Amotolongbo:
We should learn how to separate business from personal life.

She is your sales girl, relate with her strictly on business and show less concern on her personal life.

The way I’m reading your message, there is already a growing emotion in you already towards the girl, the reason you felt so highly disappointed and wanna lay her off, not because she is underperforming but the way she chose to live her life, which should be less of your concern.

In as much she is performing her responsibilities to your satisfaction and not using her “wayward” life to affect your business like she did the first time she went for abortion, leave her alone.

The only reason why you can lay her off is if she goes on abortion again and that makes her to take a time out of work and underperforming.

U ARE VERY WRONG PLS. THERE IS A MORAL BURDEN UPON HIM TO ACT. The Salesgirl need be Schooled on Morals. There's no how,her Performance at work won't be affected,Pls. Oga act fast and challenge her to her face for d help of God to change her immoral and Hypocritical lifestyle. Thanks.

Op, you have a moral obligation to council her. On a good day, sit her down with your wife and tell her that you observed that some things are wrong with her. You need not tell her the source of your findings but let her know that you found out that she has been sleeping with different men and has carried out abortion.
Tell her that you are not condemning her but you only want her to know how it ruin her future, her life and negatively affect her job or even her relationship with your family if she continues with it. let her know
Reassure her that it will remain a secret between you, your wife and her. Encourage her to desist from such life style and if she wants, let her choose one of those guy as a life partner and work towards marriage. You can ask her to invite anyone she likes and you talk to the guy and advise and encourage him to get married if you asses him and found him matured enough to marry. Sometimes these guys are matured to marry but due to fear of unknown, they will still be delaying and messing around only to regret later.
Your stumbling into her privacy sometimes is the revelation you needed to intervene and impact positively in her life and that of the men misbehaving with her. In as much as you never had any bad intention about it. We shouldn't expect God to always come down from heaven and give or show us something as revelation.
You have a life to save and God will bless and reward you if you do.
Don't mind the our contemporary society that will tell you to mind your business and when it is late and things must have gotten out of hand, they will turn around to blame God or devil.
What if you minded you business and didn't have the privileged to know and one of the abortions failed or becomes complicated, and if she could dies in you shop, you become Suspect #1. You will write statement for Nigerian police.

[quote author=Dybala11 post=90391683]
[You can enter and check the room since you owned the house, but you don't own the house help sir. OP has little next to no right over controlling the lady's privacy.[/quotes]
She has no privacy. That phone doesn't belong to her.

Forget what you saw. You weren't suppose to see it in the first place. Consider your business a multinational one, you will only care about delivery not personal one. Don't let small girl kill you and your business.

OritaIbadan:
I employed this 21years old lady last year as a sales rep. At resumption to work she appeard so decent and godly always With her Bible and Sunday school manual. I was really impressed by her spiritual and respectful nature. This made me treat her different from others. I buy her things and sometimes gives her money and always discuss her good life style with my wife. But what amazed me was that my wife was so indifferent about her each time I discuss her my wife will quickly change the topic. I thought, well woman with their naughty behavior towards other women.

Fast forward to June first this year her phone was stolen and I have a phone in office that I allow them access to incase their phone is off I can easily reach them through it. This faithful day, I tried to access my Facebook account using the office phone and found out that this same lady had used it but forget to logout. Well, I knew it was wrong to check her inbox but all the same I did.

After checking her inbox I couldn't sleep all night. I found out that she is having unprotected sex with 5 guys each guy per Sunday and she just did an abortion March this year the very day she told me that she was sick and can't make it to work and she wasn't sure who among the guys that impregnated her. I also found out that she had missed her period again and trying to hang it on one of the boys. The amazing thing is that non of these guys suspects her, they all believe she is a faithful girl friend.

I have thought of relieving her of her job, but my wife is asking me what should I give as reasons. But the truth is that I had never winessed such a wayward life before. If I pretend as though I know nothing she will eventually commit another abortion and continue with such life which is very dangerous at her age. What if she is my own daughter?

Please I want the mode to push this to the front page. I want to seek others opnion about it

I don't know what concern you about her private life,it seems you have interest in her but now you are disappointed.mr nice guy.

