Re: Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? by adegeye38(m): 10:23am On May 22, 2020 |
Acmepreneur: Thanks to all commentors. But please, i want to know the mod that took this to front page? Una don turn Nairaland to a joke wallahi
Thanks to all commentors, you really made my day and I laughed so hard, especially those that think I have low self esteem and I'm not near intelligence.
It seems that some males on NL are already pained and frustrated about their broke assess and was already ready to any bash girl.
For those that took their time to read all the stories, I wanna say thank you, it means we are bored together as if not lockdown, you no fit see me for NL they ask yeye questions and be reading comedians comments.
For the unbelievers, the story is true,though with some little tweaks, because I don't know if my boyfriend siblings&friends are on NL, so I gave it some tweaks, though I can't vouche for other stories here on NL if they are true or false.
For those that sent me mails, sorry, I don't reply Nairaland emails. For those that wants to date,lol, I can't date people with account on NL, thats one reason I love my BF, he doesn't fancy NL at all, he thinks its for jobless people or people with so much money that they now have time at their disposal to waste or people severely bored. Yes, I know some people are making money with the help of NL, especially in the business section, bitcoin, cryptocurrency,PayPal, forex trade threads. And the GRE,IELTS section is also very good, but I still can't date a NL active member especially those active on Romance section.
Final Conclusion, I can never leave my boyfriend, I don't even know why I asked such question First of all if u are not a Christian, accept Jesus as your Lord and saviour, Then a boyfriend and girlfriend relationship is a relationship that is baseless, either u are single, engaged or married. Now to know if this guy is for you, u have to pray and know Gods will. Now lets talk abt marriage, marriage is God's idea, and so he has guidelines on how it should be done. A woman is an helper for d man, you are to fit into his vision and help him accomplish dem, and in doing dat ur own visions and aspirations too will be fulfilled. Anyman u are going to get engaged to, apart from d fact dat he must be a Christian, you ask him what is vision his, and you ask yourself ifu can actually fit into dat vision and if its d same with your own potential. Dey are so much to talk abt, u can send me an email, i will give u my number 1 Like |
Re: Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? by VictorBode(m): 10:23am On May 22, 2020 |
Acmepreneur:
Yes now You're a smart lady no doubt. And a very industrious woman. Wont mind stealing you away from whoever. ![smiley](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/smiley.png) Would like send you an email. |
Re: Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? by DenreleDave(m): 10:25am On May 22, 2020 |
Iceberg3:
Oh,now a "repliya".....in a "Political thread o"
Lolsssssss
DerenleMENTAL.
Never knew u r from the minority tribe ![grin](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/grin.png)
God forbid I argue with a yoruba slave (edo) ![grin](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/grin.png) ![grin](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/grin.png)
U shud argue with ur fellow minority...
Majority class lawa |
Re: Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? by Nobody: 10:25am On May 22, 2020 |
Funkyswagzz:
Babe to be honest u are wasting ur time on that guy.. pls quote me if u me let's talk Oya now |
Re: Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? by VictorBode(m): 10:26am On May 22, 2020 |
Acmepreneur: Thanks to all commentors. But please, i want to know the mod that took this to front page? Una don turn Nairaland to a joke wallahi
Thanks to all commentors, you really made my day and I laughed so hard, especially those that think I have low self esteem and I'm not near intelligence.
It seems that some males on NL are already pained and frustrated about their broke assess and was already ready to any bash girl.
For those that took their time to read all the stories, I wanna say thank you, it means we are bored together as if not lockdown, you no fit see me for NL they ask yeye questions and be reading comedians comments.
For the unbelievers, the story is true,though with some little tweaks, because I don't know if my boyfriend siblings&friends are on NL, so I gave it some tweaks, though I can't vouche for other stories here on NL if they are true or false.
For those that sent me mails, sorry, I don't reply Nairaland emails. For those that wants to date,lol, I can't date people with account on NL, thats one reason I love my BF, he doesn't fancy NL at all, he thinks its for jobless people or people with so much money that they now have time at their disposal to waste or people severely bored. Yes, I know some people are making money with the help of NL, especially in the business section, bitcoin, cryptocurrency,PayPal, forex trade threads. And the GRE,IELTS section is also very good, but I still can't date a NL active member especially those active on Romance section.
