Stats: 3,190,319 members, 7,940,272 topics. Date: Wednesday, 04 September 2024 at 09:12 PM |
Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / .. (3166 Views)
My Fiancée Has Stopped Picking My Calls, Please Advise Me On What To Do / Our Marriage Maybe Seriously Falling Apart: Please Advise Me! / How Can I Advise A Serial Cheat And Failure Of A Father? (2) (3) (4)
Re: .. by HomerTimpson: 11:35pm On Jul 03, 2020 |
CsRockefeller:thought you were talking abt whitney houston- I LOOK TO YOU? |
Re: .. by frozen70(f): 11:36pm On Jul 03, 2020 |
varmint: She is still claiming a learner after all the suffering, well her body get follow come shock absorber |
Re: .. by CsRockefeller(m): 11:39pm On Jul 03, 2020 |
HomerTimpson: Yes I was. After everything, from the start to d end of her career she didn't find d fulfillment she sought especially in marriage hence the song. Same thing I'm telling the OP, if her marriage doesn't work out then she has the heavens to look up to. 1 Like |
Re: .. by frozen70(f): 11:39pm On Jul 03, 2020 |
Keep on submitting to him until you submit your atm card and pin number Okakwa gi mma ka uche gi zuo oke 1 Like |
Re: .. by Nobody: 11:41pm On Jul 03, 2020 |
Oh dear me ![]() ![]() Woman, u don't like yourself at all. Seems you are the type they drummed into them to love and honour their husbands no matter the situation. Mbok ![]() On a serious note, any man that don't help or encourage his wife to grow don't love that woman. She is just a means to an end. So also women that folds hand and always demand from their husbands. I won't tell you what to do. U are an adult, act that. Good luck to you. U need it. 1 Like |
Re: .. by frozen70(f): 11:43pm On Jul 03, 2020 |
sassysure: Don't mind her, she will teach herself what to do |
Re: .. by frozen70(f): 11:44pm On Jul 03, 2020 |
I don't like women that can't take a decision and stand to defend it, be it good or bad decision Push over things 1 Like |
Re: .. by HomerTimpson: 12:01am On Jul 04, 2020 |
CsRockefeller:unfortunately for women,don't be surprised she knew what to do before coming here for advice (but i think she need take chill pills in over dose and make up her mind on whether she wants to cont. to please GOD in her marriage thou difficult right now or suit her self)since she mentioned abt GOD but,in my opinion she can always make another money,what i think she needs is support him once more and sit him down and do some serious talk with her husband abt how she really feels before handing over the money...this way she won't feel guilty of disobeying GOD,i mean why scared of another humble beginning when it has not even come and trust me her said husband had already signup for KARMAtherapy |
Re: .. by andyanders: 2:02am On Jul 04, 2020 |
notoracism: Madam, you need to re-set your brain. With his actions, you think you can impress him by giving him all you got in order to keep your marriage? Damn the sheat and get the property with your full name. 1 Like |
Re: .. by andyanders: 2:11am On Jul 04, 2020 |
Mstick: Another good advise. Since he sees his wife as nobody, she should start saving for the rainy days ahead 'cus same man will show her pepper in future. |
Re: .. by ceeceeuwa: 3:11am On Jul 04, 2020 |
You can buy the property in your child's name, but ensure you have all the legal documents of the property handed to you. If you are a novice in that regard, just involve a professional in that field. |
Re: .. by LordKO(m): 3:52am On Jul 04, 2020 |
Unfortunately, your husband is a crass and expedient man - crass and expedient people and subjugation are inseparable because nothing else gives them joy more than when they subjugate anyone close to them or anyone they can, all because of their low self-esteem/delusions of persecution and egoism/self-absorption. As a fair-minded woman, citing your submission here, you shouldn't have married him in the first place because two of you aren't of the same ethical leanings. Anyway, one of the most effective ways to put him where he belongs, if you don't want to remain perpetually subjugable to him, is to give him a dose of his own toxic. Of course, that will result to mutual open enmity between two of you, so it entails that you do some formal and legal arrangements to restrain him from meting out any heinous act against you before embarking on your action, else he'll snuff your life through physical combat and otherwise. Alternatively, consider to drop the idea of buying the said property from your friend, regardless of how enticing the offer may be and also keep your savings away from your husband and demand fairness from him, henceforth, if he wants peace to reign in the union; to show his readiness for mutual fairness, he has to start by reverting the previous grievous but amendable mistakes he had already made, like putting your name in any of the previous properties he acquired without your name. If he'll be ready to embrace fairness, in both words and actions, give him your best in everything always, because fair enabled peace is priceless. Bitter truth, he'll not change for good, instead, he may change from an open enemy - crass and expedient person - to a frenemy - hypocritical disingenuous person. Attribute can't be changed, only attitude can be changed - he's exhibiting his attribute not an attitude. Personally, I'd say either give him a dose of his own medicine the way you may deem fit or resign your fate and take to perpetual servitude, after all, some people do derive pleasure from being subjugable. 7 Likes |
