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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Advise For A Woman Whose Husband Is Suffering From A Spinal Cord Injury (44139 Views)
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Re: Advise For A Woman Whose Husband Is Suffering From A Spinal Cord Injury by Nobody: 11:05pm On Jul 09, 2020 |
bukatyne:I don't know their full story so I refrain from commenting on the issue but taking care of somebody with spinal chord injury is no beans at all. I feel for both of them. It can be frustrating. She should explain his situation better to see if they can get help. 3 Likes |
Re: Advise For A Woman Whose Husband Is Suffering From A Spinal Cord Injury by Nobody: 11:13pm On Jul 09, 2020 |
bukatyne:It's not easy at all. |
Re: Advise For A Woman Whose Husband Is Suffering From A Spinal Cord Injury by Saintmary(f): 11:21pm On Jul 09, 2020 |
LadySarah:Poor woman. I pray God will help me and all other ladies who say Amen with this marriage matter. Lord help us 1 Like
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Re: Advise For A Woman Whose Husband Is Suffering From A Spinal Cord Injury by UyaiIncomparabl(f): 11:41pm On Jul 09, 2020 |
Acidosis: LOL. Such is life. Human love is conditional, as you may already know. So, it is best you adapt to that notion and move on without holding grudges to what people chose to do, for starters, by not calling another human useless for a choice she made by reasons best known to her. In your first paragraph, as I reiterated in the former mention, it is easier said than done. We shall never know how the shoes will hurt until they really hurt. 6 Likes |
Re: Advise For A Woman Whose Husband Is Suffering From A Spinal Cord Injury by thorpido(m): 11:44pm On Jul 09, 2020 |
cococandy:Long term care facilities don't exist in Nigeria.Just short term ICU stay and then the patient is discharged to be nursed at home. There are organisations that provide skilled nursing care but they are home based.Their personnel are sent home to nurse people in their homes. |
Re: Advise For A Woman Whose Husband Is Suffering From A Spinal Cord Injury by cococandy(f): 12:29am On Jul 10, 2020 |
Acidosis:like you? Right? ![]() And for the sake of clarity, we are to understand that you will stay celibate for the rest of your life? CC bukatyne talking about American Christians in response to acidosis’ post to me rather than address me directly. Neither did you state what you would do. 8 Likes |
Re: Advise For A Woman Whose Husband Is Suffering From A Spinal Cord Injury by bukatyne(f): 12:40am On Jul 10, 2020 |
Acidosis: @ Neither here or there: It takes courage and strength of character to take a stand whether it is popular or not once you are convinced it is the best decision for you and consistent. I just started understanding that 'friendship with the world is enmity with Christ' after that. Once can't choose God and mammon. That's one thing I admire about Muslims: the average professing Muslim wants to stand out for Allah and not blend in to play both sides. Jehovah witnesses also hold a candle in that aspect. 2 Likes |
Re: Advise For A Woman Whose Husband Is Suffering From A Spinal Cord Injury by cococandy(f): 12:58am On Jul 10, 2020 |
Apparently since this thread is now about you and acidosis’s perfect relationship with Christ, we are waiting to actually see you state what you would do. Except for stating how hard it must obviously be for her, you have managed to not tell the forum what you do about sex in this situation. Only to ride on his post to talk about less than perfect Christians Since it’s no longer about advising the OP but about making a religious stand.Go for it. bukatyne: 12 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Advise For A Woman Whose Husband Is Suffering From A Spinal Cord Injury by pocohantas(f): 7:39am On Jul 10, 2020 |
The irony of this whole argument is, in reality, there are way more women doing this. There are so many women with paralyzed husbands and all. Turn the table... The second you as a woman suffers any illness that makes you unable to function- e no go pass 1mth, you are back to your parents house. Whatever the woman wants to do is up to her. 99% of Nigerian men won’t do same. 19 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Advise For A Woman Whose Husband Is Suffering From A Spinal Cord Injury by NoToPile: 8:07am On Jul 10, 2020 |
One thing I do know is I will never wish even my worst enemy to be in that situation. Theory is always different from practical, its easier to say this and that but in reality its not always so. I don't even understand how she will be the breadwinner ( working full time) and caring for the husband fulltime. And this thread is going haywire again...... 6 Likes |
Re: Advise For A Woman Whose Husband Is Suffering From A Spinal Cord Injury by Perogbangba(f): 8:18am On Jul 10, 2020 |
The Lord is your strength woman! leaving the marriage isn't a good idea... Remember, for better or worse. 1 Like |
Re: Advise For A Woman Whose Husband Is Suffering From A Spinal Cord Injury by LordKO(m): 8:32am On Jul 10, 2020 |
