Say no to rape o.
I no support rape but I have a question that needs answer.

During dating: a girl's body belongs to her (and not him) and she has right over it, a boy's money belong to him (and not her) and he has right over it.

During marriage: a wife's body belongs to her ( and not her husband after bride price) and she has right over it but a husband's money belongs to both the husband and wife. What's the explanation?


If a husband is reported by the wife for rape and found guilty what punishment should the law give to him? Should it be a fine, Imprisonment(how long) or castration?

Don't get it twisted, it's just a question so everyone can learn. The reason I am asking this is because of what Anita Joseph said that: "Your Husband Can't Rape You". Again say no to rape.

I was also thinking, since it's archaic to own a wife or her body like property as it is in our African culture, shouldn't the paying of bride price be abolished? That way you see her as an equal partner and it saves your money.

And the idea of splitting the family bills 50:50 will help too. Your money will be yours while her money will be hers. I think on this ground marital rape will gain ground.

As far as rape is concerned, Rape is rape! Not justifiable, even marital rape , buh here in Nigeria there's no law bounding MARITAL RAPE! , our leaders doesn't see it as an offense, well maybe it's not I don't know .

I sha know rape is not justifiable!

callmeRichie:
As far as rape is concerned, Rape is rape! Not justifiable, even marital rape , buh here in Nigeria there's no law bounding MARITAL RAPE! , our leaders doesn't see it as an offense, well maybe it's not I don't know .

I sha know rape is not justifiable!

I know rape is not justifiable. That is clear.

But that doesnt address the questions I asked. Like what purnishment should the law give for a husband that rapes

Is there courtship rape?

baralatie:
Is there courtship rape?

Courtship rape is rape. It's clear!

callmeRichie:
As far as rape is concerned, Rape is rape! Not justifiable, even marital rape , buh here in Nigeria there's no law bounding MARITAL RAPE! , our leaders doesn't see it as an offense, well maybe it's not I don't know .

I sha know rape is not justifiable!

Rape antagonist. You didn't address the said topic at all sir.

And who put a gun on your head to give your wife money?

needanswer:


I know rape is not justifiable. That is clear.

But that doesnt address the questions I asked. Like what purnishment should the law give for a husband that rapes

Same punishment as for a regular rapist man! Being married is not an advantage now.

Life imprisonment, castration...

callmeRichie:



Same punishment as for a regular rapist man! Being married is not an advantage now.

Life imprisonment, castration...

Nice, that's an angle.

lilmax:
And who put a gun on your head to give your wife money?

Be practical, how won't you give your wife money?

Follow the law of the land. There's nothing like marital rape in Nigeria if u can't give ur husband sex whenever he wants it fuvking leave the marriage

sunshineV:
Follow the law of the land. There's nothing like marital rape in Nigeria if u can't give ur husband sex whenever he wants it fuvking leave the marriage

I already answered the question already, buh they didn't code it and I'm not in any angle to argue tonight, I kuku break it down

sunshineV:
Follow the law of the land. There's nothing like marital rape in Nigeria if u can't give ur husband sex whenever he wants it fuvking leave the marriage

I get your input.

I don't support any form of rape but won't it make sense if we change things like men paying bride price since we don't own the woman or her body (that's outdated)? As well as the family bills being split 50/50?

"The husband's money belong to both the wife and husband"
Says who?

You know just like the saying " your body belongs to your partner" it's just a saying not the reality. Those are just words we like to deceive ourselves with because the reality is You have access only to how much your partner allows you.

If a husband decide not to allow his wife use his properties as long as those properties are in his name 'alone' the wife can't do much to change the situation. Unless they divorce and that's if they are legally married. Same way couples can decide to starve one another sexually. Not that any of these is right, at least in a Love union.

