coming from. It's not easy anywhere, and being in Nigeria makes it harder. But I tell you if you have your priorities straight in life. Financial stability/freedom as a man is still very possible. Go to illupeju, in this our same country, Indians still run a strictly traditional form of marriage.The men are solely providers and the women do their part conscientiously.

This western approach to marriage just doesn't work, the divorce statistics says it all. Even if your wife is a working class, to find a Nigerian babe looking to do 50/50 without grudges is like searching for a needle in a haystack. And it comes along with a lot of complexities as you would be going against how both partners are physiologically and psychologically designed.

And then the children. What happens to them when two parents work? Personally, this is the main reason for me, statistics show that children that received more attention from the parents in the early years tend to do better in life generally.

Things are hard, but every man should strive to be financially sufficient to support his family.

Well, may God help us all and direct our paths.

emmaodet:


I can't fully grab your point. Can you shed more light on it?

You said single guys can save more, travel more and all other blahs if marriage was removed from the equation. I countered it with the assertion that single guys in present day don't actually save more or travel more cause single guys will still bleep women irrespective of marriage being at the end of the line or not. A man who can't save generally won't still save even if he's not expected to be married.

Human beings hardly change. Marriage only makes people to learn how to make sacrifices they ordinarily and selfishly wouldn't make.

Sixfeetbelle:


You said single guys can save more, travel more and all other blahs if marriage was removed from the equation. I countered it with the assertion that single guys in present day don't actually save more or travel more cause single guys will still bleep women irrespective of marriage being at the end of the line or not. A man who can't save generally won't still save even if he's not expected to be married.

Human beings hardly change. Marriage only makes people to learn how to make sacrifices they ordinarily and selfishly wouldn't make.

You are right to some extent but let's assume i do give my madam wit a kid 100k per month as upkeep. If am to turn her to a babymama, i will only give her 30k with that kid thereby saving 70k or 50k max for 2 kids thereby saving 50k which is 600k or more per year. Not to talk of miscellaneous spending on clothing her, extended money i give to my in-laws and her siblings etc. In a year, i will easily save 1m from not being married that i can easily channel to other investments or a mini vacation in kenya, egypt or south africa with change still left.
I believe more guys will save outside marriage, my opinion.

emmaodet:

You are right to some extent and let me use myself as a case study to what i posted.
I do give my madam wit a kid 100k per month as upkeep. If am to turn her to a babymama, i will only give her 30k with that kid thereby saving 70k or 50k max for 2 kids thereby saving 50k which is 600k or more per year. Not to talk of miscellaneous spending on clothing her, extended money i give to my in-laws and her siblings etc. In a year, i will easily save 1m from not being married that i can easily channel to other investments or a mini vacation in kenya, egypt or south africa with change still left.
I believe more guys will save outside marriage, my opinion.

Your savings is dependent on your personality like I pointed out. You may not save the amount you posted up there even if you have a baby mama. Besides, I don't think when it concerns your kids, that baby mama's get such low amounts. (correct me if I'm wrong).

But you're right. You will spend less if you're not married, just not as significant as you might imagine it.

Sixfeetbelle:


Your savings is dependent on your personality like I pointed out. You may not save the amount you posted up there even if you have a baby mama. Besides, I don't think when it concerns your kids, that baby mama's get such low amounts. (correct me if I'm wrong).

But you're right. You will spend less if you're not married, just not as significant as you might imagine it.

I believe she has to work too and support her kids too because being a babymama shouldn't be an excuse for not working in life, just sitting down and waiting for monthly paycheck.
If she complains too much, i will give her the option of taking the kids to my custody so that she can be free to go work or live her life while i drop them with my mama or aunt and with extra 50k to either of them them, they will be more than happy to have them.
Or last option, i take them in and hire a house maid i will be paying 25k plus feeding and accommodation to take care of them.

Sixfeetbelle:


Your savings is dependent on your personality like I pointed out. You may not save the amount you posted up there even if you have a baby mama. Besides, I don't think when it concerns your kids, that baby mama's get such low amounts. (correct me if I'm wrong).

But you're right. You will spend less if you're not married, just not as significant as you might imagine it.

Stop arguing with that fellow.

emmaodet:


I believe she has to work too and support her kids too because being a babymama shouldn't be an excuse for not working in life, just sitting down and waiting for monthly paycheck.
If she complains too much, i will give her the option of taking the kids to my custody so that she can be free to go work or live her life while i drop them with my mama or aunt and with extra 50k to either of them them, they will be more than happy to have them.
Or last option, i take them in and hire a house maid i will be paying 25k plus feeding and accommodation to take care of them.

