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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. (11722 Views)
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Re: Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. by cooooooks(m): 10:19am On Jun 17, 2020 |
Even if you marry someone from Nigeria direct, they will still divorce if they want to. Canada for example has provisions for victims of abuse who want to divorce. They get PR sharp sharp. annex1: |
Re: Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. by Creamychic(f): 10:19am On Jun 17, 2020 |
izzou: This comment is EVERYTHING! 3 Likes |
Re: Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. by pocohantas(f): 10:20am On Jun 17, 2020 |
saucecode: Always resist the urge to be on my matter. 5 Likes |
Re: Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. by Romangalactic(m): 10:23am On Jun 17, 2020 |
annex1:NBS agrees with me. Go and argue with them about their nearsighted poverty statistics in nigeria. Generalizations are always formed from majority, full stop! I already told the guy to follow unnerve's suggestion,that was actually the only thing I read from someone also in diaspora. The rest of you are simply filling the thread up with your emotions. 3 Likes |
Re: Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. by annex1: 10:24am On Jun 17, 2020 |
cooooooks: I was only discussing the options he provided and weighing all sides. So in lieu off all you just said maybe mirror guy should not just marry. |
Re: Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. by Romangalactic(m): 10:27am On Jun 17, 2020 |
saucecode: 1 Like |
Re: Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. by pocohantas(f): 10:34am On Jun 17, 2020 |
izzou: Lmao @ deployed. The angel is coming. Perfect people them. 2 Likes |
Re: Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. by cooooooks(m): 10:34am On Jun 17, 2020 |
Lol. The overthinking of things may ultimately be useless tbh. The problem is that OP is thinking in generalities. OP is not talking about specific people. He's talking about 'abroad Naija', ' Naija based' and 'foreign'. He's reducing every single woman to a stereotype. I understand OP tbh. I stayed in Nigeria for 2 years recently and, even though I was not 'looking for wife', I still met just 2 people that I could see the possibility of something meaningful. I'm not saying that wife dey everywhere but dem dey. Na d same Naija Al of us come from. annex1: 1 Like |
Re: Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. by Ishilove: 10:36am On Jun 17, 2020 |
pocohantas:Jeez 1 Like |
Re: Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. by pocohantas(f): 10:37am On Jun 17, 2020 |
Ariza: And they can stress someone’s life ehn. You will just be walking on eggshells, trying to be Miss Goody-Two-Shoes. 3 Likes |
Re: Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. by pocohantas(f): 10:38am On Jun 17, 2020 |
Ishilove: Sorry o. E shock you? |
Re: Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. by cooooooks(m): 10:43am On Jun 17, 2020 |
You and saucecode should call me when the rice is ready abeg. pocohantas: |
Re: Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. by pocohantas(f): 10:45am On Jun 17, 2020 |
cooooooks: As in, I should leave my sucre papito for saucecode? I get brain problem? Maybe OP will marry him. If he is finding it hard trusting women, he can try men. 5 Likes |
Re: Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. by cooooooks(m): 10:45am On Jun 17, 2020 |
This your constant emphasis on perfect people dey suspect. pocohantas: |
Re: Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. by Nobody: 10:51am On Jun 17, 2020 |
pocohantas:LOL. Once a guy has that "she may be after my money" or "she is probably pretending" mindset it takes lots of work to change his mind that's if it's possible self because at the end,it is either the woman lose her true nature or she stop giving a hoot. It's very stressful dealing with people who are likely to misunderstand little actions because they "have something to protect" . Op should go back to option 3, let him build things from scratch but heaven help him if the lady he finds isn't interested in relocating to the country he's based only then will he realize that things aren't set in stones anymore. Ladies are no longer eggs you can pick and go "hatch" wherever you want. They demand more than just money from Marriage these days. 5 Likes |
Re: Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. by Ishilove: 10:53am On Jun 17, 2020 |
pocohantas:The image of a gargantuan preek surging out of the Atlantic ocean like Willy the Whale flashed through my mind. It shocked even me 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. by Ishilove: 10:56am On Jun 17, 2020 |
izzou:Sense wee not kee you 1 Like |
Re: Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. by pocohantas(f): 10:56am On Jun 17, 2020 |
cooooooks: For Christ sake, nobody has it all. Make compromises... |
Re: Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. by Creamychic(f): 10:58am On Jun 17, 2020 |
GuyInTheMirror: I think the point he's trying to make is that, like every other option, there are no guarantees. Of course there are fantastic ladies in Nigeria that would make superb wives, BUT, you've further reduced your chances of finding one by putting up all these requirements that some people see as unnecessary. If you want to explore the option of coming to Nigeria later to find a spouse, how do you think that'll work? considering you've only recently left and you were unsuccessful in all the time you lived here. Do you think you were not intentional enough? 1 Like |
Re: Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. by Romangalactic(m): 10:59am On Jun 17, 2020 |
Ariza:Story for the Hindu gods 1 Like
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Re: Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. by annex1: 11:02am On Jun 17, 2020 |
