Drfernandez:


He was right. Actually, I wonder what you are feeling like. You really exposed your ignorance that day. And there is even a grammatical error in this your reply here, that you cannot see it shows your level of ignorance.

guy I have started following u like this.

adewalle1:
Send me ur numb,

OGUN PUNISH YOU THERE.

Positivechick:
I broke up with my boyfriend today,

I met him while I was serving, he was nice and the only friend I had, I served in a village. While we were serving he doesn’t give me much, I practically kinda fed him cause he was always in my place. He had a roommate and I didn’t. Before he gives me any money we always had issues, not like he doesn’t hv to give. He just doesn’t want to. I don’t even ask for much.

After service we continued dating, he had no job so I told him to get a teaching job he said never ever, he rather follow he’s friends up and down , I kept quite watching what his plans maybe, I hv never asked him for a dim since we finished service mid last year, got a teaching job so taking care of myself.

My birthday would be coming up, his just passed, I told him that I would be expecting some cash on my birthday. We talked today and he’s telling me he spent all he’s money for he’s birthday, that if money comes he will send but right now he has no money, placing me on the probability table, so I said u couldn’t keep the one u would send me, he said people were buying drinks and buying drinks and he couldn’t tell them to stop. Am like are u serious ? I had to remind him that my birthday is few days away and he started saying he won’t be able to send anything. I told him without him doing the needful that there is no us.

Am tired, he has no vision, No focus , no aim , he depends on his friends and it's annoying. I think about he’s future more than he does , he’s always in the present. He’s making me feel like a bad person that he would make it. I hope he makes it but the relationship is so draining and I am 100% faithful to someone with no sense of reasoning. He’s Saying I am dating someone that’s why I want to leave him. He isn’t even addressing the issue we hv on ground .

Thoughts??

So just because he can't pay your birthday bills that was why you decided to call it a quit? You are thinking about his future for him while he is trying to gather his life in this presence...


Like they used to say... Yesterday is history, tomorrow is misery while today is present that's why is called a gift, focus on today and stop helping someone to think about their future again... He is stingy might be that he is just trying to be careful so that he won't lose when you leave him one day or maybe he doesn't have the money at that moment and you also confirmed that he is still jobless... Since he doesn't have any money with him yet don't you want him to be humble to those that will help him and show him the way one day?

executive12:


How about a girlfriend? With all the Western education, most Nigerian girls still think like people that have never left their villages.

It should be reciprocated too....

Positivechick:
I broke up with my boyfriend today,

I met him while I was serving, he was nice and the only friend I had, I served in a village. While we were serving he doesn’t give me much, I practically kinda fed him cause he was always in my place. He had a roommate and I didn’t. Before he gives me any money we always had issues, not like he doesn’t hv to give. He just doesn’t want to. I don’t even ask for much.

After service we continued dating, he had no job so I told him to get a teaching job he said never ever, he rather follow he’s friends up and down , I kept quite watching what his plans maybe, I hv never asked him for a dim since we finished service mid last year, got a teaching job so taking care of myself.

My birthday would be coming up, his just passed, I told him that I would be expecting some cash on my birthday. We talked today and he’s telling me he spent all he’s money for he’s birthday, that if money comes he will send but right now he has no money, placing me on the probability table, so I said u couldn’t keep the one u would send me, he said people were buying drinks and buying drinks and he couldn’t tell them to stop. Am like are u serious ? I had to remind him that my birthday is few days away and he started saying he won’t be able to send anything. I told him without him doing the needful that there is no us.

Am tired, he has no vision, No focus , no aim , he depends on his friends and it's annoying. I think about he’s future more than he does , he’s always in the present. He’s making me feel like a bad person that he would make it. I hope he makes it but the relationship is so draining and I am 100% faithful to someone with no sense of reasoning. He’s Saying I am dating someone that’s why I want to leave him. He isn’t even addressing the issue we hv on ground .

Thoughts??

