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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / The Danger Of Minding Your Own Business. (3467 Views)
Minding Your Business The Nigerian Way / I'm In Danger Of Committing Adultery - Please Advice Me / What's The Danger Of Having Numerous Facebook Friends As A Young Girl? (2) (3) (4)
The Danger Of Minding Your Own Business. by dchem(m): 12:26am On Jun 07, 2020 |
I recently stumbled upon a post on this platform https://www.nairaland.com/5907336/what-found-sales-girls-facebook The response from so many people explains why our society is dysfunctional. Nigerians really have no idea how "minding our business" breaks the societal norms. A society where robbers, kidnappers and all sort of evil people live among us waiting for the next crime is not the best for us. We need to learn how to start interfering and doing our bit to nip this evil early rather than mind our business and wait for it to grow big enough to consume us all. We keep complaining when a crime is committed. Infact if not for the recent public outcry, rape was gradually becoming an acceptable norm to overlook on the platter of "she spent my money". Things are getting out of hand gradually. We need to return to the time when we took care of our children together. I will end this by saying that I do not approve of snooping and getting into people's private life. However, if you do and encounter something of concern don't play the ignorance card. Do your bit to help the situation because everything happens for a reason. Stay safe. 11 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: The Danger Of Minding Your Own Business. by Jullima(f): 12:35am On Jun 07, 2020 |
You actually have it backwards, Nigerians will never mind their business when it comes to people’s lives and their personal choices e.g when to marry? When to have a child? How many children? Etc. However they will look the other way when a crime is committed, e.g 419, domestic violence, rape etc. Just like you OP, you’re seriously comparing criminals committing a crime to a young girl’s private life?? Her boss has no business with how she lives her life, his only business is how she does the job she’s been paid to do. 33 Likes 10 Shares |
Re: The Danger Of Minding Your Own Business. by Acidosis(m): 1:22am On Jun 07, 2020 |
Jullima: You want people to talk about rape and 419 but you don't want anyone talk about the evil that people commit in the name of relationship? Things like lying to obtain abortion money, forcing married men to raise bastards, multiple dating with unsafe sexual life and other "private" affairs that force men and women into life threatening ailments and crimes. These are the kind of things you anti-moralists don't want to talk about but always quick to jump into discussions on rape and black life matters. Why don't we just leave the rape victim and her family in Benin to fight their private battle? Na my rape? If one of those boys discover her attrocities and then go ahead to revengefully rape her, of course, you would expect the mumu boss to carry the matter on his head on the social media. We have an example of a "mumu" boss in the delivery man v. LUTH case. 17 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: The Danger Of Minding Your Own Business. by Dididrumz(m): 1:36am On Jun 07, 2020 |
Very true |
Re: The Danger Of Minding Your Own Business. by dchem(m): 1:52am On Jun 07, 2020 |
Jullima: I do not compare crime/sin they are all equally weighted. The so called lesser sin lead to the bigger ones the criminals commit. If you don't see the potential crime coming from this lady's present actions then you know nothing. 2 Likes |
Re: The Danger Of Minding Your Own Business. by Jullima(f): 2:02am On Jun 07, 2020 |
Acidosis, Who or what is an anti-moralist? Whose morals aren’t they adhering to? Rape is a crime not a punishment. If Nigerians spent less time policing other people’s private lives and actually speak up when an actual CRIME is committed, we might have a better Nigeria today. Her boss had no business or right to rifle through her personal inbox and you shouldn’t be okay with bosses firing their employees because of their personal life (except the ones that violates a company’s official code of conduct). It’s one thing to give counsel but to fire them because of their private life choices..if bosses are allowed to have that power, no one will be working in Nigeria. dchem: Yes, I am aware and it’s up to 14 years in prison. The person I quoted listed a host of personal choices that aren’t crimes, which I don’t believe should justify dismissal. His only reference to abortion was “lying to obtain abortion money”. 24 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: The Danger Of Minding Your Own Business. by dchem(m): 2:05am On Jun 07, 2020 |
Jullima: Are you aware abortion is a crime or you think it's only rape that is a crime? 3 Likes |
