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Re: Nigerian Women And Abortion by cococandy(f): 4:28pm On Jun 18, 2020 |
bukatyne: Morality is about doing good and evil, right and wrong. There’s nothing inherently good or evil about sex. It’s just like food. A Physiological need/want. 16 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: Nigerian Women And Abortion by Unnerve: 4:28pm On Jun 18, 2020 |
Hathor5:Oh dear, see I perfectly understand how the use of certain words and phrases like 'she will suffer greater consequences' can rub people the wrong way. Believe me, I do. But it doesn't negate the truth. We could all decide to be politically correct and just say 'both father and mother have equal consequences' but this would be a lie. Even in societies where child support is mandatory, the woman is still the one with the greatest consequence after getting pregnant. Her life is slowed down during her pregnancy, her body changes, her work was affected, etc. After birthing, she's the one looking after the child. She's the one taking him to school, doing his homework, taking him to the doctor's appointment, she can't even hang out with her girls as often as she would want, she can't party as much, her work life is altered because she's a single mother. Now guess what? Baby daddy whose only job is to send in checks is busy partying with his boys, probably still meeting and having sex with other women and living the life of a single man. Sending child support did not altered his lifestyle in any way so while you may assume he did not go scot free, the realistic fact is that he actually has because no law on earth can force him to be present in that child's life. And this basically sums up the idea behind the thread. I have typed too much 4 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: Nigerian Women And Abortion by bukatyne(f): 4:28pm On Jun 18, 2020 |
cococandy: Because men do not carry the risk women have. And my people would say: Na the person wey get mata know how to solve am. |
Re: Nigerian Women And Abortion by bukatyne(f): 4:30pm On Jun 18, 2020 |
cococandy: You have not answered my question to her: Do you know any moral code that supports sex before marriage? And I agree, there is nothing wrong about sex. Like other things, it has its use: For pro-creation and intimacy in marriage. 1 Like |
Re: Nigerian Women And Abortion by bukatyne(f): 4:32pm On Jun 18, 2020 |
pmoye: Well, we can all be politically correct. A lady in the fix has given an ultimatum because as push comes to shove, she realizes that she is the loser in that equation. 1 Like |
Re: Nigerian Women And Abortion by Hathor5(f): 4:34pm On Jun 18, 2020 |
Unnerve: I have said SEVERAL times on this thread that I acknowledge the fact that women "suffer greater consequences". I even stated that women must take responsibility to protect themselves. Greater consequences does not translate to no consequences for the other party involved though and does not mean that boys should not have any responsibility at all. Why is something so simple so difficult to comprehend? 8 Likes |
Re: Nigerian Women And Abortion by Nobody: 4:35pm On Jun 18, 2020 |
Hathor5:I am a realist. So real babe. In as much as I will teach my sons to do the right thing, I will be more strict on my daughter's cos in Nigeria I know today, a girl with known std is bad market, a girl who people know did abortion is bad market. A babymama is bad market. So I will do all I can to protect my girl from the toxic Nigerian society. The worst is after all the humiliation and taking care of this child, the man will now come and claim his child. This alone will make me train my daughter never to let her guard down when it comes to sex as far as Nigeria is concerned. It does not favour us at all. Our society is not changing anytime soon. We will only look for ways to make things easier and better for us. In my place, at least that child is yours( that's our culture) But other places, after suffering, one man from nowhere will come and say sorry and thats that? 2 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Nigerian Women And Abortion by Unnerve: 4:36pm On Jun 18, 2020 |
bukatyne:Lol, there's something about you. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Nigerian Women And Abortion by Acidosis(m): 4:36pm On Jun 18, 2020 |
bukatyne: Lol. The thing shock me my sister |
Re: Nigerian Women And Abortion by Unnerve: 4:40pm On Jun 18, 2020 |
Hathor5:It's aii, we cool |
Re: Nigerian Women And Abortion by Hathor5(f): 4:41pm On Jun 18, 2020 |
sassysure: I agree. Does it mean that your boys will be taught not to protect themselves? 6 Likes |
Re: Nigerian Women And Abortion by pmoye(m): 4:42pm On Jun 18, 2020 |
