HELLP NAIRALANDERS

I will be brief with my writeup as much as possible so I can explain my connection with this lady.

My single mom gave me away at a tender age of 5 to her elder brother (financial difficulties i assume), this ''aunty'' happens to be the wife of this my mother's elder brother.

Aready they had 4 children, all boys.

The home was a tough upbringing with strict rules about socialising, we weren't allowed to bring friends home or go to friends places. It was pretty strict and my uncles wife i would say was the mastermind of it all, she was strict and mean maybe because it was a house of 5 boys.

Growing up in my uncles home, I wouldn't say I was treated diffrently because I always got matching outfits with my uncle's children during christmas, gifts during christmas, same portions of food BUT IN ALL I was always scared of doing somethings my cousins would do. I didn't feel free growing up, i felt diffrent from them. In some cases they attended the best schools than I (but I never attended a govt. school or a bad private school).

It's like if their school fees was 1m naira per term, mine would be 150,000 per term.

I lived with them until I was about 16 or 17 and one morning I woke up and they said i was going back to my mother at 15 or 16 like any kid, you would start to develop conscience (sense), maybe breaking some rules and being stubborn just like their own kids. This I assume was why they wanted to send me back to my mother OTHERWISE I CAN THINK OF NOTHING ELSE I DID WRONG OR DIFFRENT.

In all of these years living with them, I saw my mother as a strange person. I had no motherly connection with her. My anty to me, was my real mother. Whenever we went visiting my mother in very rare occasions, it was always awkward.

Well long story short, I found myself back in my mother's arms, to a new environment i knew nothing about and starting to learn to live with a woman called my mother. I was naive, had no choice but to accept realities on ground. Do you know that feeling of living in a pouch house and wake up next morning in a 1 room surrounded by thick bushes. Yes that was the change.

I was enrolled into a school, my uncle was repeatedly forced to send/ pay my schoolfees until i was in ss3 and i called him to inform him about waec enrolment. He told me on the phone ''all the exams i have been writing, how many have i passed'' and that was it. He never sent a dime anymore meanwhile at this point his children, my cousins were already miles ahead of me suddenly in education. When i left the home, the eldest son went to canada to school, the second who is my agemate was already in a private uni in Nigeria and the 3rd who i am senior to with a year is preparing to go to ukraine for school and years later the last born who i spoonfed and chewed meat for attended uni in Ghana.

Well long story short, since my uncle had failed me. My mother said it was time i go to my father. My father was old retired pensioner. My mother took me to him, as expected awkward encounter. I have never known this man, no memory of him. Well he said he would find my enrolment money and he did, he later passed on a year or two later.

I enrolled waec and pased in one sitting, thanks to miracle centres.

PS: i must say i was never an intelligent student. i wasn't even average but i wasn't the poorest and neither of my uncles children were better. We were all poor educationally.

Long story short another uncle sprang up and paid for my university diploma which i later acquiried.


YEARS LATER my uncle and aunty decided to move back to our home town, please note the home my mother stayed in was this my uncles home. It was the boy quarters, the main house was not even in sight as at the time i was returned to my mother. We did series of bush clearing and snakes killing lol. well my uncle returned home town after retirement and setup the main structure ( a 5 bed room duplex) and thats were they lived while i and my mother lived in the BQ.

I WAS very angry with myself that i happened to still live with them AGAIN, i needed to get out of their sight, my condition was bad. i was a mere teacher to some rickety school. In all of this my uncle's wife always ensured she knew what i was upto and she derived satisfaction when she knew i wasn't doing better than her kids who were all abroad. i turned to their errand boy again after years of neglect. i was very angry with myself and needed to save to get out of the house.

Well i did manage to save up and leave the house and i promised myself never to return to that house. i felt neglected, i felt they sent me away because the goodthings were coming and they couldn't bear to see me share in them because to me they were my parents.


YEARS LATER, my aunty was sick with cancer
please note before i left the home, my uncle and aunty always sent me to travel journeys to get them medicines from a monastry. i attended such trips severally and ran other seperate errands but i never dared to drive their car talkless ask for the key. i always washed their car in the mornings, i would never also dare to see myself in the living room of the duplex with the remote in hand. when they moved back to the hometown, that fear in my childhood started again but this time i was mature enough to know i would never m amount to anything in life if i continued this again hence the reason i needed to move out.

So my aunty sickness grew worse, the husband flew her to india and back but the sickness grew worse. in all of this cancer times i never went back to the house to see her. I only heard of her conditions from my siblings (my half siblings, my mother was married to 3 men in diffrent years and she had only me for my father, another for another man and 3 for another man, i was the lastborn of all).