As for Marital rape, the fact that the law doesn't recognize it doesn't make it unreal. It's happening and there's no justification to it. Any right thinking person who has evolved beyond from being an APE will not force anyone to have sex. That's what make us HUMAN.

sunshineV:
Follow the law of the land. There's nothing like marital rape in Nigeria if u can't give ur husband sex whenever he wants it fuvking leave the marriage

Spot on. Women like you not only need a good husband. You need to be cherished thru out life. Very rational

Ariza:
"The husband's money belong to both the wife and husband"
Says who?

You know just like the saying " your body belongs to your partner" it's just a saying not the reality. Those are just words we like to deceive ourselves with because the reality is You have access only to how much your partner allows you.

If a husband decide not to allow his wife use his properties as long as those properties are in his name 'alone' the wife can't do much to change the situation. Unless they divorce and that's if they are legally married. Same way couples can decide to starve one another sexually. Not that any of these is right, at least in a Love union.

As for Marital rape, the fact that the law doesn't recognize it doesn't make it unreal. It's happening and there's no justification to it. Any right thinking person who has evolved beyond from being an APE will not force anyone to have sex. That's what make us HUMAN.

Good points, I like your sound conclusion. But the opening part won't make a happy or lasting marriage. Like how will you not look after your wife?

This is why i pity those who go into marriage with sex as the major incentive. Even the sex is subject to the whim and caprice of the woman, and don't try to embellish it with lame justification, cos it's tantamount to rape if you force her; so, why the blasted fuss about guaranteed sex that you marriage advocates wouldn't let us a moment peace on the utopian reality you herald marriage to be


I personally don't even understand the hype about sex in particular.

needanswer:


I get your input.

I don't support any form of rape but won't it make sense if we change things like men paying bride price since we don't own the woman or her body (that's outdated)? As well as the family bills being split 50/50?

Yes, the whole collecting bride price thing to me feels like selling off the lady

needanswer:


Good points, I like your sound conclusion. But the opening part won't make a happy or lasting marriage. Like how will you not look after your wife?

I'm not saying a Man shouldn't take care of his wife, or that partners should deny one another. No.

I'm just ruling out sugar-coated words people pass from generation to generation that has led many young minds into wrong union. And the sense of entitlement these words create in people's minds and when things don't turn out the way it ought to be, you start hearing words like "I wasn't told this how marriage is". If a woman think she can own a Man's money and contemplate to marry him let her think twice. If a Man think he can own a woman because he paid bride price, let him think twice. The truth is you can only have assess to how much you are permitted.

Now, anyone that wants to get married should make to it a must to find A person who loves them enough to share. Someone who can give himself or herself totally in love and respect. Only then can there be peace of mind.

Ariza:
I'm not saying a Man shouldn't take care of his wife, or that partners should deny one another. No.

I'm just ruling out sugar-coated words people pass from generation to generation that has led many young minds into wrong union. And the sense of entitlement these words create in people's minds and when things don't turn out the way it ought to be, you start hearing words like "I wasn't told this how marriage is". If a woman think she can own a Man's money and contemplate to marry him let her think twice. If a Man think he can own a woman because he paid bride price, let him think twice. The truth is you can only have assess to how much you are permitted.

Now, anyone that wants to get married should make to it a must to find A person who loves them enough to share. Someone who can give himself or herself totally in love and respect. Only then can there be peace of mind.

You are wise sir. Hope you are married

sunshineV:


Yes, the whole collecting bride price thing to me feels like selling off the lady

I thought as much too.

needanswer:


You are wise sir. Hope you are married

I'm not a "Sir" and no, I'm not married.

Poseidon000:
This is why i pity those who go into marriage with sex as the major incentive. Even the sex is subject to the whim and caprice of the woman, and don't try to embellish it with lame justification, cos it's tantamount to rape if you force her; so, why the blasted fuss about guaranteed sex that you marriage advocates wouldn't let us a moment peace on the utopian reality you herald marriage to be


I personally don't even understand the hype about sex in particular.

Minus procreation, sex is for pleasure. But it is scripted now for pleasure. Procreation seems to be the best use of it.