I believe this is an open discussion regardless of what you had perceived the intention of the Op (me) to be. And there's nothing stopping you from including men in the topic of prevention. You should notice that I wrote that exclusively from the point of view of a lady (from another thread) so readily agreeing to abort (severally) for an irresponsible man who preferred to have unprotected sex with her. That was my alarm. And yes, I have seen several such cases that had ended badly for the woman. I cannot begin to count how many women (married and single) that I had had this discussion with trying to educate them that their body belonged to them and not some irresponsible men whose only concern is having sex raw. You would ask me why it wasn't men I was so educating. That's simply because once pregnancy happens you almost never find men accompanying their women in search of solution (whatever we might want to describe as solution). And yes, I had worked for years in this area in Nigeria. Kindly ask anyone in the health sector in Nigeria who deal with such cases and try asking them to include men in blame sharing and topic of prevention... You will immediately realize how impossible that is, because even in marriage too many men are so irresponsible that they refuse to accompany their women to antenatal care... That is the reality in a lot of cases in Nigeria. And apologies to men and women who have functional relationship where the man is on top of his game. This post is not about such exceptions. So, yes, men should be included in the topic of prevention except that will still not change the fact that women should take ownership of their bodies. cococandy: |
Re: Nigerian Women And Abortion by Hathor5(f): 4:42pm On Jun 18, 2020 |
Unnerve: I am still not unnerved. 2 Likes |
Re: Nigerian Women And Abortion by Nobody: 4:42pm On Jun 18, 2020 |
cococandy:They do. Be it single or married. It's coded. Also married women do abortion more in Nigeria. Do you know that? Ask any naija Dr around you who agree he does abortion cos most of them also pretend they don't do that. Infact, in some private hospitals, if u agree to do abortion, u will be paid double the salary you receive. Most females don't agree but men, u know how far Abortion is the quickest and easiest way to make money in our private hospitals. A very known secret. North has the highest abortion clinics. 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Nigerian Women And Abortion by Nobody: 4:46pm On Jun 18, 2020 |
Hathor5:I have answered that already na. But let me say it again. I will teach them, their dad will teach them but as for my daughter double,triple teaching I don't want story at all. At the end, it's all left to them but at least I did my best to educate them. Maybe you live outside naija. In this obodo naijiria, na sense o. 1 Like |
Re: Nigerian Women And Abortion by pmoye(m): 4:47pm On Jun 18, 2020 |
Spot on! sassysure: |
Re: Nigerian Women And Abortion by Nobody: 4:52pm On Jun 18, 2020 |
pmoye:Abeg, show me the link to that thread. Seems this is the continuation from it. |
Re: Nigerian Women And Abortion by bukatyne(f): 4:53pm On Jun 18, 2020 |
sassysure: |
Re: Nigerian Women And Abortion by Hathor5(f): 4:53pm On Jun 18, 2020 |
sassysure: I understand the concern is greater for daughters for obvious reasons but if we only teach our daughters responsibility, we won't get far. 9 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Nigerian Women And Abortion by bukatyne(f): 4:54pm On Jun 18, 2020 |
sassysure: I copied you with the link na. |
Re: Nigerian Women And Abortion by cococandy(f): 4:55pm On Jun 18, 2020 |
bukatyne:Yes indeed she has autonomy over her body. Up until the pregnancy is viable, she can decide how she wants to handle the situation. Once the child is on earth and is a living breathing human, it’s not her sole decision anymore. And that human being that the child has become after its arrival on earth will always be linked to him hence he dragged himself into it by dipping raw in the first place. She’s not dragging him into it. He did. 2. You are still dancing around. Whether we like it or not, the woman naturally bears the brunt of sexual encounters gone awry pregnancy wise. If you are going to hold the guy for not preventing pregnancy, what happens if the guy says he wants a baby and the lady says no?@bold, another repetition of something I already agreed with. How am I dancing around if I already stated I recognize this yet you you’re using it as countering point to me? If the man wants a baby and the woman says no, he should let her be and find someone who wants a baby. If he doesn’t want a baby, he should use protection. She should use protection if she doesn’t want a baby. If she wants a baby, ideally she should do it with someone who wants a baby like her too. You said and I paraphrase “sexual liberation came and men and women became equal”. Why say it if you don’t understand it? I was only quoting your post at that time. bukatyne: It’s okay to have the opinion that men should not be sexually responsible about pregnancy prevention. But you have to own it and stand by it. You can’t say I’m dancing around yet you are not making a definitive stance on the issue. It won’t make the men who have been careful all along start going out to have reckless random sex. But your opinion has to be clear. The fact woman have more to put up with if a pregnancy occurs doesn’t mean that teaching men to help in prevention should be controversial. As far as I’m concerned there was no argument to be had here. Except that the thread in a few posts started showing what it was born to do. Shame women 12 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: Nigerian Women And Abortion by cococandy(f): 4:56pm On Jun 18, 2020 |