That's not what baby mama is for. She working is for herself to take care of only her expenses, but whatever expenses that your kids needs is very dependent on you. For example, the kids can live in her house where she pays house rent and light bills, but their feeding, clothing, school affairs and fees, vacation and school trips, health issues and growth problems are all on you. So, at the end of the day, you'll still probably pay up to 70k monthly for your kids, thus only subtracting 30k that would have gone to wife were you married. Ontop that, some baby mama's get crazy and only buy expensive stuffs for your kids so the money you have to spend will increase. Which makes sense why ladies are eager to be one for rich celebrities.

If you wish to buy her off after birth, the court battle no go be here especially if you have some cash on you, which is why some pay for surrogates from the get go and avoid baby mama's entirely. But a child without a mother's presence isn't exactly healthy unless you're certain you can be both parents for your kids. But there's the catch: instead of you to be cruising with the guys, you're back at home helping your kids deal with school problems and friendship wahala

Although when you look at it, not having kids will be the best option, hence a man will have to get a vasectomy to avoid baby drama, cause man must knack and once you do, a greedy lady would be waiting to sink her claws on you if/when eventually marriage gets scrapped.

Plead:


Stop arguing with that fellow.

We are not arguing, though, just having a little discuss. Do you care to join?

Sixfeetbelle:


That's not what baby mama is for. She working is for herself to take care of only her expenses, but whatever expenses that your kids needs is very dependent on you. For example, the kids can live in her house where she pays house rent and light bills, but their feeding, clothing, school affairs and fees, vacation and school trips, health issues and growth problems are all on you. So, at the end of the day, you'll still probably pay up to 70k monthly for your kids, thus only subtracting 30k that would have gone to wife were you married. Ontop that, some baby mama's get crazy and only buy expensive stuffs for your kids so the money you have to spend will increase. Which makes sense why ladies are eager to be one for rich celebrities.

If you wish to buy her off after birth, the court battle no go be here especially if you have some cash on you, which is why some pay for surrogates from the get go and avoid baby mama's entirely. But a child without a mother's presence isn't exactly healthy unless you're certain you can be both parents for your kids. But there's the catch: instead of you to be cruising with the guys, you're back at home helping your kids deal with school problems and friendship wahala

Although when you look at it, not having kids will be the best option, hence a man will have to get a vasectomy to avoid baby drama, cause man must knack and once you do, a greedy lady would be waiting to sink her claws on you if/when eventually marriage gets scrapped.

Well, you have points.
It's well

tiffanyfan:
e



He will not want to drink garri with snipper na

i thought you will be smart enough to ask why you will be beaten for your comment, but nah, its just another one

sheDD:

Do you think the women don't know this truth.
They know it benefits them more, that is even the more reason they lose their taste in life and fun when their biological clock is ticking "late" and not yet married.
Men will leave and toil all the rest of their days just to fend for her incessant needs and that of the children. Later the man won't even taste the good from his children. More often the women spike their children aganit their father or the man dies off early even b4 he start to earn the dividends from the maturing children


Brize pls get this guy Hero on my bills

Have you seen this thread ??!

Just seeing it now...... Dicey topic which seems right or wrong depending on the angle you stand to look at it.

Michelle55:

That's not the biggest mistake huncle..
What if she's working and not supporting the home front in any way?
What if all the responsibilities still falls on you as the man despite having a working class wife?
What if she doesn't encourage nor inspires you to soar higher than you were before ?
What if she doesn't give you the maximum peace of mind you deserve as a man?
What if all she does is spend all her earnings on herself, buying the latest bags and clothes and attending high societal functions and not caring to acknowledge your presence in her life?
Trust me, there's a lot to marriage than meets the eyes.
Just ask your maker for direction when you want to settle down.
She might be working yet feels entitled to your money..
Marriage is 50/50... All hands must be on deck to ensure the smooth sailing of the homefront.

How are you doing Michelle?

brize:


Just seeing it now...... Dicey topic which seems right or wrong depending on the angle you stand to look at it.

oga from any angel you see it

The argument if that transcend from the original topic will always hold water to my cohorts view. Is a sacrosanct!!

Marriage isn't child's play. If you're not mentally prepared you'd have problems.

Both parties have to contribute,to making the home work. Both financially,and other wise
I advise all my make friends to marry a woman with a job or one with a business.

Marry a woman that can carry the home when you're at your lowest!
Marry a woman that respects you enough,and wants the best for you
One that wants you to achieve more than you already have.
One with ideas,and you can turn to anytime and you're sure she'd deliver.

Personally I feel a woman without a source of income has no business getting married(unless you and your husband agree to it)

Depending on your husband for literally everything possible isn't something I'd want to do.

