Ningen:


It's not a race.
It doesn't matter who “walks” away first.

The PAIN is the same as long as you care.

Trying to seek comfort by convincing yourself that you made the choice to quit when clearly your hands were tied is delusional. Seek HELP.

Help whr? I really care, I can't handle emotional stress at this moment. I'm not usually this tender. Dunno jor.

MedicH:
you should leave him, i can see you have a lot of sense and the last thing you may wanna lose is your sanity. i don't know about all other issues you raised here, i'm no relationship expert but building castles in the air is not good for a man. I can use myself as an example, as a young doctor its okay for me to say i have paid my dues and deserve the accolades but i don't think that's enough. if i carry my laptop and hit the street with my niggars anybody can be like you sure say this guy go school? As a man i like all the good things but i can't get them by wishful thinking, my desires for tomorrow must match my actions of today

Thank you doc

tesseract:
You want us to help you convince yourself that you cheating and breaking up with him is alright abi?

Ok, please break up with him and let us rest. SMH. Let me get this straight...

You were in a relationship, but you allowed some other dude to toast you very well and slowly you lost your emotional touch with your boyfriend.
You don't seem to know how the mind works.

You had been cheating emotionally and you're finally cheating physically, Now that you are double dating, you feel it's OK to ghost him, maybe he will forget about you.

Finally, you don't want him to leave you but you want to leave him you think you're smart, but all I see here is the most confused person ever. How old are you again?

You already tried your former boyfriend and judged him before us, all you want us to help you do us to validate your decision right? Ok you have done well.

Please do what ever the hell you want to do.

But I'm just with one person, and it's that my friend. I'm not double dating na.. don't mind the way I talk, it doesn't give my actual age out.( I have left the other relationship)

Weird thread

Walking out of that r/ship may just be your best chance at self redemption/self rediscovery but you seem to be moving too fast... Friendship is a good place to start a relationship and I think you've started well except that I consider it too soon especially knowing that you're yet to properly heal from the impact of the last r/ship to start dating.

This is the reason for those awkward moments...

Apply the 90 day rule and you'll be just fine.
1-Take some time to rediscover yourself so you're sure this is not just a rebound.
2-Determine what your r/ship goals are.
3-Evaluate your values so you're sure you don't move in to a new r/ship with the needless baggage from the last.

Keep the new r/ship as just that and you can move it to the next phase after some time...say 90 days ( it's called the 90 day rule).

So u kept a dick in waiting just incase ur main fuckup abi? Now because after fault finding main u finally decided to release the waiting dick but unlike what u fantasized about its not as exciting. Instead of making ur relationship work ur jumping quickly to the already waiting dick. When we caution u about keeping dicks in waiting u think we don't like u. The time u would use to love urself u dey use am hustle the next available guy who has been praying n fasting for u to have irredeemable issues with ur guy so he can run game on u.. You have made ur bed, go sleep on it

OP, please are you up to 20 years?

Jane if I were u I do take break now lemme tell u u are not with this guy cause you love him it's cause you my is scared of been alone. you won't even love this your current guy cause you mind is somewhere else.

My take give yourself a good break and enjoy doing what you love doing.

dairykidd:
So u kept a dick in waiting just incase ur main fuckup abi? Now because after fault finding main u finally decided to release the waiting dick but unlike what u fantasized about its not as exciting. Instead of making ur relationship work ur jumping quickly to the already waiting dick. When we caution u about keeping dicks in waiting u think we don't like u. The time u would use to love urself u dey use am hustle the next available guy who has been praying n fasting for u to have irredeemable issues with ur guy so he can run game on u.. You have made ur bed, go sleep on it

the issue is with guys who knows someone is dating and keep disturbing them and most girls don't know that even their besties are looking for opportunities

Janeberryy:
I am planning on doing something but I want to double check if I am making the right decision.

I was in a relationship for 2years( in Feb it was two years).
- I broke up recently
- cheated on me twice
- have a hard time communicating with him.
- he lives in a dream(unrealistic goals like being president in 2023 and just earn A lil above 100k and he is young) I don't have a problem with being president but not in 2023 and I am evil because I don't believe it.
- has this bigger that life look but not as full as he claim to be. Publicly looks perfect and privately it's just mouth. I can't deal I like to be as I am. Grow before I blow, not blow to grow( get me?) (Gets him in trouble at times)

Part 2
I have been friends with someone else just when I met him and we have maintained the friendship since, when the guy above was messing up, he was there. I know his feelings towards me and I was mutual but I don't know how to double date and I can't cheat, so I told him to back off so I can fix my relationship ( we were having issues major onces and didn't want to leave I'm a sucker for commitment) [/color] I hope you are still reading, this is not a story I'm just trying to make it light. It even feels like a story as I'm typing because I have concealed my identity.[color=#000000]


Part 3.
This year my friend and I started talking again and I was already tired of my relationship, issues upon issues. Wasn't sexually attracted to him, I fake it all the time. Pretend to laugh at his jokes in public, I make faces when we chatting I can't air my views. Felt like I was in a cage. Spoke to my boyfriend then about it, no change.( Everyone thinks we are perfect).