With due respect aunty, both of you are not serious because this pure misplacement of priorities.
You both finished service last year, he’s not working and you are managing.
At this stage it’s expected that you guys come together to plan ahead, get more certifications, start a side hustle to ensure your legs are strong before you start running.
Birthdays are celebrated at milestones that is why you see you people marking 40, golden jubilee (50) , 60, 65 and so on.
I advise young people that are not stable to some extent to always thank God for where he has brought them from and pray for better tomorrow. How could you as a normal person use your savings to celebrate birthday just to feel among only to get back home and wallow in penury?
Please think

OP
Hear me & Hear me well...

Positivechick:
there is one of his friends I don’t like , treats him anyhow. I told him to give the guy chance , he said that’s his best friend. He hardly listens to me

why must you decide who he associate with
Only control freaks posses such attributes

Maybe one day you would say you don't like his brother

Positivechick:
there is one of hes friends I don’t like , treats him anyhow. I told him to give the guy chance , he said that’s his best friend. He hardly listens to me

You cannot choose friends for him, but u can work on him , but be sure he truely loves u...You people need to work on your relationship , if its not working as u want , u leave him, don't forced urself on him else u will regret it mostly if he is not serious about yours and his future... If u understand yourselves and love each other genuinely, nobody will have to inform any of date of birthday celebration...It's day for lovely surprise... Those who fails to plan , prepare to fail...plan for urslef if at all.

Positivechick:
I broke up with my boyfriend today,

I met him while I was serving, he was nice and the only friend I had, I served in a village. While we were serving he doesn’t give me much, I practically kinda fed him cause he was always in my place. He had a roommate and I didn’t. Before he gives me any money we always had issues, not like he doesn’t hv to give. He just doesn’t want to. I don’t even ask for much.

After service we continued dating, he had no job so I told him to get a teaching job he said never ever, he rather follow he’s friends up and down , I kept quite watching what his plans maybe, I hv never asked him for a dim since we finished service mid last year, got a teaching job so taking care of myself.

My birthday would be coming up, his just passed, I told him that I would be expecting some cash on my birthday. We talked today and he’s telling me he spent all he’s money for he’s birthday, that if money comes he will send but right now he has no money, placing me on the probability table, so I said u couldn’t keep the one u would send me, he said people were buying drinks and buying drinks and he couldn’t tell them to stop. Am like are u serious ? I had to remind him that my birthday is few days away and he started saying he won’t be able to send anything. I told him without him doing the needful that there is no us.

Am tired, he has no vision, No focus , no aim , he depends on his friends and it's annoying. I think about he’s future more than he does , he’s always in the present. He’s making me feel like a bad person that he would make it. I hope he makes it but the relationship is so draining and I am 100% faithful to someone with no sense of reasoning. He’s Saying I am dating someone that’s why I want to leave him. He isn’t even addressing the issue we hv on ground .

Thoughts??

U re in a mixed road.
U likely fall for him cuz he is handsome.
And he knows that you are obsessed with him, that's why he keep being uncaring.
He knew, he is in control and you will always come back after he might have hurt you.
But the worst part of him is that he is pompous and too proud to do menial jobs .
He is forming ajebo cuz of his looks, yet he is broke and not willing to work for money *in Naija slangs.
Unfortunately, the hardworking and caring ones may not be charming as the #player #mrhandsome.
Such is life dear, delicate choices
The choice is yours.
But I advise you don't break up with him but try to meet new guys.
Then you can then make your choice.
Don't put your eeggs in one basket.
Boys/men (including me) are time wasters.
And you will be the abysmal loser if you break up later.
Best of luck

So you wanted him to be your source of livelihood abi?



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I taya for some girls abeg... When I started reading your lines I thought it's my girlfriend that wrote that because we had almost same issue today just read mine.

Lockdown affected by job bitterly I spent almost all the cash on my savings account within few weeks apart from my fixed, when we left home she really supported me infact she spent times 3. On our coming back we work separate places. This morning around 10 she called to remind me of her birthday which I know is next week she asked what will I give her I openly told her that I don't have money now and I have her in mind but if money comes before then I must get her a gift but if it doesn't I can't kill myself. This afternoon God just did it and I cashed out... up till now I haven't called her to tell her I got some money or something I kept it for myself because I know what's on my mind... Note July is my birthday. I'm the kind that will never do teaching jobs because my both parents are teachers and I have my reasons for that. So babe your guy is not lazy he might have some side hustle that gets him cool cash more than the teaching job. And he might have a surprise for you don't just run into the conclusion of breaking up your relationship because of ordinary birthday surprise unless you're fed up and have other cogent reason's.