Final Conclusion, I can never leave my boyfriend, I don't even know why I asked such question So I'm guessing you guys didn't break up... And he has started to change already but you just wanted to create a topic of discussion out of boredom? |
Re: Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? by ThatPetiteChic: 10:27am On May 22, 2020 |
Acmepreneur:
You can't please the world. Men are always complaining of ladies that depend on them, now you see someone pushing her boyfriend to success, yet they are still complaining. I read your thread from page 1 to the end and I totally understand you. I can relate it somehow to my relationship. I couldn't present him to my dad until last year and my dad didn't approve of him. I insisted till he was accepted. My dad's slogan is 'Nobody wants to attach themself to a failure' and that's the truth. I know you have his best interest at heart but you need to be patient with him. You can't find a perfect person. Having a good man is what matters the most. It's not easy to start a business because the probability of it failing is very high. He might also have the fear of the unknown. My advice: Keep encouraging him. Chase your dreams even if it means becoming more successful, it might push him to achieve more. Advise him to learn a computer skill like web development, data science or machine learning. Pls refrain from using insultive words such as ode/mumu, it doesn't speak well about you. By the way, why did he rent a house of 600k with a salary of 90k? 1 Like |
Re: Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? by ecstasy357(m): 10:28am On May 22, 2020 |
Acmepreneur: This my guy is not serious at all.
I used to tell myself change is the only permanent thing in life bla bla bla. And I really believe that once you take the right steps, you can be anything you want to be. This made me to be very soft with people.
When I started dating my Boyfriend, I really was not choosy or judgy. I accepted him without a second thought. I'm not the type of lady that actually do all those lady stuff, I'm a very serious person and I don't play games at all. My BF is very cool, like not bad looking, normal behaviour etc and I like him a lot.
I'm a very ambitious person, with an extremely big dreams, my boyfriend is also hard working, but I'm not seeing any future at all with his career/prospects/life. When I say I'm with big dreams, it's means I'm working on discovering (new innovations), planning big business that would compete with top brands etc. I'm that big in dreams.
My children is also very important to me, I don't plan for their sufferings at all. I'm an introvert, I find solace in my aspirations, dreams. I have books I work out those formulas (I mean how I would execute my business plans), I research a lot, think a lot etc
Our fight now
Since day 1, I do tell him to do this and that. I really hate company works, so I would tell him to have savings, and be building something sideways where he works. Also, I wanted him to do Masters, since he said he would love to travel out, he's always saying he hates Nigeria bla bla bla. His dad also wanted him to do Masters, but he's in the crew of Masters is a waste of time, and he can't do Masters in Nigeria bla bla bla
Baby try this business, he would say he doesn't have money, he needs 2 million to start a business etc.
Meanwhile, he doesn't have money to travel out of the country to do Masters, nor 2m to start any business. So I would tell him to manage what he has first, and that would propelled him later, but he likes to talk like illiterates that Masters is meaningless.
Meanwhile, while that is true, those things are just like investment, you don't know when you will see an opportunity to use your Masters certificate, and since he studied computer science, I told him that it can even help him get a job outside Nigeria when he leaves, that it can be useful there. I understand the situation of the country, but not having masters doesn't mean you will get a job as well, so why don't you just have it.
My bf would shut me off, and also his dad, the dad even asked him to take job at the federal university where he works, but my bf said he can't work in that place, this is a federal government job o, he would say the salary is too small and people there already knows him, because his dad is in a big office in the university.
So it won't seem like I'm disturbing him, I went quiet, but might chip it in in discussions, but I don't fight him on those things. He works in a small company, and he rose to the position of a Manager, he spent all his time in office, the little time to waste with his friends. It's a good thing but I'm not comfortable with that, the pay is about 90k, which is not enough for his expenses, also he's the first born.
Fast forward to last year, his dad died, it looks like a film trick to him, he now have to take care of his siblings and mum (mum is nurse, but retired long time ago, her pay is little because it wasn't normal retirement). Everything I was telling him finally came to pass.
He rented an apartment with His friends, he later hated it, and said he wants his own, he went to rent an apartment of 600k (he gathered it from different places and he borrowed), which I really hate and we fought on that as well. Because he could have used the money to secure his life in a better way, since his complain when I told him to start a business is that he doesn't have money bla bla bla
He will not apply for better jobs as well He's practically doing nothing to grow, and would say he hates Nigeria and he would like to leave, but he can't even apply for scholarships or even google schools.
So this 2020, Jan 1, I started fighting him, that I'm not going to continue with him like that, that he should go apply for MSC, start a business or just do something. He now started saying that he has responsibilities which are his siblings, I told him this is the nonsense, he would do till the year ends, we will fight and later resolve it.
He won't even talk about it, or get reminded, he makes me feel Hus boss is using him. I have told him several times how he would be used and dumped, in fact, he makes me say negatives sometimes, and that's because I have seen people that get dumped while working with companies and they fall back to grass, my mum won't even accept him because he works in a company, small company, not cocacola or big companies. My mum hates company works like shits because we've heard and seen people falling to zero due to company jobs.
