woky:
Pls stay on topic..

It seems you lack basic comprehension, go back to the comment I quoted.

Biglittlelois:

You guys are funny lots sha, dating ladies abroad who are aware of the divorce option is okay to you, but bringing a wife abroad from here who becomes aware of the divorce option is a problem to you, why? Why are you scared of that? If you treat your wife right do you think the thought of divorce will cross her mind? Here you guys behave anyhow to your wife because you know the law favours you, and you still want to continue the stupid intimidating evil behaviour because you feel she owes you for bringing her abroad? Smell the coffee dude, pick a better poison and live humbly with it, or stay single and be a baby papa, the world is full of choices.

What is na making you angry and ranting? Are you above 30 or looking for abroad based husband?

If you don’t care about race/nationality then I recommend joining a church in the US where you live.
There are some churches here that operate like cults (not trying to be mean just saying the truth). Everyone in the church marries within the church and live church-approved lifestyles.
It is usually a small-medium sized church where everyone knows everyone and the women are extremely conservative (something you seem to prefer). The rate of divorce in those churches are 0%.
I doubt this suggestion with help with your age stipulation though, cos even conservative <26year old girls in US will prefer to marry someone in their age group. Good luck.

GuyInTheMirror:

That 2nd option scares me.
A friend of mine just lost his home to a lady he sponsored from Nigeria as wife, the lady took custody of their 3 kids too.
Dating from abroad is a dicey thing especially if the man is going to sponsor the lady.
A lot of ladies will pretend which was the case with my friends wife, and I have also experienced it too.

So right now, I have totally erased hooking up with someone who knows I am abroad.

The number 2 option is the best. Take it from me.

I don't just know why, but I like this thread. I can't even explain it.

UyaiIncomparabl:
I don't just know why, but I like this thread. I can't even explain it.

Apply mbok

HarunaWest:
36 is too old ...You are no longer a young man, you are an Uncle...
Dont you have an Ex in Naija, what of a school mate that you admired or a Nigerian colleague? Shoot your shot, you never can tell. If she is still good to go, why not ring her. I will implore you not to marry any of those Americans if you can't handle their craze.

And stop telling all that you dont drink, smoke or womanize. Once a lady discovers that you don't do any of the above, she will tag you boring and she will take you olay kalo kalo.
Even if you dont actually do any of the above, always have a fictitious story of how you used to be a very bad guys in your uni days so that you can get respect from her.
Ladies like a controversial person. If you are too honest,you have entered one chance.
Cheers as you seek for your soul mate.

I disagree with you. He should claim what he isn't because he wants to find love? Many people tell me this, that I'm too gentle and good guy that's why I can't get a girl. But the truth is that if a girl can't like me for who I am, she should go. I will not compromise.

bukatyne:


Hmmmmmm

Real dilemma.

No family friend in Nigeria? Family friend as per a girl you grew with in same church WITH her family.

Not foolproof anyways.

I recommend this lady I quoted. She's sensible judging by her posts.

...

This is very dicey if u really plan to come to Nigeria take this cue.
You can know a person character by watching how dey treat others esp those who have ntin to offer them.it myt be a waiter, a dirty shoemaker, an haggard looking woman,a poor bike rider e.t.c
limiting urself to an age gap lessens ur chances tho.

I'll suggest u speak to friends back home to look around here in Nigeria there are some good girls all around. If ur parents are back home they can be of help too. I won't really suggest u wait until u return. What if then u still don't find ur specs. People here can be of great help

looking for decent ladies nowadays is like looking for a needle in a haystack... I pray u get your heart desire.. unfortunately for you once Nigerian ladies know u are abroad u become a marked man.. just pray.

UyaiIncomparabl:
I don't just know why, but I like this thread. I can't even explain it.

Why won't you like it, when the OP is based in North America. If na one regular naija guy on 70k monthly salary, you go yinmu waka pass.

GuyInTheMirror:

Hey bro, many of them are married . The very few that are not are way over 30 years old.

What's wrong in marrying a great woman in her 30s. Would you rather marry one in her twenties that would make you add 20 years in 2 years of marriage or one that gives you peace and happiness.


Think again.

HarunaWest:
36 is too old ...You are no longer a young man, you are an Uncle...
Dont you have an Ex in Naija, what of a school mate that you admired or a Nigerian colleague? Shoot your shot, you never can tell. If she is still good to go, why not ring her. I will implore you not to marry any of those Americans if you can't handle their craze.