Wait o, b4 u try t do motivational speaker on sm1's life, how is ur own life going, u don't even have vision, goals, ambitions for urslf and here u are forcing someonelse to achieve wat u can't so u can eat and feel entitled shey? U re being a leech, U see women like u are d type to first point fingers at how broke a man is, when infact if u actually cared more abut ur future, u could even be the woman dat dashes him money for bdaes I'm sure probably he doesn't have & mite be d Ist tym he hasn't lived up t ur expections.. Is it not ur fellow women that re buying 4 their Partners & Bfs cars, houses,.. All this gals don't knw d difference BTW encouraging someone to be a better version of himself and attacking the person psychologically...

PS I'm not anything & I don't point fingers at anybody ...

pocohantas:


You don’t tell him what you EXPECT on your birthday. You don’t do that. It reeks of entitlement and everything a sane human shouldn’t do.

u are not dating him , I am. u speak base on ur own relationship and life in general , But I bet u can’t deal with my boyfriend for even 6months . But yes o find faults . I shouldn’t tell my boyfriend what I want for my birthday! Someone who hasn't given be nothing for a year, and still didn’t use his mind ?? Nah I don’t agree with ur perspective.

www.nairaland.com/attachments/11617037_3846403_png28894044d03cc3ed574de0cd3ac14fa1

Positivechick:
I broke up with my boyfriend today,

I met him while I was serving, he was nice and the only friend I had, I served in a village. While we were serving he doesn’t give me much, I practically kinda fed him cause he was always in my place. He had a roommate and I didn’t. Before he gives me any money we always had issues, not like he doesn’t hv to give. He just doesn’t want to. I don’t even ask for much.

After service we continued dating, he had no job so I told him to get a teaching job he said never ever, he rather follow he’s friends up and down , I kept quite watching what his plans maybe, I hv never asked him for a dim since we finished service mid last year, got a teaching job so taking care of myself.

My birthday would be coming up, his just passed, I told him that I would be expecting some cash on my birthday. We talked today and he’s telling me he spent all he’s money for he’s birthday, that if money comes he will send but right now he has no money, placing me on the probability table, so I said u couldn’t keep the one u would send me, he said people were buying drinks and buying drinks and he couldn’t tell them to stop. Am like are u serious ? I had to remind him that my birthday is few days away and he started saying he won’t be able to send anything. I told him without him doing the needful that there is no us.

Am tired, he has no vision, No focus , no aim , he depends on his friends and it's annoying. I think about he’s future more than he does , he’s always in the present. He’s making me feel like a bad person that he would make it. I hope he makes it but the relationship is so draining and I am 100% faithful to someone with no sense of reasoning. He’s Saying I am dating someone that’s why I want to leave him. He isn’t even addressing the issue we hv on ground .

Thoughts??

Go get a job and stop being a leach

Positivechick:
I broke up with my boyfriend today,

I met him while I was serving, he was nice and the only friend I had, I served in a village. While we were serving he doesn’t give me much, I practically kinda fed him cause he was always in my place. He had a roommate and I didn’t. Before he gives me any money we always had issues, not like he doesn’t hv to give. He just doesn’t want to. I don’t even ask for much.

After service we continued dating, he had no job so I told him to get a teaching job he said never ever, he rather follow he’s friends up and down , I kept quite watching what his plans maybe, I hv never asked him for a dim since we finished service mid last year, got a teaching job so taking care of myself.

My birthday would be coming up, his just passed, I told him that I would be expecting some cash on my birthday. We talked today and he’s telling me he spent all he’s money for he’s birthday, that if money comes he will send but right now he has no money, placing me on the probability table, so I said u couldn’t keep the one u would send me, he said people were buying drinks and buying drinks and he couldn’t tell them to stop. Am like are u serious ? I had to remind him that my birthday is few days away and he started saying he won’t be able to send anything. I told him without him doing the needful that there is no us.