I love you I love you isn't enough to sustain a marriage my own piece anyway

efosky1246:


I do understand where you're coming from. It's not easy anywhere, and being in Nigeria makes it harder. But I tell you if you have your priorities straight in life. Financial stability/freedom as a man is still very possible. Go to illupeju, in this our same country, Indians still run a strictly traditional form of marriage.The men are solely providers and the women do their part conscientiously.

This western approach to marriage just doesn't work, the divorce statistics says it all. Even if your wife is a working class, to find a Nigerian babe looking to do 50/50 without grudges is like searching for a needle in a haystack. And it comes along with a lot of complexities as you would be going against how both partners are physiologically and psychologically designed.

And then the children. What happens to them when two parents work? Personally, this is the main reason for me, statistics show that children that received more attention from the parents in the early years tend to do better in life generally.

Things are hard, but every man should strive to be financially sufficient to support his family.

That's where communication comes in before getting married, couples need to have this discussion. If the wife has to find a flexible job or start up a business, so be it.

Not in support of idle women or non- supportive women.

Responsibilities don't entirely have to be 50/50
There should be a percentage the wife can handle,based on her inflow of cash. All it takes is just understanding!!

Ryan03:
i thought you will be smart enough to ask why you will be beaten for your comment, but nah, its just another one

Another what?.....I thought the Ryan is a guy and madam pls I don't fight my fellow girls, so lets just close this.

Michelle55:

That's not the biggest mistake huncle..
What if she's working and not supporting the home front in any way?
What if all the responsibilities still falls on you as the man despite having a working class wife?
What if she doesn't encourage nor inspires you to soar higher than you were before ?
What if she doesn't give you the maximum peace of mind you deserve as a man?
What if all she does is spend all her earnings on herself, buying the latest bags and clothes and attending high societal functions and not caring to acknowledge your presence in her life?
Trust me, there's a lot to marriage than meets the eyes.
Just ask your maker for direction when you want to settle down.
She might be working yet feels entitled to your money..
Marriage is 50/50... All hands must be on deck to ensure the smooth sailing of the homefront.

Nice one Mitchell, it's a 50/50 thing. Well said girl.

Obierika:
As a single guy in Nigeria who is about to select a wife the biggest mistake you could possibly make right now is to marry a lady who is either not working or is not earning any sort of income.

Do not ignore this warning if you plan to get married soon!

Them no dey tell blind person say Train dey come.....

Naija246:
the biggest mistake in my opinion is to even consider marriage

Guys should know that you will enjoy your life far better when you are single than when married.
Being single affords you the luxury of:
-developing new skills
-saving a chunk of what you earn
-it affords you the opportunity to travel more.
-you will age slower(due to less stress)
Etc
The benefits of single life for a man far outweighs the pros of being married.
We men are doing Women a huge favor by marrying them.

guys, don't let any lady sell you the idea that marriage benefits you.. it's a scam!!
Marriage benefits Women not men!!
Hoard your ring!!

Best post of the year 2020
But unfortunately, You will be marveled at the percentage of SIMPS out there still begging ladies and worshipping pvssy, even a lot of Nigeria Educated illiterates lol. I swear, It will take rocket years for a lot of Men eyes to open and evolve....

tiffanyfan:




Another what?.....I thought the Ryan is a guy and madam pls I don't fight my fellow girls, so lets just close this.

ouch! That hurts who is your fellow girl?

davirossi:
The problem with you brothers is you don't want to follow the steps of your fathers before you....it is a man responsibility to take care of a woman both financially, spiritually and otherwise...if your wife is working or wants to work thank God If she is not better do the necessary needful

Mumu......

Osobi32:
my guy not all Nigerian ladies are money conscious though 99.9% of them are everything a man should run away from

Lol wetin con remain

mhizv:
Marriage isn't child's play. If you're not mentally prepared you'd have problems.

Both parties have to contribute,to making the home work. Both financially,and other wise
I advise all my make friends to marry a woman with a job or one with a business.

Marry a woman that can carry the home when you're at your lowest!
Marry a woman that respects you enough,and wants the best for you
One that wants you to achieve more than you already have.
One with ideas,and you can turn to anytime and you're sure she'd deliver.

Personally I feel a woman without a source of income has no business getting married(unless you and your husband agree to it)

Depending on your husband for literally everything possible isn't something I'd want to do.

I love you I love you isn't enough to sustain a marriage my own piece anyway

Thanks sis for this piece of advise...that has been my greatest worry to settle with a woman who's doing nothing..My uncle who did so regretted it ...esp when the man is sick who will take care of things when the woman is not working?