Yes. And they also don’t want to loose their licenses or pay huge fines sassysure: |
Re: Nigerian Women And Abortion by cococandy(f): 4:58pm On Jun 18, 2020 |
Hathor5: And with this, the thread can be closed. Dunno what any further debate should be about. Except to say “don’t teach boys” . 7 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Nigerian Women And Abortion by Nobody: 4:59pm On Jun 18, 2020 |
Hathor5:But I never said we will only teach our daughter We will teach all of them BUT more puking the ear for our daughters. Our society is shit. A guy on the first page here said a babe almost died when they did concoction abortion and ended up taking her to hospital. Now he is married to another babe. Why didn't he marry her? That guy who gave you belle, and u did abortion with his knowledge will not marry you. Babes don't let guys know they did it, else, end of love. If a guy will not marry you after making you do it, then why will you allow yourself get pregnant in the first place. Love is never blind o. Shine your eye. Unless u believe in juju 2 Likes |
Re: Nigerian Women And Abortion by pmoye(m): 5:02pm On Jun 18, 2020 |
Here mrfranky: sassysure: |
Re: Nigerian Women And Abortion by Nobody: 5:04pm On Jun 18, 2020 |
bukatyne:Seems i didnt see it. Can u copy it again pls? Thanks Don't worry, I've seen it |
Re: Nigerian Women And Abortion by Nobody: 5:05pm On Jun 18, 2020 |
sassysure:If this is the case then why is no one really investigating on the cause and get to the Root of this. You know I so find Most Nigerians very shallow and hypocritical. If married woman engage in abortion more then how such women can condemn same act in others beats my imagination. Selective morality at work again isn't it?. Are they not endangering their lives too? Aren't they commiting murder too? Aren't they supposed to take responsibility of their sexual lives, calculate their flows, "get educated about their system" to avoid pregnancy like I'm read some ladies instruct on this thread. Lol But then Na single ladies enter trouble for 9ja. That's not even where I'm going, My issue is why aren't women seeing the need to involve men in birth control. Why do they exclude men or Male child from sex education and taking responsibility? Why are Men not taught how to keep their bodies too? Now this isn't feminism or equality reasoning it's just how any sane individual will reason. So far with all the morals and fear we all try to instill in the female child look at where it got us. When a society makes a specific gender the moral keeper and allow the other to live freely, then it is only a matter of time before morality is destroyed. It is either the free one corrupt the morally trained one or the latter lose strength or willingness to keep up. We create a fence and also create erosion in the same society and we expect flood free environment. We be jokers ! Bunch of jokers! . Men should be held responsible for pregnancy just as women. It takes two to tangle, ovary and sperm to form embryo. You can't blame just one gender because she's the carrier. Then sex education and abstainance should be inculcated in both genders. 13 Likes 5 Shares |
Re: Nigerian Women And Abortion by Hathor5(f): 5:07pm On Jun 18, 2020 |
sassysure: The society is shit because of attitudes such as this ... sassysure: It takes two people, a man and a woman, to have a pregnancy. 6 Likes |
Re: Nigerian Women And Abortion by cococandy(f): 5:07pm On Jun 18, 2020 |
bukatyne: My answer implies that there’s no moral code which includes sex before or after anything. The Sex act itself has nothing to do with morality (the concept of good versus bad, light versus darkness, etc.) Hence if we are having various categories of morality and different types of moral codes, sex won’t necessarily be included in any of them. Whether before or after marriage. If we are talking about hurting your loved one by sneaking behind their back, then it’s a different issue . 12 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Nigerian Women And Abortion by liberalchick(f): 5:09pm On Jun 18, 2020 |
sassysure: How will it change when people are stick in the mud? When we retain the status quo nothing changes. Culture is the collective thinking, norms of its people. What changes a thinking and creating a new normal? Upbringing. You ensure the society remains harsh for your daughter by repeating the same mistakes our forebears did. It isn’t rigid it can be dynamic towards a positive trend. You’re making the argument of people who say Nigerian Mothers are responsible for the misogyny in the Nigerian culture. 14 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Nigerian Women And Abortion by Unnerve: 5:10pm On Jun 18, 2020 |
Hathor5:Have a drink, eat some veggies, perhaps have some orgasmic sex, then sleep in cool temperature. Immediately you wake up, do nothing else but read only your comments on the thread. 3 Likes |
Re: Nigerian Women And Abortion by cococandy(f): 5:10pm On Jun 18, 2020 |
Ariza: Feminism/equality reasoning is the only way sane folks reason 3 Likes |
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