Then my aunty died. The day she died, i saw her in my dreams and she was crying saying ''she forgave me''. A day or two later i went to my sisters store and she told me of my aunty death, i went to my rented apartment and cried profusely. i later summouned courage and maybe sympathy and went to my uncles house and i cried before my uncle and told him to forgive me too for all abandoning them all this while.

NOW ABOUT MY AUNTY SAYING SHE FORGAVE ME IN THE DREAM: i did not do her any wrong neither did i wish death on her. All her life her greatest fear was maybe i would become greater than her children. She loved these comparisms, i was never wicked to her, i never cursed her, i was never rude to her unless i some instances when she sends me errands and i tell her i have other things to do.... Otherwise i never was negative to her instead she is the one nobody likes, by nobody i mean my uncles family. Nobody talks good of her, they say she controls my uncle and also squandered his money but in all of this i never spoke of my experiences living with them and somethings they did wrong that made me feel diffrent, i did not even tell you guys neither have i told my mother ever. i don't see them as anything that would stop my growth in life. i hate to talk about the bad in people.

WELL BACK TO REASON THE TOPIC WAS CREATED, why do i keep repeatedly seeing her in my dreams even after her death and its always on a negative role. its either in the dream she still plays mother, or she is gossip about me in the dream or she is against me in the dream, just think of anything negative in a dream and she will be the mastermind. This is really beginning to worry me. Why is she still attached to me in the dreams?

After she died, her husband, my uncle started his own sickness but has been sick for years now, he is bed ridden. The family has repeatedly asked him if there is anything he and his late wife did in the past to amount such sickness were he is living in pain but refused to die and he would not answer. One time they said, he said ''it was out of ignorance'' and thats all he ever said about anything.

It will also be good to note that of all my 4 cousin brothers and i today, i am the most successful by far.

i just finished my house (a 3bedroom, 2 bedroom, 1 bedrrom bungalow)
january this year i bought my 3rd car.
i travel round the world effortlessly.
YES I DID TURN OUT FAR BETTER THAN MY COUSINS WHO YOU KNOW HAD THE BEST EDUCATION.

I don't want to talk of their conditions, lets concentrate on me.


So this is my much writeup... I had to skip many things so you can bear to read but please be free to ask me questions.

Why do I repeatedly see my aunty in my dreams.... just before this writeup, i had just woken up from another dream she was present in, she was whispering to the ears of a very good friend of mine and then the friends turned to me and was like '' ah cahrles na so you be''?...and i was angry and was like '' how can you believe something someone you just met told you against i your best friends word'' and minutes later dream ended and i woke up.

At this point i am thinking of going spiritual to know why this is happening but this will be a first in my life. There are two popular places i have never being in my life until lately last year... One is a shrine and the other is a police station. Last year was my first time to be in a police station.
I was driving my unregistered car. That was my offence.

It is well
You shall overcome

front page please @lalasticlala

Hmmmm....inside life!

1. Your Uncle and Aunty really tried for you. They collectively did more than your parents did so you should be very grateful to them. Get this and stop being bitter about it, it will help you further release yourself and them.

2. Comparing yourself to their kids shouldn't even happen...they weren't your parents, they were nice people who took you in. I understand how you might have felt differently though...thank goodness it was in the past. Everyone is running a different race...you apparently still think you and your cousins are still on the same track hence your conscious and subconscious comparison. Free your mind...move on and you will stop seeing their mother gossiping in your dream.

3. In your hearts of heart you still think you didn't quite do enough for them, hence the reason you kept dreaming about her. Free you mind, talk to a therapist if you have too or pray and speak with her in your spirit. You did nothing wrong... Have that conversation in your mind, believe it and move on.

May God bless you with peace...peace supersedes any other thing in this dear life.

sisisioge:
Hmmmm....inside life!

1. Your Uncle and Aunty really tried for you. They collectively did more than your parents did so you should be very grateful to them. Get this and stop being bitter about it, it will help you further release yourself and them.

2. Comparing yourself to their kids shouldn't even happen...they weren't your parents, they were nice people who took you in. I understand how you might have felt differently though...thank goodness it was in the past. Everyone is running a different race...you apparently still think you and your cousins are still on the same track hence your conscious and subconscious comparison. Free your mind...move on and you will stop seeing their mother gossiping in your dream.

3. In your hearts of heart you still think you didn't quite do enough for them, hence the reason you kept dreaming about her. Free you mind, talk to a therapist if you have too or pray and speak with her in your spirit. You did nothing wrong... Have that conversation in your mind, believe it and move on.

