BosyBabe:
Good day, after going through a lot of back and forth within myself I finally decided to put my story out there. This is not in a bid to garner sympathy but in the hope that my story could help someone get out of a similar situation.

Growing up as a young lady in Nigeria is quite difficult especially one who receives a lot of male attention. I experienced a lot of abuse while growing up. I was beaten, fingered, molested and harassed as early as age 4. At a point I tried to speak up but I wasnt believed so I became accustomed to it and didnt bother to mention it

A friend of his saw us and came up to us and asked me to just hear the guy out. I finally agreed because I was so exhausted and drained. They both suggested that I and the guy go and talk in his friends room which was just across the road. I agreed and we went in, I sat on the bed and listened. This guy proceeded to kneel and beg me to date him, I agreed just so he would let me be.

The next thing I knew was that he had jumped on me and started groping me. I struggled, cried and pleaded with him but he didnt stop. He went on to rip my trousers open and pull off my panties. I struggled furiously and even tried to screamed but that earned me some dirty slaps. I felt defeated. All I could think of was how much I hated the helplessness I felt which was so similar to what I felt as a child.

Suddenly, a thought popped into my head about a rape survival story I had seen a while back, I decided to try it out. I stopped struggling and just acted calm, I guess he took that as good sign and stopped hitting me. He held my two hands with his one hand and used the other to pull down his trouser. He then began to rub himself on me, I prayed and made a split second decision. I pulled my knee up and hit him in the balls as hard as I could before he could recover I pushed him off, jumped up and began to scream as loud as I could, I carried a standing fan which was close by and smashed every single thing I could in the room. People came rushing in and that's how I was saved. It was so crazy that a guy had to help me with something to cover up because I didn't even realize that I was naked from the waist down.

A few years later, I had my second near-rape encounter. One night while going to the hostel after seeing a friend, I was accosted by a security personnel. He claimed that I was out too late and he would have to take me to the security office, I was surprised because that was around 9pm and there were still other people around so I argued with him, a colleague of his intervened and insisted that I follow them to the security office.

I agreed to go but I kept my distance from them. While walking, the security officer suddenly pushed me into a dark corner, pressed himself against me and began to tell me all the things he was going to do to me for arguing with him. I began to struggle and cry, I couldn't believe this was happening again. He tore my gown open and then my panties. When I tried to cover myself, he slammed my head and hands against the wall with such force that my wristwatch broke.

Once again faced with a situation I felt helpless to do anything about, I calmed myself down and said a silent prayer. I then began to pet him. I told him I wanted this too but it was all to sudden, he didnt listen to me at first but went on to pull down his trousers he then tried to penetrate me but i kept begging him that we should please hold off a bit
me

Despite years of abuse, these two events helped me see that I didnt have to always be a victim but that I can also be a victor. I was not as helpless as I thought.

The major point I would like to point out from my story is that aggression is not always the best option, often at times we can fight these rapists by being calm and rational. I went on to watch rape survival stories and realized that so many rape survivors avoid being raped, killed or further harmed by trying to reason with their attackers.

Also, allowing an attacker feel that he is in control can give one the opportunity to take him unawares and take back control. Being angry, fighting back, insulting him or threatening to expose him when the opportunity comes can just lead to more violence or him even going as far as trying to shut you up permanently.

Zabiboy:

I read only the first two paragraphs and discovered this same story has been used before by other girls....
Anyways, whats my business.
You stood on the road arguing from 5pm till 8pm, you didnt know when night reach ...you tried calling the attention of passers-by but they ignored bcz the guy has paid them to ignore bah...
IT IS WELL...

illicit:
You really need to stop walking alone. If on campus, walk with a girlfriend, if off campus, you should probably get a dog.

It seems there's something about u that fascinates rapists

Kyom20:

As funny as it may seem I actually tried to stop a bike man but he paid him off.

