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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Nigerian Women And Abortion (10413 Views)
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Re: Nigerian Women And Abortion by cococandy(f): 3:44pm On Jun 18, 2020 |
Unnerve: No it’s not. at least to my knowledge. But Generally, a married woman who has an abortion by whatever route she’s able to get it often feels like less of a bad person than a single woman who did it. The fact that hospitals will do abortions for married ladies but not the single ones speaks volumes. Yes some hospitals do this. 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Nigerian Women And Abortion by armyofone(m): 3:50pm On Jun 18, 2020 |
Yeah, it also means Nigerians are fu- ck-ing their way through life. They use intimacy for relaxation and stress relief The reason why they have too many children than they can care for. So sad they refuse to break the circle. They still marry more than one or side chick their life away. It is a long tale told by a real person. Keep it up husband and wife/wives/sidechicks/concubines lalanice: 2 Likes |
Re: Nigerian Women And Abortion by bukatyne(f): 3:50pm On Jun 18, 2020 |
Hathor5: This lady If we are going moral and righteous, it is no sex before marriage which negates this thread. You simply want to eat your cake and have it. In the days of old, women were seen as unequal to men and perceived to be liable to deceit. As a result, they were protected by gunshot weddings. No man got a virgin or decent girl pregnant and could deny it. All it takes is for a crying pregnant girl to finger you as the father of her unborn child and gbam! it is marriage (to save face for the girl and family and hold the guy responsible for enticing a girl). In this system, women did not enjoy the autonomy over their bodies they do today and it was seen as a crime for a woman to abort a baby without the father's consent. Sexual liberation came and men are the same as women, women are wise enough not to be deceived, women can decide the number of partners they have, there is no shame in baby mamaism, abortion is pro-choice, it is our body to do as we want etc. And yet, you still want to enjoy the protection of old where women were seen as victims because they were not equal footing and consequently treated as such? It doesn't work that way. You wear the big girl pants now, take responsibility for pregnancy and STDs, let the guy take responsibility for STDs. Come to think of it, a guy can not force you to keep a pregnancy you don't want so why do you want to force him to father a child he doesn't want? Where is the equality in that? 8 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Nigerian Women And Abortion by pmoye(m): 3:51pm On Jun 18, 2020 |
I agree with you 100%. Abstinence is the most effective contraception but if we are being realistic we will also recognize that different people for various reasons will not be interested in abstinence, and neither can we force others (men and women alike) to abide by abstinence... But should others feel the need to have sex, then I think the woman should have the freedom and the exclusive right to decide if she is indeed willing to expose her body to implications of pregnancy. Even in marriage. Sixfeetbelle: |
Re: Nigerian Women And Abortion by Unnerve: 3:51pm On Jun 18, 2020 |
Hathor5:Well my first quote to you was simply to let you know that when it comes to men having sex indiscriminately without thinking of consequences, it's not a Nigerian thing. I also never expected you to discuss the sex lives of your family members here, I only stated that to get a better understanding of what I meant, you could ask. The information you get from asking would have been yours alone. Perhaps you should try not getting so unnerved (pun intended) at anyone who isn't in complete agreement with you. 2 Likes |
Re: Nigerian Women And Abortion by Hathor5(f): 3:53pm On Jun 18, 2020 |
bukatyne: The pregnancy is hers, the child is theirs. If he doesn't want a child, he should wear a condom. Thanks for helping me make my point. Don't be smart by half. 16 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Nigerian Women And Abortion by Unnerve: 3:53pm On Jun 18, 2020 |
cococandy:This is good to know, I honestly didn't. |
Re: Nigerian Women And Abortion by Nobody: 3:54pm On Jun 18, 2020 |
bukatyne:Seriously I didn't see that. It's well. |
Re: Nigerian Women And Abortion by Hathor5(f): 3:57pm On Jun 18, 2020 |
