rentAcock: Its not always about instilling confidence in your children. Some of the most successful scientists, innovators, inventors etc are shy introverts. Just let your child know you are there to support and guide them. For example, stop telling an average looking child that he's cute when he is self aware that he's just average. I see so many people on social media typing things like "aww such a cute baby" when they know rightfully well the baby is just average. Falsely boosting your children's confidence with lies will make them not trust your words.
You've got some good points there. I do agree with your point that building confidence should be tempered with honesty. But I'd like to respectfully disagree with some of them. Firstly, that shyness isn't always to be paired with introversion,even though it's a common misconception that they can't be independent of one another. Even extroverts can be shy, especially amongst new people. And for many, it's a behavioral response they'll always have to deal with no matter how good they are at socializing.
Secondly, is that your example of shy scientists seemed to imply that they were able to achieve such great feats without confidence. I may be wrong in my assumption. But I'd just like to point out that shyness in social situations doesn't mean the individual is without some level of confidence. As confidence in one's abilities(which is virtually indispensable if one is to achieve anything substantial) can be totally independent of people. In this case, it is self-imbibed.
Oluromantic: Good piece. But how many African parents are educated enough to understand psychology. How many of them are even exposed enough to be sensitive to the psychic effect of their child upbringing. Maybe some Lagos based educated parents sha, cus in the village, psychology is not understood. Rather they believe a child is the way he/she is cuz that's how his destiny from God is, from birth especially because a cele prophet prophesied that rain and sun will shine on the day he was born, that's why he's a calm or gentle type or that's why he has action like lion.
According to UNESCO 65% of Nigeria population are illiterates, that's why feminism can't gain grounds in Nigeria too. Until close to 90% of the masses are educated, the the psychology of parenting and feminism will be widely understood. Knowledge can't thrive in darkness. The mind has to be enlightened before it thrives. Nigerians are in educative darkness.
These tips have little or nothing to do with literacy or illiteracy. Its more of inherent wisdom.
Some literate parents do these things while some illiterate parents do not.
Its best to ask God for grace and wisdom when raising a child or children.
The richest and most influential men in the world can never be featured by Forbes. They're above such narratives.
The Gates are not among the 13 most powerful countries in the world - who own all central banks and control virtually everything, from food to technology to entertainment to the media, etc.
Rothschild Astor Merovingian Van Duyn Rusell Rockefeller Onassis Li DuPont Freeman Kennedy Collins Bundy
By the time you become extremely rich, you'll have had favours from a member of at least one the aforementioned families. Take it or leave it!
JourneytoEL: Do you know why many adults today are suffering from low esteem? It is because of their upbringing. This has affected their life choices in careers, marriage and even their faith, as they can be easily swayed away from the Godly life they were raised with to living a sinful life. Read on to learn helpful tips you can use to raise your little ones to be a Godly and confident individual.
1 Do not body-shame or insult your kids. Don't call your kids "dudu", "blacky" ,"hummer head" ,"wowo","blockhead" ,"big-mouth" ,"lekpa", "orobo-kiti", "ugly child", "Anya 4:30", "hammer head of horror" "idiot" "fool" "goat" "slowpoke"etc. If you are doing these already please stop it ASAP. Ha! Many ladies who are bleaching today are doing so because their parents used to mockingly call them blacky. Were you the one that created your child?, did she create herself? so why are you insulting her. These types of insults will remain in the minds of your kids all through their lives. That your daughter that you constantly call wowo will at the age of 14 have a toaster that will call her beautiful. Do you know what she will do? she will leave your advice and run into his hands just because no one calls her beautiful at home. Even as a joke, never ridicle your kids and caution whoever tries to do that.
