Here Is 1 Mistake That Can Destroy A Man’s Life - Romance (3) - Nairaland
Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / Here Is 1 Mistake That Can Destroy A Man’s Life (12343 Views)
A Woman Comes Into A Man's Life For One Of These 6 Reasons. / The #1 Mistake Laycon Did That Can Make Fine Girls Give You "Though Time". / The #1 Mistake Laycon Did That Makes Fine Girls Form "Hard-to-get". (2) (3) (4)
(1) (2) (3) (4) (Reply) (Go Down)
| Re: Here Is 1 Mistake That Can Destroy A Man’s Life by Nobody: 1:45pm On Jul 04, 2020 |
hunterezi:na this type of reasoning dey make person turn into a full time begger.wen u don start to dey get the children in ur early 20s and no job the man go turn to full begger.he will be begin start begging for 10k,15k to feed the children and wife and send them to school.the current dean as u said either he had rich parents or he was those priviledged who were graduates in the 60s and 70s and during that time things were very good in nigeria.say a 21 yr old boy come dey born pickin dis time and no job na who wan feed im children and im wife? excpt if he has wealthy parents though.i am saying thos cos these days some of ur guys wey don born pickin na so dem go dey disturb u for phone and facebook dey ask for money to feed their children.u go come start to dey wonder weda na u encourage them to go marry and born plenty children.if u never settle for life then settle well first b4 u de reason pickin and wife. 5 Likes |
| Re: Here Is 1 Mistake That Can Destroy A Man’s Life by seanwilliam(m): 2:31pm On Jul 04, 2020 |
lefulefu:the question is , why?? Why would a guy work his ass off to finance a lady lifestyle?? Why? |
| Re: Here Is 1 Mistake That Can Destroy A Man’s Life by Nobody: 2:34pm On Jul 04, 2020 |
seanwilliam:mugurity  or simpness as some guys call it 3 Likes |
| Re: Here Is 1 Mistake That Can Destroy A Man’s Life by seanwilliam(m): 2:39pm On Jul 04, 2020 |
lefulefu:brother, nigeria ladies are naturally lazy..only little percentage have the hustling spirit...and most with hustling spirit self dont engage in something productive.. they'll rather use what they have to get what they need.. Maybe na our culture make dem be like dat sha.... and faults self dey we guys hand sometimes.. we encourage them 2 Likes |
| Re: Here Is 1 Mistake That Can Destroy A Man’s Life by seanwilliam(m): 2:49pm On Jul 04, 2020 |
lefulefu:see ehn, live wey I dey live now bro... my priority is "myself" after that my family- mama and papa.. Funnily enough these hoes dont love guys that spend on them... na the one wey dey treat them with thrash dem dey like 2 Likes |
| Re: Here Is 1 Mistake That Can Destroy A Man’s Life by Olawale118(m): 3:32pm On Jul 04, 2020 |
seanwilliam:I know someone also whose life turned around for good after his girlfriend got pregnant. Someone that could hardly feed himself when the pregnancy happened fa... maybe there's something we are yet to understand about life 2 Likes |
| Re: Here Is 1 Mistake That Can Destroy A Man’s Life by Princerichi0(m): 3:55pm On Jul 04, 2020 |
Message to the ladies. Safe abortion is better than raising a child you can't cater for. You are saving the child from a world of suffering. Please consider welfare of the child. 2 Likes |
| Re: Here Is 1 Mistake That Can Destroy A Man’s Life by MrBrownJay1(m): 5:18pm On Jul 04, 2020 |
seanwilliam: you are in charge of your own destiny, dont act like a miserable puppet because of misplaced ego or other nonsense! Let's learn to face the reality... a man is the SOLE provider in the family .. who told you that? what law says that your wife shouldnt work and provide just as much for the family? you people are quick to claim that you are ONE in marriage but your misplaced ego makes you act like a scared baby. how hard is it to ask your wife to provide for the family too (instead of staying home watching telemundo all day)? how difficult will it be to make her understand that this is what "you" desire for your family? will you be arrested and thrown in jail because you ask such from your wife?! or is it just that your misplaced ego makes you act in such a poor immature low self esteem way?! your wife can only support to some extent... u cant be sharing Bill's equally in normal Africa marriage settings if you still wanna maintain your respect from your wife and family... men like you have been so brainwashed that you shouldnt even be called a MAN. i am ashamed of what you just wrote!!!!!! thats how they use religion to lower you to a sheep status while you should be a lion... keep acting like a damn sheep! there is nothing wrong with a wife paying bills, just like there is nothing wrong with that same wife taking decision for the family. the problem here is that low self esteem men like yourself want to pay everything so that you can be in charge and decide for the family, while expecting wifey to be silent. you wanna use that money to CONTROL THAT WOMAN, and rightfully so, these women use low self