If he's satisfied with the heights he has attained and you are not, there is no way you can force him to do more. Some people are just satisfied with the little they have and they should be left alone as long as they are not bothering you

Godoverevery:
hmmn....too much pressure.
I hope you also doing your masters aswell.

Maybe you should channel all this you are telling him to yourself.
Is not cool Wen a lady is pushing her guy to work harder , complaining about him not earning enough while she is doing nothing herself..
if the 90k is too small what are u adding financially or u just want to be a leech.

No man likes a nagging woman.

Stop pointing him where the money at....why not go get the money yourself.

I wonder sef o, na the guy must make money? wetin do her?? smh

Contact me asap. I have an ideal man for you. You are my kind of woman

Hmm, this is a good topic,
You are ambitious, but it seems your boyfriend is easy going or very unassuming.

Sometimes you cannot get everything, you will need to decide what you want, but you cannot decide what he wants.

You're just a high-minded girl with grandiose dreams who doesn't know the realities of life, and you call yourself a 'realist'.

Your writing doesn't even show you as intelligent and yet you want to be at the top of the world? You think all those people you meet in your daily life, toiling away at whatever they can get their hands on, don't also have same dreams? You think life will always go the way you want it to and give you everything you dream of?

The worst part is that you don't even have shit to boast of apart from all that "I was the best in my class' rubbish. And you're frustrating a man's life who is already far better than you in every way. Do you have any idea how many people are praying to get that position your man is occupying right now?

Youre a proud, discontented kid who thinks life is a fantasy land where all your dreams will come true

Acmepreneur:

Hmmn
I think I will just look for a fine guy to give birth for. And take it that men are useless, and thus there won't be any fight. My beautiful children would be my happiness. I can't date any guy again and be witnessing rubbish. I don't have heart to argue or anything.
If I go into labour, then I'm doing that to give birth to a beautiful baby,so that it worth is very well.

Sorry to say, u r so unreasonable.....


If this is ur mission in life, no wonder u r so like that..... U don't wanna marry 26 27 yen yen yen


Den be a baby mama.. Better set ur life well or else all ur dream go turn to air if u don't think well.

Ur reasoning is below par

ur bizness

Would you prefer an ambitious man, but who is less loving or would you prefer an unassuming man, who is very loving, or perhaps you have seen someone who you think has everything you are looking for.

Regardless of whatever option, you need to examine the scale and see, if there is sufficient balance.

BigTableShaker:

Don't step on shits, don't be part of shits, don't shit on others as you escape from other bullshits.

Is this a SHIT poem ?

if I read that post completely eh, make mosquito finish me this night

Acmepreneur:

Hmmn
I think I will just look for a fine guy to give birth for. And take it that men are useless, and thus there won't be any fight. My beautiful children would be my happiness. I can't date any guy again and be witnessing rubbish. I don't have heart to argue or anything.
If I go into labour, then I'm doing that to give birth to a beautiful baby,so that it worth is very well.

This post actually shows you are still a kid.

If you dump his ass and never meet so.wone as honest and nice as him again, what will you do? Girl, you can have it all in one person. You have to put your money where your mouth is.

Acmepreneur:

1. Loving prospect is different from loving money. I love success not money.
2. I'm not forcing him on anything, hes the one that always say how he hates the country and want to leave. Mine is that he should work on it because each time he says he hates the country, it hurts me so bad because hes not doing anything to actually achieve that

3. I'm not trying to change him, I'm only trying to make him walk in the path he says he likes. I'm a realist as well, there's no where he would see 2m to start a business. Hes the one that says he can't work under anyone all the time, so if you know you hate working under people, then you build independence gradually while working

4. Hes the one that complain hes tired of his living, hes the first son, and have many responsibilities. Should I just watch him continue to complain and rants? Won't I be the one to suffer it because he would choose to spend for his family than our children and me. I will also choose my mum over anyone, so I understand him choosing his family. The only way out is for him to have enough that he would be able to spend for his family and myself with his children.

If I should take to you now, I should continue to watch him complain and not do anything about it. The worst is that he hates deep discussion or to start talking on important things. I'm even tired, I won't lie to you.
I know what I want, and I know it's not someone who doesn't strive for his relationship

@OP
To be honest you are not on the same wavelength with him.
Your perspective is different because you are standing on different platforms.
I have learnt to pay more attention to what people say and more attention to what people do are willing to do.
I have had much experience on people that rail about their circumstances but not willing to "stretch out their hands" to be helped or venture outside their comfort zones
The red flags are showing now.
The guy is not likely to become the proactive guy you desire and might soon begin to resent you as too pushy.
While you are at it, make sure to "push" and improve yourself to be a "success" yourself.
If things are how you are saying it your best path may be to walk away.