And stop telling all that you dont drink, smoke or womanize. Once a lady discovers that you don't do any of the above, she will tag you boring and she will take you olay kalo kalo.
Even if you dont actually do any of the above, always have a fictitious story of how you used to be a very bad guys in your uni days so that you can get respect from her.
Ladies like a controversial person. If you are too honest,you have entered one chance.
Cheers as you seek for your soul mate.

Shut up. 36 is not too old for a man.

Do you know how old Ned is, yet Regina is birthing his child.

nuelyoyo:
Why won't you like it, when the OP is based in North America. If na one regular naija guy on 70k monthly salary, you go yinmu waka pass.

I won't say anything.

zedegit:


Shut up. 36 is not too old for a man.

Do you know how old Ned is, yet Regina is birthing his child.

That you failed doesn't mean that he should fail... You idiat

HarunaWest:

That you failed doesn't mean that he should fail... You idiat

You are a slowpoke. Do you think everyone is a dumb ass madafvker like you? Ode.

zedegit:


You are a slowpoke. Do you think everyone is a dumb ass madafvker like you? Ode.

Lol
Take your frustration elsewhere dude.. I got no time for dummies

UyaiIncomparabl:
I don't just know why, but I like this thread. I can't even explain it.

Uyai, say the truth and be free.You don't just like the thread,you also like...

HarunaWest:

Lol
Take your frustration elsewhere dude.. I got no time for dummies

Na family section I dey. So it's either you allow me stay in peace or make mod settle the matter.

You know as e dey be.

Galactico4ever:
Uyai, say the truth and be free.You don't just like the thread,you also like...

Hello Poster, you have had some really good advice here, particularly those that said you should be yourself and involve your family members too. I know how difficult it can be finding the right partner even if you are living in Nigeria. I think it is important that you have sufficient time to interact and experience life together with the woman you want to spend the rest of your life with, and phone interactions is not likely to give you that much opportunity. Before I lay out options I think you may explore, I want to inform you that it takes the grace of God to find the right woman, you need God more than ever before, and He is ever willing to help if you will renew your faith in Him as you embark on this ultimate search. Pray, Study the world of God and pay careful attention to your dreams and happenings around you. If you can pray and work hard to get your degrees, get a visa and settle down in the west, you should do even more at this junction as everything you have worked hard for can only be truly enjoyed if you have the right partner. This is not to scare you, but trust me, the best of your calculations may not produce the answers you seek. I appreciate your wanting a much younger woman, but you might miss the right one if you insist on a particular age. Keep an open mind.

Now to the options
- If there is any university in your state or province, you may want to make friends among the Nigerians attending the school. There are good girls who worked hard to gain admission to study abroad, and you can be their good friend 'distraction' and play the 'Big broda'.
- Can you think of any of your family's friends when growing up that you admired for integrity, godliness or any other qualities you consider admirable ( folks from the church or mosque, community or your parents' colleagues), do any of them have a particular daughter you like or that you can confidently recommend for your friend? That is your girl. Start a conversation with her and see if you guys will clique. The good thing about this kind of girl is that you have had the opportunity of assessing her when she was not paying attention. You can then start talking to her and see if she checks out.
- Join a Nigerian church and get active, get particularly close to the Pastor's wife. Pastors' wives tend to know about all the girls in the church, and if she takes you as a younger brother, she might be able to point you in the right direction. If you don't want to play church, look for a Nigerian Egbon that appears to be the rallying point for Nigerians in your city, and get close to them. You can meet girls through them.
- Start a Nigerian community platform in your city for people that shares your interest ( yes, you can and it will pay off big time) and invest yourself in it. This way, you increase your cycle of friends and you may end up being the one to welcome new arrivals from Nigeria to your city i.e. you become the rallying point and you will have the opportunity to help people and find a mate as well.

I think coming back to Nigeria to look for a wife will open you up to deceptions and the girls too are likely tobe drawn to you for the wrong reasons.

I pray the Lord will help you in Jesus name ( Amen)

Option 3 is the best, once a lady finds out who you truly are, she would pretend to be an angel.

Biglittlelois:



You guys are funny lots sha, dating ladies abroad who are aware of the divorce option is okay to you, but bringing a wife abroad from here who becomes aware of the divorce option is a problem to you, why? Why are you scared of that? If you treat your wife right do you think the thought of divorce will cross her mind? Here you guys behave anyhow to your wife because you know the law favours you, and you still want to continue the stupid intimidating evil behaviour because you feel she owes you for bringing her abroad? Smell the coffee dude, pick a better poison and live humbly with it, or stay single and be a baby papa, the world is full of choices.

