CanadaOrBust:


Au contraire, there is always need for that. That’s one thing many girls don’t realise, the biggest fear many men have about marriage is losing their freedom. A smart girl will assuage that fear by telling them they can still have that, then after marriage gradually teach him the truth - that all he really needs is u and the kids

CanadaOrBust:


Au contraire, there is always need for that. That’s one thing many girls don’t realise, the biggest fear many men have about marriage is losing their freedom. A smart girl will assuage that fear by telling them they can still have that, then after marriage gradually teach him the truth - that all he really needs is u and the kids

ImaIma1:


Wickedness is not peculiar to men. It is easy for one sex to see the other sex as the demon while playing done their own demons. For instance, all these cheating we hear and see ladies, married women do, for men it has become a norm. So they don't even count it as anything again.

So when you say women are more wicked, it is a fallacy. Women are only more expressive than men.

Hathor5:


Ok, swallow the red pill and leave women alone in this case. Also be aware of the women in your family. GENERALLY they could be wicked too.

Hathor5:


No, it doesn't. All you hear is the BIG stories of the 1% of rich men who relative to their wealth pay peanuts. MAJORITY of men can't afford a house without a second income. Welcome to reality.

Hathor5:


No, it doesn't. All you hear is the BIG stories of the 1% of rich men who relative to their wealth pay peanuts. MAJORITY of men can't afford a house without a second income. Welcome to reality.

backbone503:


If I'm totally wrong, then you're totally right. Issokay like dat. You can go now. Your body go tell you!

ImaIma1:


I don't think a man has to lose his freedom. He just has to have a sense of responsibility towards his family but can still create a balance. I have experienced it happening. As long as there is trust, it can work.

bukatyne:


Please define this 'freedom'?

CanadaOrBust:


Your post sounds very logical and reasonably until we start looking at real life - Women just generally seem more callous than men. Consider, who is usually more “wicked” - step mum vs. step dad, mother in-law vs f.., madam vs. Oga.
How many times have we read of women almost killing house helps; women callously stealing other women’s babies or killing pregnant women to take the child.
Even the cheating u mentioned, a man will be doing it
and still maintain his home. Let a woman do it once, next thing you’ll hear is she was arrested for attempting to get rid the husband. Here’s another: men get turned down and even ridiculed all the time, but “hell hath no fury like a woman turned down even once”. A woman will tell a lovelorn pleading man, “Look, I don’t want u, get out of my face b4 I slap u”...

ImaIma1:


Are you kidding me? The wickedness of a stepdad sleeping with his stepdaughter, sometimes underage, is greater than the wickedness of the stepmom beating her.

We also have to forget all this blog stories and news we hear of step dads and step mums. A lot are nice and accommodating. Not all step mothers maltreat and not all step dads molest.

A woman's cheating is magnified most times because of the man's ego and perceived betrayal. So it's usually blown out of proportion more than if it were the man cheating.

All this wicked kidnappers, armed robbers, fraudsters, ritualistic, etc. What percentage are women? Yet you say women are more wicked than men.

Let's be objective and not try to turn everything into gender wars...war of the sexes. There's no victor in these kind of wars.

ImaIma1:


Are you kidding me? The wickedness of a stepdad Pi

CanadaOrBust:


Peanuts eh. Jeff Bezos wife who has earned practically nothing in her life is the world’s 12th richest person after divorcing him!

CanadaOrBust:


You obviously don’t know what u r talking about. See below

Hathor5:


How does it refute my point that women are the co-owners of the houses they live in in America because they contribute with their income?

Do me a favor please. Use your brain to think before you hasten to reply without sense.

Hathor5:


Jeff Bezos wife helped build Amazon. In a state where assets are shared 50/50 after divorce is finalized he got away with 25%. He is still one of the richest men in the world and like I said you choose to bring exceptional examples. The average man can't even afford a house without his wife's contribution. All men can choose to sign a prenup.

Hathor5:
.

Hathor5:
.

CanadaOrBust:


I don’t understand why u r arguing something that everyone KNOWS favours the wife. Even foreigners know it. Nigerians in Nigeria know it. It is part of popular culture (see below). U r the only one arguing it!

Unnerve:
Lol @ Hathor5

Homes almost always remain with the woman as long as she has custody of the kids after a divorce.
What exactly are your links trying to refute?

When the spouses have minor children in common, the court may make an order that temporarily delays sale of the home. This is called a “deferred sale of home” order. Under this scenario, both spouses continue to own the home jointly for a set period, giving the custodial parent exclusive use and possession of the home during this time. The purpose of a deferred sale order is to minimize the impact of the divorce on the children.

In considering a deferred sale order, the court first must determine whether the spouses will be able to afford the payments on the house after the divorce. The court will look at the spouses’ incomes, the availability of support, and other funds available to make payments.

If the court finds that a deferred sale is financially feasible, the court must then decide whether a deferred sale is necessary to minimize the impact of the divorce on the children. The court will consider all of the following factors:

CanadaOrBust:


Right on cue, this just hit front page:
Woman Uses Hot Iron On 10-Year-Old Maid, Drills Nails On Her Head (Disturbing pics)

https://www.nairaland.com/5967404/woman-uses-hot-iron-10-year-old

CanadaOrBust:


I’m not doing gender wars at all. I’m honestly saying what I perceive. I say “wicked” in quotes, u can actually say “stronger” instead. I have so many instances where a man married a lady and they both have children. ALWAYS, the lady’s children are favored to the extent of sometimes the man’s children are totally ostracized. Even in the Bible, Sarah had Haggai thrown out with her baby. As for armed robbery, kidnapping, etc, those are motivated by money or sex, not the gratuitous “wickedness” we are discussing here.
Let’s put it this way, part of the reason wives file much more divorces is because they are “stronger”

Hathor5:

No, not always. And if then it is for a limited period of time and it's for the children and not the wife.