May God bless you with peace...peace supersedes any other thing in this dear life.

oh wow.
this has got to be my best read so far.
you maybe right about comparison because sometimes I feel anything my cousins are today is out of their fathers wealth and not a fresh beginning like mine. that's the only comparison I can think of
truth is for me I have blamed my own mother the most, you know for giving me out.
to be honest if I have anger for anyone on if I was treated differently, that anger will be on my mother.
and this has affected our mother, son relationship.... it's not there at all.
I am beginning to think I know what to do.

it's just poped on me after reading what you wrote. maybe my uncles wife is expecting of me like a son because I have refused to recognise my mother as my true mother. just maybe this is the connection that needs to be broken. I need to love my mother more and unconditionally.

I think I need to talk to my mother about how i feel. oh boy can belive I am teary just writing this sentence. I feel this is it really.

MODIFIED: I FINALLY SPOKE TO MY MOM ABOUT IT.

I spoke to my mother today and she said my cousins were crying they wanted me to stay with them at their base (this was after she and I, I was 4yrs old when we visited them the first time.)
at that time my cousins were 5yrs, 4yrs and 3yrs respectively.

so when they revisited hometown, on their way back to the base the kids were crying uncontrollably and my uncle and the wife couldn't bear it anymore and they had to turn back to come pick me up.

she said it wasn't that she couldn't care for me in a own little or do we say penury way (even tho I still feel as a mother she could have insisted the most but she did it of freewill. if you can't trust anybody with your kid at least not your blood brother)(but she has a history of her kids not spend childhood with her, so I find it as a cheap excuse from her)

years later she said she ask my uncle why he returned me and he said it was the devils work.

we just had this discussion tonight and all this while I tot she just begged them to cater for me.

You're thinking a lot about her and perhaps have a guilt that you abandoned them and that plays in your dreams.
What you need is to just be at peace with yourself and with your surviving uncle.Visit him when you can.You just need to be at peace with yourself and the people in your life(your mom and uncle).

thorpido:
You're thinking a lot about her and perhaps have a guilt that you abandoned them and that plays in your dreams.
What you need is to just be at peace with yourself and with your surviving uncle.Visit him when you can.You just need to be at peace with yourself and the people in your life(your mom and uncle).

thanks so much but I really don't feel that guilt like you said. I already begged my uncle to forgive me for that when I payed him a condolence visit. so I don't think I have that guilt

... and with my uncles illness now I am doing things way more differently maybe not at full force but it's different.

I am a happy man in life, it's just this persistent dreams of her and she's always negative in this dreams, that's my problem now. like someone said earlier, I shouldn't have any business with the dead in my dreams, not when I didn't have even the slightest wish for her death.

charlesELIKIBA:

oh wow.
this has got to be my best read so far.
you maybe right about comparison because sometimes I feel anything my cousins are today is out of their fathers wealth and not a fresh beginning like mine. that's the only comparison I can think of
truth is for me I have blamed my own mother the most, you know for giving me out.
to be honest if I have anger for anyone on if I was treated differently, that anger will be on my mother.
and this has affected our mother, son relationship.... it's not there at all.
I am beginning to think I know what to do.

it's just poped on me after reading what you wrote. maybe my uncles wife is expecting of me like a son because I have refused to recognise my mother as my true mother. just maybe this is the connection that needs to be broken. I need to love my mother more and unconditionally.

I think I need to talk to my mother about how i feel. oh boy can belive I am teary just writing this sentence. I feel this is it really.

Glad it makes sense to you. But try talking to a neutral person with wisdom before talking to your mother. Good luck.

charlesELIKIBA:


thanks so much but I really don't feel that guilt like you said. I already begged my uncle to forgive me for that when I payed him a condolence visit. so I don't think I have that guilt

... and with my uncles illness now I am doing things way more differently maybe not at full force but it's different.

I am a happy man in life, it's just this persistent dreams of her and she's always negative in this dreams, that's my problem now. like someone said earlier, I shouldn't have any business with the dead in my dreams, not when I didn't have even the slightest wish for her death.

Simply pray and banish every negative ties before sleeping. You don't owe her any apologies even your uncle sef. They are paying for their wickedness.

It's goes to say trying to blow out another's candle won't make yours shine any brighter.

Professorcplus:
By their words ye shall know them. Every word you type dispute of envy, bitterness, competition, comparison which is a bad sign of poor mental health

Lets turn the table around. Imagine you as a man bear responsibilities of a child owned by two irresponsible adult as a result of their wayward life style.