Re: The Danger Of Minding Your Own Business. by DaddyRochie1642: 2:09am On Jun 07, 2020 |
Oga I'll Continue Minding My Business ![]() ![]() 8 Likes |
Re: The Danger Of Minding Your Own Business. by bigseank(m): 3:16am On Jun 07, 2020 |
no shook your mouth for wetin no concern you. simple key to a happier life 1 Like |
Re: The Danger Of Minding Your Own Business. by bdchange(m): 3:52am On Jun 07, 2020 |
When people use the word mind your business, sometimes I wonder in what context are they referring to? How well should I mind my business in the following scenarios: 1. If my neighbor is having sex with a minor in the same house we live in. 2. If my mother treats our maid as trash since I am not her primary employer. 3. If my friend or brother rapes my step sister and threatens to kill her if she talks. 4. I can as well turn a blind eye to the looting of the national treasury by my party members since the money is enough to go round. 5. I can as well remain dumb when I know my colleague is stealing from the company since it is not my money being stolen. 6. I can also close my eyes when I see my friends raping a girl since she is not my sister. I can go on and on till I have ten pages full of these lists of minding my business. Well any of these will only be my concern or your concern when it happens to people we love, that is hypocrisy. You want to turn a blind eye and yet still have a sane country to live in. Please stop deceiving yourselves it doesn't work that way. Though we can agree that some things are not actually your business. A case study of the example the OP gave about a boss contemplating on sacking his employee because of her personal life. I just had to laugh when I read that. Believe me if employers are to go by that judgement then most of us might be out of work even the OP. Nevertheless some issues are so paramount that you have to make it your business if you claim you want to have a better society to live in. 14 Likes 1 Share |
Re: The Danger Of Minding Your Own Business. by Beosten(m): 4:04am On Jun 07, 2020 |
Jullima: They said you should answer if you know abortion is also a crime? You're using phone and laptop and you still think you can hide anything from me? Even if you delete your messages, I will recover them. You want me to insert prick in a hole where sharks are swimming... you're the real rapist. I logged into my girlfriends' Facebook inbox many times without asking them for their passwords. If I have your email used for Facebook, I will log into your account whether you like it or not. Nonsense! |
Re: The Danger Of Minding Your Own Business. by cococandy(f): 6:34am On Jun 07, 2020 |
All you have mentioned are crimes . You are free to report those bdchange: 7 Likes |
Re: The Danger Of Minding Your Own Business. by cococandy(f): 6:38am On Jun 07, 2020 |
It’s amazing how many of you guys get hot and bothered about what goes in and out of woman’s vagina who has no business or relationship with any of you. If you all put the amount of energy you apply in policing women’s sexual activities into policing actual criminals, life would be lots easier for us all. We all know that oga would not have been on NL crying if his sales boy has 20 girlfriends. But it’s a sales girl and for some reason, that makes him the custodian of her body. 17 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: The Danger Of Minding Your Own Business. by cococandy(f): 6:41am On Jun 07, 2020 |
dchem: A potential crime is not a crime. Again. Mind your business 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: The Danger Of Minding Your Own Business. by cococandy(f): 6:54am On Jun 07, 2020 |
Acidosis: Rape and 419 are crimes. Having multiple sexual partners is not a crime (in a monogamous relationship it’s deception that the injured party is justified to address but is still not a crime). If it was a crime, many of you guys (maybe even you) would not be free humans. You are this bothered because it’s a woman. Mr moralist, we don’t see you blowing this hot and philosophical about men who sleep around. If you were that concerned about morals, go to sexuality section and preach to your fellow men who brag about their sexual misconduct. I shudder to think of what would happen if women had a section dedicated to such open bragging about being sexual deviants. Many of you “moral” men and women who only speak when it’s a woman concerned would have gone mad by now. These are the kind of things you anti-moralists don't want to talk about but always quick to jump into discussions on rape and black life matters. Why don't we just leave the rape victim and her family in Benin to fight their private battle? Na my rape?smh. Comparing rape/racial injustices to what consenting adults choose to do with their own bodies? When are we ever going to stop having this inane conversation ?