The problem 1. He says I'm disturbing his life, and not allowing him to rest
2. I'm not happy with him living that way, with no future, no investment, hes not building himself while working, hes not doing courses, not learning any skills, and I think its too risky. His current salary is not enough for him, not to talk of me collecting part of it. But he gives me money though, has not been more than 1k, 2k and data subscription which I really appreciate.
3. I can't introduce him to my family because I want him respected. Truth is I don't know what he would say to impress my parents because I'm not even impressed with him. And I want him to be superloved and respected. I believe in first impression would last very long. He has introduced me to his family and all friends
4. He never ask me about my own life, aspirations, advice me etc, I'm always the one to do that. Yesterday he had the gut to tell me I'm not caring because of just two days of not showing care
5. Corona has turned his company outside down and he's highly affected. Just like all what I was telling him finally happened, and he has nothing to fall back at. He has a car,
6. I can't marry him or anyone this way, and I'm getting old, though and I want marriage next year. He said he wants too, but I can't marry him like this. And I don't want to get to late twenties, and he breaks up and I start looking for husband, people would be thinking maybe I have a problem that is why I'm yet to marry, they won't know that its him that caused my delay. Plus I have a very high esteem, so I would hate to be desperate for marriage with a man or be the one to be wanting marriage so much in a relationship
7. Right now, we have temporarily break up, so I'm asking if I should break up or make up? Because he was saying rubbish last night
Note: I'm not a fan of dating and rubbish, I love him very much and I don't want to leave him at all. I don't think there's any man I can date as I do not like dishonesty at all and 95% of men are dishonest. My BF is very honest and good I'm every other aspect Madam, you have a right to be happy. Yes, relationship some times involves compromising but never compromise in such a way that you will no longer be happy. You saw all these coming, and based on what you wrote, you are not seeing how things will get better. The decision is clear and it's right in front of you. On a personal note, I love planning for the future, having multiple source of income. And anyone who doesn't think the way I do rarely becomes a friend let alone a partner. Goodluck on your relationship. God bless you 1 Like |
Re: Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? by Nobody: 10:29am On May 22, 2020 |
6 Likes |
Re: Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? by kamikaz1: 10:31am On May 22, 2020 |
Acmepreneur:
I'm proud of him, I just want him to be respected. Money and position is respect. I'm a realist, people are not angels, thats what they respect. I don't visit his parent because I was no where, now I can because I'm better. Since I discovered how humans are physical, I don't trust anyone with some things again. I live with people physically, if I'm your friend, I know that being nice to you and making you a parasite is the only thing that can sustain the friendship and thus, I keep it like that. If I want to visit people, I look my best because people are attracted to beauty and money. I'm going to visit lecturers, I buy gift, thats because that is what would make them think you are a responsible person. Myself for instance, don't care about materials or physical, I'm a very deep person, that really put me in a mess, and since I got that logic, I'm physical with people. Coming to your inlaw house with no money, no matter how Godly they are, they will fill somehow. I can't type again, I hope you understand sha Never do it for people. Do it for yourself. Only in that you'll find true peace. I love your zeal though. But take it slow. If you're sure that's the way you want to live your life, this guy isn't yours. 1 Like |
Re: Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? by Nobody: 10:31am On May 22, 2020 |
excanny: Dump him nau. Look for someone else who is what you want. You can't change him.
Did they swear for u that u must die with him? Yes, they have swear for me that I must die with him |
Re: Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? by Animaxwell(m): 10:33am On May 22, 2020 |
My dear I understand your point but you're being too choosy and selfish. A lot of women behave this way and it's not good. Have you ever tried to know how he intends to actualize his plans? He may be working on that but wont tell you cos you'll always want your opinion and view to be used. Remember that Rome was not built in a day buh rather with a slow and steady strategy so I advice you cool down and reason with him. Find out his plans, how he intends to execute them and his progress towards that and then know how to bring in your own views to augment his own. Again, learn to be proud of what you have. It will be so heartbreaking to find out that someone you've gone far with is not even proud to show you off. Lastly, find out his marriage plans and know if OK by you.. It is only when you've gone through all these that you'll know if quitting will be the best..
