arthorjnr:


Why do you bother with them?
Let them live by their principles. I hope they stay happy, single and alone with only sex to comfort them at 60.
Maybe then, those hormones that are driving them now, when they've been depleted because of age, they'll seek companionship.
Don't worry, they'll meet a lot of old happy singles in the old people home.

mhizv:
Marriage isn't child's play. If you're not mentally prepared you'd have problems.

Both parties have to contribute,to making the home work. Both financially,and other wise
I advise all my make friends to marry a woman with a job or one with a business.

Marry a woman that can carry the home when you're at your lowest!
Marry a woman that respects you enough,and wants the best for you
One that wants you to achieve more than you already have.
One with ideas,and you can turn to anytime and you're sure she'd deliver.

Personally I feel a woman without a source of income has no business getting married(unless you and your husband agree to it)

Depending on your husband for literally everything possible isn't something I'd want to do.

I love you I love you isn't enough to sustain a marriage my own piece anyway

efosky1246:


There are pros and cons to everything. Most men when financially sufficient would prefer his woman to run the homefront as opposed to still juggling a 9-5 along with family responsibilities.

There are many ways you can motivate your man without necessarily contributing financially. A clean home, well kept kids and a home cooked meal from a loving wife is a strong motivator for men.

A woman should motivate, not necessarily help the man play his role as the provider.

Nonsoboy4life:

Thanks sis for this piece of advise...that has been my greatest worry to settle with a woman who's doing nothing..My uncle who did so regretted it ...esp when the man is sick who will take care of things when the woman is not working?

mhizv:



In another post I said if it's a decision they both decide to make. Then it's okay

But I personally can't be idle. I'd rather have a business than just sit at home cooking,and cleaning all day.

+It's not a necessity. It's just reasonable she has a source of income. Anything can happen! What if the man losses his job? Do they start from the scratch or what?

I've seen women shoulder responsibilities of the home, pending when the man gets a better job.
It's best the woman gets a job flexible enough for her to have more time for her kids or just run a business

Ryan03:
ouch! That hurts who is your fellow girl?

efosky1246:


Fair enough,

But this argument of the man failing in his role due to unforeseen circumstances,I just don't dig it. There is risk attached to everything, even the woman running the business. It's just common sense for adults to save and have substantial cash aside for the rainy days irrespective of how the income comes in.

But to each his own Sha. I'd take a traditional woman anyday, money ain't everything.

mhizv:



Even traditional women, take responsibilities when the need arises.

Just as you can't completely depend on office jobs,same way there are risk to businesses.

If the man feels his bouyant enough to run the family and doesn't want her to work,then fine!

Anyway these are discussions to have B4 actually getting married. Cos personally I'm not going to be a housewife!
Didn't spend years in school just to keep my certificate in a box and become a house wife.


I always use my uncle as an example in discussions like this.

While he was working on the new building and school, the wife was running the home completely.

It was more like division of labor. He focused on getting the project done and she focused on taking care of the home. Feeding, bills,and every other expenses. Which made me admire her alot.(her husband is well to do )

So I feel it's not just about if he's bouyant enough. It's more of a contribution
Making that move to show you're actually concerned about the state of affairs in the home.

It's left for the man to accept or not. Just make a move

efosky1246:


It's fine. My itch with your argument thus far is encapsulated in this

"Making that move to show you're actually concerned about the state of affairs in the home."

You opine the woman can only show she's concerned with the affairs of her home only if she contributes financially, I find that a flawed way of thinking.


Anyways, if that's what rocks your boat, good for you.

mhizv:



Sighs*

Look at this from a neutral ground

Concern doesnt necessarily need to be just money!

If I have a means of helping financially,are you saying I shouldn't?

I wonder what most men want really!
How can you be comfortable with your wife doing nothing!? Asking you for literally everything?
If you want her to take the home and the kids as first priority why not set up a business?

These are everyday happenings!?

LIKE I SAID! IF YOU'RE BOTH COMFORTABLE WITH IT,CARRY ON!

efosky1246:


You make it seem like a woman must help the man fulfill his role as the provider. You just said that is the only way she can show she's concerned about the affairs of the home.

Mind you, I am not against a woman doing a business as long as she still prioritises what should be most important, the children. I'd even be her biggest fan, but her business does not in anyway become an insurance policy for me or my children. A man protects, and money as the Bible rightly says is for a protection. his Money should not just be for provision but also for protection(investment).

And she will not be asking him for everything like a child. The wife will have full access to the family's finances and a percentage will definitely go to each party for upkeep monthly.