Victim blame, rape apology all in one post. Again we know you’re only concerned about morals here because it’s a woman who is involved. If you really care about rape, you would educate yourself to understand that anyone can be raped. Tactlessly trying to make excuses for rape because you hate the idea of a sexual woman shows your true colors on the issue of rape. You don’t care about rape. You care about controlling women. The oga in the LUTH vs police case is a mumu because he stood up for his 18yr old sale girl right? The more you speak... 18 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: The Danger Of Minding Your Own Business. by Bj5all(m): 7:06am On Jun 07, 2020 |
You know in this life there are different kind of people. Those that are moralist that believe that having a sane society is a collective effort and those that are anti-moralist shouting "mind your business" I once worked as a sales rep when I was 17 years, that's many years ago and I can still remember all the kind words and advice my boss gave me. I have people living with me, adults and i make it my duty to teach and encourage to do what is right. First it's their personal life and I don't have the right to force them to do what I want them to do but it will be nice for anybody to have a good reason for their behaviour. Back to the reason for this thread, the girl in question is Heading for destruction, just had an abortion and on the road for another one and we don't know how many she has had and somebody is saying the employer should mind his business? I can't believe what I'm reading here. If everybody mind their business we would have a dysfunctional society that you can't have peace and your children can't live in. If she gives birth and throw the baby away, all those shouting "mind your business" will be the first to come online to rebuke her actions without minding their business. If someone is raped, why do people call for help even though it's just a crime against one person. Why don't you also tell people to mind their business since they are not the one raped? Or in case of domestic violence. Any crime against having a sane society is a crime that people should talk. If she is not properly guided, she might have children she can't take care and that's how we have touts and criminal everywhere. If I'm the employer, I will sit her down and teach her everything I think she should know and pray for her to change. I will do all I can to help a dying soul. If her home fails her, the society should not also fail her. We all owe ourselves little favour. 7 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: The Danger Of Minding Your Own Business. by Bj5all(m): 7:23am On Jun 07, 2020 |
cococandy: What is your point actually? Are you in anyway supporting immorality? Men that sleep around are fools, women that sleep are fools. This has nothing to do with gender. If i have a younger brother who has multiple girlfriends, without being told I know he has problems. He has problem with lust, he has problem with causing girls pains, he has problem with managing finances because he is going to spend recklessly, he has problem with being focus in what is important in life because he has plenty distractions, he lacks morals and he lacks discipline. As a concern brother I won't mind my business, I will talk and do my best for him to see his faults and probably amend his ways. If I also have a sister who have decided to also make her life of no value and wants to be the rag for men to use either for fun or for monetary reason, i will also talk. It's not a gender thing, this is not trying to control women, this is a fight for humanity. No sane girl or boy who is properly raise would want to be sleeping around. 12 Likes 1 Share |
Re: The Danger Of Minding Your Own Business. by austine4real(m): 7:26am On Jun 07, 2020 |
I have a good point But Minding my own business is a good business 1 Like
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Re: The Danger Of Minding Your Own Business. by cococandy(f): 7:28am On Jun 07, 2020 |
I hear you Bj5all: |
Re: The Danger Of Minding Your Own Business. by vandp: 7:58am On Jun 07, 2020 |
Jullima: Selective moralist, stop being bias. 1 Like |
Re: The Danger Of Minding Your Own Business. by Acidosis(m): 8:22am On Jun 07, 2020 |
Jullima: I never said I was okay with a boss firing his employee because of her private life. My point is that the boss shouldn't mind his business on the matter. I don't have to wait for someone to commit a crime before I speak up. The lady lied to his boss, took a day off to commit abortion, and the best y'all can come up is 'mind your business'. That's wickedness in my opinion. Mind you, nothing is actually private anylonger. Employers look beyond your CV which most people lie about anyway. Employers actually monitor your activities on the social media.