This is the very kind of mindset that I am talking about.
Alot of these ladies out there are traumatised and do not even realise it.
How can you make this kind of claim without meeting me ? I agree a lot of women have been abused and that happens very often back in Nigeria but not all men are like that.

But when a lady goes around with this kind of mentality it is impossible to please them cos they go about looking for faults in men and looking for ways to express their freedom .

If you live abroad, you'd realise that cultural orientation of a nigerian raised person is totally different from that of an abroad raised person, if you do not live here you wont understand.

I consider cultural compatibility to be very key in marriage and thats part of the reasons I was considering coming back to naija.

Simply put, majority of the ladies I see are not on the same level with me in terms of cultural compatibility and value system and not becuase I intend to abuse them, I am a perfect gentleman.

baldman:
Hello Poster, you have had some really good advice here, particularly those that said you should be yourself and involve your family members too. I know how difficult it can be finding the right partner even if you are living in Nigeria. I think it is important that you have sufficient time to interact and experience life together with the woman you want to spend the rest of your life with, and phone interactions is not likely to give you that much opportunity. Before I lay out options I think you may explore, I want to inform you that it takes the grace of God to find the right woman, you need God more than ever before, and He is ever willing to help if you will renew your faith in Him as you embark on this ultimate search. Pray, Study the world of God and pay careful attention to your dreams and happenings around you. If you can pray and work hard to get your degrees, get a visa and settle down in the west, you should do even more at this junction as everything you have worked hard for can only be truly enjoyed if you have the right partner. This is not to scare you, but trust me, the best of your calculations may not produce the answers you seek. I appreciate your wanting a much younger woman, but you might miss the right one if you insist on a particular age. Keep an open mind.

Now to the options
- If there is any university in your state or province, you may want to make friends among the Nigerians attending the school. There are good girls who worked hard to gain admission to study abroad, and you can be their good friend 'distraction' and play the 'Big broda'.
- Can you think of any of your family's friends when growing up that you admired for integrity, godliness or any other qualities you consider admirable ( folks from the church or mosque, community or your parents' colleagues), do any of them have a particular daughter you like or that you can confidently recommend for your friend? That is your girl. Start a conversation with her and see if you guys will clique. The good thing about this kind of girl is that you have had the opportunity of assessing her when she was not paying attention. You can then start talking to her and see if she checks out.
- Join a Nigerian church and get active, get particularly close to the Pastor's wife. Pastors' wives tend to know about all the girls in the church, and if she takes you as a younger brother, she might be able to point you in the right direction. If you don't want to play church, look for a Nigerian Egbon that appears to be the rallying point for Nigerians in your city, and get close to them. You can meet girls through them.
- Start a Nigerian community platform in your city for people that shares your interest ( yes, you can and it will pay off big time) and invest yourself in it. This way, you increase your cycle of friends and you may end up being the one to welcome new arrivals from Nigeria to your city i.e. you become the rallying point and you will have the opportunity to help people and find a mate as well.

I think coming back to Nigeria to look for a wife will open you up to deceptions and the girls too are likely tobe drawn to you for the wrong reasons.

I pray the Lord will help you in Jesus name ( Amen)

Thank you very much for this,I have gained alot.

elektra:
If you don’t care about race/nationality then I recommend joining a church in the US where you live.
There are some churches here that operate like cults (not trying to be mean just saying the truth). Everyone in the church marries within the church and live church-approved live styles.
It is usually a small-medium sized church where everyone knows everyone and the women are extremely conservative (something you seem to prefer). The rate of divorce in those churches are 0%.
I doubt this suggestion with help with your age stipulation though, cos even conservative <26year old girls in US will prefer to marry someone in their age group. Good luck.

I live in a black minority city. Infact when I am in public spaces I am usually the only black person, it is that bad.
For joining that kind of church I am yet to see that around me.
What I see are regular christians who mostly dont consider divorce to be a big deal.
Infact the bible study leader in my church has been divorced 3 times.

Hardrive:
My brother I suggest you read THE RATIONAL MALE by Rollo Tomassi before you proceed with marriage.

Thanks and I will check it out.

If I were you, I will go for option 3. It's never too late to get it right because it isn't how far but how well.


Be Wise.

Romangalactic:

Apply mbok

No jare. I'll let this one pass.

Galactico4ever:
Uyai, say the truth and be free.You don't just like the thread,you also like...

I won't say anything.