Unnerve: But it's a Nigerian thing to justify it with 'she will suffer greater consequences' and get scot free. Explains to some extent why this part of the world has highest rate of infections. 3 Likes |
Re: Nigerian Women And Abortion by bukatyne(f): 3:57pm On Jun 18, 2020 |
Hathor5: Keep cancelling my posts. Your friend is giving her boyfriend ultimatum in the other thread to marry her after several abortions. The pregnancy is hers; the baby is theirs. No specie is as confused as you 21st century people who want to eat their cake and have it or not take responsibility for your actions. None. 8 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: Nigerian Women And Abortion by Nobody: 3:58pm On Jun 18, 2020 |
Hathor5:Babe, seriously or is this for pun If he don't want a child, he should wear a condom. Common. Haba |
Re: Nigerian Women And Abortion by armyofone(m): 3:59pm On Jun 18, 2020 |
Insist !!! they should be doing just that and stand her ground! Today na todayish no condom no s.e. x. pmoye: 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Nigerian Women And Abortion by Hathor5(f): 3:59pm On Jun 18, 2020 |
bukatyne: Stop derailing to distract from the poor arguments you are putting forth here. A few lines were enough to addressed your lack of logical reasoning. No long epistle needed. 12 Likes |
Re: Nigerian Women And Abortion by bukatyne(f): 4:00pm On Jun 18, 2020 |
sassysure: That is what birthed all these abortion threads upandan. https://www.nairaland.com/5932549/girlfriend-threatened-break-up-dont |
Re: Nigerian Women And Abortion by Hathor5(f): 4:01pm On Jun 18, 2020 |
sassysure: Sassy, will you tell your sons to be irresponsible? Will you? Even if you guard your daughters more you don't want your sons to have bastards all over the place and you don't want them to get sick either. Do you? 10 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Nigerian Women And Abortion by bukatyne(f): 4:01pm On Jun 18, 2020 |
sassysure: Pregnancy is different from baby na. |
Re: Nigerian Women And Abortion by Hathor5(f): 4:01pm On Jun 18, 2020 |
bukatyne: Is it me who is saying that 50% of the population don't have to take responsibility or you? Your confusion is serious. 13 Likes |
Re: Nigerian Women And Abortion by bukatyne(f): 4:02pm On Jun 18, 2020 |
Hathor5: @bold: So says the lady who claims the pregnancy is for the woman while the baby is for the man & woman. 4 Likes |
Re: Nigerian Women And Abortion by Hathor5(f): 4:03pm On Jun 18, 2020 |
bukatyne: So your children don't have a father? 13 Likes |
Re: Nigerian Women And Abortion by Nobody: 4:05pm On Jun 18, 2020 |
You exclude men from sexual responsibility yet you complain of Rapists and deadbeat fathers, issokay I dey look all of you. 4 Likes 1 Share
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Re: Nigerian Women And Abortion by cococandy(f): 4:05pm On Jun 18, 2020 |
bukatyne: 1) Asking a man to participate in birth control is not female victimhood. I can’t see how you got to that conclusion 2) The man is not protecting the woman alone by participating. He’s protecting himself also. They are protecting each other. Because sensibly, two step protection is better than one 3) you almost sound like you have something against sexual liberation. @bold, I have the answer to my question which you tried to respond cheekily to earlier which is “should men also practice responsibility to prevent unwanted pregnancies?”. I’m guessing your response is no. 13 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Nigerian Women And Abortion by Sixfeetbelle: 4:07pm On Jun 18, 2020 |
pmoye: And if she is, it should be nobody's damned business. Whether being a single mother (cause the man denied his responsibility) or committing abortion (cause the man was irresponsible). The be and end of this discuss is that whatever a woman decides to do with complications of sex should be her decision. Safe sex isn't guaranteed and neither is contraceptives 100% effective. 3 Likes |
Re: Nigerian Women And Abortion by Unnerve: 4:10pm On Jun 18, 2020 |
pmoye:Thanks for this. Bold text especially. |
Re: Nigerian Women And Abortion by bukatyne(f): 4:16pm On Jun 18, 2020 |