Part 3b
So I was falling deep for my friend and he told me again how he felt this time I didn't push him away. He is not as rich as my bf but he was real and honest and I could be myself and trust him. So my boyfriend and I had another issue, so I walked away sharp sharp and told my friend I'm single then we started dating almost immediately. I think that's whr the problem began.


Part 4.

Then I was reminded constantly by my bf that I was a cheat before he saw our chat before I left, I cheated a wrong foundation (religious us)(still hidding my current relationship). Etc then I was always shy with my new boyfriend. I have not sense of humor around him again(only when we see, online I'm always chatty) I'm so not comfortable. This is the third time we are seeing, (today the third time) and it was the most boring outing I have every had in my entire life (because I do have strong feelings for him, I couldn't even look him in the eye, no conversation, it was so awkward)(even people I don't like I still enjoy myself because I pride myself in being free)(he even said he doesn't even know what we are doing).


Finally.
We spoke about it this evening how awkward I have been and he said he would get tired of trying and I feel I lost something. So before he breaks my heart because we have not spoken since and I don't plan on speaking to him for a while, I want to kukuma remove myself from the picture and let him stop trying and ghost him And let him go and start another relationship because I don't understand why my head will be thinking of being free with him and dying to see him and when I do I give the most uptight and awkward dates.


Please help me out, tried to make it funny so I can sleep tonight. Should I just walk away because I cant take it if he does.

When you start ghosting and quitting relationships, omo you go continue o. Just try to make things work. Baby steps

Darkzayn:
the issue is with guys who knows someone is dating and keep disturbing them and most girls don't know that even their besties are looking for opportunities

Dont mind them. They know exactly what they're doing. Especially with that besties ish... girls are very tricky and fast when it comes to such matters. Dont ever believe they don't know what they're up to. Its a well laid backup plan for situations that might arise

dairykidd:

Dont mind them. They know exactly what they're doing. Especially with that besties ish... girls are very tricky and fast when it comes to such matters. Dont ever believe they don't know what they're up to. Its a well laid backup plan for situations that might arise

and in the end it ends in premium tears....but still Sha some guys are not trying but u see that bestie ba na God go punish who bring am

Blitz888:
Walking out of that r/ship may just be your best chance at self redemption/self rediscovery but you seem to be moving too fast... Friendship is a good place to start a relationship and I think you've started well except that I consider it too soon especially knowing that you're yet to properly heal from the impact of the last r/ship to start dating.

This is the reason for those awkward moments...

Apply the 90 day rule and you'll be just fine.
1-Take some time to rediscover yourself so you're sure this is not just a rebound.
2-Determine what your r/ship goals are.
3-Evaluate your values so you're sure you don't move in to a new r/ship with the needless baggage from the last.

Keep the new r/ship as just that and you can move it to the next phase after some time...say 90 days ( it's called the 90 day rule).

Yes I think I moved too fast, I shouldn't have. Will bear this in mind(90 days rule)

dairykidd:
So u kept a dick in waiting just incase ur main fuckup abi? Now because after fault finding main u finally decided to release the waiting dick but unlike what u fantasized about its not as exciting. Instead of making ur relationship work ur jumping quickly to the already waiting dick. When we caution u about keeping dicks in waiting u think we don't like u. The time u would use to love urself u dey use am hustle the next available guy who has been praying n fasting for u to have irredeemable issues with ur guy so he can run game on u.. You have made ur bed, go sleep on it

I'm not sleeping on this one. Sure I made a mistake I don't have to live by it. Thanks

Trupz:
OP, please are you up to 20 years?

I'm 24

Darkzayn:
Jane if I were u I do take break now lemme tell u u are not with this guy cause you love him it's cause you my is scared of been alone. you won't even love this your current guy cause you mind is somewhere else.

My take give yourself a good break and enjoy doing what you love doing.

Maybe I'm scared of being alone, but my mind is not sonewhr else. I will do wat I love doing.

Darkzayn:
the issue is with guys who knows someone is dating and keep disturbing them and most girls don't know that even their besties are looking for opportunities

I fell for it

SweetCunt97:
When you start ghosting and quitting relationships, omo you go continue o. Just try to make things work. Baby steps

I dont think I have the energy to start explaining to him that we can work, that I would be better.