What leads to the crime you talk about so much? Who commit the so called crime of abortion, rape, drugs? Virgins, moral and decent folks? You all had better start telling yourselves the truth. 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: The Danger Of Minding Your Own Business. by Acidosis(m): 8:36am On Jun 07, 2020 |
cococandy: You play too much gender card. I always stand up for rape victims, way before the days of Dakolo v. Fatoyinbo. I stood up for Ese Walters even though she was never raped but a victim of manipulation by a higher authority. I spoke against Apostle Suleiman v. Stephanie Otobo even though the case wasn't related to rape but sexual manipulation by a religious/moral figure. 1 Like |
Re: The Danger Of Minding Your Own Business. by Justbehave(m): 8:53am On Jun 07, 2020 |
Jullima:So committing abortion is her private life? Make Una continue.You all should also remember to mind your business when you see a pregnant woman stranded on the road. It's her private life because nobody asked her to come out on the road. You all should also remember to mind your business when you see a young man or woman lying helplessly on the road side due to hunger,leave them there,don't help. You all should also mind your business when your good neighbor is very sick and needs help.Oh yes,always mind your business when you see your neighbors underaged girl been accosted by a guy above her age on the road,who knows,he might be a family friend,so don't bother to enquire from her who the guy is. Make Una continue. 2 Likes |
Re: The Danger Of Minding Your Own Business. by Omar09(m): 8:54am On Jun 07, 2020 |
Well I wanna chip in. You can get fired from a job by what you do in your private life. For instance, being a racist on your SM which you do in your private life could actually get you fired in your work place. That a woman reported you for harassment can get you fired in your work place. Nothing is really private. We live in a world where every one must be politically correct and right which is the bases of all human judgment on every activity. Now having said all these, and back on the issue at hand, might I remind every one on the "mind your business" train, that the boss stumbled upon her inbox, not like he deliberately went for it. If for any reason, the girl broke the mode of conduct in her workplace by using a public asset for private use and should be penalized for it. She's 21 and should be responsible for any action she takes. That said, she deserves to be set aright but not at the expense of whoever would do so. There's an adage that goes like this in Igbo language: otu onye anaghi azu nwa (it's not just the parents responsibility to train their kids, the whole community should help out). We should be our brothers keepers. If we keep minding our business, we all will be burned. 4 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: The Danger Of Minding Your Own Business. by cococandy(f): 8:57am On Jun 07, 2020 |
Acidosis:Well in case you didn’t realize it, the two things are separate issues. Trying to bring in the issue of rape (in a way that justifies or excuses it because the potential victim is living a “non-moral” life is rape apology. You stand up for rape victims? Keep doing that. Don’t conflate what people do to their bodies with causes of rape. There’s only one cause of rape and it’s the rapist. I play too much gender card yet the truth is glaring ![]() ![]() I would have expected all you moralists to be on the necks of those “immoral“ men you encounter here everyday. But for some reason, the issue of morality only seems to arise when a woman’s sexuality is the topic of discussion. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: The Danger Of Minding Your Own Business. by Omar09(m): 8:57am On Jun 07, 2020 |
Acidosis: One time you and that coco of girl had a clash and I replied your comment and she reported it and got me banned. Be careful of her. And yes she plays too much gender card. I don't blame her anyway because reality always stares at us as soon as we log off of this platform. 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: The Danger Of Minding Your Own Business. by cococandy(f): 9:03am On Jun 07, 2020 |
Omar09: 8. Don't post false information on Nairaland. You don’t know who reported you. But you’re convinced it was me (Probably because your post was not a response but an attack on me. That’s why you’re convinced it was me who did the reporting) now you’re saying it like it’s a fact, thus breaking rule 8. ![]() 1 Like |
Re: The Danger Of Minding Your Own Business. by Omar09(m): 9:05am On Jun 07, 2020 |
cococandy: Here we go again. 1 Like |
Re: The Danger Of Minding Your Own Business. by Romangalactic(m): 9:09am On Jun 07, 2020 |
Jullima:Her boss can legitimately fire her for using the business phone to engage in private affairs on her work time. 5 Likes |
Re: The Danger Of Minding Your Own Business. by Romangalactic(m): 9:11am On Jun 07, 2020 |
Omar09: ![]() 2 Likes |
Re: The Danger Of Minding Your Own Business. by Justbehave(m): 9:13am On Jun 07, 2020 |
cococandy:Is abortion not a crime? Why are you ladies like this sef? The guy was only trying to safe a life and you all said he should mind his business. What happens if the girl dies while under going another abortion? 1 Like |
Re: The Danger Of Minding Your Own Business. by Justbehave(m): 9:16am On Jun 07, 2020 |
Romangalactic:Do they even know it's an offence to be using an official phone to engage in private affairs on her work time? I doubt. |
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