I Need Help Pls - Family - Nairaland
Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / I Need Help Pls (992 Views)
No Period After 8 Months Of Giving Birth. Is It Normal, Help Pls. / My 3 Years Old Son Cant Read Nor Write, Help Pls / Before My Father Kills My Mother. Help Pls!!! (2) (3) (4)
| I Need Help Pls by Nobody: 6:22pm On May 09, 2020 |
Pls I need advice on what to do I have daughter who is 14months old, though I'm not legally married but I and my daughter's dad live in together, and yesterday will be the third time he is physically abusing me that I almost passed out, I choked me and hit my out daughter feeding flask on my head and beat me. Now when I called his mom to reported what happened,she asked me to pack my things back inside, that she knows of a woman that her husband beat regularly And still she's still with her husband,that next time he want to beat me I should run outside,and if I decides to leave ,I should leave and if I take my daughter along she will fight me,that if I don't want her anger I shouldn't take my daughter.... Now my problem now is I can't leave my child for them,as I'm typing I'm weak and tired from all the beating, I'm 26years,I can't continue this way,cos I don't know how long this will continue 1 Like |
| Re: I Need Help Pls by gaby(m): 6:23pm On May 09, 2020 |
Huh? You no get papa and mama, no family members at all? Why e be say na him mama you go call when you know say fly must always support person wey get better rotten injury. You for tell him mama to come stay with am so that anytime e wan beat her she go run outside. I'd advise you to pick whatever lil stuffs you can lay your hands on and run back to wherever he found and impregnated you from for your sanity and life. You mean you are going through all this and hellbent on losing your life over a man who hasn't deemed it fit to wife you proper? Wonders dey learn work for your hand. Na the lil baby I pity for pass. 2 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: I Need Help Pls by Nobody: 6:31pm On May 09, 2020 |
Chidebless111:Your baby daddy's mom giving you such advice, shows how stupid she is. What did you do before he started beating you? A man cannot just start beating his wife to be for no reason. You should call your own mom/dad. Or are you not in good terms with them? |
| Re: I Need Help Pls by SweetCunt97(f): 6:40pm On May 09, 2020 |
Quite d touching story. Tell ur family, I'm sure you have one. |
| Re: I Need Help Pls by sisisioge: 6:41pm On May 09, 2020 |
Honey, you don't sound tired of the beating at all...cos if you are, you would pick your daughter and leave! Surely, your mother in-law wouldn't give the advice she gave you to her own daughter. Hmmm, women who sell themselves cheap by simply moving in with a guy without proper marriage in our part of the world get disrespected all the time. Go back home biko...stop being a nylon bag wife. Whew! Sorry...just had to tell you. 1 Like |
| Re: I Need Help Pls by Nobody: 6:57pm On May 09, 2020 |
iyke926:I called my mom already and she asked me to stay for now since the lockdown is still on. This is what happened,our daughter was sleeping in the sitting room where she normally sleep in the afternoon,so,he asked me to carry her inside,then he went outside,so I went to meet him outside to asked why he want me to take her inside since I'm still in the sitting room that she can't be inside alone, he now started shouting that im I blind cant I see he will also be going inside too,that if I like I should gonand sit at the junction, so I took her inside I now told him that he would have explain why instead of him reacting ,then I started saying he will beat me and help me to reset that my stupid brain... He started insulting me saying so I replied next he slapped me and started beating me, and insulting my parent that they are "oloriburuku" |
| Re: I Need Help Pls by Nobody: 7:16pm On May 09, 2020 |
Chidebless111:This is difficult because of lockdown. Moving to your parents place with the baby would have been the best. You just need to make your husband happy. It seems the lockdown is affecting him stupidly...No offence. Kneel and beg him... promise him that you will be submissive and that the beatings actually did reset your brain and you have serious headache. Just manage him till the lockdown is over. If beating continues after lockdown, abeg find your way. 1 Like |
| Re: I Need Help Pls by Nephilim: 7:24pm On May 09, 2020 |
Eeyah Pele dear ar.. Next time don't talk back to your husby o, some men don't appreciate it, and since they know they are stronger na beating you dey go resort to.. Anyway I wish you all the best, na una know wer una meet una sef. |
| Re: I Need Help Pls by Acme45: 7:45pm On May 09, 2020 |
Chidebless111:He have not even paid your bride price, yet He wants to kill you. you better park your load and leave that house before you will be carried out dead. l wedded my wife 6yrs ago, no issues yet i did not raise my hands to hit her. Listen to his mother at your own peril. I ve a female friend that ran for her life, so that her obituary will not be pasted" Gone Too soon".As a man it's never wise to beat your wife even if she's very wrong, you don't have to prove that you are the man of the house by beating.instead send her back to her family before you will kill someone's daughter. 1 Like |