I don't know why I need to keep explaining this to a woman.

You just can't seem to see beyond contributing financially. If a man needs you to help him financially to the daily running of the home then he has no business getting married.

As I said earlier, if that's what rocks your boat, stick with it.

mhizv:




And I don't see why I need to keep explaining to you! It's not just finances.

Life isn't all Rosy and things happen! That there's a like set back and the woman assist doesn't mean he isn't man enough.

The argument has been mainly on finances! If she should or not.

If he doesn't want her to,no problem. But if she feels the need to then there's also no problem.

I'm speaking based on what I've seen! Several times no one said her business is an insurance policy! That's just how you see it.


She doesn't necessarily needs to let you know before getting things done within the house. And the kids and running the home still remains the number one priority reason I suggested a business.

I don't fancy this house wife stuff honestly. At least earn money for yourself..if there's comes a time the man needs assistance and he comes to you,by all means go ahead.


I sure as hell won't let all responsibilities be on my husband entirely,just as we both have save for rainy days.

It's between the couples anyway.whatever suits them

efosky1246:


You make it seem like a woman must help the man fulfill his role as the provider. You just said that is the only way she can show she's concerned about the affairs of the home.

Mind you, I am not against a woman doing a business as long as she still prioritises what should be most important, the children. I'd even be her biggest fan, but her business does not in anyway become an insurance policy for me or my children. A man protects, and money as the Bible rightly says is for a protection. his Money should not just be for provision but also for protection(investment).

And she will not be asking him for everything like a child. The wife will have full access to the family's finances and a percentage will definitely go to each party for upkeep monthly.

I don't know why I need to keep explaining this to a woman.

You just can't seem to see beyond contributing financially. If a man needs you to help him financially to the daily running of the home then he has no business getting married.

As I said earlier, if that's what rocks your boat, stick with it.

efosky1246:


Good night mhizv

MelaninSkinGirl:


I have seen these professional bachelors, trust me they are lonely, there is only so much women you can sleep with and then one day, you wake up, 60 and alone with no legacy. Having baby mamas is punishment for your children and subjecting them to a bad start in life. There are single parents who are that against their will but to actively want to be a single parent is selfish.

mhizv:



Even traditional women, take responsibilities when the need arises.

Just as you can't completely depend on office jobs,same way there are risk to businesses.

If the man feels his bouyant enough to run the family and doesn't want her to work,then fine!

Anyway these are discussions to have B4 actually getting married. Cos personally I'm not going to be a housewife!
Didn't spend years in school just to keep my certificate in a box and become a house wife.


I always use my uncle as an example in discussions like this.

While he was working on the new building and school, the wife was running the home completely.

It was more like division of labor. He focused on getting the project done and she focused on taking care of the home. Feeding, bills,and every other expenses. Which made me admire her alot.(her husband is well to do )

So I feel it's not just about if he's bouyant enough. It's more of a contribution
Making that move to show you're actually concerned about the state of affairs in the home.

It's left for the man to accept or not. Just make a move

Davash222:
That's not the biggest mistake..

The biggest mistake is to marry a Nigerian girl.

Davash222:
That's not the biggest mistake..

The biggest mistake is to marry a Nigerian girl.

ellapius:
the biggest mistake for a Nigerian girl is to marry a guy who is not ready to marry. a Bleep boy. a jobless Bleep boy who believes his big gbola is his selling point

pDudd:
The biggest mistake is to marry any woman at all.

As a man, can you tell me exactly what you benefit from marriage that you can't benefit as a single guy. Tell me.

Davash222:
That's not the biggest mistake..

The biggest mistake is to marry a Nigerian girl.

Naija246:
the biggest mistake in my opinion is to even consider marriage

Guys should know that you will enjoy your life far better when you are single than when married.
Being single affords you the luxury of:
-developing new skills
-saving a chunk of what you earn
-it affords you the opportunity to travel more.
-you will age slower(due to less stress)
Etc
The benefits of single life for a man far outweighs the pros of being married.
We men are doing Women a huge favor by marrying them.

guys, don't let any lady sell you the idea that marriage benefits you.. it's a scam!!
Marriage benefits Women not men!!
Hoard your ring!!

aeion:
Considering all the begging threads on Nairaland from married people asking for money to feed their families, it's obvious Nigerians are getting married with little to no money or savings, and I'm very baffled by this!!!! You should be telling both males and females to each have a stable job/source of income and sufficient savings before getting married!!!!

Olude193:



Loooool


Wetin happen