I am usually very sure of what I want. I am so unsure, that it's affecting now I think even outside relationship and I have bore that feeling since I broke up with my first relationship. Maybe I need time to grief, even though I was sad that I left the other guy(I don't want to go back o) I couldn't be sad because I was in a new relationship.

Thank you anyway

Offpoint:
Is your surname confusion?


You just don't know what you want yet... Still under 25

Offpoint, you know I'm confused already, you can even call my middle name confusion. You sound like you always know what to do all the time( if the answer is yes, you either doesn't make the choices or you don't engage your self in tasking activities)

Janeberryy:


Offpoint, you know I'm confused already, you can even call my middle name confusion. You sound like you always know what to do all the time( if the answer is yes, you either doesn't make the choices or you don't engage your self in tasking activities)

Relationship na tasking activity to you bah?

Janeberryy:


Maybe I'm scared of being alone, but my mind is not sonewhr else. I will do wat I love doing.

are you saying you are already in a new relationship? That's too quick ma'am

Janeberryy:


I fell for it

see any guy who knew you were in a relationship and still wants you never love you take it or leave it..... you need time to grief not a damn new relationship cause you little one you are vulnerable now

Janeberryy:


I have left the first guy, I'm with my friend now...

Maybe, he's just meant to be a friend and nothing more. I remember when I was still in those games....

See, if the two of you have chemistry, even on the first date, you'll lose track of time. Now, I don't mean anything sexual, though it's the endgame eventually. But if you can't hit it off with that person, .... I don't know. For starters, there'll be plenty things to gist about......many things so the atmosphere shouldn't be tense. You should feel comfortable in your skin when you're with him, you should be able to lose your person and not care when you are with him, you should be down-to-earth and own it! If it's not like that with him, I don't know.

Just be wise. I know an opinion has already formed in your head. Shake it off, keep your mind open to options and be sure you're making an informed choice even if it's similar with what's in your head at least you can double check. Good luck girl.

Darkzayn:
and in the end it ends in premium tears....but still Sha some guys are not trying but u see that bestie ba na God go punish who bring am

Lool.. that bestie na another code for fwb. So the mumu boyfriend no go suspect the other male friend when dey always dey with him chick. Some girls are stupid and will continue to suffer the consequences of their stupidity..

dairykidd:


Lool.. that bestie na another code for fwb. So the mumu boyfriend no go suspect the other male friend when dey always dey with him chick. Some girls are stupid and will continue to suffer the consequences of their stupidity..

you self grab am now told my babe nothing that bestie go wey I no go do I no wan see you with any bestie

Darkzayn:
are you saying you are already in a new relationship? That's too quick ma'am

Yea, almost immediately, haven't done that before. Thought it would work out, we have such good friends. You should see us chat.

Darkzayn:
see any guy who knew you were in a relationship and still wants you never love you take it or leave it..... you need time to grief not a damn new relationship cause you little one you are vulnerable now

I feel raw(tender). Like an open wound and still running. Thanks

placeofallure:


Maybe, he's just meant to be a friend and nothing more. I remember when I was still in those games....

See, if the two of you have chemistry, even on the first date, you'll lose track of time. Now, I don't mean anything sexual, though it's the endgame eventually. But if you can't hit it off with that person, .... I don't know. For starters, there'll be plenty things to gist about......many things so the atmosphere shouldn't be tense. You should feel comfortable in your skin when you're with him, you should be able to lose your person and not care when you are with him, you should be down-to-earth and own it! If it's not like that with him, I don't know.

Just be wise. I know an opinion has already formed in your head. Shake it off, keep your mind open to options and be sure you're making an informed choice even if it's similar with what's in your head at least you can double check. Good luck girl.

I would be stiff like a log of wood, even while talking. Everything is work. Thanks sis.

dairykidd:


Lool.. that bestie na another code for fwb. So the mumu boyfriend no go suspect the other male friend when dey always dey with him chick. Some girls are stupid and will continue to suffer the consequences of their stupidity..

We never saw, I never cheated or do anything with him. Let me let you continue your discussion sef.

Darkzayn:
you self grab am now told my babe nothing that bestie go wey I no go do I no wan see you with any bestie

The truth be say if u no fit be ur babe bestie and lover omor no even reason am say na ur own oo... probably na just help una dey help una selves. She's suppose to enjoy ur company, be fvcking free around u, be able to say and do wtv in ur presence otherwise confirm ur position for the matter

Janeberryy:


Yea, almost immediately, haven't done that before. Thought it would work out, we have such good friends. You should see us chat.

but have you end the relationship? Yeah it's good you see for yourself that it did not work out that's cause u were not ready and he make use of that opportunity

Darkzayn:
but have you end the relationship? Yeah it's good you see for yourself that it did not work out that's cause u were not ready and he make use of that opportunity

Know I know o.. he was sharp, I don't blame him too, i should have made a more mature choice of waiting