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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My Uncles Fixed My Late Father's Burial Without Informing Me, His First Son (53882 Views)
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Re: My Uncles Fixed My Late Father's Burial Without Informing Me, His First Son by walkwithgod(m): 1:27am On Jun 09, 2020 |
dario078: Nigerians matter tire me I swear. Leave everything to God, Leave everything to God. That's why we are not progressing as a Nation because we have failed to take responsibility at all times. When are we ever going to get it right ? 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Uncles Fixed My Late Father's Burial Without Informing Me, His First Son by dam4sam: 1:33am On Jun 09, 2020 |
seborrhic: You are right to some extent, he cannot just walk into the mortuary and leave an order, when he is not the one who brought the body. But as to who has "burial rights" over the body, the Wife and the eldest son has the most authority, all other authorities are derived (Uncles, Brothers, Sisters, etc) and subjecto to the primary authority. But he is a young Man, with no financial means and no clout, so these secondary, derived authorities are USURPING his authority because of that. He cant do much but he MUST go to the Burial (since they did not threaten or ban him from coming). He must give a Speech (suprisingly without letting them know before hand) at the burial site, he must say it openly there that he is not happy with the way his Uncles treated him and usurped his role (There should be at least, a Camera Phone Video recording of this, for psoterity) and he must reoterate in front of everybody that : I am the first Son of the deceased we are burying today and l am his heir apparent, irrespective of what anybody thinks or says, l just want that to be on record. God bless you all for taking our time to attend my father's burial. He should throw Sand on his father's burial and leave immediately with his Parents for his base. No sharing of food with them because they will posion him, no hugging because of CoronaVirus or they will use juju on him, it is "precaustion", not fear. Some of these b@st@rd family members are not in agreement with his father when he was alive but once he is dead, they gather like vultures, shed small Crocodile tears and start dragging property with the children of the deceased! I wish the dead can rise and strike them dead as well. They have been waiting in the wings for his father to die. If it is a property and they wont let me have what belongs to me, l can even secretly set fire to the House and let it burn, than let them have it but that will be an extreme, last option. Lazy, greedy and Evil UNCLES everywhere, may God save us. |
Re: My Uncles Fixed My Late Father's Burial Without Informing Me, His First Son by Urchman200: 1:42am On Jun 09, 2020 |
Carchoice:this advice doesn't seem smart to me ooo,if they notice u are afraid of them it will be easier for them to kill u, don't show weakness more battle awaits u ,so if u can fortify yourself it will be advisable u do because u are going to deal with a lot of people. |
Re: My Uncles Fixed My Late Father's Burial Without Informing Me, His First Son by Konji3368: 2:04am On Jun 09, 2020 |
Go and do exactly what that guy said, transfer your late father's corpse to another mortuary, if i were to be you that is what i will do. Do it and thank us later. |
Re: My Uncles Fixed My Late Father's Burial Without Informing Me, His First Son by VickyRotex(f): 2:05am On Jun 09, 2020 |
BABANGBALI: Ooto lo so. O wi re. OP, I'm so sorry for your loss. May you and your family find comfort on every side. |
Re: My Uncles Fixed My Late Father's Burial Without Informing Me, His First Son by Kazim88: 2:08am On Jun 09, 2020 |
Carchoice: Best response, follow this advice and live. Infact peacefully shun the burial, you can show your dad last respect from anywhere. They would most likely provoke and poison you in the burial. |
Re: My Uncles Fixed My Late Father's Burial Without Informing Me, His First Son by GodisFirst: 2:11am On Jun 09, 2020 |
