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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Why Men Find It Hard Accepting Children Their Wives Had From Infidelity (7732 Views)
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Re: Why Men Find It Hard Accepting Children Their Wives Had From Infidelity by Kingarthur21: 8:27pm On May 24, 2020 |
Kuns84:ignore my post,I will ignore yours henceforth. 3 Likes |
Re: Why Men Find It Hard Accepting Children Their Wives Had From Infidelity by ibkayee(f): 8:28pm On May 24, 2020 |
rockstarB:I have acknowledged that both are terrible dear Scenarios: - Man cheats and has a child outside of marriage - Man brings child home and makes family (who may or may not be prepared) take the child in - Ignoring all the psychological and emotional trauma aside, OP thinks this is acceptable because the man can provide financially and the role of mother is disposable enough to just toss in replacement nurturers like a lightbulb Even though the woman isn't being deceived into a thinking the child isn hers, a child who she may not be emotionally/mentally prepared to take in is being thrust upon her, the child is also a reminder of her husband's infidelities...I'm not necessarily saying it's better or worse, but is it she suffering THAT much less than the man's scenario like some people are making out..? - Woman cheats and is carrying a child that doesn't belong to her husband - Woman doesn't tell husband and the husband is unknowingly taking care of another person's child for God knows how many years Very traumatizing thing to experience for the husband, many will argue that it's worse because he is being deceived for...a longer period of time? And that time and money would've been spent on a child that isn't his unknowingly. Is the woman not also using her resources on a child that doesn't belong to her? The difference is she's just forced to face it right there and then Like I said, they're both terrible scenarios, but perceiving one as less terrible doesn't necessarily mean it is 'acceptable' I feel like a lot of psychological implications are being dismissed, that's why some people think money is enough to just take care of everything (and I won't even go into how Nigerian men aren't these complete 'sole providers' that they keep saying they are online, that's another topic sha..because what if he doesn't have 'money'?). 8 Likes |
Re: Why Men Find It Hard Accepting Children Their Wives Had From Infidelity by bukatyne(f): 8:28pm On May 24, 2020 |
Mariangeles: Is this an 'African' thing? Do you know anywhere lineages are traced by the mother's side? If yes, how many? |
Re: Why Men Find It Hard Accepting Children Their Wives Had From Infidelity by ibkayee(f): 8:28pm On May 24, 2020 |
Mariangeles:Yup, I feel very bad for the children put in these situations 1 Like |
Re: Why Men Find It Hard Accepting Children Their Wives Had From Infidelity by Jullima(f): 8:28pm On May 24, 2020 |
sassysure:No, that wasn’t my point. He said if there are children from known affairs, only the one from the woman will be termed a bast*rd? That’s not so for all cultures. Isn’t the derogatory word “bast*rd” reserved for a child born to unmarried parents or a child who doesn’t know his father? My point is both are “bast*rds” if people are being objective and going to use either definition. If the man’s child isn’t a bast*rd because he/she knows his father then the woman’s child can’t be a bast*rd because the child also knows his/her own father. No man or woman should be made to raise one if they don’t want to. What happens here is that women are expected to, why? that’s the crux of this OP not all these derailing happening. 15 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Why Men Find It Hard Accepting Children Their Wives Had From Infidelity by bukatyne(f): 8:31pm On May 24, 2020 |
I keep seeing a man 'forcing' his love child on the wife and family. Nollywood aside, how many men bring their love children home when it is easier and safer to run a parallel family or keep the child/children with his parents/family? 4 Likes |
Re: Why Men Find It Hard Accepting Children Their Wives Had From Infidelity by Acidosis(m): 8:31pm On May 24, 2020 |
Are you asking whether I can accept a bastard and a cheating mother/wife? Are you normal @OP? This is a very stup!d question to be honest. 7 Likes |
Re: Why Men Find It Hard Accepting Children Their Wives Had From Infidelity by Kingarthur21: 8:36pm On May 24, 2020 |
bukatyne:who is irrational between you and I? Please go make dinner,your mind ain't equipped for intellectual discourse. You fit more in sweeping floors and mopping house than talking online 2 Likes |
Re: Why Men Find It Hard Accepting Children Their Wives Had From Infidelity by Acidosis(m): 8:36pm On May 24, 2020 |