Most marriages that are in crisis today knew from day one that it is not working but they keep managing till the eventuality happened. Some men or woman will help you to achieve your dreams while some will drag you down. If you are my sister I will tell you that the worse people to marry in life is people with television but without vision.

Acmepreneur:

I don't earn anything substantial for now. I don't work. But I do teach online and earn little PayPal through my online skills, and I am building some business underneath which I plan to launch. I'm also applying for scholarships for my PhD, applying for jobs, and processing Canada

This is the part i was looking for since.. I just saw on page 3.

You are jobless, earn nothing, gallivant about posturing that you teach online, online enterpreneur, meanwhile thats just to make u seem like a serious person, with a job.

Just from reading your post, i just knew your situation- a woman with no tamgible.value asides what she feels is advice or psychological support.

This is not even a crime, except that you are so entitled and narcissistic. Only few have seen through you.

Why havent you put all this advice on yoursef in making yoursef better asides been a jobless masters holder with a boyfriend who ahe hopes to be her meal ticket?

All that whole advice use it for yourself na. You, you cant get job? Is it not.your mates that are working for MTN, GT, UN, Gates Foundation.etc? Dem get 4breasts?

You like developing innovations, big plans,ambitious etc. Which innovation you don ever develop, even if its just an app that recharges fones from with nepa meter. Or a water and sanitation (WASH) solution for impoverished communities.

Nonsense and ingredients. Looking for a meal ticket or a man to save her from generatiomal poverty.

Your boyfriend get enough fvk ups on his own, but you are his major fvck up sef.

Go hustle o, no be every problem, nyash go solve this year

Yeye dey smell

AfroKnight:
Thank goodness you’ve broken up with him. Your wahala is too much. He will sort himself out.

You say you’re ambitious but all your ambition is on behalf of another person.

There’s encouragement and there’s nagging. Learn the difference.

Leave him alone.

I commend you for this.. Your mama born you well

You seem to have good intentions but might be telling him the wrong way, most times, some things are better said subtly or with relatable examples.
Try talking to him again but this time ensure you don't raise your voice (if that's what you do) and if you try this and he refuses to turn a new leaf then let him be for a while, if he still fails to change then what you must do is break up with him, move on with your life. Channel the energy you put into trying to make him a better person to your own your life and personal development. Go after your dreams and quit thinking of what people will say if you get married late, better be late and end up with an amazing partner than early with a terrible spouse. Also know that you can never help a person grow if they aren't willing to take any step either.
By the way, judging by what you've written here, I think you might be a bossy person and also full of yourself, while that may not be the case, I would advise that you work on that aspect if that I'd actually true.
No too dey carry shoulder and learn to walk and work in silence. Toro kobo mi niyii. (Sorry is this is harsh or annoying in anyway).

I wish I could read the story so that I can contribute, but damn it! the story too long.




how do y'all read a story this long?

[quote author=Tripitaka post=89792222][i]"I told him to"
"I want him to"
"I warned him not to"
"I advised him to"
"He wouldn't listen to me" and all the other stuffs.

It appears to me that you are foisting your opinion, choices and wishes on your partner. You want him to live his life your way, pursue his dreams following your chart and run his race with you as guide. Perhaps you want to be the Kapellmeister while you lead the orchestra that is his life.

If he were to follow your advise and it backfires or doesnt yield the expected fruit, who would take responsibility? There is something some of us do not acknowledge which is that not everyone wants to be wealthy, some people just want to be successful at what they do, some people just want to lead a simple and fulfilled life.

I also find your intentions questionable. Do you have all those "nice thoughts" for him because you love and wish him well, or because you want him wealthy enough to marry you next year and give you "the life"? Its a shame that you say you're not proud of someone ou claim to love and painting him as some loser.

There comes a time in the life of a man when he wants to do things his own way, steer his own ship, make his own mistakes and celebrate his own little victories.