Carchoice: @ Carchoice, thanks for this your advice to OP. @OP, Please and please, the best thing you can do for your late father now is to let his corpse be buried peacefully. Take the above advice from Carchoice: and follow it religiously. Be wise and watch your back. Don't let those youths you mentioned push you into trouble. When it gets out of hand you will be left alone and they will be no where to be found. Don't attempt to change the date of the burial, don't fight for any property, Attend the burial and pay your father his last respect, participate in whatever way you can, as a student they will not expect anything from you and if they do, tell them that you have nothing. Get involve in the errands as needed. After the burial, stay calm and watch. Ensure you finish your studies as that should be your priority now so that you could take care of your future and your siblings. Leave the village shop alone, work towards having your own. In few years time, if you work hard, you will realize that the shop doesn't worth fighting for. Even if they want to sell land, just ignore them. You can buy a better land in the future if you work hard. I pray that God will give you the wisdom you need now. Sorry about your loss, take heart. May the soul of your late father RIP. 1 Like |
Re: My Uncles Fixed My Late Father's Burial Without Informing Me, His First Son by Nobody: 2:15am On Jun 09, 2020 |
I will advise you to call a meeting of your siblings and advise them to be calm as your uncles are out to face you. They may have other plans that we can not tell for now. After the meeting with your siblings you can decide to let them know that you have gotten the information of the burial and you do not have any problem with their plan. on the date you may go to the burial and try not to argue with them on what plan they have even on sharing of his properties but take notes of what belong to your father. This advise will safe your life as it obviously show that your uncles has an intention that could be wicked. Please advise your siblings to be calm and watch their plans. |
Re: My Uncles Fixed My Late Father's Burial Without Informing Me, His First Son by lordatkinson07(m): 2:29am On Jun 09, 2020 |
Well, most of us don't know how your culture and customs works. But since you are not informed, they are just throwing a party on their own, not your father's burial ceremony. |
Re: My Uncles Fixed My Late Father's Burial Without Informing Me, His First Son by babyboy1: 2:36am On Jun 09, 2020 |
How old are you? And is your mum aware of the burial plans? |
Re: My Uncles Fixed My Late Father's Burial Without Informing Me, His First Son by Nobody: 2:38am On Jun 09, 2020 |
Act immediately. Be careful and also protect your siblings. |
Re: My Uncles Fixed My Late Father's Burial Without Informing Me, His First Son by Nobody: 2:45am On Jun 09, 2020 |
Guy go cook your self and follow them bumper to bumper.... Are they mad ni? But remember to cook thyself.... 2 Likes |
Re: My Uncles Fixed My Late Father's Burial Without Informing Me, His First Son by BREYZ: 2:47am On Jun 09, 2020 |
Aizen123: Stop sounding like a weakling, man up and don't give those uncle's of yours chance they have a bad agenda and don't just stay there are told your arms in the name of Peace because if you do you and your younger siblings will be reduced to nothing. This is your Dad here, take control and give him a befitting burial. Thank you |
Re: My Uncles Fixed My Late Father's Burial Without Informing Me, His First Son by prestige101: 2:49am On Jun 09, 2020 |
IF only they have no hand in your father's demise. If you are strong spiritually, fight them there. Don't bother challenging them openly. You know these wicked elders would do anything to get you annoyed, then claim, YOU ARE VERY INSULTIVE OR RUDE...which at that point will be correct because of how annoyed they must have made you become, while THEM pretending not to know, they stirred you up to that anger. Don't entertain any fears, next your dad's property will be next (if your dad had, which I'm sure he did).Take carefully decisive steps. |
Re: My Uncles Fixed My Late Father's Burial Without Informing Me, His First Son by akilo1: 2:53am On Jun 09, 2020 |
Oboy u get cash? Will u keep quie |
Re: My Uncles Fixed My Late Father's Burial Without Informing Me, His First Son by KosiGee(m): 2:58am On Jun 09, 2020 |