Help me give her this token,tell her she do well by disappointing you completely.am happy for your wife it could have been another story by now.

if i asked this guy how much is he paying this girl as salary monthly which i know it can't be upto 15k and u are forming lord of the ring... she is your sales girl not your wife or sister, learn to mind your own business... respect people's privacy �, cause u can't show us your own privacy and u are reading someone else's own, if u can't sleep then go and drink sniper

BlueAir:
Leave the wayward girl be. It's herself she's doing not you or your business.keep using her for sales.you can sack her when she's turning ur shop to brothel or hookup centre

Are you alright?

its apalling how that nairaland,google,... have taken the place of holyspirit(myself included)...Pray for her sir and if you are led to speak to her,then go ahead sir.Afterall,He is the great teacher.
Moreso,you cant unseen what you saw.Could it be that its for a purpose,...You can only find out in your secret place sir.
Btw,i understand your worries.
Remain blessed sir!

[quote author=thesmallgod post=90391761][/quote]
OK, but I was referring to OP's stance in the matter, he sounds as if he owns the girl because she's working at his shop as a salesgirl. That mentality is totally wrong, so far her actions does not negatively affect her efficiency and OP's business, the best and only action OP should/can take is to advice her. Once her productivity/efficiency starts to drop cos of her waywardness and choices, OP can/should go ahead to sack her.

thesmallgod:

So if you own a house and recruit an house help, you want to tell me it is wrong for you to enter and check her room

what are entering the househelp room for? A house help is an employee and has thier right even if they live in your house. Just as the same way househelp are not supposed to go into your private rooms without your permission, you don't have any right to enter thier room as it's thier own personal space unless they invite you in. If you go into your househelp room whenever you want, wouldn't it mean you're now sharing the room with them? This is actually the first step, then, after those househelp start getting raped cuz their no respect and boundaries. The only time you can enter a househelp room is if they are suspect for sth and this should be done with another adult in sight as a witness.

I don't know u.
But u started developing interest cos of her lifestyle in your office.

That allowed u click click into her personal file. Let's take it that the grace led u.

Since u like her and want to treat her as a daughter.

Call her to order.

Don't sack her since she is doing your work well.

Put her through and let her have a sense of belonging.

Maybe she doesn't have people guiding her.

And that is wat brought her to ur office to work. As the spirit leads

mind your business has led to more prison inmates in the US

Nothing happens for just happening sake, it could be that God sent her to your family to change her, As a father and a child of God counsel her don't push her away.... Give her fatherly Advice and Godly directions.

so many church goers all around the world today but few who practice to be christ-like.



Christ is coming Again and Soon,pls let's live in that consciousness every single day.

@GodisFirst wisdom will not kill you sir! You spoke quite well sir.

With the economic brunch in Nigeria, it's only God will save the average Nigerian girl from meandering.

Most do these just to get by.
Not that i support it.

Syrusvirus:
mind your business has led to more prison inmates in the US

oh it's no longer racism? Can you explain what you mean?

OritaIbadan:

Alright just thinking as a father is it the best

are you her father

Nezzjnr:
You guys are saying OP should mind his business... For what exactly??
Didn't you see where OP stated that he's like a Fatherly figure to her and she's different from the others

This girl is still a minor working as a sales rep... If something bad happens to her... All fingers will be pointing towards OP.

21 is not a minor, stop sounding ridiculous,the OP invaded her privacy,
everyone has a private life to live and so long as they don't want to share it, no one has the right to invade, talk more of judge.....has she ever poked her nose into the OP's affairs?
if her private life ain't affecting your business, just act like you know nothing, that's what bosses do...

Nezzjnr:
You guys are saying OP should mind his business... For what exactly??
Didn't you see where OP stated that he's like a Fatherly figure to her and she's different from the others

This girl is still a minor working as a sales rep... If something bad happens to her... All fingers will be pointing towards OP.

Hypocrite is no longer 18 years they've shifted it ..

Nezzjnr:
You guys are saying OP should mind his business... For what exactly??
Didn't you see where OP stated that he's like a Fatherly figure to her and she's different from the others

[b]This girl is still a minor [/b]working as a sales rep... If something bad happens to her... All fingers will be pointing towards OP.

Sir, 21 years is a full adult. Not a minor. Sadly, many girls are doing what she's doing at 17 already. Na today?

I am legit surprised at the level of moral decadence in some of the responses, and this is a typical reflection of our society. This is exactly how people have minded their business until someone became a rapist, minded their business until people became prostitutes, minded their business until lives are ruined. Where has all of our minding of business led us to? Very few of us are really our brother's keeper. The OP has accepted that what he did was wrong in snooping on her privacy, but does that change the fact of what he discovered? A lot will be different in our society if we actually treated others like our brothers and sisters. We are told that we can't put new wine in old wine skin, yet we expect a world with no rapist or feminist or patriarchists and other dysfunctional behaviour we see in society without changing the behaviour and attitudes that created such things. God will help us all.