pocohantas: My Woke-C sista (aka ogunboy) has come again with her usual "opinion (derision)" which she's entitled to but other people aren't entitled to theirs once they express it by calling her out for her bullshit. One of the people who hates campaign of calumny and sarcasm but dishes them out to others without an iota of humaneness. One among the many who believes that graciously indulging their nonsense means they're powerful and feared. Henceforth learn to express your opinion within the confines of decorum, else you won't enjoy the privilege of eating your cake and having it. Don't give me reason to hate you. Before you start explaining away yourself on how you aren't a practicing Christian when I haven't inferred and assumed same, even when you knew that I know better, like you slyly did the other time, know that crassness and expediency are what made you a member of Woke-C, not your religious affiliation or otherwise of it. Stop being toxic, so that you can know true peace and happiness. I must help make you a better person, whether you like it or not. 16 Likes |
Re: Advise For A Woman Whose Husband Is Suffering From A Spinal Cord Injury by Truetalk3139: 8:56am On Jul 10, 2020 |
Carchoice: Looool... Mad o |
Re: Advise For A Woman Whose Husband Is Suffering From A Spinal Cord Injury by Liliantalks: 8:58am On Jul 10, 2020 |
pocohantas:very correct , the Mum of a friend of mine had mental issues recently , her husband just took her back to the village saying she was cheating blah blah blah, didn’t even take her to the hospital, he only took her to native doctors ,, last last the woman’s senior sister came around and took her to the hospital, she’s doing better n back with her husband. Just imagine reverse was the case. The same happened to a relative of mine ,, u know that mental illness that comes with child birth , she was returned to the family. Till she got better and returned to her husband . No financial help , nothing .. madam still went back o 5 Likes |
Re: Advise For A Woman Whose Husband Is Suffering From A Spinal Cord Injury by pocohantas(f): 9:08am On Jul 10, 2020 |
Liliantalks: I don’t know why they are fighting it and getting triggered. We see this thing happen everyday. They don’t even waste time, they will ship the woman back to her parents or siblings. There are way too many of such cases, the few exceptions are dismissed. ![]() ![]() The man’s family are not even helping and they all overlooked that. Toor! 12 Likes |
Re: Advise For A Woman Whose Husband Is Suffering From A Spinal Cord Injury by pocohantas(f): 9:12am On Jul 10, 2020 |
LordKO: This is the only thing I will address in your whole diatribe. Don’t overhype yourself. You will just join the many and I honestly won’t give a fck. ![]() ![]() 8 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Advise For A Woman Whose Husband Is Suffering From A Spinal Cord Injury by LordKO(m): 9:22am On Jul 10, 2020 |
pocohantas: LOL, you know whenever I see you trying so hard . . . I just de laugh as usual. Once more, eschew the habit of always exercising your liberty on the periphery of decorum for your own good. I know you can overcome it if you can give up . . . things. Na ma good sister you still be. Stay safe before I whozz you e-slap. 5 Likes |
Re: Advise For A Woman Whose Husband Is Suffering From A Spinal Cord Injury by pocohantas(f): 9:23am On Jul 10, 2020 |
LordKO: More incoherence... ![]() 7 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Advise For A Woman Whose Husband Is Suffering From A Spinal Cord Injury by Lucyspa: 9:43am On Jul 10, 2020 |
pocohantas: As in.... The guy types too many jargons. Apparently, he is still hurt from the last conversation u guys had on here. U shut am up well well. 3 Likes |
Re: Advise For A Woman Whose Husband Is Suffering From A Spinal Cord Injury by Hathor5(f): 9:53am On Jul 10, 2020 |
cococandy: LMAO 100% Imagine someone jumping on this thread preaching Christianity where someone called a woman in an extremely difficult situation useless to go on and claim that to be Christian is to live 'in enmity with the world'. Is there a second Christ than the one I was taught about? ![]() ![]() 5 Likes |
Re: Advise For A Woman Whose Husband Is Suffering From A Spinal Cord Injury by LordKO(m): 9:53am On Jul 10, 2020 |
Lucyspa: Mumu. She knows that I intentionally indulged her. Follow-follow will kill most of you. Poco na ma good sista, so we go settle las las. Hey! Direct your further mention to the bumpkins that brought you into this world because I don't automatically give attention to everyone. 9 Likes |
Re: Advise For A Woman Whose Husband Is Suffering From A Spinal Cord Injury by Acidosis(m): 9:59am On Jul 10, 2020 |
Hathor5: The Christ you were taught permits adultery. The Christ you were taught says you should enjoy marriage only when the weather is good and filled with milk and honey (horn. .y). The Christ you were taught did not use stronger words for an adulterous woman. The word "useless" is giving y'all sleepless nights and days ... a goal well achieved. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Advise For A Woman Whose Husband Is Suffering From A Spinal Cord Injury by Hathor5(f): 10:02am On Jul 10, 2020 |