Made sure the child wasn't starved, was clothed, given quality education and still insist his wife must treat you like her child and not a slave. Made you part of his family even when no one cares about you.

Only for this child to grow up and blame you for his misfortunes...

You are ungrateful. The education the man invested in you is a waste. He brought you up to add value to the society but you choose to constitute nuisance to the society.

He didn't train you to compare you with his children.
He didn't train you to compete with his children.
He didn't train you to become a bitter man.
He has given you every basic need of life.
He trained you to become a good dad, good husband and supporting man, and reciprocate the love he showed you but you choose to hatred.

I will advise you to have a positive mental attitude towards their kids and people around you and stop comparing your success to their.

did you read what I wrote, if at all did you read to the end?
did you read the part I said this said uncle refused to pay my waec enrolment fee?
and how another uncle steps up to ensure I had a higher degree.
or you have comprehending disability?

CAPSLOCKED:
ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR HER MURDER?
FROM ALL INFORMATION GATHERED FROM THOUSANDS OF SPIRITUALISTS AND PROPHETS ON THIS FORUM IT APPEARS THAT YOUR LIFE IS IN GREAT DANGER FROM THIS WOMAN.

DO YOU DREAM OF DEAD PEOPLE?
DO YOU EAT IN DREAMS?
DO YOU SUFFER FROM GENERATIONAL CURSES, OR YOU'RE BEING FOLLOWED BY OCCULTIC SPIRITS AND DELEGATES FROM THE MARINE KINGDOM?

THE ONLY WAY OUT OF ALL YOUR SPIRITUAL PROBLEMS IS TO REALIZE THERE ARE NO "SPIRITUAL PROBLEMS", AND DREAMS ARE JUST DREAMS, AND CAN NEVER DETERMINE YOUR REALITY.

I WAS ONCE LIKE YOU. PARANOID ABOUT SPIRITS AND DEAD PEOPLE AND CHARMS.
THEN I GREW INTO A TEENAGER AND DUMPED SILLY RELIGIOUS AND SUPERSTITIOUS BELIEFS I WAS FED BY NIGERIAN NEIGHBORS AND RELATIVES AS A CHILD.
TODAY I'M DOING JUST FINE, AND GRAB A BEER AFTER EACH BAD DREAM OR THREATS FROM SO CALLED OCCULTIC PEOPLE... BECAUSE I DON'T BELIEVE IN NONSENSE.

I did not kill her own.
the attachment sef tire me.

SweetCunt97:
Simply pray and banish every negative ties before sleeping. You don't owe her any apologies even your uncle sef. They are paying for their wickedness.

It's goes to say trying to blow out another's candle won't make yours shine any brighter.

thanks

Going spiritual or running around from one place to another will only give you the problems you never thought u could ever have.

Let her remain in your dreams, she can't do nothing to u.

Foodqueen:
Going spiritual or running around from one place to another will only give you the problems you never thought u could ever have.

Let her remain in your dreams, she can't do nothing to u.

I know this... am not scared I won't lie. just worried why she's always in my dreams.

I didn't even wish her death sef.

charlesELIKIBA:

I know this... am not scared I won't lie. just worried why she's always in my dreams.

I didn't even wish her death sef.

Don't be bothered. When she/whosoever is wearing her is tired, they will go.

Did you know where her burial ground is? If yes go there and dig her grave, after digging it pour half modu of salt on her bones then set fire on it, Shikenan.

Balogunodua:
Did you know where her burial ground is? If yes go there and dig her grave, after digging it pour half modu of salt on her bones then set fire on it, Shikenan.

No way.

Professorcplus:

Not moved by your last statement though. I read your write-up twice and I never see where your uncle and his wife gone wrong. He sponsored you to the point of enrolling for waec exam and you developed hatred in your mind towards his family because of silly excuse.

Even if he sponsored your uni, you will still tagged his a bad person for not securing you a "good job". Quote me.

I repeat, you need to develop a positive mental attitude in your behaviour, thought and speech and never portray them as an antagonist in your story but instead focus more on your challenges and how you overcome it despite all odds to motivate someone and even your "future" kids.

Only if you hear other's people worse experience and yet they never form hatred to people involved. Remember what goes around comes around. If you postulate a harmful belief among your circles, sooner or later, your will be in their position and they will use same belief on you.

Count your losses and celebrate your victory.

you are still but a child.
I wouldn't trade words with you.

charlesELIKIBA:

I know this... am not scared I won't lie. just worried why she's always in my dreams.

I didn't even wish her death sef.

If your hands and conscience are clean, then you have absolute nothing to worry about.
Try to establish a relationship with your mother. She did what she thought was best for you.
Would you have preferred being with
her uneducated?