Are you even aware that you can't hide pregnancy? Listen. A man can f**king cheat without anyone knowing. He can sleep with 50 women, get all pregnant and come back home to his wife and children like nothing happened. A wife can't do same without the belly protruding in few months. She would need to explain herself to "our" children before discussing the issue of acceptance. There are certain facts nature has placed upon you you need to accept. Fighting these "facts" could lead to ma.dness 8 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Why Men Find It Hard Accepting Children Their Wives Had From Infidelity by Kingarthur21: 8:38pm On May 24, 2020 |
Kuns84:a man whose wife has held him back from realising his goals is who is calling another a mangina? Rot in the jealousy you have for us doctors over here,we dont need dummies like you working with us 1 Like |
Re: Why Men Find It Hard Accepting Children Their Wives Had From Infidelity by Mstick: 8:38pm On May 24, 2020 |
So all "men" are meant to think alike on this forum?! Talk about monkey see monkey do Sheep mentality! ![]() Quote me if you're a fool. 4 Likes 1 Share
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Re: Why Men Find It Hard Accepting Children Their Wives Had From Infidelity by Mariangeles(f): 8:40pm On May 24, 2020 |
bukatyne: What can I say? Who knows how it's done in other parts of the world? |
Re: Why Men Find It Hard Accepting Children Their Wives Had From Infidelity by Mariangeles(f): 8:41pm On May 24, 2020 |
Jullima: Call it whatever you want, it is what it is. 3 Likes |
Re: Why Men Find It Hard Accepting Children Their Wives Had From Infidelity by Nobody: 8:43pm On May 24, 2020 |
ibkayee:Money isn't enough. And my stance still remains that it is easier for a man to raise his love child outside marriage than a woman, and this is the reason a woman will pin the child on the man in the first instance. ...a man gets a woman pregnant outside marriage ...he tells his wife about it and she insist on not being a part of the babys life, neither does she wants the child in their home. ...the man gets back to his babymama and raises the child outside his home. Let's assume the same scenario for a woman ...she gets pregnant for a man outside her marriage. ...tells her husband about it and he insist on not being a part of the babys life, neither does he want the child in their home. ...the woman gets back to the baby daddy... realistically if this happens, who is in a more favourable situation to raise a love child outside a marriage? A marriage in which the other partner doesnt want to be a part of the baby's life. Infidelity is bad, but the result of a love child isn't same for a man and woman. Neither of the partner should be forced into being a part of a love babys life, like you said it could be traumatizing and also lack of emotional preparedness. 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Why Men Find It Hard Accepting Children Their Wives Had From Infidelity by Jullima(f): 8:43pm On May 24, 2020 |
Mariangeles:Then stick to it and stop speaking for over a thousand cultures in Nigeria or hundreds of thousands in Africa. 13 Likes |
Re: Why Men Find It Hard Accepting Children Their Wives Had From Infidelity by Nobody: 8:45pm On May 24, 2020 |
Acidosis:very stupid question bro 1 Like |
Re: Why Men Find It Hard Accepting Children Their Wives Had From Infidelity by sweetmelanin(f): 8:47pm On May 24, 2020 |
Kingarthur21: Are you really a man though? ...you certainly don't sound like one 8 Likes |
Re: Why Men Find It Hard Accepting Children Their Wives Had From Infidelity by Nobody: 8:47pm On May 24, 2020 |
Acidosis:very apt, you can't rationalise nature's mechanics. 2 Likes |
Re: Why Men Find It Hard Accepting Children Their Wives Had From Infidelity by Kuns84(m): 8:50pm On May 24, 2020 |
3 Likes |
Re: Why Men Find It Hard Accepting Children Their Wives Had From Infidelity by Mariangeles(f): 8:51pm On May 24, 2020 |
Jullima: In the real world, things are still the same. All these online claims does not mean or change anything. 5 Likes |
Re: Why Men Find It Hard Accepting Children Their Wives Had From Infidelity by ibkayee(f): 8:51pm On May 24, 2020 |
rockstarB:I'm not focusing on debating which one is 'easier' There's a difference between it being easier and 'acceptable', OP claimed that the man has the right to bring the child in just because he has money. The entitlement and double standard agenda is clear, the fact that he dismissed the importance of the role of the mother was the cherry on top 4 Likes |
Re: Why Men Find It Hard Accepting Children Their Wives Had From Infidelity by Harshreality: 8:53pm On May 24, 2020 |
Not all baby mama's are that either Some can't raise kids and some don't want to rockstarB: |
Re: Why Men Find It Hard Accepting Children Their Wives Had From Infidelity by Jullima(f): 8:56pm On May 24, 2020 |
Mariangeles:Yea, I agree, in the real world the definition of “bast*rd” hasn’t changed. 12 Likes |
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