Officialgarri:
I think the issue here is, you probably smile too much. For you to even stand arguing with a guy for 3hours in broad daylight and people didn't intervene shows your body language doesn't express your pains.

And why does the guy above have to quote the entire post?

astonishments:


For 3 hours? Its either you are lying or not telling the whole truth.

funmisticqueen2:
still trying to blame her abi.

There's almost no girl/lady/woman who has not been sexually harassed by a man who doesn't respect boundaries.

I've learnt that the way out in such a situation is to be as calm as possible, because as a woman, in the face of an attacker, you suddenly realise how powerless you are in terms of physical strength.

What has worked for me is not to fight but be brain smart, try and see if he has weapons or anything that can be used as a weapon around. Next, is there an available exit? is the door locked? If there is, that is not the time to be doing mike tyson. Try to talk and reason with the person, make yourself less threatening so that he loses his guard. After which you strike.

A method i have employed twice is to first bite his nose or mouth, this will enable him to free his hands from you or at least lossen them. Immeadiately clap your hands hard on both ears. HARD. This move guarantees that he will start to hear ringing. He will momentarily lose balance, then you kick high, either for the balls or his stomach, if he has crouched in a posture them, go for the neck instead. This results in an uppercut that will increase space between you.

Now run, and scream, FIRE. That will gather people around.


Rapists gain power when you become the victim, they prey on the weak and powerless, people that cannot fight back and this fuels their ego.

Take that power back from them.

Justbehave:
I can't fit laugh ooo. Madam Jacky Chan.Welldone oo

funmisticqueen2:
well, this is not a jackie chan something. It's simple self defense.
I never want to feel that powerless again

funmisticqueen2:
why?

illicit:


Because of her previous encounters

illicit:
You really need to stop walking alone. If on campus, walk with a girlfriend, if off campus, you should probably get a dog.

It seems there's something about u that fascinates rapists

Lightangel64:


Better walk with a guy/guys friend if its dark, cause if you walk with your lady friend what stops them from raping you both

funmisticqueen2:
still trying to blame her abi.

There's almost no girl/lady/woman who has not been sexually harassed by a man who doesn't respect boundaries.

I've learnt that the way out in such a situation is to be as calm as possible, because as a woman, in the face of an attacker, you suddenly realise how powerless you are in terms of physical strength.

What has worked for me is not to fight but be brain smart, try and see if he has weapons or anything that can be used as a weapon around. Next, is there an available exit? is the door locked? If there is, that is not the time to be doing mike tyson. Try to talk and reason with the person, make yourself less threatening so that he loses his guard. After which you strike.

A method i have employed twice is to first bite his nose or mouth, this will enable him to free his hands from you or at least lossen them. Immeadiately clap your hands hard on both ears. HARD. This move guarantees that he will start to hear ringing. He will momentarily lose balance, then you kick high, either for the balls or his stomach, if he has crouched in a posture them, go for the neck instead. This results in an uppercut that will increase space between you.

Now run, and scream, FIRE. That will gather people around.


Rapists gain power when you become the victim, they prey on the weak and powerless, people that cannot fight back and this fuels their ego.

Take that power back from them.

funmisticqueen2:
the same guy you are walking with for protection can rape you too.

funmisticqueen2:
i can relate with her story. Many guus can just wear someone down with their pestering. He was the definition of obsessed.

funmisticqueen2:
the same guy you are walking with for protection can rape you too.

funmisticqueen2:
So she should live her life in fear of men?

Should I be afraid of you then? See you and your fellow men as nothing more than wild animals? Maybe carry a knife around?

They don't deserve to have that power over me.

Since a man cannot protect anymore, then there really is no point having you around.

Justbehave:
Does it mean all guys are potential rapist and not to be trusted including your man?

Lightangel64:


Better walk with a guy/guys friend if its dark, cause if you walk with your lady friend what stops them from raping you both

BosyBabe:

What we are saying is that there are ways of women defending themselves without having to rely on a man who might take advantage of her as well