So I've been with her for long and running things cool. We've been lashing and handling things as mature adults until this last time, I traveled down her side last month beating all interstate ban for her birthday celebration. The mistake was we got drunk and lashed without protection. We were together two days before I took my leave.
She was weak when I was leaving but I encouraged her to come see me off and use that opportunity to get some pills based on the risk taken. She accented and did so but being a Sunday morning, she couldn't find an open pharmacy outlet that morning. I encouraged her to go home, take some nap and get it in the evening as it won't click 72 hours with the time.
She got home but fell sick immediately, she couldn't go out till 2 days again, by that time I guess it had happened. We let things lie until the following week when she started complaining of some signs. I tried telling her it was too early to count.
Fast forward to her missing her period, I encouraged her and sent her money for test, the test was positive and she has been down since then.I encouraged her and told her I'd be taking the responsibility. The funny thing is she had her reservations, she knew I wanted to travel and would have been on my way had it not been for the COVID-19 outbreak. She knew I virtually invested much already on the travel arrangement and isn't currently buoyant to handle marriage and settling down wahala.
She told me we aren't ready to keep the child now, as true as it seems, I've told her abortion is bloodshed of which I can't be a partner to. I told her the risks she'd be exposing herself to and all that but the shame from family and even difficult times had been her consideration. I've given her options of relocating her to a different state before it becomes outblown. She wasn't buying any of the ideas and told me point blank she would abort the baby. I even told her I'd be traveling down to her side on Sunday to talk things over with her but she told me not to.

Amongst the phone conversations we had, she regretted sending me the result, I guess because I am against her option of aborting the baby. Now, I really don't want her to, she can't avail me the opportunity of even seeing her. I've thought of defying her stance and coming to see her, I've also imagined calling her mum to inform her. I speak with few of her family members on the phone but I guess she would never forgive me if I reach her family first. She told me her father would die of heart attack having lost his job as his boss lost his senatorial post. I'm really confused on the option to exploit. The baby is mine, she is 24, in her finals. I have finished serving since last year and could be working but for my decision to travel out. I wish I know her fears....it'll help

Mods help me move to FP.
I need advice, I know what it means here on nairaland...the bashings and all that, I just want to see the better ones. Please, help a brother.
Cc farano, rocktation

The deed is done o

Abortion is risky bro...

congratulations on being a father


You'll have to talk to her still, let her know you are not in support and you don't wanna lose her yet and it's highly risky.

If you know 1 or 2 family members of hers you can tell to talk to her, it's better.

Though the choice is still hers as she wasn't bethroted to you yet.

Just show her you are ready to take every responsibilities and ready to man up.


Notwithstanding please find a way to confirm the pregnancy yourself oo! Things can be funny sha. Better you see with your eyes.

callmeRichie:
The deed is done o

Abortion is risky bro...

congratulations on being a father


You'll have to talk to her still, let her know you are not in support and you don't wanna lose her yet and it's highly risky.

If you know 1 or 2 family members of hers you can tell to talk to her, it's better.

Though the choice is still hers as she wasn't bethroted to you yet.

Just show her you are ready to take every responsibilities and ready to man up.


Notwithstanding please find a way to confirm the pregnancy yourself oo! Things can be funny sha. Better you see with your eyes.

She is really pregnant, she sent me the test result. The option of letting the family know is what I'm looking at, she'll never forgive me for that I think. I've thought of buying a new line and sending the mum a text about it. But she herself will know, it's been between us only. Not like the mum will know the normal way mums do, she isn't staying with her.

critique2:

She is really pregnant, she sent me the test result. The option of letting the family know is what I'm looking at, she'll never forgive me for that I think. I've thought of buying a new line and sending the mum a text about it. But she herself will know, it's been between us only. Not like the mum will know the normal way mums do, she isn't staying with her.

Have you checked the date and all that

You lots that talk about risk whenever abortion is an option seem to forget child—birth is riskier.

Anyway OP, you are being selfish.

You wanting to be a father shouldn't over—ride her unwillingness to become a mother. It's not your life that's getting torpedoed by pregnancy.

Unless you somehow can carry this pregnancy and birth the baby yourself then it won’t happen.

And she'll HATE you if you contact her folks.
Make a baby with someone who's ready.

it's better you let the family know bro, don't mind her fear! Que sera sera!

if she goes for abortion and later something really barbaric happened(not praying for one), that's a double wahala on you oo! Cuz no matter what it would still bounce back to you.

So why don't you save your ass and save hers too??

Abortion is risky bro...

Let her mum knows about this, they would be disappointed at first but she's their daughter anyways, they would embrace her. Buh you have to show responsibility too though


#Mythoughts sha

this wan hard o...Maybe she gat a more serious guy dt av promised her Marriage also na..

Ningen:
You lots that talk about risk whenever abortion is an option seem to forget child—birth is riskier.

Anyway OP, you are being selfish.

You wanting to be a father shouldn't over—ride her unwillingness to become a mother. It's not your life that's getting torpedoed by pregnancy.

Unless you somehow can carry this pregnancy and birth the baby yourself then it won’t happen.

And she'll HATE you if you contact her folks.
Make a baby with someone who's ready.

You have your point, that's why I want us to agree on the better. I've told her she won't suffer, I've given her the assurances. I just don't want to be a partner to bloodshed, that's my main concern. I told her my conscience won't ever forgive me, not knowing would have even been better.