Nothing stops a father to fight for the custody of his children. Usher did it and won. Welcome to reality 2.0.

Unnerve:

Wife and children get the home MOST of the time.
Whether it is for a limited period, which is not even the case, is not important. The finality is who gets the house, wife or husband?


Fathers do fight for custody and hardly ever get it, visiting rights at best.

For every Usher who won custody, there are at least 50 Mr. Hathors' who didn't. Now that's reality

Hathor5:


And we should believe it because you say so?
I have provided credible sources, what have you got? A few sensationalist headlines at best. Let us not forget the memes your friend tried to insult our intelligence with.

Unnerve:

You keep posting links and sources. If we start doing that, we won't leave here because I too can provide links and sources to counter yours. The internet is filled with enough to go round.

We talking real life American family law.

Between wives and husbands, who gets the house during a divorce most of the time?

Hathor5:


I am talking real American family law. The links I posted are from legal counseling firms.
It's you who is talking Nairaland American family law.

You want real American family law, read the following article. In case you are too lazy, read the bold.

Unnerve:

It's alright then, you're probably going to start insulting me if we go on.

From what I can conclude from your stance on the thread so far, you are of the opinion that American women do not benefit financially from divorces, it's men who do but for some reason, women are the ones filing for this same divorce the most.

I guess that says a lot about these women, and it's not a flattering.

Have a good one.

ImaIma1:


This is not always the case. What if I told you that I know cases where the man's children are even closer to the woman than her children are to her. Not everyone sees competition in everything.

That's why upbringing really matters. Children should be brought up in love and taught respect so that they show love to people around them.

ImaIma1:


You want me to pull out the countless threads of...man molest 5 years old...man sleeps with 12 year old...man rapes 5 year old to death.

As I said, it is pointless to start arguing about who is more wicked because it will be inconclusive.

See my uncle's wife for instance has a househelp and the help has her child living with them. When they moved from far south south to Lagos, she followed them and left her daughter behind with her aunt. The daughter was molested by a "wicked man". My uncle's wife told her to go bring the girl to live with them.

Other people I know have helps that have lived with then for years, schooling or learning a trade. One help I know even used to drive to go pick the kids from school.

The truth is...the news always shows the bad men and women. Bad news is more lucrative so it makes it seem like the bad is more than the good.

There are many loyal wives and husbands but we don't see that in the news often. Besides, believe hardly believe. This gender wars are useless.

Hathor5:


I am posting academic research and you are posting memes. Here is another credible source (and not some ridiculous memes):


Who Gets the House in the Divorce?

If the house is separate property, the owner-spouse will get the house. If the house is community property, there are several ways it can be divided, either by agreement or court order, in the divorce judgment.

Sell and Divide Profits

Spouses can agree to sell their home and split the profits from the sale. This is often the only feasible option when neither spouse is in a financial position to own the home alone.


Buy Out

Another option is for one spouse to take full ownership of the home and pay the other spouse his or her share. The buying spouse will need to refinance the home, so that the selling spouse is removed from the mortgage.

In determining whether the buying spouse can afford to take on full ownership of the home, many costs need to be considered, including:

monthly mortgage payments
insurance
utilities, repairs, maintenance, and
property taxes.
Tax implications are also an important part of the financial equation. You need to determine whether the buying spouse would be entitled to a mortgage interest tax deduction.

For more information regarding eligibility for a mortgage interest deduction, see IRS publication 936.

In addition, sometimes the court will order, or spouses’ will agree, to include a provision that the selling spouse pay the mortgage as a form of spousal support. If so, the spouse paying the mortgage can claim a tax deduction for spousal support payments. The spouse keeping the home would need to claim those payments as spousal support income, but still may be eligible to claim a mortgage interest tax deduction.

You should contact a tax consultant for more precise information on these tax issues.

(Find more information on Negotiating a House Buyout at Divorce).

Spouses Stay on Title/Deferred Sale

When the spouses have minor children in common, the court may make an order that temporarily delays sale of the home. This is called a “deferred sale of home” order. Under this scenario, both spouses continue to own the home jointly for a set period, giving the custodial parent exclusive use and possession of the home during this time. The purpose of a deferred sale order is to minimize the impact of the divorce on the children.

In considering a deferred sale order, the court first must determine whether the spouses will be able to afford the payments on the house after the divorce. The court will look at the spouses’ incomes, the availability of support, and other funds available to make payments.

If the court finds that a deferred sale is financially feasible, the court must then decide whether a deferred sale is necessary to minimize the impact of the divorce on the children. The court will consider all of the following factors:

the length of time the children have lived in the home
the children’s ages and grades in school
how close the home is to the children’s school, child care, and/or other services the children use
whether the home has been modified to accommodate a physical disability of a child or the custodial parent, such that moving homes would make it more difficult for the custodial parent to meet the children’s needs
the emotional impact moving homes would have on the children
the extent to which the location of the home allows the parent living there to maintain employment
the financial ability of each spouse to obtain suitable housing
the tax consequences a delayed sale would have on each party
the negative financial impact a delayed sale would have on the parent not living in the home, and
any other factors that the court finds are relevant and fair to consider.
An order for a deferred sale will specify how long the order is in place, after which time the spouses will sell the home.

https://www.divorcenet.com/resources/divorce/marital-property-division/who-gets-house-california-divorce.htm


You're welcome!