esteem men like you to their advantages. shameless individuals! you are killing yourself to pay the bills etc while wifey is using her own money to build herself mansions. does it even make sense to you?!?!? you are killing yourself to pay the bills etc while wifey is using her own money to buy shoes/Gucci bags and Brazilian wigs. does it even make sense to you?!?!? you are killing yourself to pay the bills etc while wifey is using her own money to better her own selfish self. does it even make sense to you?!?!? And mind you, western world train their women to be self reliance..Why do women get child support from the men in the western world self? Sheybi dem dey work to, why dem no fit dey raise the kids singlehandedly when they divorce.. that goes to show you that when it comes to FINANCE, there is no equality between the two genders atleast in this part of the world.. ARRANT NONSENSE!!!! let me educate you, since you seem to be clueless about child support in the west: when a couple divorce, 1st they will have to decide who will get child custody (this is the only time when the law is somehow unfair). so lets say mama gets custody and she pays a certain amount to take care of the kids (rent/food/clothing/ bills/school fees etc). so if the amount she pays is 5000 and she doesnt work, then husband has to pay the bill since they are his children too. if mum works and makes 5000 monthly, then dad only has to pay 2500 in child support. if mama earns 10000 and daddy earns 2000, then MAMA has to pay daddy child support. it all has to do with A) the lifestyle the family is accustomed to and B) if one parent make significantly less money than the other parent, to pay for the monthly children upkeep. also, you have to remember that, even if there are no kids, a spouse can say that he/she was accustomed to a certain lifestyle and therefore need spousal support (alimony) to continue living that lifestyle after divorce... and sadly, many women who were richer than their husband, have to pay their husband thousand of $$ monthly... go ask Halle Berry who pays $16K in child support monthly to her ex French husband; go ask Mary j Blige paying her ex husband $30K monthly; ask Madonna who had to pay up $70M to Guy Ritchie; ask J- lo who gave her ex $14m spousal settlement; ask Mel B who had to give her ex $8M spousal settlement; ask Britney Spears who pays her baby daddy $20K in child support, and the dude now wants more, lol! But feminism is what is going to ruin an average naija girls who believe they are equal with men in relationship..whereas they'll keep silence when it comes to equal financial contribution... now tell me is that not pure hypocrisy on their part?? ... feminism has nothing to do with anything, its your misplaced ego that is in the way of your common sense... which will always make you fail in a r/ship. are you telling me that A) you cannot tell a woman that she can either be your slave in marriage (while you pay all the bills) OR be equal in marriage (while you share all the bills)?! or B) stand your ground and get rid of any woman who does not want to abide by point A ?!?!? how desperate are you that some woman can just come and play-play you like football?!? 1 Like |
| Re: Here Is 1 Mistake That Can Destroy A Man’s Life by MrBrownJay1(m): 5:34pm On Jul 04, 2020 |
lefulefu: exactly!!! the problem is that many of these women have to stay home when the kids are born (which is fully understandable), but as soon as these children go to kindergarten, this woman better go look for gainful employment. many of the men who expects wifey to stay home all day, like a caged animal, are jealous/insecure men who dont want their women to be around other men. lol! |
| Re: Here Is 1 Mistake That Can Destroy A Man’s Life by seanwilliam(m): 8:54pm On Jul 04, 2020 |
MrBrownJay1:you are already deviating from context of discussion... A sensible man would not wait or hope to get support from his spouse rather he would strive hard to be financially and emotionally balanced on his own.. problem someone like you have is that you rely much on what you hear than what is actually in practice.. we are talking of what is found in an average Africa home you are here citing mary j oblige and a host of others whose way of life is clearly different from ours... .. your wife can only support you to some extent, u cant share equal Bills here bobo, this is not America .. And funnest thing is that your type actually practice opposite of what you preach 1 Like |
| Re: Here Is 1 Mistake That Can Destroy A Man’s Life by MrBrownJay1(m): 9:47pm On Jul 04, 2020 |
