Tiredagain:




There’s a particular chat I had the previous night with him and believe me i can't deem fit to show someone else..

NB: It is not a sex chat

Tiredagain:





All the the fights we have had over the course of the relationship was nothing serious about... He can just wake up and decide to ignore me for like weeks or months and all those times, I will be the one begging for the attention.. I decided to stop those nonsenses this year and then he started stalking me, when we made up over the phone, he agreed on catching up only for him to come up with this too..

I relayed to my best friend, he said that I should sort things out with him even if it will cost our friendship because he knows I loved the dude genuinely..

My problem now is whether to make the 1st move

slam7000:


You are in a bad relationship that will bring you sadness and depression. Sorry to be blunt. The signs are there already but you have chosen to ignore and let feelings blind you.

Whatever you do with his guy. Don’t ever marry and live in the same house with him. He will cause you so much sadness.

JourneytoEL:
with all these signs you are still calling him fiance and planning to marry him. tomorrow you will start saying marriage na scam. this guy is obviously a narcissist. I will advise you to break off that relationship unless you don't care about your mental wellbeing

pretydiva:
My dear leave him alone. He's got insecurity issues

Tiredagain:

So recently, after making up with my fiance, he wanted to meet up with me after so many months, I obliged, only for him to request for my phone, I gave him voluntarily, as he was going through it, he wanted to open the chat I had with my best friend but I forcefully collected the phone from him. I tried talking him out that there's nothing going on between me and my colleague but he assumed and concluded that something is going on between us . He said that my attitude shows that I value my best friend more than him but i tried proving him wrong because some many times, I needed his attention he wasn't there and my best friend is the only one who knows everything and vice versa.. He told me right through my eyes that it is over.

nwachukwu9:
this Life is very funny.you are advising someone to leave her relationship with the man she loves. While you yourself you are enjoying your relationship with the man you genuinely love.95% of people always run away from a problem, while only 5% solve a problem. People that solves problems tends to be more successful than those that runs from problem

kurupt1:
What are you doing with a male best friend when you already have a boyfriend
Please pick one

Mandela27:
Now that's how a man should act or even more sef.
You women are bunch of crazy misplaced priorities.why on earth should u have a male best friend?

Sixfeetbelle:


And you don't female friends?

LabuleofNigeria:


female friends is far different from female BEST friend.
Tell us the role of a MALE best friend to a married woman or soon-to-wed lady ?

Palema007:
Tiredagain please leave your unstable boyfriend alone, a person that ghost you at will is very unstable and unreliable. He knows you love him so much and he is acting on it. What would become of you if you lose your friendship only for him to go for months without communication. Please I don't know why you still stick in that 'situationship' because what you are into isn't a relationship. Let him go and find a better person you both can connect.

However, when you are in a new relationship with a reliable guy then accord him his respect by reducing your closeness with your bestie. I wish you luck and peace.

Sixfeetbelle:


I don't know their roles but I find it insane to conjure people advising others to not have friends of the opposite sex. Granted the best friend in this case is a bit extreme but I will never subscribe to that advise, especially when it is impossible.

GoldenJAT:
You have said it all. I see so many people commenting and leaving the main issue out of their write up.
That guy is playing a game,and the girl in question is so naive.

Palema007:
Tiredagain please leave your unstable boyfriend alone, a person that ghost you at will is very unstable and unreliable. He knows you love him so much and he is acting on it. What would become of you if you lose your friendship only for him to go for months without communication. Please I don't know why you still stick in that 'situationship' because what you are into isn't a relationship. Let him go and find a better person you both can connect.

However, when you are in a new relationship with a reliable guy then accord him his respect by reducing your closeness with your bestie. I wish you luck and peace.

pretydiva:


That's my advice. You can give your advice/solution to her

gwininfo:
there are questions you must ask yourself
1. where is this relationship going to with such attitude of his
2. Are you being blinded by love
3.If there was a situation that arose who can I call and rely on between my boyfriend and best friend

NOW MY OPINION
It is quite obvious that your boyfriend doesn't respect you and he is taking advantage of your too much love for him, whether you guys are even married he should respect your privacy the same way you respect his.
leave that obsessed and entitled boyfriend of yours (it would be hard but you would triumph eventually) and focus on your best friend because the best kind of relationship is the one you have with your best friend
How would someone yiu are dating and claims to love you be ghosting yiu like that.... Add some value to yourself and walk out of that relationship because he is clearly using and taking advantage of you
I once took advantage of someone like that, and right now I am happy she left and she is with someone who loves and adore her than I would ever do. Give yourself an opportunity to experience true love.