| Re: I Need Help Pls by Mindlog: 7:51pm On May 09, 2020 |
First and foremost, you are living with the toxicity within yourself and you have to confront it first before you can nurture the esteem to deal with your present predicament. You are not his wife neither is he your husband, you just share a child and you give off the vibe you are comfortable with the co-habitation likewise your mum, if not your family in extension. You both should come up with an arrangement for co-parenting. Your baby daddy's mother have no right when it comes to the custody of your daughter, so let your family make arrangements to get somewhere you will stay before you can re-unite with your mum. The alternative you have is to continue with the co-habitation, he either kills you or you kill him, one of you in the grave while the other behind bars while both families fight over your daughter. |
| Re: I Need Help Pls by Donald3d(m): 7:54pm On May 09, 2020 |
Chidebless111: We need to understand something very clearly with relationships of any kind. NEVER TOLERATE OR ENDURE A TOXIC PERSON I want you to do something for yourself, close your eyes, picture yourself going through this same maltreatment everyday for the rest of your life. How does the picture look ? Picture this again, some years from now , he flings an object at you, but this time around it doesn't land on you, it hits your daughter in the eye leading to permanent blindness. Would you forgive yourself ? I could go on and on I am not trying to wish you bad, but these are possible scenarios that can occur with a toxic person. There are so many other terrible possibilities. Things most likely won't end well. Not only does he not care about you, his mother doesn't value you either. You are sleeping in a den filled with lions and poisonous snakes. I understand your thinking "he is the father of my child". No sis, he is just a sperm donor. You need to rewire your mentality and constantly remind yourself that you should never do anything or stay in a place where the disadvantages and risks outweigh the current or potential advantages or benefits. Life, marriage or any relationship of any kind, should not be endured, it should be enjoyed. Even if it needs to be endured, there should be love mixed with endurance. Love is obviously non-existent where you are. You are surrounded by hatred . I am worried about your mental health I am worried about the child. He is committing a crime, he should be punished for it. You deserve to be treated right, remember that. If you are in Lagos, the lock down isn't strict anymore, move to your mom's house . His mother can do nothing to you, involve not just your mom, but other respectable male figures in your family. 6 Likes |
| Re: I Need Help Pls by Nobody: 8:23pm On May 09, 2020 |
Donald3d:Thank you |
| Re: I Need Help Pls by Donald3d(m): 8:26pm On May 09, 2020 |
Chidebless111:You're welcome I just don't want you to read advises here and still fail to act. Please for the sake of your daughter and for yourself. Please leave, and be very smart and discreet about it, so he or no one else would know. Please ACT 2 Likes |
| Re: I Need Help Pls by MuttleyLaff: 6:45pm On Jun 27, 2020 |
Chidebless111: Nephilim:That is no man. That is a brute, I am sorry using blunt and frank words describing OP's not a better half. Does the brute beat himself huh? Of course he doesn't, so if he loves himself that much not beat himself up, why then is the mofo beating up, not an ordinary female, but his supposedly partner he loves  Here's the help you asked for. I don't give a rat's arse for that submissive malarkey advice someone earlier gave. Submissiveness is a two way street. When in a relationship, you are asked to submit yourselves to one another. It isn't a one sided expectation. Now here's my advice. You will from now on try as much as possible not to irk your partner. Then asap, find a right moment to get him down for a sit talk, where you would tell him that let the beating incident be the last time he ever raises his hand to hit or beat you. Of course, set the tone right for this occasion, tidy up and have the whole home cleaned up, cooking a scrumptious dinner with a set up a romantic feel in the air. Before the dinner, you would have had a good perfumed bath, look seductively attractive, that after the dinner, it's going to be to the other room for business. Give him the best time of his life between the sheet, once he come back to earth from cloud seven, this is when you'll bold face lay down the new rules, that no more physical assault and that if it should repeat itself, you're out of the door with your child, and he'll be granted visiting rights. Now before all those, you of course, you'll have to go find out where the nearest battered wives/domestic violence refuge centre in your locality is. Have their contacts with you, should in case, this brute decides to, in the future relapse into beating you again. Another thing is using foul and contemptible words like "oloriburuku" which loosely translated means, "a good for nothing someone". No, no, no, this is totally out of order, for him to disrespect your parents, his potentially future parent-in-laws like that. You're 26 years old, but we don't know your status. Don't know yours and this brute's academic qualifications, your and his employment conditions et cetera. It seems there is real and genuine love lacking on the side of this brute. He also feels it is right to lift up his hand against a fellow human being, especially if its a live in female partner I cant emphasise this loud enough, you have to let the brute know that, if he should ever lay his finger on you again, it is the end of the relationship. Period. If you want to discuss this further and in private. Contact me offline. |