seanwilliam: a "sensible" man would never kill himself to provide for a family, while his lazy wife lets him struggle like a slave (while she uses her own money to buy irrelevant selfish nonsense) problem someone like you have is that you rely much on what you hear than what is actually in practice.. we are talking of what is found in an average Africa home you are here citing mary j oblige and a host of others whose way of life is clearly different from ours... YOU sir, is the person who talked about the west, while you didnt know what you were talking about... so i had to educate you on the subject! you should thank me for that... your wife can only support you to some extent, u cant share equal Bills here bobo, this is not America .. again, as i said earlier, low self esteem insecure men (with misplaced ego) like you, never succeed in any union because your wife is a slave and you use your money to keep her quiet and obedient... while she does absolutely nothing (aka has no value) apart from cooking, cleaning and her womb. maybe the reason America is a bit better is because there is no such thing as a free ride... aka if you have two feet and two hands then get your lazy nyansh out there and get a job, so that your family can enjoy TWO salaries instead of suffering with only one. And funnest thing is that your type actually practice opposite of what you preach you can assume whatever you desire... but best believe when i tell you that i may be the stingiest men on NL, and PROUD TO BE too, because money doesnt grow on trees. i fully well know the meaning of "family", while you certainly dont. if you believe that your wifey can stay home doing absolutely nothing (or keep her salary to spend on BS) while you slave away like an animal, then i do feel pity for you/Nigerians. your low self esteem has you scared that your wife will be on the same level as you... so what if she is?! isnt she your other half? your insecurities has you afraid that your wife may have an opinion of her own... so what if she has? isnt she your other half? |
| Re: Here Is 1 Mistake That Can Destroy A Man’s Life by seanwilliam(m): 10:14pm On Jul 04, 2020 |
MrBrownJay1: Lol, do you know your problem ?? You are trying so hard to prove a point I already agreed with.. I never said what you proffered was wrong.. infact I 100% support it.. but you choose to ignore the fact that this is Africa where we need to consider our culture to some extent.. And I never said a woman should not work for her own money or to support the family , but my point is as a man , you should not be waiting for that, you should be financially standing on your own.. she would need to support you in one way or the other but you as a man shouldn't rely on that.. what if she fhuck up? What if she decides to spend her money on something else even when both of you have got children' and other unavoidable responsibilities on ground. Would you now neglect them on the ground that your wife is not financially contributing to the family upkeep?? ... I have not been to America, I'm not used to their way of life, I can only try to imbibe.. I can confidently talk about what is obtainable in an average Africa marriage .. down here A MAN IS THE HEAD, he is the god, he is the alpha and he is instructor, he is the leader, the truth is, in this part of the world, a man is superior to woman and would do anything to maintain and massage his ego.... Shey u geh me?? In this part of the world, if you share equal responsibility with your spouse especially the financial aspects, then there are high chances that she would loose respect for you on the long run U and i know how it works here.. I know you trying to bring western culture into play, but you already know the system in practice here might not make it easy .... A woman should be self reliance too, me particularly cant marry a liability but that should not cloud my eyes to the facts that I am the head... And even if we advocating for equal right, it can only work to some extent...answer me, why do men pay bride price?? 2 Likes |
| Re: Here Is 1 Mistake That Can Destroy A Man’s Life by Ghallant01(m): 10:15pm On Jul 04, 2020 |
seanwilliam: Bruh can you explain "redpill" for me Better |
| Re: Here Is 1 Mistake That Can Destroy A Man’s Life by seanwilliam(m): 10:38pm On Jul 04, 2020 |
Ghallant01: Unpleasant truth... Red pill refers to (becoming enlightened to) the truth about reality, especially a truth that is difficult to accept or exposes disillusions. It now depends on the context.. Redpills also means self worth, all depends on usage.. it is used among anti-feminist to refer to "waking up" to the truth that women are oppressing men 2 Likes |
| Re: Here Is 1 Mistake That Can Destroy A Man’s Life by Ghallant01(m): 10:40pm On Jul 04, 2020 |
seanwilliam:Thanks alot |
| Re: Here Is 1 Mistake That Can Destroy A Man’s Life by MrBrownJay1(m): 11:16pm On Jul 04, 2020 |