cococandy: My response was facetious. I have not read on this thread that men should not be taught or encouraged to prevent themselves from unwanted father. However, common sense dictates that the person with the higher risk would be more concerned mitigating it. For instance, if we were neighbors and you live downstairs while I am upstairs in a water logged area, who do you think would be more concerned when rain falls? Who would insist on a resolution if the compound is water logged and sipping into your flat? Who would declare an emergency, get a day off and look for people to fix the issue? Me in my dry flat upstairs? If you invested 10% of your life savings in a restaurant and I invested 90% in January before pandemic hit, who would be having high BP now people can no longer eat out? You that still have 90% to yourself? The cost of an unwanted pregnancy or popping pills is higher on the woman than the man. It is therefore the responsibility of the woman to ensure nothing goes wrong. If the guy says he is a skydiver, enter the lagoon and dive there. Some posters have suggested 'no condom, no sex' etc. 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Nigerian Women And Abortion by liberalchick(f): 4:16pm On Jun 18, 2020 |
bukatyne:I just want to quickly correct a misconception about ‘morals’. Morals are subjective and personal. “No sex before marriage” is a personal moral of some that isn’t true for ALL. A subjective moral shouldn’t be imposed on all. 17 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Nigerian Women And Abortion by bukatyne(f): 4:19pm On Jun 18, 2020 |
liberalchick: Can you share any moral code that encourages sex before marriage? |
Re: Nigerian Women And Abortion by Acidosis(m): 4:21pm On Jun 18, 2020 |
donbachi: I hope you didn't marry a virgin though? |
Re: Nigerian Women And Abortion by Nobody: 4:25pm On Jun 18, 2020 |
Some people just like skin to skin too much on this thread. what's wrong with a man using a condom? Isn't he protecting himself from STDs, fake pregnancy accusations, unwanted pregnancy, unprepared for fatherhood amidst others? This thread ehn , it's sweeting my belly. 4 Likes 2 Shares
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Re: Nigerian Women And Abortion by cococandy(f): 4:25pm On Jun 18, 2020 |
You’re trying to use analogies to drive a point home that I already stated to you that I got. Not necessary. The only thing I wanted to verify is why it’s so controversial to include men in the topic of prevention. bukatyne: 13 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Nigerian Women And Abortion by bukatyne(f): 4:26pm On Jun 18, 2020 |
cococandy: If a woman has autonomy over her body and decide to keep/abort a pregnancy, why are we dragging men into it? That negates the autonomy. 1. Read the full post you quoted. 2. You are still dancing around. Whether we like it or not, the woman naturally bears the brunt of sexual encounters gone awry pregnancy wise. If you are going to hold the guy for not preventing pregnancy, what happens if the guy says he wants a baby and the lady says no? 3. As a Christian, sex outside of marriage is a sin. So I don't understand what sexual liberation means except you are saying 'a husband/wife have the liberty to hang themselves from the chandeliers in their sitting room.' 1 Like |
Re: Nigerian Women And Abortion by pmoye(m): 4:26pm On Jun 18, 2020 |
Actually it was that other thread that you alluded to that made me start this. After reading that the lady had aborted severally for that irresponsible man (irresponsible even at 29) I kept wondering what she would have gained if any of the abortion had gone the wrong way. And to think that a woman would so submit her body to be toiled with at will to a man never ceases to surprise. I think we have established the fact that men having unprotected sex when we are not ready to be father is irresponsible and we have courts and social instruments to make the man own his responsibility in such a situation... Even then there are men who are unable to stand up to their bukata in such situation. Take that other post for instance, getting pregnant for a man who cannot even fend for himself, the shame of a man who still lives on his father's hand-outs, must be a nasty experience for a mother-to-be. But then all that will not remove the fact that the morbidity and mortality associated with getting pregnant (planned or not) belongs exclusively to a woman, and because of that alone the woman should have the final say when it comes to getting pregnant (planned or not). bukatyne: 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Nigerian Women And Abortion by bukatyne(f): 4:27pm On Jun 18, 2020 |
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