Romangalactic: Mr NBS statistics. Sorry NBS hasnt carried out such jobless baba ijebu statistic of "8 out of 10 girls will fall for abroad based man" and men wouldn't (reversed) However, sensible statistics that has been carried out as I've seen in NBS is for example unemployment statistics by gender and that was last done 2018 third quarter. That also piqued my interest considering someone likely and I hope as educated as yourself can call this Lies? Many ladies in Nigeria are gainfully employed in multinationals, living effing comfortably. LIES [url]https://nigerianstat.gov.ng/elibrary?queries[search]=unemployment[/url] As per females 26% unemployed while 25.9% under-employed. You cant tell a dullard the remaining 48% wont or cant be living comfortably. And that itself is a substantial amount for mirror guy to find skilled set to trade off. Let me again quickly employ your baba ijebu expert mode of statistics. You are likening unemployment and poverty rate of females as sole reason for your baba ijebu "8 out of 10 will fall face flat". So in what order should baba ijebu rate men who have unemployment rate of 20.3% and 15.4 under-employment? "7 out of 10"? Let's make it 11 out of 10. You know how Nigerian Men are master deceptors Does this make sense to you? How does it relate? Even both gainfully employed members of both sexes would still fancy an abroad based spouse. Oga NBS has no time for such jobless statistic. Petition baba ijebu to carry one out for you. 4 Likes |
Re: Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. by Nobody: 11:05am On Jun 17, 2020 |
Romangalactic:You likely want me to argue the bolded but I won't here is why: You are probably surrounded by money gulping bunch of women who would rather choose money over sanity. Women who are dependent , lazy, unambitious, self absorbed and materialistic. No it would be unfair of me to try to impose personalities of women around me on you. You won't even comprehend. So dude, you are entitled to your opinion, let me have mine. Thanks. 3 Likes |
Re: Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. by vululadilolo: 11:07am On Jun 17, 2020 |
I think I know your other moniker(s). Like some people told you above, you need to compromise on your ideals specially the type of (submissive ) woman you seem to be looking for. Most relationships/marriages nowadays are based on compromises. So you will probably have to compromise on your "traditional" ( archaic?) views on gender roles. Also work on yourself. You are probably not the perfect catch you think you are. Overall, It seems that you might be better off looking for someone who has a "similar" background as yours: a "recent" skilled immigrant, probably older than 26, in the process of "integrating" / settling in the "new" country etc. But you will have to open your mind to her not being as submissive as you would want it. Good luck! 3 Likes |
Re: Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. by Romangalactic(m): 11:11am On Jun 17, 2020 |
annex1:Took you a while to finish browsing NBS. And still at the end, you still didn't understand what living effing comfortably means. Perhaps being able to eat food and pay rent of 200/300k a year is what living comfortably reach for you, not my fault. As u also don't know the population of females in nigeria for you to claim that many work in multinationals, still not my fault. Just apply for wife position so the OP can consider u and stop pouring saliva on my mentions. 2 Likes |
Re: Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. by Romangalactic(m): 11:11am On Jun 17, 2020 |
Ariza:STORY 3 Likes |
Re: Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. by pocohantas(f): 11:12am On Jun 17, 2020 |
Ariza: It is draining trying to prove yourself to someone. This is not even about OP’s gender, I will tell the same thing to anyone in his shoes. You can NEVER get the best out of people when you constantly put them on the spot! Be open-minded and make healthy compromises. 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. by Ishilove: 11:17am On Jun 17, 2020 |
Y'all love arguing in this section. 1 Like |
Re: Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. by annex1: 11:25am On Jun 17, 2020 |
Romangalactic: It is what intelligent people do. They read to understand. Not going to baba ijebu to collect numbers and juxtapose them on stupid generalizations. Your reply dropped my IQ a bit. You by your baba ijebu self came up with NBS poverty level statistics as basis for your unintelligent and now infamous "8 out of 10". Oh you can use it as yardstick to measure females "gold digging for NORTH American husband" but a bad yardstick for Men. You are the S.I unit of confused. As for the claim that many women are gainfully employed. I dont know what hole you've been in but It is glaring, public offices, sensitive positions they are there. I dont need to remind you how most organisations now enforce diversity and inclusion especially in employment. So for every 6 men employed, at least 4 women are taken too. Something baba ijebu wouldn't let you know. No I dont need a baba ijebu quantitative researcher like you to conjure fake numbers. Just apply for wife position so the OP can consider u and stop pouring saliva on my mentions. And no, I am not the one confused about marriage and ladies "penchant for feigning love to north american husband". It is mirror guy and you clearly. You should be his spouse. 8 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. by GuyInTheMirror: 11:26am On Jun 17, 2020 |
Creamychic:I think so . |
Re: Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. by Romangalactic(m): 11:36am On Jun 17, 2020 |
annex1:Many are gainfully employed and effing comfortable out of over 90million females in nigeria = those found in multinationals, public offices, and sensitive positions. You are the best statistician ever 2 Likes
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Re: Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. by annex1: 11:45am On Jun 17, 2020 |
Romangalactic: A lot of organisations and multinationals have a detailed percentage of female staff in their employ by regions. An example of this is KPMG and there are a host of others https://home.kpmg/ng/en/home/about/people/diversity-and-culture.html If you learn to read do a proper research you'll know this. But baba ijebu wont let you be great. Broaden your horizon. LoL in your mind. And how typical of you to say this. I even thought you were a homosexual to suggest it. When someone bruises your stupid misogynist ego you assume it is a woman you are dealing with. Multiple Shames on You! Just apply for wife position so the OP can consider u and stop pouring saliva on my mentions 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Advise Needed For A Young Man About Marriage. by Nobody: 12:33pm On Jun 17, 2020 |
Ariza: For every demand i belief their should be a corresponding supply. yesteday i read a post, a lady challenged men to propose with valuables and properties instead of old fashion ring.. no wahala buh there is one question that as remained unanswered for centuries .. Q: Asides "sex" what can women supply. |
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