OP I agree with every one who says you should speak to her, this may be the turning point in her life which in a few years she can reflect on as when her life really changed for good. All these people saying you should mind your business will go and type rip if she ends up dying, don't listen to them. You and your wife have the opportunity to correct in love and model the kind of behaviour Jesus would have wanted. Please speak with her in a loving manner and try to help her see reason, her past mistakes are not a death sentence, but staying in them might be. Cheers and all the best

OritaIbadan:
I employed this 21years old lady last year as a sales rep. At resumption to work she appeard so decent and godly always With her Bible and Sunday school manual. I was really impressed by her spiritual and respectful nature. This made me treat her different from others. I buy her things and sometimes gives her money and always discuss her good life style with my wife. But what amazed me was that my wife was so indifferent about her each time I discuss her my wife will quickly change the topic. I thought, well woman with their naughty behavior towards other women.

Fast forward to June first this year her phone was stolen and I have a phone in office that I allow them access to incase their phone is off I can easily reach them through it. This faithful day, I tried to access my Facebook account using the office phone and found out that this same lady had used it but forget to logout. Well, I knew it was wrong to check her inbox but all the same I did.

After checking her inbox I couldn't sleep all night. I found out that she is having unprotected sex with 5 guys each guy per Sunday and she just did an abortion March this year the very day she told me that she was sick and can't make it to work and she wasn't sure who among the guys that impregnated her. I also found out that she had missed her period again and trying to hang it on one of the boys. The amazing thing is that non of these guys suspects her, they all believe she is a faithful girl friend.

I have thought of relieving her of her job, but my wife is asking me what should I give as reasons. But the truth is that I had never winessed such a wayward life before. If I pretend as though I know nothing she will eventually commit another abortion and continue with such life which is very dangerous at her age. What if she is my own daughter?

Please I want the mode to push this to the front page. I want to seek others opnion about it

OritaIbadan:
I employed this 21years old lady last year as a sales rep. At resumption to work she appeard so decent and godly always With her Bible and Sunday school manual. I was really impressed by her spiritual and respectful nature. This made me treat her different from others. I buy her things and sometimes gives her money and always discuss her good life style with my wife. But what amazed me was that my wife was so indifferent about her each time I discuss her my wife will quickly change the topic. I thought, well woman with their naughty behavior towards other women.

Fast forward to June first this year her phone was stolen and I have a phone in office that I allow them access to incase their phone is off I can easily reach them through it. This faithful day, I tried to access my Facebook account using the office phone and found out that this same lady had used it but forget to logout. Well, I knew it was wrong to check her inbox but all the same I did.

After checking her inbox I couldn't sleep all night. I found out that she is having unprotected sex with 5 guys each guy per Sunday and she just did an abortion March this year the very day she told me that she was sick and can't make it to work and she wasn't sure who among the guys that impregnated her. I also found out that she had missed her period again and trying to hang it on one of the boys. The amazing thing is that non of these guys suspects her, they all believe she is a faithful girl friend.

I have thought of relieving her of her job, but my wife is asking me what should I give as reasons. But the truth is that I had never winessed such a wayward life before. If I pretend as though I know nothing she will eventually commit another abortion and continue with such life which is very dangerous at her age. What if she is my own daughter?

Please I want the mode to push this to the front page. I want to seek others opnion about it

You are wrong to have checked he private life. But you have a chance to save a very bad condition in the future here. Excesses of abortion may ruin her life and cause her not to have baby.

My advice, pretend as if you never saw anything. Try to find a means to query her about her life by being nice. In short hand over the role to your wife.
If she opens up t your wife. Then let your wife counsel her. Don't sack her.

Hmmmm, I see everyday how our world sinks and most people onboard think we're fine...

The majority here screaming "OP mind your business" gives me more worries than the OP would worry over his said employee!

O mase o! Ogede aiye n'baje a lo n'pon!

That a young lady of her age engages in such horrific lifestyle is an indicator of many things, ultimate of which is the tendency to be deceptive and dishonest even with her boss! And, some people here are making a case for separating business from persons! For such protagonists, don't you know that the so called business itself is a person? Do you know that business is all about relationships? Hypocrites! The kind of news you want to hear is that the lady developed complications at work so you can start your usual rants of "arrest the Man"... Abi?

Wait a minute!

What is even wrong with the Africans of today?! We have so imbibed the foreign cultures to the detriment of whom we are!
We copy from them what they detest about themselves, and easily cast away what they envy in us! Chai! Nkan ma se wa O!
So, wither the spirit of brotherliness?