Ariza:
I'm not a "Sir" and no, I'm not married.

Sir is just for respect as a guy, even though you are not a knight.

needanswer:


Sir is just for respect as a guy, even though you are not a knight.

Lol, I mean I'm not one you address with "sir" at all.

I'm a Lady.

Ariza:
Lol, I mean I'm not one you address with "sir" at all.

I'm a Lady.

Apologies, your argument was superb irrespective of gender "madam"...dont complain again o

I'd have to say the biggest difference between the wife having rights over her body and the man sharing his money is the fact that a body is not a commodity. I think we crossed that bridge when we all agreed slavery is inhumane. So, it is therefore equally inhumane to have "ownership" over a wifes body just because the bride price was paid.

I would also like to state that a man's money and a women's money should both go into the marriage. That's equality. I can't possibly have rights over your money when you can't say jack over mine.

Lastly, i think the whole bride price affair should be scrapped. I know in many cultures the bride price wasn't seen as a man buying the woman, it had a far deeper meaning (i won't go into that now). But I fear that we have forgotten about that far deeper meaning and just turned the whole affair into a transaction. Which brings me back to my first point: a human (body) is not a commodity

Minxie:
I'd have to say the biggest difference between the wife having rights over her body and the man sharing his money is the fact that a body is not a commodity. I think we crossed that bridge when we all agreed slavery is inhumane. So, it is therefore equally inhumane to have "ownership" over a wifes body just because the bride price was paid.

I would also like to state that a man's money and a women's money should both go into the marriage. That's equality. I can't possibly have rights over your money when you can't say jack over mine.

Lastly, i think the whole bride price affair should be scrapped. I know in many cultures the bride price wasn't seen as a man buying the woman, it had a far deeper meaning (i won't go into that now). But I fear that we have forgotten about that far deeper meaning and just turned the whole affair into a transaction. Which brings me back to my first point: a human (body) is not a commodity

Good points, I agree a wife isn't a commodity unlike money. About the bride price being or not being a form of ownership over the wife or her body.... I believe bride price cost a lot of money and one party shouldn't pay such huge sums for an equal partnership irrespective of reasons, should they?

needanswer:


Good points, I agree a wife isn't a commodity unlike money. About the bride price being or not being a form of ownership over the wife or her body.... I believe bride price cost a lot of money and one party shouldn't pay such huge sums for an equal partnership irrespective of reasons, should they?

Actually I've been reading some very interesting articles lately... these days many women actually help the men pay the bride price. It's not uncommon in SA especially if a woman earns more than the man. Because when you marry for love, you don't want something as silly as a bride price to ruin your future but you also don't want to anger your family by breaking tradition. So many girls pay the bride price themselves (giving the money to the guy) or they pay part of it

Minxie:


Actually I've been reading some very interesting articles lately... these days many women actually help the men pay the bride price. It's not uncommon in SA especially if a woman earns more than the man. Because when you marry for love, you don't want something as silly as a bride price to ruin your future but you also don't want to anger your family by breaking tradition. So many girls pay the bride price themselves (giving the money to the guy) or they pay part of it

Paying part of it isn't a bad idea, I can support that if it becomes formal. But being informal the greater burden will fall on guys even though the ladies are trying to help out.

needanswer:


Paying part of it isn't a bad idea, I can support that if it becomes formal. But being informal the greater burden will fall on guys even though the ladies are trying to help out.

Yes I agree. And the funny thing is, the men are actually the ones who reinforce this cycle. For example, many men hate the idea of paying bride price and they think it's unfair. but if those men have daughters, they will also later demand her boyfriend pay the bride price. It's a cycle that can't end because someone always gains something from it. To be honest, nobody is forcing us to agree to tradition. This generation can all make a vow to not ask for bride price. But I bet you at least 95% of the men now who have a problem with bride price will be at the forefront of negotiations in the future when it comes to their daughters hahaha