seanwilliam: bro this is the whole issue... your misplaced ego accepts this nonsense "this is Africa" to enslave yourself with good for nothing lazy women. now use your brain and tell me whether it makes any sense to you? or better yet, whats the worst that can happen to you if you ask your wifey to have a JOB so she can contribute to the family, and you guys (and your family) can be richer!!!! are you telling me that its better for your family to have one salary and struggle all year long, instead of having two salaries and be comfortable?!?!?!?!?!!? And I never said a woman should not work for her own money or to support the family , but my point is as a man , you should not be waiting for that, so you mean this woman should fall on her head and decide to contribute to the family on her own?! thats both parents duties. you should be financially standing on your own.. she would need to support you in one way or the other but you as a man shouldn't rely on that.. let me guess: and when you buy a house, you will now put that lazy woman's name (expert in telemundo and telenovelas) on the deed, abi? what if she fhuck up? What if she decides to spend her money on something else even when both of you have got children' and other unavoidable responsibilities on ground. Would you now neglect them on the ground that your wife is not financially contributing to the family upkeep?? ... "decide to spend her money on something else".... while the family's wellbeing is the priority? then you have no option than to divorce that useless woman. you should instead ask questions such as: what if you (hubby) lose your job? what if you get an injury and cant work for a while? do you now think that this useless lazy woman will suddenly decide to work for the family?!?!?! I have not been to America, I'm not used to their way of life, I can only try to imbibe.. yet that same "alpha/leader" cannot tell his lazy wife to get her nyansh off the couch and get a job...?! that man is no leader/alpha, na true sheep him be!!!! Shey u geh me?? then if/when she does, you correct her and insert proper sense into her deranged brain! if because of money your wife loses respect for you then its obvious you are with the wrong woman and need to get rid of that animal! U and i know how it works here.. I know you trying to bring western culture into play, but you already know the system in practice here might not make it easy .... i fully well know that this is the system in place in Nigerian men's mind but its because of you guys that they are the way they are. women that are A) desperate for marriage and/or B) come a dime a dozen... you now want to tell me that you cant TAKE her salary from her, and do with it whats good for the family (if she doesnt want to chip in for the family)?! and you now want to call yourself "alpha/leader"?! if you are indeed the man of the house, then act like one... who would even want such lazy good for nothing woman as the mother of their kids? the minute you have no money to pay the bills, she will go and open her legs to the next brotha, since such woman has no respect for you and/or your family, if you have no money! A woman should be self reliance too, me particularly cant marry a liability but that should not cloud my eyes to the facts that I am the head... there can only be ONE leader in a family, but that doesnt mean that everyone else's opinion does not matter. let your woman bring her opinion to the table, let her have her say... just because its "her" opinion, does not mean she is automatically wrong or you shouldnt listen to what she has to say. why are you so afraid if your woman sometimes make decisions for the household? will it undermine your leadership? will it strip you of your status? i really dont understand how an African man can "feel" so powerful, yet so afraid of women!!! And even if we advocating for equal right, it can only work to some extent...answer me, why do men pay bride price?? exactly bro!!!! the bride price thingy is even better.... you paid bride price, so you tell that woman what to do and the house/family rules ...if she does not want to follow the family rules, then send her packing right back to her family (as NO good) and demand for your bride price back! aint you "alpha/leader"?!?!? then act like one! |
| Re: Here Is 1 Mistake That Can Destroy A Man’s Life by seanwilliam(m): 11:48pm On Jul 04, 2020 |
MrBrownJay1: Lol, If they fail to contribute to the family financial needs.. how many times will you remarry/divorce ?? Stop confusing yourself... your assertion is 2+2 =4 while mine is 3+1=4... .. u grab? Shey be you said Africa culture dey enslave and you trying to advocating for equate right why then do only men pay price in marriage? Why don't women pay groom price? What does that tell you?? See bro you just running round the circle .. No one is saying your wife cant contribute to the family in finance, advise, care etc, but what we saying is there can never be equality in contribution.. if there is , then it means we have equal right which means your spouse can never be submissive to u .. It is expected of your wife to be in support but note that if it equal then you already lost your position as the head.. Being able to stand balancely is what makes you the head.. And also you are just twisting my point.. I already said marrying a liability is no no.. I already said both