You can chat me up on WhatsApp via 07063626026 |
Re: Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? by professore(m): 10:36am On May 22, 2020 |
I'm very impressed with the op, not many Nigerian girls are this ambitious. You almost changed my view of ladies, nice. Pray above all things, once you end up with your own husband that is the most important thing. Also, consider a man who will not come in between you and your dreams, who will not ask you to slow down, or who will not use his own life issues to slow you down, because marriage should not be what will dislocate your aspirations in life. Check him in connection to what I have just said. As for this man, he his complacent and satisfied with lowkey life and you may not be able to change that, obviously. As for me, I wont say either of the two options of - leave him/stay with him. Pray for wisdom to decide, because that is best left in your hand. I pray God will order your steps. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? by Tessasset(f): 10:39am On May 22, 2020 |
Acmepreneur:
I'm still laughing, on the one end,I'm frustrated with low self esteem, on the other end, I'm proud. Good luck with your 5.0cgpa, congratulations. How can a faceless person be proud on a faceless forum? Open your brain. You should take it easy with the way you address people, it'll do you so much good. No doubts about this place being a faceless forum but a good look at how people respond to others can give you some hints about how they are in real life. With that being said, you're obviously an ambitious person and you shouldn't allow anyone to slow you down or kill your dreams. Two people can't walk together unless they agree. It would have been a lot easier for people to know how to advise you if they went through your previous posts...take some deep breath and really think of what you want. It's like you're just being tossed anywhere. You're still young, don't be frustrated from now. 2 Likes |
Re: Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? by Nobody: 10:41am On May 22, 2020 |
Acmepreneur:
Lol, someone said it was earned through LA cram, LA pour. Don't bother to follow me, this account would soon be deactivated. I'm really a low key, I just play and ask questions with this account forget those one jare, na their type dae graduate with just a pass. just dae do wetin feel say e dae normal.u go surely come out strong. by the way,whats ur main monicker. |
Re: Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? by excanny: 10:41am On May 22, 2020 |
Acmepreneur:
Yes, they have swear for me that I must die with him
Why are u here complaining and disturbing cyberspace?
Go enjoy him. |
Re: Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? by VictorBode(m): 10:42am On May 22, 2020 |
Acmepreneur:
I love this, Thanks ma'am. I'm constantly growing as well Lol. Stop replying. You lied. When women say they "tweaked" it's usually a lie 1 Like |
Re: Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? by Nobody: 10:42am On May 22, 2020 |
ThatPetiteChic:
You can't please the world. Men are always complaining of ladies that depend on them, now you see someone pushing her boyfriend to success, yet they are still complaining.
I read your thread from page 1 to the end and I totally understand you. I can relate it somehow to my relationship. I couldn't present him to my dad until last year and my dad didn't approve of him. I insisted till he was accepted. My dad's slogan is 'Nobody wants to attach themself to a failure' and that's the truth.
I know you have his best interest at heart but you need to be patient with him. You can't find a perfect person. Having a good man is what matters the most. It's not easy to start a business because the probability of it failing is very high. He might also have the fear of the unknown.
My advice: Keep encouraging him. Chase your dreams even if it means becoming more successful, it might push him to achieve more. Advise him to learn a computer skill like web development, data science or machine learning.
Pls refrain from using insultive words such as ode/mumu, it doesn't speak well about you. By the way, why did he rent a house of 600k with a salary of 90k? Thanks sis. Im glad you understood me. I pray for him in every prayer. I'm not saying he should start a business, but build something underneath as a back up which may be a business gradually. I started telling him properly this year, we've been together for 4years now, that I have been looking at him while not telling him that much so I won't be pressuring him. As for my parents, one of the reason I'm scared to take him home is because I want him superloved and well resected. I have some rich family that could look down on him (this is just my thinking, they have never looked down on anyone before), its just my guess. 1 Like |
Re: Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? by Nobody: 10:43am On May 22, 2020 |
@petyprincess come drop a point or two here. For our friend to learn. |
Re: Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? by chikarism: 10:43am On May 22, 2020 |
Acmepreneur: This my guy is not serious at all.
I used to tell myself change is the only permanent thing in life bla bla bla. And I really believe that once you take the right steps, you can be anything you want to be. This made me to be very soft with people.
When I started dating my Boyfriend, I really was not choosy or judgy. I accepted him without a second thought. I'm not the type of lady that actually do all those lady stuff, I'm a very serious person and I don't play games at all. My BF is very cool, like not bad looking, normal behaviour etc and I like him a lot.
I'm a very ambitious person, with an extremely big dreams, my boyfriend is also hard working, but I'm not seeing any future at all with his career/prospects/life. When I say I'm with big dreams, it's means I'm working on discovering (new innovations), planning big business that would compete with top brands etc. I'm that big in dreams.