2. Always call them by sweet names Always call your kids beautiful, miss world, mr handsome etc. Proclaim God's blessings on them by calling them child of favour, child of grace, blessed child,prosperity is your name, love, apple of God's eyes, 'uwa-oma', peaceful child, my joy, my firstfruit, future president get my phone from the room etc. You can even customize these names in your local dialect for your kids. Personally, i don't call my kids endurance, perseverance and patience, biko don't ask me why
3. Give them positive proclaimations to say daily. Say these statements with your kids daily at the end of their morning prayers. You can spice it up by jumping, hitting your chests, or shouting hurray to make them gingered. I am beautifully and wonderfully made (x3) I can do all things through Christ that strenghtens me (x3) I am blessed, I am favoured and I am a child of grace (x3) I am strong, i am beautiful, I am great, I can do anything (x3) My protector is awake. The protector of (INSERT NAME e.g ugo) never doses or sleep (x3)
4. Don't flog or scold your kids excessively Yes, the bible says spare the rod and spoil your child, but just as with all things, flogging or scolding your child excessively is very detrimental to their esteem. It leads to two things, either the child stops getting scared of been flogged or scolded or the child's spirit gets broken. He becomes a dummy, has no say of his own. He won't be able to speak out for his rights when been maltreated as an adult. On the either end, they can become narcisstic, beating up their spouses because they believe that is the only way to correct someone. Your kids are individuals with their own minds just like you. Learn to take them by your side and ask why they acted in a bad manner. Listen to their opinion and their point of view and correct accordingly. If you must spank use a cane and beat on their palms or buttocks. Please don't use your hands,belt,pepper,iron to slap or inflict bodily marks on them.
5. Treat your kids equally Always show your kids that you love them equally whether or not it is true. Not doing so can make them grow up feeling like they are not good enough. Don't show one kid more love or buy better gifts than the rest. This act can breed sibling rivalry that will last even after you are gone.
6. Preach and practice Godly values with them Teach your kids Godly values like love, peace, humility, forgiveness and how God hates envy, jealousy, lies etc. You can tell the first to forfeit his meat for the last, if he does without hesitation reward him with two meats. Tell the last to hug and forgive the elder sibling who spanked her. These values last for a lifetime. Remember to practice what you preach. You can't be beating your wife and be teaching your kids about love.
Lastly, endeavor to pray for them always. It is only God that can perfect our efforts. Please post some cute names and useful tips others can learn from in this thread.
JourneytoEL: Do you know why many adults today are suffering from low esteem? It is because of their upbringing. This has affected their life choices in careers, marriage and even their faith, as they can be easily swayed away from the Godly life they were raised with to living a sinful life. Read on to learn helpful tips you can use to raise your little ones to be a Godly and confident individual.
1 Do not body-shame or insult your kids. Don't call your kids "dudu", "blacky" ,"hummer head" ,"wowo","blockhead" ,"big-mouth" ,"lekpa", "orobo-kiti", "ugly child", "Anya 4:30", "hammer head of horror" "idiot" "fool" "goat" "slowpoke"etc. If you are doing these already please stop it ASAP. Ha! Many ladies who are bleaching today are doing so because their parents used to mockingly call them blacky. Were you the one that created your child?, did she create herself? so why are you insulting her. These types of insults will remain in the minds of your kids all through their lives. That your daughter that you constantly call wowo will at the age of 14 have a toaster that will call her beautiful. Do you know what she will do? she will leave your advice and run into his hands just because no one calls her beautiful at home. Even as a joke, never ridicle your kids and caution whoever tries to do that.
2. Always call them by sweet names Always call your kids beautiful, miss world, mr handsome etc. Proclaim God's blessings on them by calling them child of favour, child of grace, blessed child,prosperity is your name, love, apple of God's eyes, 'uwa-oma', peaceful child, my joy, my firstfruit, future president get my phone from the room etc. You can even customize these names in your local dialect for your kids. Personally, i don't call my kids endurance, perseverance and patience, biko don't ask me why
3. Give them positive proclaimations to say daily. Say these statements with your kids daily at the end of their morning prayers. You can spice it up by jumping, hitting your chests, or shouting hurray to make them gingered. I am beautifully and wonderfully made (x3) I can do all things through Christ that strenghtens me (x3) I am blessed, I am favoured and I am a child of grace (x3) I am strong, i am beautiful, I am great, I can do anything (x3) My protector is awake. The protector of (INSERT NAME e.g ugo) never doses or sleep (x3)
4. Don't flog or scold your kids excessively Yes, the bible says spare the rod and spoil your child, but just as with all things, flogging or scolding your child excessively is very detrimental to their esteem. It leads to two things, either the child stops getting scared of been flogged or scolded or the child's spirit gets broken. He becomes a dummy, has no say of his own. He won't be able to speak out for his rights when been maltreated as an adult. On the either end, they can become narcisstic, beating up their spouses because they believe that is the only way to correct someone. Your kids are individuals with their own minds just like you. Learn to take them by your side and ask why they acted in a bad manner. Listen to their opinion and their point of view and correct accordingly. If you must spank use a cane and beat on their palms or buttocks. Please don't use your hands,belt,pepper,iron to slap or inflict bodily marks on them.