contribution is normal.. but if it is equal, your woman will never respect you las las..and u as a man should not be capitalising on women's support.. What makes women respect you is when they know you beat them in every aspect(money, exposure, career, self worth, decision making and soon).. a woman would disrespect u in the long run if she finds out you are in the same level with her in money, exposure, career, self worth, decision making and soon.. Nobody prays for misfortune, but if a turn down in fortune happens to a man,, that is when the absolute support of a wife comes in.. now listen attentively, if something of such happens, your prayer should be for solution to come on time, cos if solution no come, see u don enter one chance.. she would loose the respect for you in the long run.. Women naturally cant hold leadership position effectively.. although there are always exceptions in every case.. The koko is being a step above her in aspects that determine the leader.. 1 Like |
| Re: Here Is 1 Mistake That Can Destroy A Man’s Life by MrBrownJay1(m): 12:46am On Jul 05, 2020 |
seanwilliam: any wise man will make sure that his future wife will contribute her fair share to the family finances (before marrying her), so you guys can be richer. no man should marry a liability! Stop confusing yourself... your assertion is 2+2 =4 while mine is 3+1=4... .. u grab? but do you hear what you are saying?! you pay bride price, you "pay" for a wife, and then you (Mr alpha/leader) suddenly cant tell that woman what time it is?! No one is saying your wife cant contribute to the family in finance, advise, care etc, but what we saying is there can never be equality in contribution.. if there is , then it means we have equal right which means your spouse can never be submissive to u .. i told you earlier that this was the reason you wanted to pay everything...aka to CONTROL YOUR SPOUSE...while she should be submissive whether you pay the rent or she does...here is a clue: you pay 100K monthly and she pays 90K...OR you pay 250K and she pays 200K.. let there be a clear amount that both MUST pay each month for the wellbeing of the family... this is not a choice but a set fee (min 80% of your contribution) that she must contribute each month... if she doesnt contribute then she is no better than the housegirl! btw: if she earns more than you then SHE pays more. It is expected of your wife to be in support but note that if it equal then you already lost your position as the head.. WRONG!!! you see, the problem with you is that you can only assume a position of power through paying the bills, while a TRUE alpha/leader would be the head of the family even while being jobless and wifey was the only one working. if your wife can only respect your leadership if you pay all the bills then you are NO leader, but just a household mumu. And also you are just twisting my point.. I already said marrying a liability is no no.. I already said both contribution is normal.. but if it is equal, your woman will never respect you las las..and u as a man should not be capitalising on women's support.. a family need all the support they can get, to better their lifestyle and wellbeing... only a very confused couple would rather suffer under one salary that being comfortable with two. What makes women respect you is when they know you beat them in every aspect(money, exposure, career, self worth, decision making and soon).. a woman would disrespect u in the long run if she finds out you are in the same level with her in money, exposure, career, self worth, decision making and soon.. marriage is not a competition, its a partnership... the minute you understand that, the better your life will be.... and sadly, so long as you see your wife as "an opponent that you must beat", you will never find happiness in your union. you are truly immature if you view your wife as the enemy, while that woman should be the best player on your team (and vice versa). when you are tired she is the one who should take over for you; when you are down, she is the one that should lift you up; when you are worried, she is the one that should give you a shoulder to rest on and tell you that all will be ok. the image African men have of marriage is such an ugly fake picture... more like two people who are using one another for their own selfish agenda. Nobody prays for misfortune, but if a turn down in fortune happens to a man,, that is when the absolute support of a wife comes in.. now listen attentively, if something of such happens, your prayer should be for solution to come on time, cos if solution no come, see u don enter one chance.. she would loose the respect for you in the long run.. such a sad statement... no wonder marriage in Africa is a joke! Women naturally cant hold leadership position effectively.. although there are always exceptions in every case.. as i said earlier, you are no leader if the only thing you bring to the table is money (and only way wifey will respect you is with that same money)... you are just a household mugu! |