My children is also very important to me, I don't plan for their sufferings at all. I'm an introvert, I find solace in my aspirations, dreams. I have books I work out those formulas (I mean how I would execute my business plans), I research a lot, think a lot etc
Our fight now
Since day 1, I do tell him to do this and that. I really hate company works, so I would tell him to have savings, and be building something sideways where he works. Also, I wanted him to do Masters, since he said he would love to travel out, he's always saying he hates Nigeria bla bla bla. His dad also wanted him to do Masters, but he's in the crew of Masters is a waste of time, and he can't do Masters in Nigeria bla bla bla
Baby try this business, he would say he doesn't have money, he needs 2 million to start a business etc.
Meanwhile, he doesn't have money to travel out of the country to do Masters, nor 2m to start any business. So I would tell him to manage what he has first, and that would propelled him later, but he likes to talk like illiterates that Masters is meaningless.
Meanwhile, while that is true, those things are just like investment, you don't know when you will see an opportunity to use your Masters certificate, and since he studied computer science, I told him that it can even help him get a job outside Nigeria when he leaves, that it can be useful there. I understand the situation of the country, but not having masters doesn't mean you will get a job as well, so why don't you just have it.
My bf would shut me off, and also his dad, the dad even asked him to take job at the federal university where he works, but my bf said he can't work in that place, this is a federal government job o, he would say the salary is too small and people there already knows him, because his dad is in a big office in the university.
So it won't seem like I'm disturbing him, I went quiet, but might chip it in in discussions, but I don't fight him on those things. He works in a small company, and he rose to the position of a Manager, he spent all his time in office, the little time to waste with his friends. It's a good thing but I'm not comfortable with that, the pay is about 90k, which is not enough for his expenses, also he's the first born.
Fast forward to last year, his dad died, it looks like a film trick to him, he now have to take care of his siblings and mum (mum is nurse, but retired long time ago, her pay is little because it wasn't normal retirement). Everything I was telling him finally came to pass.
He rented an apartment with His friends, he later hated it, and said he wants his own, he went to rent an apartment of 600k (he gathered it from different places and he borrowed), which I really hate and we fought on that as well. Because he could have used the money to secure his life in a better way, since his complain when I told him to start a business is that he doesn't have money bla bla bla
He will not apply for better jobs as well He's practically doing nothing to grow, and would say he hates Nigeria and he would like to leave, but he can't even apply for scholarships or even google schools.
So this 2020, Jan 1, I started fighting him, that I'm not going to continue with him like that, that he should go apply for MSC, start a business or just do something. He now started saying that he has responsibilities which are his siblings, I told him this is the nonsense, he would do till the year ends, we will fight and later resolve it.
He won't even talk about it, or get reminded, he makes me feel Hus boss is using him. I have told him several times how he would be used and dumped, in fact, he makes me say negatives sometimes, and that's because I have seen people that get dumped while working with companies and they fall back to grass, my mum won't even accept him because he works in a company, small company, not cocacola or big companies. My mum hates company works like shits because we've heard and seen people falling to zero due to company jobs.
The problem 1. He says I'm disturbing his life, and not allowing him to rest
2. I'm not happy with him living that way, with no future, no investment, hes not building himself while working, hes not doing courses, not learning any skills, and I think its too risky. His current salary is not enough for him, not to talk of me collecting part of it. But he gives me money though, has not been more than 1k, 2k and data subscription which I really appreciate.
3. I can't introduce him to my family because I want him respected. Truth is I don't know what he would say to impress my parents because I'm not even impressed with him. And I want him to be superloved and respected. I believe in first impression would last very long. He has introduced me to his family and all friends
4. He never ask me about my own life, aspirations, advice me etc, I'm always the one to do that. Yesterday he had the gut to tell me I'm not caring because of just two days of not showing care
5. Corona has turned his company outside down and he's highly affected. Just like all what I was telling him finally happened, and he has nothing to fall back at. He has a car,
6. I can't marry him or anyone this way, and I'm getting old, though and I want marriage next year. He said he wants too, but I can't marry him like this. And I don't want to get to late twenties, and he breaks up and I start looking for husband, people would be thinking maybe I have a problem that is why I'm yet to marry, they won't know that its him that caused my delay. Plus I have a very high esteem, so I would hate to be desperate for marriage with a man or be the one to be wanting marriage so much in a relationship
7. Right now, we have temporarily break up, so I'm asking if I should break up or make up? Because he was saying rubbish last night
Note: I'm not a fan of dating and rubbish, I love him very much and I don't want to leave him at all. I don't think there's any man I can date as I do not like dishonesty at all and 95% of men are dishonest. My BF is very honest and good I'm every other aspect this life eh somehow na kind of lady i dey look for yet nt those lazy elements |