Tiredagain:





All the the fights we have had over the course of the relationship was nothing serious about... He can just wake up and decide to ignore me for like weeks or months and all those times, I will be the one begging for the attention.. I decided to stop those nonsenses this year and then he started stalking me, when we made up over the phone, he agreed on catching up only for him to come up with this too..

I relayed to my best friend, he said that I should sort things out with him even if it will cost our friendship because he knows I loved the dude genuinely..

My problem now is whether to make the 1st move

Tiredagain:
I am active member here, reason for the pseudo account.

Long post alert :

I was/have been in a relationship with him for years, initially it was all rosy till he began to switch on/off at intervals.We hardly request for anything from each other because we both work and contented with the little we earn. Each time I sense that he wants to be left alone, I quietly give him his space. I have tried times without number to make him open up to me but it will all seem like a waste which makes me to retreat all the time. Mind you, he knows that i love him and practically can do anything or forgive him anytime he messes up.

Our last fight before this was that he called me during working hours and wanted to know if I was chanced to meet him then i asked him if all was well with him, he became angry and dropped the call. I tried reaching out to him for months but he intentionally avoided me, after 3 to 4 months of my efforts, I decided to let him be to concentrate on myself and others, he started stalking me on all online platforms. We later settled though.

To the main issue for this post, I have a colleague at work, we discuss practically everything and anything. My other colleagues knows that we are both best friends and nothing else, we also make fun of ourselves on 'stories'. But the issue is that my boyfriend thinks something is beyond that our friendship and that i have things i am hiding from him. To be honest, my best friend has confided a lot to me that i promised him that it would stay between us. Mind you, we have never sex chatted nor call ourselves romantic names of any sorts.

So recently, after making up with my fiance, he wanted to meet up with me after so many months, I obliged, only for him to request for my phone, I gave him voluntarily, as he was going through it, he wanted to open the chat I had with my best friend but I forcefully collected the phone from him. I tried talking him out that there's nothing going on between me and my colleague but he assumed and concluded that something is going on between us . He said that my attitude shows that I value my best friend more than him but i tried proving him wrong because some many times, I needed his attention he wasn't there and my best friend is the only one who knows everything and vice versa.. He told me right through my eyes that it is over.

Besides, he had once forcefully collected his phone from me sometimes last year when i was updating his WhatsApp for him and I mistakenly stumbled upon a chat of him with a lady.. I never made a case about it with him

Honest Truth : I have never involved myself in any sexual act with my best friend or any man apart from my fiance.. I value both my friendship and relationship but my fiance is making me to choose

Please i need your genuine opinion
Help a sister

Was i wrong
What advice would you give to me


Please i don't wish for it to make Frontpage because either of them would see and know who's behind the post because they are both members but not active�


Modified : the content of the chat I had with my colleague was about my fiance and there were so many provoking words in it, reason i did what i did because I never intended hurting him

LabuleofNigeria:
My dear sister, please read my words carefully.

1. Be very carefull with the advices you get on Social media/NL, in here, there are lots of wayward beings
2. I understand exactly how you feel and i feel your pain
3. Accept that you are WRONG truly because you are WRONG
4. You are wrong because. It is WRONG for a woman in a very serious/commited relationship
or a married woman or in an (an about-to-wed) status to keep a MALE best-friend.
5. Take it or leave it, If you continues same way in 100 serious relationships or marriages, it will all crash/ end in tears
regardless of your faithfullness or not
6. Once relationships gets to a Clear Green status, its best to switch your male best friends to female or limit d closeness
7. Accept your Mistakes, beg him, do-away with male BEST friend and enjoy your fiance.
8. Its either you choose your fiance or your Male Bestie.
9. His switching to a long-mute angered mood/status is his personal attribute, learn to manage that. We all have our weaknesses as human.
(You have your own weaknesses too if we ask him).
10. God bless you as you haken

Tiredagain:




Advice noted.. I will curtail the friendship aspect with my colleague too

Thanks

divineuk:
The problem is you ladies make issues complicated for yourselves, what are you doing with a male bestie why can’t you make your boyfriend your bestie how would you feel if he was the one doing that to you.

Tiredagain:




Believe me, if he had lived up to the expectation I needed in the relationship, I won't be in the mess of the bestie/friendship brouhaha.. He knows that i am introvert and hardly mingle with people and that been said, I have told him times without number that i wish that he knows so much a lot about me and what i am capable of doing if something rises up about me..