| Re: Here Is 1 Mistake That Can Destroy A Man’s Life by seanwilliam(m): 7:16am On Jul 05, 2020 |
MrBrownJay1: MR. MAN stop saying what is not to feel good.. we know a man is rated based on what he can provide..and the earlier you know that every love is conditional love the better ..the earlier you know that a woman loves u based on what you can provide..(money, good sex, decision making, security , assurance etc.) The better.. No woman will love u unconditionally without u providing the basic needs.. Stop this whataboutism.. I can prove it to you in a 1000 ways that there can never be equality in contribution in marriage down here.. even in the west, spouse dont give absolute respect for their husband.. why? Because you both directly sharing the leadership position... Marriage is an institution, every institution needs a leader / controller to paddle the canoe.. before u can lead/control , you must possess what others dont.. It is not ego, it is tradition.. A family man deserves every respect, and he can only get that through what he can provide coupled with some self worth.. The truth is a man cant say he is tired, rather change method and approach to make things easier for him... The day you are tired is the day your respect diminishes in the family and society at large.. Stop basking in euphoria of western equality in marriage.. it doesn't work anywhere.. that is why west has higher divorce rate compared to Official statistics that suggest that divorce is exceedingly uncommon in Nigeria. What works here might not work over there and vice versa, cos we have different upbringing.. Biblically , women are known to be supportive but not advocating for equality in contribution.. U dont give respect to who you are better than or who you are in the same position in the long run.. why ? Because u know you have nothing to loose since you already can do what they have to offer.. U self ask yourself, you have a roommate, both of u contribute equally from house rent to sustenance, to decision making, to every aspect of living.. now tell me what is going to determine the leader? And organisation/group/family/ Society without leader is a joke. clear cut decision would not be possible because everyone would make sure that their idea materialise.. There is a reason God created man first, there is a reason God made man the head.. Modified: paying bride price already gives u edge over your wife, that clearly shows u man is superior.. it means you indirectly buy her.. what does that tell you?? Sheybi we are equal , nobody should be mandated to pay any price nah... If you recognise and support paying bride price then your hypocrisy is topnotch Equality doesn't make marriage work.. 1.Marriage would work if there is absolute respect for the LEADER.. 2.Marriage would work when the basic needs are provided Marriage would work when you as a man combines the 1&2 above with self worth( redpillsm).. 1 Like |
| Re: Here Is 1 Mistake That Can Destroy A Man’s Life by 22brains(m): 10:02am On Jul 05, 2020 |
seanwilliam:am 100percent in support of seanwilliam / MrBrownJay1 Quotes. We don too pamper women spoil sef. What he is saying is very simple. A woman should also have a monetary contribution to the family. Have you wonder why the men die before the women? it's because of the excess work load they bear. A man pays the DOWRY, pays for her upkeep, pays for the kids fee, pays for rent, fends for the wife's family, meet pressure from in-laws and the woman does what? WHAT A MAN CAN DO, A WOMAN CAN DO also. They're bunch of LIABILITIES. 3 Likes |
| Re: Here Is 1 Mistake That Can Destroy A Man’s Life by seanwilliam(m): 10:28am On Jul 05, 2020 |
22brains:yea.. in all my post I support women financial contributions...infact, no man should marry liability..but equal contribution would strip one off his leadership position.. and when there is no leader an institution is tend to fail.. It is expected for your wife to support you , but the moment she assumes the leading role( in finance, security etc), she would lose the ultimate respect for you in the long run.. u as a man would see that as a bruise to your ego, from that problem would start ... I'm 100% in support of women's contribution but not equality.. except you as a man would become the wife in actual sense and u will not have any cause to complain , it's fine.. Note by women contribution ( western culture) and still giving you the ultimate respect (Africa culture) as a leader, I'm trying to blend the two cultures to make the marriage effective both in finance and respevf Peace! 2 Likes |
| Re: Here Is 1 Mistake That Can Destroy A Man’s Life by 22brains(m): 11:29am On Jul 05, 2020 |
seanwilliam:you are wise. |
| Re: Here Is 1 Mistake That Can Destroy A Man’s Life by MrBrownJay1(m): 6:24pm On Jul 05, 2020 |