dario078: I read a lot of things here and I’m surprised at the contributions, including the one you quoted. I’m sorry to say, people have been watching too much nollywood and Chiwetalu Agu. Op is being economical with the truth and our brains are wired to sympathise with people in his position. We don’t seem to ask questions when strange things like the uncle’s actions and involvements happen. I’m against the uncle’s actions but there are lots of things that are not quite right with the whole situation. Op isn’t too young at 24, but he has said little about his family, mum and other siblings. Sorry I’m not convinced with his side of the story. His dad might’ve been ill for sometime and the uncles might’ve been the ones bearing the costs of his ill health....just saying. We all do not know the relationship between this boy and his late dad. Did his dad trust him? Did the man see him as a pain while he was alive? Was the dad closer to his brothers? Did his dad confide in him and involve him in certain matters? What’s his relationship with his uncles and his cousins? Who deposited the man’s remains in the mortuary? Him or his uncles? Who has custody of the late man’s properties if he had any? How often do this boy travel home? This is very important, you can’t stay in some strange town speaking pidgin and bad English and when a situation like this occurs, you’ll be confused and not know who to meet and what to say. This is not just about properties, I think op is confused...sorry to say that. This should be more about honouring his late dad. Finally, has this boy gone through his dad’s inventory? HAS HE ANY UNPAID DEBT? If op is Igbo, he should travel to his town and involve Umunna/town union. It’s important...police/lawyer is advised but Umunna and town union is strongly advised. |
Re: My Uncles Fixed My Late Father's Burial Without Informing Me, His First Son by philopaul4uu: 3:02am On Jun 09, 2020 |
Whatever you do, get your siblings along. Don't act alone. Igwebuike. |
Re: My Uncles Fixed My Late Father's Burial Without Informing Me, His First Son by Back2Daura(m): 3:12am On Jun 09, 2020 |
Carchoice: What sort of advice is this. Guy face your uncles with the truth and change the keys to that shop once the burial is over. Pretend for now let the burial pass over pretend like the money is from the shop is for the burial. But where is your mother is she alive? If yes, work with her after the burial I repeat lock up the shop with another key and be in charge with your mum. Goodluck 1 Like |
Re: My Uncles Fixed My Late Father's Burial Without Informing Me, His First Son by Nadaken: 3:13am On Jun 09, 2020 |
Aizen123:oga you still young o, your uncle's can be diabolical it they can take such decisions on a vunurable youth like you. Just let them be |
Re: My Uncles Fixed My Late Father's Burial Without Informing Me, His First Son by psalmistkakah(m): 3:16am On Jun 09, 2020 |
My advise is for you to act with wisdom, when I lost my dad a year ago, although am older than you above 35 years. My uncle's fixed the date and let me know, they contributed in making sure that I feel no pains in burying him..but I still act with wisdom, my father house in the village, the same way my dad gave them access to it, so I left it like dat, his land for farming in the village, I still left without dragging. What am I saying despite my uncle's seems to be kind I still be mindful cos this people cannot be trusted, so you should confront dem without causing any uproar, is obvious your uncle's are up to something. |
Re: My Uncles Fixed My Late Father's Burial Without Informing Me, His First Son by KosiGee(m): 3:25am On Jun 09, 2020 |
donbachi: Let’s ask ourselves this questions bro...who deposited the man’s remains in the mortuary? How come the uncles had the keys to the village house? Was the man living in his own house or sharing accommodation with any of his siblings before he died? Here’s a scenario...A man married, had children, had domestic and health issues...his wife left him with the children. His health suffered and his brothers and his only sister were the ones taking care of him. This man had diabetes which was poorly managed. He had diabetic foot which was amputated... Diabetic foot...Nollywood fanatics would shout Chiwetalu Agu must have buried some charm... All the while this man suffered, his ex wife didn’t show up, children never visited him. His brothers carried him, bore everything till he died. The ex wife showed up accusing ‘bad uncles’ and villagers of ‘killing’ him. Let me not bore you with details but we really do not know anything about this boy, his dad, mum and his uncles etc. It might be a lot more complicated than we all think. Let’s not be too harsh on ‘villagers’. You don’t know their stories too. Some of you here are part of the villagers too. 3 Likes |
Re: My Uncles Fixed My Late Father's Burial Without Informing Me, His First Son by uchrikk(m): 3:28am On Jun 09, 2020 |