Acidosis: The Christ I know helped people in need, sinners or not, instead of calling them names Mr Moralist. ![]() Those without sin throw the first stone. ![]() Go and read your Bible again. Not only Apostle Paul's writings please. Thank me later. ![]() 9 Likes |
Re: Advise For A Woman Whose Husband Is Suffering From A Spinal Cord Injury by cococandy(f): 10:02am On Jul 10, 2020 |
Hathor5: Is my hypothetical decision if I were to hypothetically find myself in her shoes actually going to do anything to help her in her current situation? The most realistic thing I can tell her is that I won’t judge her and I won’t. (If anyone doesn’t like me saying that bit, too bad ![]() But It’s seem like it’s no longer about OP when it starts to sound like that. Like they clearly stated , it’s about them making a stand so we can know where they belong on the spectrum of righteousness. Not about advising the OP. (I’m still doubting the OP a bit though because of the M in the moniker). 5 Likes |
Re: Advise For A Woman Whose Husband Is Suffering From A Spinal Cord Injury by bukatyne(f): 10:09am On Jul 10, 2020 |
Acidosis: There are different types of Christ. Even the Oyinbo one. Like someone would say: Many people want Him to be their personal saviour; they don't want Him to be their Lord. 3 Likes |
Re: Advise For A Woman Whose Husband Is Suffering From A Spinal Cord Injury by cococandy(f): 10:11am On Jul 10, 2020 |
pocohantas: My married aunt (I always talk about her because I really miss her). Got sick and couldn’t work anymore or take care of her home. Guess where she died, back in her father’s house because the husband couldn’t care for her. Do you know why anyone was even slightly upset with him, it wasn’t because he couldn’t care for her (Men usually are forgiven for such) it was because after she came home to be nursed, he stopped caring at all. Even for his kid who was a toddler then. Yes the toddler of course had to come home with the mom. Dad can’t work and take care of a toddler at the same time we were told. Never mind that Moms do it all the time but we forgive him for not being able to do so. But the moment he actually stopped calling, stopped caring, stopped asking how are they doing? Do they need anything? When can I visit? What does my child need? That was only when her family got upset with him. I can only pass judgment on a cruel woman. But a woman who’s doing what she can with what she has will always get a “you go girl” from me. 15 Likes |
Re: Advise For A Woman Whose Husband Is Suffering From A Spinal Cord Injury by Hathor5(f): 10:12am On Jul 10, 2020 |
cococandy: They came up with completely unrelated stuff making it as always ideological instead of giving practical advice which could actually make a difference. And this making a difference in terms of actually helping someone in their struggles would actually align with the Christian doctrine of loving your neighbor as you love yourself but it's not about that really. They are Christians where it serves them, oblivious of it where it doesn't. I wish I could offer advice but I have no idea which support system exists in Nigeria for people in her situation. I appreciate you calling people to the thread who have more information on that. And you are absolutely right to refrain from judgement for the simple reason that you have not walked in her shoes. I helped someone in my family take care of her husband before he died. With all the support system you get abroad this was one of the biggest challenges our family has ever had to face. The wife was a shadow of her self for five years, her health deteriorating from year to year and this with all hands on deck and the best medical support you can get. She once hurt herself badly by lifting the husband to change his clothes. She spent a week in the hospital and I stayed with her husband. My uncle and aunt stayed with me. It was a 24/7 job. Let me not share more details. I don't even want to go back there in my thoughts. The loudest mouths here have no idea what they are talking about. As they say, talk is cheap so let them hype themselves some more theoretically. ![]() 7 Likes |
Re: Advise For A Woman Whose Husband Is Suffering From A Spinal Cord Injury by Acidosis(m): 10:16am On Jul 10, 2020 |
Hathor5: And what need can I possibly address? Make myself her side guy or gigolo? I don't like to waste my time romanticizing negativity. 1 Like |
Re: Advise For A Woman Whose Husband Is Suffering From A Spinal Cord Injury by Acidosis(m): 10:18am On Jul 10, 2020 |
bukatyne: Very true 1 Like |
Re: Advise For A Woman Whose Husband Is Suffering From A Spinal Cord Injury by Hathor5(f): 10:21am On Jul 10, 2020 |
Acidosis: If you have no help to offer, don't comment to call someone in this extremely terrible situation names. Doing so is as far from Christ as can be. Romanticize negativity? You are negativity personified. Sorry. 12 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Advise For A Woman Whose Husband Is Suffering From A Spinal Cord Injury by Hathor5(f): 10:24am On Jul 10, 2020 |
bukatyne: Don't be a coward. 6 Likes |
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