Re: Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? by Iceberg3: 10:44am On May 22, 2020 |
|
Re: Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? by Danielkupiejo: 10:45am On May 22, 2020 |
You sef sabi to make am for Nigeria business wise no easy. Masters no easy make d guy die?. Why she no find sth do herself as na her get all d brain make her parents help wit money since dem get money. redcliff:
you go blame the woman? you think say e easy to find man for naija? no to talk of our society that see women who are not married at a certain age in a different kind of light.. |
Re: Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? by Nobody: 10:47am On May 22, 2020 |
Tessasset:
You should take it easy with the way you address people, it'll do you so much good. No doubts about this place being a faceless forum but a good look at how people respond to others can give you some hints about how they are in real life. With that being said, you're obviously an ambitious person and you shouldn't allow anyone to slow you down or kill your dreams. Two people can't walk together unless they agree. It would have been a lot easier for people to know how to advise you if they went through your previous posts...take some deep breath and really think of what you want. It's like you're just being tossed anywhere. You're still young, don't be frustrated from now. Thanks ma'am, I'm just playing here sis. I mean with this monicker. Truth is that in Africa, if you want people to hate you, mention your achievements, no normal person boasts of achievement. Me boasting here means I'm just playing 1 Like |
Re: Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? by Beze992(f): 10:50am On May 22, 2020 |
mandate12:
like u have been married at that age in ur previous life and saw the demerits You took the words out of my mouth With all these 'big' dreams she still wants to get married in her mid thirties, its feasible of course but that's no reason to overly pressure the poor guy in a way to mould him as a model suitor for your 'impending union'. 2 Likes |
Re: Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? by redcliff: 10:53am On May 22, 2020 |
Danielkupiejo: You sef sabi to make am for Nigeria business wise no easy. Masters no easy make d guy die?. Why she no find sth do herself as na her get all d brain make her parents help wit money since dem get money. she drop pass masters option there, 1. masters, 2. Business. Omo leave those people abeg. na their wahala....lol 1 Like |
Re: Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? by WriterX(m): 10:54am On May 22, 2020 |
Acmepreneur: This my guy is not serious at all.
I used to tell myself change is the only permanent thing in life bla bla bla. And I really believe that once you take the right steps, you can be anything you want to be. This made me to be very soft with people.
When I started dating my Boyfriend, I really was not choosy or judgy. I accepted him without a second thought. I'm not the type of lady that actually do all those lady stuff, I'm a very serious person and I don't play games at all. My BF is very cool, like not bad looking, normal behaviour etc and I like him a lot.
I'm a very ambitious person, with an extremely big dreams, my boyfriend is also hard working, but I'm not seeing any future at all with his career/prospects/life. When I say I'm with big dreams, it's means I'm working on discovering (new innovations), planning big business that would compete with top brands etc. I'm that big in dreams.
My children is also very important to me, I don't plan for their sufferings at all. I'm an introvert, I find solace in my aspirations, dreams. I have books I work out those formulas (I mean how I would execute my business plans), I research a lot, think a lot etc
Our fight now
Since day 1, I do tell him to do this and that. I really hate company works, so I would tell him to have savings, and be building something sideways where he works. Also, I wanted him to do Masters, since he said he would love to travel out, he's always saying he hates Nigeria bla bla bla. His dad also wanted him to do Masters, but he's in the crew of Masters is a waste of time, and he can't do Masters in Nigeria bla bla bla
Baby try this business, he would say he doesn't have money, he needs 2 million to start a business etc.
Meanwhile, he doesn't have money to travel out of the country to do Masters, nor 2m to start any business. So I would tell him to manage what he has first, and that would propelled him later, but he likes to talk like illiterates that Masters is meaningless.
Meanwhile, while that is true, those things are just like investment, you don't know when you will see an opportunity to use your Masters certificate, and since he studied computer science, I told him that it can even help him get a job outside Nigeria when he leaves, that it can be useful there. I understand the situation of the country, but not having masters doesn't mean you will get a job as well, so why don't you just have it.
My bf would shut me off, and also his dad, the dad even asked him to take job at the federal university where he works, but my bf said he can't work in that place, this is a federal government job o, he would say the salary is too small and people there already knows him, because his dad is in a big office in the university.
So it won't seem like I'm disturbing him, I went quiet, but might chip it in in discussions, but I don't fight him on those things. He works in a small company, and he rose to the position of a Manager, he spent all his time in office, the little time to waste with his friends. It's a good thing but I'm not comfortable with that, the pay is about 90k, which is not enough for his expenses, also he's the first born.
Fast forward to last year, his dad died, it looks like a film trick to him, he now have to take care of his siblings and mum (mum is nurse, but retired long time ago, her pay is little because it wasn't normal retirement). Everything I was telling him finally came to pass.