5. Treat your kids equally Always show your kids that you love them equally whether or not it is true. Not doing so can make them grow up feeling like they are not good enough. Don't show one kid more love or buy better gifts than the rest. This act can breed sibling rivalry that will last even after you are gone.
6. Preach and practice Godly values with them Teach your kids Godly values like love, peace, humility, forgiveness and how God hates envy, jealousy, lies etc. You can tell the first to forfeit his meat for the last, if he does without hesitation reward him with two meats. Tell the last to hug and forgive the elder sibling who spanked her. These values last for a lifetime. Remember to practice what you preach. You can't be beating your wife and be teaching your kids about love.
Lastly, endeavor to pray for them always. It is only God that can perfect our efforts. Please post some cute names and useful tips others can learn from in this thread.
sunshineV: Incase u can't read epistle what the OP said is
We wouldn't believe in Christ and all the stories in the Bible because they don't make sense like jesus walking on water, Samson tore the mouth of lion with his bare hands, a small piece of stone killed Goliath, Moses parted the sea with his rod, Elijah flew to heaven etc because we have a fully developed brain and we can tell lies from truth but as a kid we can't, we just digest all the lies as it is and it become a part of us. Take for example
How do we know our parents are our true parents? Because we are told so. Because we grew up with them. Because we grew up to know them as our mama and Dada.... Same thing will happen if we were truly adopted.
My point is, all the Bible is us just a story book filled with stories for kids that why an adult won't believe such stories.
Thank you
. The gospel sound foolish to those that are perishing. But to those that are being saved, it is a good smelling fragrance. If u misunderstand any portion of the bible, google it and u will get the answer. Don't let ignorance rob your salvation.
Nigeria is the most religious nation on the planet. So indoctrinated in their ways are the minds therr that they believe it their duty to also shove tge same mess that is their belief into their offspring
. Do u prefer countries that see nothing wrong with same sex marriage? Nigeria is not the best though. Because what we have are mainly fake religious people. U need to see how they live outside the church, and even in the church.
This is the best post I have ever read on this platform. Thanks for this piece of advice for mothers and fathers. And also for prospective mothers in waiting and fathers.
FarmTech: Do u prefer countries that see nothing wrong with same sex marriage? Nigeria is not the best though. Because what we have are mainly fake religious people. U need to see how they live outside the church, and even in the church.
Why do I have to worry about same-sex marriage or any of the sins committed by those who are not of Christ? Did Christ say we ought to worry ourselves about such things? Well, I live in that world outside the church and I have experienced some of the greatest of kindness at the hands of those who don't even believe there is a God. Yes, some of the best people I have ever met have been people who do not care about the things of God and are focused on helping and being the best they can be to their fellow man. Some of the worst people I have ever met have been people who have one foot in the church of men. I have seen how people who are inside your churches live and I know there is a terrible curse on those who live as hypocrites in the name of God. I think I am better off taking my chances with those who are outside.
femi4: All the points up there had nothing to do with doctrine. These are everyday ethics
It is all doctrines of men because they are manmade rules that continue to fall short. If you want rules that won't fail, stick to the one Jesus Christ ALONE has given, and see the difference.
JourneytoEL: illiteracy has to do with the inability to read and write and i won't count it as the major challenge here. The major challenge is lack of awareness because even the so called educated people still do the same to their kids. Movie producers should produce movies that shed light on these issues rather than those boyfriend,girlfriend,maiden,prince,rich,poor endless story lines they keep acting. musicians ought to sing about these things instead of the gibberish they produce. What will it take a politician to forgo buying a luxury car and use the money to produce a radio jingle or posters in his local language for his community people to learn? What will it take lalasticlala to push something this enlightening to front page?