In my culture, the maxim goes; if your neighborh consumes abnormal insects and you refuse to caution him, when he starts groaning and coughing at night, you'll be unable to sleep yourself!

For crying out, this lady could be a product of a dysfunctional home, an imbalanced upbringing, a victim of unpleasant circumstances or the likes - she may need help! and if the OP can help her, my question is why not?
But if we stick to the doctrine of 'mind your business', what good will come from it?

OP, please sit her, explain to her from a mature POV how God has diverse ways of helping people... Tell her how you have acted against your own usual culture by opening her private chats as a divine intervention to rescue her. Encourage her to open up on her challenges. Counsel her, pray for her, help her!

The true beauty of humanity is not in being morally upright, but in saving the lives that are within our capacities to such save.

why you dey check anoda persons message, you should be sued

Dear OP, I don't think it's a mistake you came across this. I believe God wants to use you for her. Don't keep mum, Sir. Do all you can do as a father to help her from that way of life. It's certain she won't like it and will feel disappointed and embarrassed, but you still have to do the right thing, Sir. Help talk to her. All the best.

Uwa comes to mind after reading this story. She might not be who her parents actually think she is

Oga you did well by checking on her Facebook account 80%/of guys will do that, and for the fact that she acts decent gives you more reasons to, but since reverse is the case, don't do things you will regret, do what your minds tells you is best, talk to her, it might be what she need, just saying oooo, if anything bad happens to that girl am sure you will have the blame for a very long time

OritaIbadan:

Alright just thinking as a father is it the best

Just thinking as a father indeed. If she were your daughter, will you sack her? Driving her into the street is it what you do to your daughter?

Oya answer, father.

OritaIbadan:

I had even tried to ignore but am not finding it very easy thats why I informed my wife and brought it up here just to be sure I do the right thing

OP, as you have seen from comments here, most are not surprised by her sexual behaviour. Many condemn your checking her email than her reckless life.
Of course you invaded her privacy. Not ideal at all. But most here do not see it as an opportunity to help her turn a new leaf. For her health if not for anything else.

There was a video posted here long ago where 9ja girls were asked how many guys they date at the same time. Most said 3 or 4 or 5 or as many as they can conveniently juggle.

Also about 35% of firstborn kids belong to another man outside. About 30% of ALL kids belong to another man outside.

So even if she marries one of the guys, she might still keep one or two of her current guys. Especially if her hubby is a frequent traveler.

I'm surprised that you still believe being outwardly religious still means anything. It's now just a culture. Only few still espouse the spiritual essence of it.
That's bound to happen when something becomes too mainstream. It becomes just a social norm that doesn't require a personal conviction or journey.

I would have asked you to separate business from private life. But her health is involved. But you do not want to be complicit in her abortion moves. If it's too heavy for you to discuss with her, let her go. With advise to sort her private life and health out.

OritaIbadan:
I employed this 21years old lady last year as a sales rep. At resumption to work she appeard so decent and godly always With her Bible and Sunday school manual. I was really impressed by her spiritual and respectful nature. This made me treat her different from others. I buy her things and sometimes gives her money and always discuss her good life style with my wife. But what amazed me was that my wife was so indifferent about her each time I discuss her my wife will quickly change the topic. I thought, well woman with their naughty behavior towards other women.

Fast forward to June first this year her phone was stolen and I have a phone in office that I allow them access to incase their phone is off I can easily reach them through it. This faithful day, I tried to access my Facebook account using the office phone and found out that this same lady had used it but forget to logout. Well, I knew it was wrong to check her inbox but all the same I did.

After checking her inbox I couldn't sleep all night. I found out that she is having unprotected sex with 5 guys each guy per Sunday and she just did an abortion March this year the very day she told me that she was sick and can't make it to work and she wasn't sure who among the guys that impregnated her. I also found out that she had missed her period again and trying to hang it on one of the boys. The amazing thing is that non of these guys suspects her, they all believe she is a faithful girl friend.

I have thought of relieving her of her job, but my wife is asking me what should I give as reasons. But the truth is that I had never winessed such a wayward life before. If I pretend as though I know nothing she will eventually commit another abortion and continue with such life which is very dangerous at her age. What if she is my own daughter?

Please I want the mode to push this to the front page. I want to seek others opnion about it

Na the matter we dey discuss b/4 you posted it here.

Nezzjnr:
You guys are saying OP should mind his business... For what exactly??
Didn't you see where OP stated that he's like a Fatherly figure to her and she's different from the others

This girl is still a minor working as a sales rep... If something bad happens to her... All fingers will be pointing towards OP.

21 year old minor. Wow. Nigeria finally produced a genius