[
I've explained this to her, never told her about briefing her family tho, she can take some hasty actions, cry blackmail and never forgive me.
Lol, I had a nightmare some days ago and told her how I was shot in the dream, she told me not to fear, that my only fear should be about her. She told me she'll shoot me if I mess her life up. That was before the pregnancy ish, got confirmed as it is now. She has the heart, she can do it

critique2:

You have your point, that's why I want us to agree on the better. I've told her she won't suffer, I've given her the assurances. I just don't want to be a partner to bloodshed, that's my main concern. I told her my conscience won't ever forgive me, not knowing would have even been better.

She wouldn't suffer as in how??

If you are in control of anything at all, then in the first place, we wouldn't be here discussing this.

Bro, your assurance means nothing.

I understand your strong moral standing against abortion; it's even illegal in Nigeria but so long it is her body, it's her choice.

Not only that, from your post you made it clear you're not ready to keep a child or buoyant for marriage and setting down; how will you cope?

JeffreyD1:


Have you checked the date and all that

The baby is mine, I'm sure about that.

Ningen:


She wouldn't suffer as in how??

If you are in control of anything at all, then in the first place, we wouldn't be here discussing this.

Bro, your assurance means nothing.

I understand your strong moral standing against abortion; it's even illegal in Nigeria but so long it is her body, it's her choice.

Not only that, from your post you made it clear you're not ready to keep a child or buoyant for marriage and setting down; how will you cope?

As broke as I am, I can do some things to stay afloat, it's just the lockdown. I can place her on a monthly stipend. We can be broke but still covered...grab?

Abortion is risky, what if she losses her life in the process

critique2:

As broke as I am, I can do some things to stay afloat, it's just the lockdown. I can place her on a monthly stipend. We can be broke but still covered...grab?

Hmm. I've heard this before.

Yes.
It's a very common line from dead-beat dads.

Wish you the best Bro.

This mata get as e be oh. Em OP e be like say u go call family meeting. Cos i no understand dis ur girl at all.

paulolee:
this wan hard o...Maybe she gat a more serious guy dt av promised her Marriage also na..

Maybe, just maybe....

bro, don't stop her from aborting the baby. don't tell her family or anyone, she is the one that knows what's best for her, it is easy to say you can hustle even though you are a new graduate, what if she gives birth and you can't afford to take care of the baby? you think everything goes to plan? like someone said up there, child birth is also risky, let her abort, that talk of abortion is risky is just to scare people. let her abort it, it is her body.


she is even in school, haba, so you want her to be going to school in final year with belle, don't be selfish bro, let her abort it and don't tell her parents because you don't even know what their decision will be.

Pregnancy thread everywhere
I don dey fear sef

mezarddinny:
bro, don't stop her from aborting the baby. don't tell her family or anyone, she is the one that knows what's best for her, it is easy to say you can hustle even though you are a new graduate, what if she gives birth and you can't afford to take care of the baby? you think everything goes to plan? like someone said up there, child birth is also risky, let her abort, that talk of abortion is risky is just to scare people. let her abort it, it is her body.


she is even in school, haba, so you want her to be going to school in final year with belle, don't be selfish bro, let her abort it and don't tell her parents because you don't even know what their decision will be.

She's almost a graduate... Just to clear a course she had issues with. Thanks for your advice, I'm learning

critique2:
So I've been with her for long and running things cool. We've been lashing and handling things as mature adults until this last time, I traveled down her side last month beating all interstate ban for her birthday celebration. The mistake was we got drunk and lashed without protection. We were together two days before I took my leave.
She was weak when I was leaving but I encouraged her to come see me off and use that opportunity to get some pills based on the risk taken. She accented and did so but being a Sunday morning, she couldn't find an open pharmacy outlet that morning. I encouraged her to go home, take some nap and get it in the evening as it won't click 72 hours with the time.
She got home but fell sick immediately, she couldn't go out till 2 days again, by that time I guess it had happened. We let things lie until the following week when she started complaining of some signs. I tried telling her it was too early to count.
Fast forward to her missing her period, I encouraged her and sent her money for test, the test was positive and she has been down since then.I encouraged her and told her I'd be taking the responsibility. The funny thing is she had her reservations, she knew I wanted to travel and would have been on my way had it not been for the COVID-19 outbreak. She knew I virtually invested much already on the travel arrangement and isn't currently buoyant to handle marriage and settling down wahala.
She told me we aren't ready to keep the child now, as true as it seems, I've told her abortion is bloodshed of which I can't be a partner to. I told her the risks she'd be exposing herself to and all that but the shame from family and even difficult times had been her consideration. I've given her options of relocating her to a different state before it becomes outblown. She wasn't buying any of the ideas and told me point blank she would abort the baby. I even told her I'd be traveling down to her side on Sunday to talk things over with her but she told me not to.

Number 1, it is her life.

Number 2, if you're not buoyant to marry her, it is pointless telling her to keep the baby, thus making her a baby mama.

Number 3, abortion is only risky when it is done late. The earlier she does it, the better. She shouldn't opt for herbal concotions.

Number 4, it is her life here, not yours. Have you considered that maybe, just maybe she is not ready for motherhood yet? She's still in her finals, and obviously have zero income. Do you want a liability?

I know being Christians or Muslims, we're prone to frown on abortion, but the lady has all the say.

Don't tell her parents.

Most ppl here don't know that if u av encouraged Abortion that u are a part of it
I refuse to contaminate my hands because of Naira land
Op biko stand ur ground....... If she insists call her parents......... Don't be a part of this blood shed.....
It might not be easy but everything will be fine...

Which one is "lashing" you cannot use words like "made love"


I'd love it if she can change her mind though.... Since you're gonna take responsibility, she should keep it....

So many women will kill for this kind of 'anointing'. One blow, one land. Lucky gal

You see why I advocate for celibacy, Nairaland fornicators will soon come for my head.