Re: .. by baby124: 4:07am On Jul 04, 2020 |
If your money is involved, you must have a stake. Your name must be written boldly on all documents from receipts to C of O |
Re: .. by cococandy(f): 4:12am On Jul 04, 2020 |
You have been well advised at OP |
Re: .. by cnonyechi(f): 4:23am On Jul 04, 2020 |
notoracism: You have given him enough its time to stop, let him figure out how to complete the building. As for the property you want to buy, if you are not sure it's genuine don't buy. Keep your money for now, but don't give it anymore to your husband. Don't you have family? Parents, brothers, sisters, it's time to start investing on them cos if ever push comes to shove, they will be the only ones to stand by and with you. 1 Like |
Re: .. by NoToPile: 6:16am On Jul 04, 2020 |
Loool the OPs last statement sha ![]() ![]() 1 Like |
Re: .. by Foodqueen(f): 6:41am On Jul 04, 2020 |
Na mumu u be. Watch him throw u out very soon. Ruth- Abokoku. |
Re: .. by faithfull18(f): 7:30am On Jul 04, 2020 |
Insist on having your name boldly written on the documents of the two properties, if he doesn't agree, keep your money. Who are you going to tell that your money was part of the building if things goes awry ![]() 2 Likes |
Re: .. by linnyx: 8:36am On Jul 04, 2020 |
There are three things you need right now in your life: 1. A sound financial investor who will show you where to invest your money 2. A very good lawyer who will help you investigate properties that's been brought to you attention 3. The Holy Spirit to give you and the two mentioned above wisdom to carry out their duties without regrets. You especially need wisdom to handle your husband and family. You cannot give him all your savings as that will be stupid. Talk to a financial investor and see what sound investment advice you can get. Use majority (as much as 60%) of your savings to invest in. Give him 30% and keep 10% for yourself. This is a win-win If you have kids, get an investment portfolio in their name controlled solely by you or open a trust for them. Going forward, distribute your pay such that a bigger chunk goes for investment while you try to support the home. When you are ready for a property go ahead and buy it liquidating part of your investment without his knowledge and when you are done let him know and give him small money to cool his temper. I wish I could advice you some more |
Re: .. by PrimadonnaO(f): 6:41pm On Jul 04, 2020 |
The things people condone... Seems so unreal |
Re: .. by Pearl543(f): 7:19pm On Jul 04, 2020 |
Hmmmm na wa ooo. That's why, when men talk about how impressed they are whenever they meet a lady who doesn't ask a dime from them. I look at them suspiciously... it's indirectly giving a hand to lots of irresponsible men. |
Re: .. by egbaguy2: 7:31pm On Jul 04, 2020 |
Dunno why some men are this toxic.....you must have seen these signs while dating. Dear ladies.....don't get married to a man with bad character hoping he would change when u two marry each other. My advice is for u to have personal investment. Sorry.....don't u av parents or siblings? |
Re: .. by Alexaonfleek: 8:09pm On Jul 04, 2020 |
Nawa ooo. I honestly don't blame this moniker y.baby that preaches that women should pay little or no bills at home. 1 Like |
Re: .. by bukatyne(f): 8:55pm On Jul 04, 2020 |
notoracism: If your husband has always been like this? What is the trigger for change? You now earn more than him? Talk to your bank reps to help you invest major part of your salary. My people say 'what you won't take as a rich man, you reject while you are still poor.' If you felt offended by your husband not adding you to the previous building projects, you should have voiced out. Since you didn't, you signaled you are fine with 'contributing' to a project that doesn't have your name on it. He is building another one and expecting you to perform as usual. If you have enough to spare, you can send him something really small and invest the rest (it is called 'gba je n simi') . Talk to seasoned financial advisers: you don't want to lose your money wi trying to secure it. Like others have said, do not buy the house he knows about else you will open part 2: 'My husband wants me to add his name to my house while he has several in his name.' I 'suspect' this thread anyways. 1 Like |
Re: .. by jasent(m): 9:52pm On Jul 04, 2020 |