Am tired, he has no vision, No focus , no aim , he depends on his friends and it's annoying. I think about he’s future more than he does , he’s always in the present. He’s making me feel like a bad person that he would make it. I hope he makes it but the relationship is so draining and I am 100% faithful to someone with no sense of reasoning. He’s Saying I am dating someone that’s why I want to leave him. He isn’t even addressing the issue we hv on ground .

Thoughts??

re in a mixed road.
U likely fall for him cuz he is handsome.
And he knows that you are obsessed with him, that's why he keep being uncaring.
He knew, he is in control and you will always come back after he might have hurt you.
But the worst part of him is that he is pompous and too proud to do menial jobs .
He is forming ajebo cuz of his looks, yet he is broke and not willing to work for money *in Naija slangs.
Unfortunately, the hardworking and caring ones may not be charming as the #player #mrhandsome.
Such is life dear, delicate choices
The choice is yours.
But I advise you don't break up with him but try to meet new guys.
Then you can then make your choice.
Don't put your eeggs in one basket.
Boys/men (including me) are time wasters.
And you will be the abysmal loser if you break up later.
Best of luck

BayMc:



and the girlfriend has to be the main receiver?!
how toxicly parasitic, very myopic anschauung!

yeah, goodluck in her finding that dumb someone that would rather witlessly spend his life savings on one b*tch who has nothing buhh only pussay to offer.

Bullcrap!

A girl would reciprocate.... I feel like every Nigerian guy is at war with all the Nigerian women lol.... Cause y'all cannot air your opinion without hurling some demeaning words towards the female gender... I think it is rather childish....


The pussy is not just a thing... She's putting herself at risks too... Infections, STDs even her spiritual life....

Cheap, broke and poor girl na e u be.

Lamanii22:




Gestures matter in a relationship... A gift from someone you love gives you some kind of feeling... You lots are just blinded by redpolls and shii, you cannot comprehend a girl's sentence....

a gift?
oh'kay, right.
buhh it goes both way.
It's not as if "gifting" is something mandatorily ultroneous for the boyfriend alone.
The girlfriend should have this inbuilt mindset of this "gifting" as well.

no one is blinded by any fiddle-de-dee, and there's no tangible need to fuss over a girl's sentence as if it's gonna add a billion dollars into my bank account pls!

kalex0:


It should be a mutual thing.


The guy celebrated his birthday first.

What did she get him?

Lets start with that

You've got a point....

Positivechick:
I am not dependent on him biko

So why are you worried about him not always giving you money.

You think Dangote and co were not stingy they would have amount to something today?
Stingy to ladies are one of the principle of getting rich (weird?) Yes. Thank God you said he is nice some babes have been used for rituals by their extravagant boyfriends.

If he is not focused that one is understandable, you can open his eyes (if only your focus too).

James4bright:


Lol. Guy, most Nigerians girls are uninspiring. Most girls won't even want to settle with a man making a low income unlike the OP

But the OP seems willing to give the broke guy a chance. Hopefully they can build wealth together if he turns out to be serious minded. But the dude seems like someone who prefers playing around.

Not every girl can deal with your broke ass and still inspire you to get a job, no matter how low it is for a start. They would rather leave the moment they realize you aren't at the top of your game, without hesitation. She seems different.

She doesn't seem like someone who is excessively demanding, so how exactly is she a gold digger?

So your aim is to have a gf you won't spend a dime on? Even white women are demanding sef, it's just a feminine thing.

you are a SIMP.. not because of this discourse but because of the bolded

What's all this hitch about birthday celebration.
Are you a baby?
I thought you asked the modafucker to invest in your education or business and he has the fu...cken money and doesn't want to help.
This girl is really childish I swear.
Mtchewwww
Imagine a graduate crying for birthday celebration and gift
Some Niger girls shaaaa
They have lost it all not knowing where their priorities lies.
Hope you realized that Love is reciprocal
You didn't tell us the part you played in his own birthday celebration.
What did you offer
Tell me, who do you really want to impress baby girl??
Social media people??
You're are a lost case.
If it's money you need, find yourself a RICH BOYFRIEND
If it's love you need, find yourself a LOVING BOYFRIEND
If it's both, find yourself the "REAL MEN"
Stop disturbing us with your FINANCIALLOVE STORY Biko.
Good night.