He rented an apartment with His friends, he later hated it, and said he wants his own, he went to rent an apartment of 600k (he gathered it from different places and he borrowed), which I really hate and we fought on that as well. Because he could have used the money to secure his life in a better way, since his complain when I told him to start a business is that he doesn't have money bla bla bla
He will not apply for better jobs as well He's practically doing nothing to grow, and would say he hates Nigeria and he would like to leave, but he can't even apply for scholarships or even google schools.
So this 2020, Jan 1, I started fighting him, that I'm not going to continue with him like that, that he should go apply for MSC, start a business or just do something. He now started saying that he has responsibilities which are his siblings, I told him this is the nonsense, he would do till the year ends, we will fight and later resolve it.
He won't even talk about it, or get reminded, he makes me feel Hus boss is using him. I have told him several times how he would be used and dumped, in fact, he makes me say negatives sometimes, and that's because I have seen people that get dumped while working with companies and they fall back to grass, my mum won't even accept him because he works in a company, small company, not cocacola or big companies. My mum hates company works like shits because we've heard and seen people falling to zero due to company jobs.
The problem 1. He says I'm disturbing his life, and not allowing him to rest
2. I'm not happy with him living that way, with no future, no investment, hes not building himself while working, hes not doing courses, not learning any skills, and I think its too risky. His current salary is not enough for him, not to talk of me collecting part of it. But he gives me money though, has not been more than 1k, 2k and data subscription which I really appreciate.
3. I can't introduce him to my family because I want him respected. Truth is I don't know what he would say to impress my parents because I'm not even impressed with him. And I want him to be superloved and respected. I believe in first impression would last very long. He has introduced me to his family and all friends
4. He never ask me about my own life, aspirations, advice me etc, I'm always the one to do that. Yesterday he had the gut to tell me I'm not caring because of just two days of not showing care
5. Corona has turned his company outside down and he's highly affected. Just like all what I was telling him finally happened, and he has nothing to fall back at. He has a car,
6. I can't marry him or anyone this way, and I'm getting old, though and I want marriage next year. He said he wants too, but I can't marry him like this. And I don't want to get to late twenties, and he breaks up and I start looking for husband, people would be thinking maybe I have a problem that is why I'm yet to marry, they won't know that its him that caused my delay. Plus I have a very high esteem, so I would hate to be desperate for marriage with a man or be the one to be wanting marriage so much in a relationship
7. Right now, we have temporarily break up, so I'm asking if I should break up or make up? Because he was saying rubbish last night
Note: I'm not a fan of dating and rubbish, I love him very much and I don't want to leave him at all. I don't think there's any man I can date as I do not like dishonesty at all and 95% of men are dishonest. My BF is very honest and good I'm every other aspect Why do I feel you this is for me |
Re: Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? by Danielkupiejo: 10:57am On May 22, 2020 |
Somethings dey if u no patiently do am if it backfires na back to square one one. redcliff:
she drop pass masters option there, 1. masters, 2. Business. Omo leave those people abeg. na their wahala....lol
|
Re: Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? by Cosyfaith(f): 10:58am On May 22, 2020 |
Acmepreneur: Thanks to all commentors. Edit: i want to use this moment to Thank the ladies, this thread of mine has made me to realize the future of Africa is in the hands of ladies, men are total disgrace, while some are quite inspiring and very helpful, the percentage of men spewing rubbish is quite very high, about 90% while that of female is just 2%. Thank you God for not making me a man.
But please, i want to know the mod that took this to front page? Una don turn Nairaland to a joke wallahi
Thanks to all commentors, you really made my day and I laughed so hard, especially those that think I have low self esteem and I'm not near intelligence.
It seems that some males on NL are already pained and frustrated about their broke assess and was already ready to any bash girl.
For those that took their time to read all the stories, I wanna say thank you, it means we are bored together as if not lockdown, you no fit see me for NL they ask yeye questions and be reading comedians comments.
For the unbelievers, the story is true,though with some little tweaks, because I don't know if my boyfriend siblings&friends are on NL, so I gave it some tweaks, though I can't vouche for other stories here on NL if they are true or false.
For those that sent me mails, sorry, I don't reply Nairaland emails. For those that wants to date,lol, I can't date people with account on NL, thats one reason I love my BF, he doesn't fancy NL at all, he thinks its for jobless people or people with so much money that they now have time at their disposal to waste or people severely bored. Yes, I know some people are making money with the help of NL, especially in the business section, bitcoin, cryptocurrency,PayPal, forex trade threads. And the GRE,IELTS section is also very good, but I still can't date a NL active member especially those active on Romance section.