notoracism:I am a male,I probably should not advice you the way I am about to..But even though I am still young and single, experience have taught my a lot of lesson.. See an,if you give that money to your husband and he finish the building without your name enh,be ready to be slave to him forever.Have you ever ask yourself why he didn't add your name?He is your husband fine,but he has some secret motives, believe it or not,that's the truth.. Don't let love blind you,if he loves and cheris you the way i believe you love him,he will carry you along in his financial dealings. Madam go build your own house..A word is enough for the wise |
Re: .. by Femsyn(m): 10:36pm On Jul 04, 2020 |
I'm not going to advise you, cos your post suggests you dont need one, but I will tell you "why" your husband behaves the way he does. Hopefully, from the "whys", you will be able to advise yourself. 1. He has a very big ego, and wants to be the full owner of his house (note, not "our" house). He will control the totality of your existence. God forbid, he dies, you are likely to have issues, especially from troublesome inlaws. 2. Making you spend your money on intangibles is strategic, especially since your name is not on any of the tangibles. No one will believe you bought them anyway, afterall, they're in his house. 3. I'm particularly glad you earn an income. That's an edge. A very good one at that. He would want to leverage on it, and own it like his. No one would believe you contributed to the tangibles. It's your world against his. 4. He didn't just turn out this way, because, in your words, " you thought he would change". You indulged him for too long, so trying or forcing him to change will be rollercoaster ride, as he will refuse, and play the victim at the end. Absorb the above carefully, and advise yourself. |
Re: .. by Bignuell(m): 11:03pm On Jul 04, 2020 |
At OP first off, any reasonable man would kill to have you as a partner not because you're a slave or drunk on love as some people will perceive you to be. But i believe you're the kind of person who wants peace to reign, better to hurt in silence than create havoc. A kind of woman who furnish a man's life and not a "thank you" would be received. Now, you didn't mention his family which simply means they'll support their son's decision (i would have told you to talk to his brother, sister or his mom but they'll probably say "he's your husband, he means well, support him"). Now to your husband, i believe he's a control freak. He might not leave you in the long run but i bet you're going to ass lick his every decision till death do both of you part. This is very bad cause he can't always be right. You see, marriage is about working as a team, finishing the race the same time, lifting the trophy the same time. But sadly, this is not so with your marriage and as it stands na only God fit change your husband. Just know that with him your chance of being independent is slim. If you play card very well, your game card is always kept hidden. You make your opponent guess wrongly. Like you said, we shouldn't advice you to buy your own. Well for me, i'd advice you not too and not even for your children. Here something, independent women are smart women. You gotta be smart here. My advice for you is not to give him the money. No, don't. 4M is like $10k. Invest your money on fix deposit or buy stock with it. That's my 2cent though. Have a wonderful Night. |
Re: .. by SweetCunt97(f): 11:07pm On Jul 04, 2020 |
timseye:Why envy him? The selfish man is bringing only his dick to the table. Very self centered fellow. |
Re: .. by Jotrade: 3:03am On Jul 05, 2020 |
You no get husband, na sex machine and baby daddy you get. You better start investing in yourself and your kids. |
Re: .. by jmaxjohn(m): 6:40am On Jul 05, 2020 |
frozen70: Pls don't heed this woman's tone of words. You will cause more harm in your marriage. You have been giving too much in your marriage, emotionally n otherwise. You need to start putting limits to what you can give. I mean have a conversation with your husband that you feel he doesn't love you enough to treat you better; that there are things he'd say or do and you'd either walk to some other part of the house than listen to the way he hurts you. My point is your marriage is heading for a cliff, and if not turned around you may begin to resent your husband in some years to come. Marriage is beautiful if BOTH PARTIES ARE UNSELFISH ENOUGH TO OUTDO THE GOOD OF EACH OTHER. |
Re: .. by frozen70(f): 6:54am On Jul 05, 2020 |
jmaxjohn: A man that his wife pays school fees, house rent, feeding and he does nothing but to dish order and control her. What do you call such a man ? This your advice would have worked better if its your biological sister that is the one involved So that she will continue to labour and her husband will continue to control her resources without regards You know we have marriage house help, just the way we have domestic house help Nonsense, which woman is ready to suffer and not be appreciated, no way |
Re: .. by jmaxjohn(m): 7:11am On Jul 05, 2020 |
frozen70: Are you through? |
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