Modified:
Or could it be that you're the one comparing yourself to your cousins?
Do you harbour resentments because your uncle did not send you abroad like his children?
It could be the reason why you keep seeing your dead aunt in the dream.

Who will read all these long epistles? You no fit summarize am? But base on your topic, It is obvious that your have a strong connection with your aunty when she was alive. And these dream can be interpreted in two ways, maybe he want to communicate some Important information with you or the familiar spirit is using her image to infiltrate your life..in either ways, you just have been prayerful, build your relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ and abstain from sin..

Mariangeles:


If your hands and conscience are clean, then you have absolute nothing to worry about.
Try to establish a relationship with your mother. She did what she thought was best for you.
Would you have preferred being with
her uneducated?

Modified:
Or could it be that you're the one comparing yourself to your cousins?
Do you harbour resentments because your uncle did not send you abroad like his children?
It could be the reason why you keep seeing your dead aunt in the dream.

lol abroad?
I have being abroad myself ten times over.
no I don't have any resentments.
it's just an "I don't care feeling ".
as for comparison with my cousins, well that was my driving force in the beginning, now it's no competition whatsoever.

that being said like you asked,my conscience is 1001% clean.
i have never done anything diabolical in my life.

Glink2018:
Who will read all these long epistles? You no fit summarize am? But base on your topic, It is obvious that your have a strong connection with your aunty when she was alive. And these dream can be interpreted in two ways, maybe he want to communicate some Important information with you or the familiar spirit is using her image to infiltrate your life..in either ways, you just have been prayerful, build your relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ and abstain from sin..

thanks

charlesELIKIBA:

lol abroad?
I have being abroad myself ten times over.
no I don't have any resentments.
it's just an "I don't care feeling ".
as for comparison with my cousins, well that was my driving force in the beginning now it's no competition whatsoever.
I am miles ahead.

How does it make you feel knowing you are "miles ahead" of your cousins? Why was ever the need to compare your success to theirs?
Like you wrote, you uncle treated you like a son; the question is did you see him as a father?
How's your relationship with your cousins at the moment?

hmm.. nairaland don turn church?its well with u



anyways, i suggest u pray nd move closer 2 d widower, so he doesnt feel abandoned again

Mariangeles:


How does it make you feel knowing you are "miles ahead" of your cousins? Why was ever the need to compare your success to theirs?
Like you wrote, you uncle treated you like a son; the question is did you see him as a father?
How's your relationship with your cousins at the moment?

relationship with my cousins is there.
chat at intervals.
it's ok.
I feel like I haven't failed myself in life (that's how I feel knowing I am miles ahead), otherwise I would have resorted to avoiding them out of shame.
not comparison of success... don't misquote me. it was an urge to succeed atleast not become a product of anything negative that was expected.

no matter how close we were, my real parents are my real parents, they are my blood parents, I need to acknowledge this fact more.

she had a vision that you will be greater than her children. the reason she reject the vision and try everything possible of such to get rid of you and such a thing should never happen, same reason she is happy anytime she see your suffering below her children. its what God says that will cone to pass and not man. but most people don't know how to take it. even Joseph in the Bible his own brodas sold him.

she said she will never forgive you if you are better than her children. and before she died she already forgives you. but the reason you are seeing her its the spirit stuff she did ad she is diabolic. its the spirit that's is still trying to torment you but they will have no effect on you.
if any one did evil against you.you will constantly sees them negatively in your dreams.


you won't have gone far if you didn't take the decision to leave there

I am currently going through the same.

there is this man he is always at the negative end of my dream and I keep seeing him. he is not the only one. I want to concentrate on him and leave the other people because his own is kind of related to yours. the man is native doctor we live in the same compound during my childhood. his children are educated but not really productive. its not by education that makes any one successful, its the gift of God.

he has seen I will be greater. and I haven't had Peace.

but God will fight for me.

merieam16:
hmm.. nairaland don turn church?its well with u



anyways, i suggest u pray nd move closer 2 d widower, so he doesnt feel abandoned again

yes I do.

fineboynl:
she had a vision that you will be greater than her children. the reason she reget the vision and try everything possible of such a thing should never happen. its what God says and not man. I am currently going through the same.

can you expatiate and also tell your story please.

charlesELIKIBA:


can you expatiate and also tell your story please.

I just did. read it up again as I expatiate. when you keep seeing someone at the negative side of your dreams. and very frequently known that its not coincidence. it means that did diabolic things on you. even if they died you will never stop seeing them.

which trybe what she?