seanwilliam: ... and your insecure self will love this woman for what?! for agreeing to settle with you? for being an expert in telemundo? for being a lazy ungrateful person who would rather have your family suffer (while she lays down all day) instead of contributing to the family?!? the problem here is not even African culture/society, its YOU... you were born a LION but are acting like a sheep, thanks to these same women you are trying to impress. if you struggle everyday and your wife does NOT want to contribute to the household, then the problem is A) you and B) ]that selfish useless woman you got married to... and certainly not African culture. funny enough, if you tell that same useless lazy woman that you will get a 2nd wife (like our African culture allows), see how she will throw your "African culture" nonsense right back in your face! No woman will love u unconditionally without u providing the basic needs.. Stop this whataboutism.. and you call yourself an "alpha"?!?!?! is it alphabet or AL FAyed?!?!?! you are a sheep, you will remain a sheep, because you think like a sheep! you actually think a woman who will only respect you (if you pay all bills) loves you unconditionally?!?!? bwaaaaaah, she loves your MONEY, she loves the lazy useless good for nothing lifestyle you are giving her, she loves the fact that she can save her own money and buy mansions for her own selfish self! I can prove it to you in a 1000 ways that there can never be equality in contribution in marriage down here.. even in the west, spouse dont give absolute respect for their husband.. why? Because you both directly sharing the leadership position... then simply ask wifey to contribute 40% of all bills while you pay 60%, but if you are even afraid to approach your wife and make her understand why she needs to contribute for the wellbeing of the family, then you sir are a puppy, NOT a leader! It is not ego, it is tradition.. A family man deserves every respect, and he can only get that through what he can provide coupled with some self worth.. if you educate yourself on tradition, then you will know that African women MUST respect African men whether they pay all the bills or not. women must be obedient, submissive and subserving... and this has nothing to do with paying the bills. The truth is a man cant say he is tired, rather change method and approach to make things easier for him... if not by having your wife WORK, then how will you achieve the above?! will you now ask your kids to eat less? or will you walk to work instead of using your car/bus? or better yet, will you move to the village to pay less rent?!?!? lol! The day you are tired is the day your respect diminishes in the family and society at large.. it may also be the reason why Nigerian men are dying (or ending up in jail) faster than Nigerian women. see the type of stress you carry on top your head, because of marriage. kai! What works here might not work over there and vice versa, cos we have different upbringing.. this issue has nothing to do with Nigeria vs the west...and instead all to do with COMMON SENSE! - any smart person knows that 2 salaries is better than 1 for any family - any smart person understands that its best for your wife to contribute to the household, than staying home to watch telemundo while you bust your nyansh to make ends meet. - any smart person knows that, if your wife does not care about the family wellbeing (and rather spend her salary on Brazilian hair and Gucci bags), then you should get rid of this ungrateful woman. - any smart person understands that respect is earned, and certainly not bought, as any lazy abusive disrespectful narrow minded woman would never respect you (even if you spend a million naira on the family every week) Biblically , women are known to be supportive but not advocating for equality in contribution.. using religion in this issue will have you fail time and time again... dont even go there as it is a lost cause! you should instead educate yourself on the words of your bible. U dont give respect to who you are better than or who you are in the same position in the long run.. why ? Because u know you have nothing to loose since you already can do what they have to offer.. are you saying you dont respect your wife (because you "think" you are better than her) but expect her to respect you?!?!?!?!?!?!! you make less and less sense in this discussion... you seem so afraid of women. U self ask yourself, you have a roommate, both of u contribute equally from house rent to sustenance, to decision making, to every aspect of living.. now tell me what is going to determine the leader? And organisation/group/family/ i never said that you shouldnt be the leader of your family, i am just letting you know that you can be the leader while listening to your wife's opinion/views. also, i am telling you that any leader who needs money to enslave people into being submissive, is NO leader! a society with an oppressive leader, and/or who doesnt want to listen to its subjects, is