Lamanii22:
A boyfriend has to be a giver.... What's now the essence of dating you when you cannot even give... You'd find somebody better my dear...

It is this attitude that keeps most of you till 40 and still looking for partners

Prostitute mentality

I'm only worried about her grammar for a teacher sha.
Who gives a fvck about her entitlement mentality for buyday gift.

.

In my humble opinion, you both are not mature. Anyway, please focus on yourself and your dreams. You already know what you want and its obvious this boyfriend can't give it to you.

If you think you want to spend your time grooming him to be a man and become responsible, please know it is not your job. Most people here think you are complaining because he didn't send money on your birthday but I understand its a much deeper problem.

You feel like you have to push him to take life seriously and become ambitious and most importantly make you a priority. If you are looking for a man that would be able to cater for you, and be a firm decision maker, you need to prepare yourself for such person. This person will obviously drag you back because he doesn't see what you want from him.

He is growing at his pace, your heart is telling you this is not what you want. You broke broke up, good.

Now let it go and move forward. Don't waste your time.

Hmm... This story is touching. But hear me out. Dating a woman does not mean I'm solely responsible for her welfare. To be honest, most times it's pressure like this that push guys into doing illegal and shallow deals. Not all u see on tvs and soap opras are real. U broke up with him. Tomorrow, the right lady that would brush him up would come.
In this Era I see no reason why this should be happening. It shows u didn't love him in the first place. Mind you before you criticize me... Love is all about decisions. So, from ur explanations, ur mindset of love is based on what he brings to the table.
Sister and sisters, love is all about imperfections and corrections. You left him at a very wrong time(I'm just saying)
How many of us Don listen ➕ watch Rude boy song reason with me.
Na so ee de be for so many ladies.

Meanwhile my girlfriend birthday is coming up next week and I don't have chi chi. Let me see if we will break up �

Ladylite:

Wow, you have really suffered.
But are you sure you don't have low self esteem?

For you to cope and continue with a burden of a man, with a man who is proud enough not to hustle.

Babe, you should really study more books on relationship so you know that you are not in one, you are in a disaster waiting to happen.

Don't waste your time. Walk away, he may blow later or become rich... It does not matter. Go and watch the movie ACRIMONY... Then you will receive sense.

You are in a relationship with Covid19 in human form. Pls have self respect enough to leave and stay single till you meet a man that complements you.

This one that u are saying he should watch ACRIMONY.. Lol.
Baba life no be movie na

Donwoosky:
I taya for some girls abeg... When I started reading your lines I thought it's my girlfriend that wrote that because we had almost same issue today just read mine.

Lockdown affected by job bitterly I spent almost all the cash on my savings account within few weeks apart from my fixed, when we left home she really supported me infact she spent times 3. On our coming back we work separate places. This morning around 10 she called to remind me of her birthday which I know is next week she asked what will I give her I openly told her that I don't have money now and I have her in mind but if money comes before then I must get her a gift but if it doesn't I can't kill myself. This afternoon God just did it and I cashed out... up till now I haven't called her to tell her I got some money or something I kept it for myself because I know what's on my mind... Note July is my birthday. I'm the kind that will never do teaching jobs because my both parents are teachers and I have my reasons for that. So babe your guy is not lazy he might have some side hustle that gets him cool cash more than the teaching job. And he might have a surprise for you don't just run into the conclusion of breaking up your relationship because of ordinary birthday surprise unless you're fed up and have other cogent reason's.

the birthday issue isn’t the main reason . Just that the birthday issue is so annoying and still fresh

airminem:
"Dont every settle with an insecured man ever"

Don't ever settle with an insecure man, ever.