Before doing anything about this situation, find out the customs and traditions of your people about it? If you don't know it already, go to other elders of your town or even your village head. When a man dies without a will in your town, who inherits his properties? There must be a tradition on it. |
Re: My Uncles Fixed My Late Father's Burial Without Informing Me, His First Son by victor44843(m): 3:35am On Jun 09, 2020 |
Are you sure they ain't planning something else? |
Re: My Uncles Fixed My Late Father's Burial Without Informing Me, His First Son by OVB123: 3:45am On Jun 09, 2020 |
Carchoice:U have really spoken like a wise man, this is what i wanted to say but because u have done justice to the issue, i rest my case. 1 Like |
Re: My Uncles Fixed My Late Father's Burial Without Informing Me, His First Son by Grandmeister(m): 3:49am On Jun 09, 2020 |
Ibime:If he avoids the burial or does not contribute to it, customarily the uncles now have the right over the man's property..I'm talking about Igbo custom shaa..na who bury person get em property.. |
Re: My Uncles Fixed My Late Father's Burial Without Informing Me, His First Son by Nobody: 3:52am On Jun 09, 2020 |
Jullima:You don't them to bury anybody. Drive the motherfuckcers off. |
Re: My Uncles Fixed My Late Father's Burial Without Informing Me, His First Son by jmichael259(m): 3:53am On Jun 09, 2020 |
Aizen123: How old are you? Do you have a steady job or financial backing? Yes moving corpse is possible unless you are not the one holding the mortuary tally which you should go and collect. Don't quarrel with them just buy your own key and lock the shop or better move it's contents. Move the corpse to a place only you know and make a public announcement in the community and possibly radio disclaiming the burial and that a new date will be announced after due consideration with the sons of the deceased. Even if you are still too young or jobless you must still do the last one and report to the village king cabinet and block the burial until your right as first son is restored and fully observed with respect and YOU choose and fix your own date!!! In African culture all men (p3n-is bearers) are equal. Hence the Igbo saying; Water go reach man where e reach others! |
Re: My Uncles Fixed My Late Father's Burial Without Informing Me, His First Son by OVB123: 3:58am On Jun 09, 2020 |
Kazim88:I disagree with u on the son shunning his father burial because if he does that, it will be inviting calamity to himself and his simbly. Don't 4get that one day that he & his simbly will get marry someday and they will still need those wicked uncle(s). so he should should tread with caution. 1 Like |
Re: My Uncles Fixed My Late Father's Burial Without Informing Me, His First Son by bentenny(m): 4:01am On Jun 09, 2020 |
Carchoice:Wise words! I was in the same position like OP I felt bad initially....it was my mother that encouraged and advised me never to fight my uncles over my dad's properties.....she said 'what is yours is yours and no one can take it away from me"! I also decided not to step foot in that family compound! Today...My uncles are pleading that i should come and take my late dad's properties after many years! I just dey laugh them 1 Like |
Re: My Uncles Fixed My Late Father's Burial Without Informing Me, His First Son by GennyCheta(f): 4:01am On Jun 09, 2020 |
You let things get out of hand in the first place. I don't believe in all these Uncle's stuff most of them are wicked, that's why you have to be strong and prayful. Act like a man, stand your ground don't ask when you know what to do. Tell everyone to fvck off on anything that spells your father's name. It will create enemity now but am telling you it will help alot in the future. What about your mother. What's her opinion on this matter. |
Re: My Uncles Fixed My Late Father's Burial Without Informing Me, His First Son by GennyCheta(f): 4:06am On Jun 09, 2020 |
Back2Daura: God bless you This Uncles!!!! |
Re: My Uncles Fixed My Late Father's Burial Without Informing Me, His First Son by InvertedHammer: 4:07am On Jun 09, 2020 |
Aizen123:/ Find out why and try to make peace. If that doesn't work, go to war with them. The only one uncles respect in this scenario are the troublemakers. If they do bad, do worse. Don't be intimidated. Once you show the crazy side of you, they will respect you. They are overtly testing your manhood. NB: The more you preach peace, the more they destroy. / |
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