| Re: I Need Help Pls by thorpido(m): 11:00pm On Jun 27, 2020 |
Chidebless111:I think you should listen to your partner's mother.There are many ladies in such abusive relationships and they are enduring.You too should endure. |
| Re: I Need Help Pls by Nobody: 11:01pm On Jun 27, 2020 |
Y'all should kindly ignore the deluded being comment above me. I'm really sorry for the emotional trauma you v been subjected to. It's quite obvious you are in an unhealthy or abusive relationship which won't stop anytime soon being the third time. Three times of physical assault isn't a mistake anymore. In summary that's what his brain revolves around. Violence !! I understand you bringing your issue here is a cycle of trying to figure out the next step you should take in reference to the advices you will apply here when you have feelings for this person and have developed a history with them. However, it’s the future, not the past, that you should consider. This would definitely get worse 26 years isn't a young age when debated in factual context but in this abusive relationship context. It is to me. Reason being that you r too young to be subjected to violence when you aren't even married to him. What will become of you when you both settle down finally ? I really don't know why women tends to hold back their mental health and peace in abusive relationship. Like it cost you no dime from ending this shit. Fact that you both aren't even married is just a step ahead of divorce processes that could v been a burden. The ratio of women who always stick to an abusive partners are ones that have little or less financial backings and live with the constant fear of where will I start from. No debate can justify your partner loving you and still beating you up. It just doesn't make sense. When a man beat his wife once, twice nd then thrice. He is never going to change. I really don't know if you r doing this for the sake of your child but your safety comes first. Why breed your child up in sadness and pain ? End that shitty relationship with that panel beater. If you are so insecured ND scared of him. Move out quietly to an unknown location of your relatives or siblings. You deserve better woman. Find peace and watch your beauty gleaming again to attract sensible men who will love you for who you are. Love always 1 Like |
| Re: I Need Help Pls by thorpido(m): 8:41am On Jun 28, 2020 |
WeedSeller:You're slow and can't see sarcasm even if it hit you in the face. |
| Re: I Need Help Pls by Nobody: 8:51am On Jun 28, 2020 |
Which lockdown abi you don't have transport money?. Interstate still dey waka Monday Wednesday and Friday... If you cry enter motorpark say na emergency...hold better money, them do move you! I hope they don't waybill your deadbody to your parents.. Mtcheewwwwwwwww..... You're still enjoying free shelter, free food, knacks and the beating na why you still dey there!.. I hope you know that you're wasting your time with that boy.. He no go marry you and he go allow better man see you to marry you. He go use beating spoil your finegirl. People still dey manage abuse in 2020  ..taaaaaaa!!!!!..... Even your own mama say make you stay! She doesn't want more responsibilities! At 26, you should be able to stand up for yourself. You no be small pikin abeg.. nairaland no go fit help you o |
| Re: I Need Help Pls by Xchangemadeeasy: 9:11am On Jun 28, 2020 |
I have just one question for you Do you like your life? If yes, then survival should be your primary motivation. Not happiness, not respect, not even lockdown. That guy would either kill you or made you handicapped then move on with his life. You even still have a mother which means you have somewhere to go to. My dear, if you know what is better for you, that is the only thing you should be thinking of now. But if your answer to my question is No, then you can continue staying there maybe when he gets to the 10th time, you will figure it out. |
| Re: I Need Help Pls by Nobody: 10:33am On Jun 28, 2020 |
| Re: I Need Help Pls by thorpido(m): 10:57am On Jun 28, 2020 |
WeedSeller:ssssslloooooooow! |
| Re: I Need Help Pls by stacyadams: 10:59am On Jun 28, 2020 |
Chidebless111: You are not legally married and ur chopping this kain beating  |
| Re: I Need Help Pls by Nobody: 12:09pm On Jun 28, 2020 |
thorpido: |
(1) (Reply)
My Cousin Makes Weird Sound While Asleep / Have You Ever Been A Victim Of False Prophets?share Your Experience Here. / Nanny/domestic Assistant Urgently Needed
(Go Up)
| Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 102 |