I would have asked you to talk to him, but I believe you guys have talked about this over and over. So, the choice is yours to walk or stay

Honestly you have said everything there is to say explicitly..I love your analysis and mode of thinking...God bless you

Sonfethopia:
He would have taken the fed. Job from the dad while finding a suitable one. Him nor know say lecturer job na d best. U have free time for even ur own business unlike bankers. And he can take blocking too like all of them do. In a year he go be like yahoo boy

Blocking like bitcoin, asimi and so on.

africandictator:
Allow your partner to see how successful you are business wise before shoving your opinions down his throat. You breaking up with him at this crucial point would be doing him a favour. Some people find fulfilment working for others. You should be glad he has a job that pays about $250 monthly. Love him for all his imperfections and stop trying to control him if you really love him. We have alakijas and other successful business women, you too can become one rather than pushing your partner to be successful at all costs for your own personal gains!

$250 a month,Nawa o...

He doesn't have a goal my sister

But your aspirations are so bigggg it should be enough for both of you. All you have said are just excuses, if he is not your type leave him.

I'm a lady and i admire your strength but use it properly so you dont seem overbearing. If you want to be the boss, be for you and your man. Two captains can't be in one ship my dear.

I can imagine how choked he is...

@ OP

Your statement "but he like to talk like illiterate that master is meaningless"" speaks volume of you.

My dear, master is meaningless without you putting your brains to work. Yes I said it. I have seen young people after their master become master of nothing,.

They keep looking for an illiterate that used his brain to build an empire to work for. If you doubt go and ask Mark of FB.

Be proud of your man and support him fully, then you would see him become great in that little thing.

Domineering,.
Control freak,
Men don't like women who try to Lord it over them.
If you don't like him as he is, better leave him now!!! Because you'll have trouble with him since he mentioned that "you're troubling him"
They said shoe get size, please get your size.
Face reality, meanwhile try and realizes your big dreams, that way you'll be happier. Goodluxk.

Allow this man make his career choice and stop imposing what to do to him.

If you want to leave him better do that now and stop frustrating someone's child

Finally don't waste his time or yours, decide if you want to leave or stay, he has decided in his mind, you both are not on the same lane career wose.

The OP is obviously a career chasing woman. Her type only realize they are not married at late 30s and early 40s and before you know, it was already too late for marriage.

theTransporter:



I don't know women like u still exists,iuse this thread as a point of contact to ask God for a partner like you, not the one who will be asking money for wig and fingernails (which ladies are supposed to buy themselves) without caring for financial growth of both of you. God bless you sister.

As for the guy I think you should make up with him and sit him down and really point things out for him to see, just continue to try, encourage him to read books like think and grow rich by Napoleon Hills, Laws of success , Rich dad poor dad Etc.(I just hope he is the type that likes reading, especially this one he don't want masters degree) I believe he will change. But if he isn't changing then you have no option to manage him like that or find someone in the same sync, someone in the same cosmic frequency with you so that resonance will occur.
My little contribution thoo

what you see sometimes can be deceiving... be sure before you ask...

Your perfectionism approach to life may keep you 'unmarried' for a very long time.
When I was young, like the devil told Christ, a girl wanted my to jump the sky before she could marry me.
Today, she has no wings to fly!
The truth is that you must come out of your dreams and embrace reality if you know what is good for you!

Acmepreneur:

I'm a witch? Lol
Money is very important to me and to everyone. My siblings and I suffered due to poverty and we shouldn't be where we are today if not for poverty. My siblings won lots of things at junior level that was snatched away from us at our very own eyes. I don't want that for my children, I pray they are intelligent though

"Master of nothing" cracked me up.
Looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool

desthan:
@ OP

Your statement "but he like to talk like illiterate that master is meaningless"" speaks volume of you.

My dear, master is meaningless without you putting your brains to work. Yes I said it. I have seen young people after their master become master of nothing,.

They keep looking for an illiterate that used his brain to build an empire to work for. If you doubt go and ask Mark of FB.

Be proud of your man and support him fully, then you would see him become great in that little thing.

Acmepreneur:

Lol, funny guy. Yes, my ambition is on him because I love him. In my family, wives are very important in making husband's grow, my dad won't be where he is today if not my mum, some people need the push.
I as well do not appreciate wives with husband that is not progressing, we tell our women to be a pusher

I didn't read all your story, I stopped when I you started listing some points.

This post caught my attention.

If you know your quality, don't settle for someone who lacks drive.

You will be freaking frustrated.

Also learn to push with love and action.

Ask your guy what he really wants to do.

If nothing concrete, cut him lose.