Final Conclusion, I can never leave my boyfriend, I don't even know why I asked such question This is so funny and hilarious. You are obviously glued to the guy by the hip. So you don't fancy NL but you want their advice. Don't underestimate any guy. A person who hasn't seen other farms will think his father's farm is the largest. One thing I have learned in life, you or your bf are neither indispensable to each other. You may think he is all that but trust me there are better guys out there that you would ask why you were stressing in the first place. Don't trade your happiness or peace of mind for anything, not even relationships. Because trust me as a human you have elastic limit and you would reach a point love won't be enough and guess what, you are already in too deep to live, prolly with kids and all. So don't think with your heart, use every logical sense to decide if it's all gonna be worth it. 2 Likes |
Re: Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? by folake4u(f): 10:59am On May 22, 2020 |
I'm like this Op, goal oriented and very very ambitious, the way I show love is to make sure the people I love or are close to me can progress in their lives by sending them vital information, books, scholarship applications and general word of advice and encouragement. I was taught this hard way by my parents and I can't even be with a guy that isn't ambitious or goal oriented as I am, I don't like it when I'm always giving energy vibes of 80-90% and the person is giving me 20-30% energy, I will be very frustrated!!!!!! Reading through some comments especially the first page and I'm here shaking my head profusely at the distasteful comments some guys are reeking, how can you call what Op is doing "NAGGING" ![](/faces/huh.png) ![](/faces/huh.png) . Even if you say it's nagging, isn't it for the betterment of the Op's boyfriend? What this Op is doing is borne out of pure love, even me sef salute her. How can a first son be this lazy that he's even been pushed up and down by his girlfriend and his late father to achieve things in life? Even going as far as renting 600k apartment ontop 90k salary!!!! Talmabout living above your means, you come still borrow the 600k to pay rent. O ga oh!!!!!!!! Infact, I'm angry!! Op, please talk to him and make him see reasons with you, and if he doesn't, please leave him ALONE. Promise me you'd cry over him for just 2-3days tops ![smiley](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/smiley.png) . Na wa oh, Una see girl wey dey push you to move forward in life, una go complain, Una see girl wey be Instagram slayer and ambitionless or NFA, Una go run meet slaymama, she go chop una money, clean mouth and Una go run come NL and say "Girls are whores, fish brains" and other gibberish. Nonsense and Corona virus!!!!!! Lastly, Op you deserve everything you want and it is my prayer that you should be happy, don't let any man hush you down. Keep being YOU What do Nigerian men really want? 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? by Nobody: 11:01am On May 22, 2020 |
VictorBode:
So I'm guessing you guys didn't break up...
And he has started to change already but you just wanted to create a topic of discussion out of boredom? We can never break up. No, that's not the cause of our present fight, he's gradually changing. This morning he told me he started a course already. I just don't want him to be stagnant, we've been together for 4years, and I don't like that he is in a single place for 2years when he became the manager. Since we met, I have done NYSc, Masters, learnt several skills, write some tests and exams etc. I want him to try something as well, and not just depend solely on his company without any backuo 2 Likes |
Re: Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? by ThatPetiteChic: 11:01am On May 22, 2020 |
Acmepreneur:
Yea... my fiance and I have been together for 6 years. I also had that feeling because many parents will only respect a successful man but I realised something. The way you present him to your family will earn him that respect. No one needs to know his income. My family is far richer than my fiance's family but I had to present him well to my people so they don't look down on him. With this corona issue, I have started looking for how to leave this country even if my fiance prefers staying back. He doesn't mind me leaving him behind. Keep pushing him softly (not nagging) and with prayers, it will end in praise. I see you going far, dont relent in your effort. I believe in few years from now, we would read our post and laugh at it because we will all be in a better place. ![kiss](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/kiss.gif) 1 Like |
Re: Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? by Nobody: 11:01am On May 22, 2020 |
Ghostrye: Wait oo. you are in your early 20s and you say you are getting old. Ma'am I think you should focus on you for the moment, this is the time for you to expand yourself and become who can stand on her own two feet without having to rely on a boyfriend before you can picture your future being okay. You should build yourself, get things going aright try to plan for a scinerio where your future still plays out even when a boyfriend/husband is not financially involved. I know this might annoy some ladies here, but you are still young you have about five more years to steer your life in the right way Focus on yourself and try to build your boyfriend too, if you notice in a year or two that he doesn't have a drive to be great, leave and find someone else who can match either your greatness or your love, but at that time it wouldn't matter which is which because you'll already be self-sufficient. My2cents 1 Like |
Re: Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? by Cosyfaith(f): 11:02am On May 22, 2020 |
|