a failed society There is a reason God created man first, there is a reason God made man the head.. bringing religion to this issue will have you fail time and time again... read your bible again! whether you pay brideprice or buy a female slave in Libya desert, if you are so afraid of that person's opinion/views (as if she will take over the family's leadership if she opens her mouth), then you are no Alpha/leader. using money to force a woman to be quiet is not only very low, it shows the type of insecure man you are. If you recognise and support paying bride price then your hypocrisy is topnotch dont get me wrong....whoever wants to pay bride price, then thats their life and i dont care about it (i would never do that).... but lets be clear on something: if you buy a wife by paying brideprice, yet cant tell this woman what time it is... then you are definitely no leader/alpha (and this has nothing to do with money) Equality doesn't make marriage work.. you can NEVER get selfworth if the respect that your woman has for you is based on you being a household mumu. times are evolving, women are evolving, yet YOU want to remain in the past. you cant expect to do today what was done in the past.. |
| Re: Here Is 1 Mistake That Can Destroy A Man’s Life by shestrong(f): 7:02pm On Jul 05, 2020 |
22brains:Makes alot of sense...no lies. 1 Like |
| Re: Here Is 1 Mistake That Can Destroy A Man’s Life by 22brains(m): 8:07pm On Jul 05, 2020 |
shestrong:shestrong, thanks. 1 Like |
| Re: Here Is 1 Mistake That Can Destroy A Man’s Life by seanwilliam(m): 9:35pm On Jul 05, 2020 |
MrBrownJay1:I think It is high time i left you to bask in your ignorance and unyieldingness ...stop putting what I didnt say in my mouth.. I never said a man should be paying all the Bills nor did I say one salary is better than two.. what I am telling you is that there is no how you and your wife would be equally contributing and still get respect for you in the long run ... I know you are ignoring the bolded in other to get a point to counter me. Equal Equal Equal Equal is what I'm talking about gentlemen.. This is not misogynistic, but A MAN IS MEANT TO CONTROL HIS WIFE.. even the bible established that fact... How do you control? U control with what you have which the other person doesn't have ( self worth, money, exposure etc . ).. who can you control? You can only control who you are superior to... What makes the person accept your control over them? Because they see you as a superior.. And whether you agree or not, the fact still remains that 'your woman cant love you or submit to you unconditionally'... The condition here simply means what you have to offer( what she is benefiting from you).. the condition might be Money, goodsex,security,self worth, career ,exposure e.tc.. so the moment you loose those qualities of yours( quality here means what she likes in you ), she begins to disrespect you.. and when that happens, there would be problem... And let me tell you one thing, relationship or marriage would never work if there is no RESPECT... respect brings LOYALTY... U can hurt who you love, but you can never disrespect who you are loyal to. And when there is absolute respect in marriage, then success is SURE... A single head might not be able to effectively discharge leadership duties all the time , that is why we always have deputies and vices.. Governor is superior to deputy( deputy is only meant to support).. president is superior to vice president ( vice is meant to support).. Are they equal  NO... now relate the bolded to marriag. I'm sure you'll grab my point..1 Like |
| Re: Here Is 1 Mistake That Can Destroy A Man’s Life by shestrong(f): 9:51pm On Jul 05, 2020 |
22brains: 1 Like |
| Re: Here Is 1 Mistake That Can Destroy A Man’s Life by shestrong(f): 9:52pm On Jul 05, 2020 |
. |
| Re: Here Is 1 Mistake That Can Destroy A Man’s Life by chigoizie7(m): 10:14pm On Jul 05, 2020 |
You are 100% correct. It is only by the grace of God and Gods interventions. People do not see it. Unless your parents are well to do or very supportive in the sense that they will take the responsibility of taking care of both mother and child while you pursue your dreams 1st. But if you are living from hand to mouth and then got a girl pregnant. Just forget it. |
| Re: Here Is 1 Mistake That Can Destroy A Man’s Life by VicM6: 10:58pm On Jul 05, 2020 |
22brains:Unless if i play US lottery jackpot then i can bcom a 30billon gang overnight if i won. |
and most men who insist their wives must stay home while they go out to hustle they dont even know that wen someone is idle it will affect such a person.how can someone just sitdown from morning till night watching telemondo What Do People Compliment You On? / Two Naked Chicks Seen Walking Around The Street(pictures) / These Beautiful Women Say That They Have Never Had An Orgasm.where D Guys At
Viewing this topic: 1 guest(s)
(Go Up)
| Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 265 |