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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / I Have 3 Things To Say To Those That Want Me To Commit Suicide (2758 Views)
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I Have 3 Things To Say To Those That Want Me To Commit Suicide by ChildOfDoom: 8:32am On Jul 10, 2020 |
I have seen over the years how people here have asked me to end my life and stop disturbing with my waywardness. It's true that people in a similar case as mine, would have long committed suicide. I read a news of a guy who committed suicide after using 150,000 naira of his boss to play bet9ja. Hian! Considering the gravity of my betting addiction, I should have wasted my life, according to some people. Only this year alone, I have gambled off 600,000 naira. You might think it's impossible considering I am a poor lowlife in a dormant city (Warri). Also, no money in this lockdown. For gambling, you work extra hard to make money or dupe people, just to foolishly gamble. I have the brains to make money and live normal but my addictions get the best of me. I've resigned to fate of being unfortunate and doomed. You won't believe I have over 101,000 naira debt to pay my employer after using some WASSCE money to gamble (I will be his 'slave' when school resumes till I pay off). I made lots of money begging online during the lockdown. Don Jazzy gave me 50,000 naira. Helen Paul gave me 10,000 etc. The most traumatic experience was when I gambled off 250,000 naira central bank collateral-free loan given to ease the effect of the lockdown. Now, hunger has set in. I am like a walking corpse. I am always sober, frustrated and depressed. I talk to myself. Always have nightmares due to my thoughts. At times, I scream or sob when I think of what I have done to myself. I blow the wall out of regrets. Unfortunately, we can't undo the past. Despite all these, I have 3 things to say to those who want me dead... 4 Likes |
Re: I Have 3 Things To Say To Those That Want Me To Commit Suicide by ChildOfDoom: 8:34am On Jul 10, 2020 |
1) I WILL KEEP STRIVING I believe successful people today had some ugly past which they fought to overcome. Some die in their addictions or get everlasting 'scar'. But some pull through, after trying and trying to stop. It won't be easy but I will try. To give my soul peace and make my mum proud. I will start by trying to regulate the act. Addictions don't just die down. Just like I have made masturbation and taking of carbonated drinks thrice a week instead of everyday, I will regulate gambling. Instead of bet9ja, I will visit merrybet henceforth. That way I will overcome the spirit of virtual. There I can still charge my phone. It's almost impossible not to gamble as a football lover or an ambitious man. Considering there is no other job out there. So I will try to make it just 100 naira betslip a day or cumulative amount of 500 naira a week when I have money. 5 Likes |
Re: I Have 3 Things To Say To Those That Want Me To Commit Suicide by ChildOfDoom: 8:58am On Jul 10, 2020 |
2) USE ME AS AN EXAMPLE I will not use sniper as some do or anything else. Just allow me live and share my lamentations once in a while. The unfortunate, live amongst the blessed, to serve as an example on how to live life in order not to be miserable. When your younger ones or male children try to tow the line of gambling, show them all my posts to make them desist from it. I am not happy running from one state to another to avoid those who hunt me. I am not happy gambling with my parent's or loved ones money or properties. I am not also happy making myself suffer or making others cry. It is what it is. That's what gambling addiction does to people. I know there are also other addictions your children should try to avoid. i have seen men get wrecked from coupon (pool) in the past. Never knew it will be my turn if i don't act pragmatically. Do you know I have only 4 trousers and 8 shirts in a manageable condition. Most of which where handed to me by my younger brother after he bought new ones (we use almost the same size of clothes). I hardly think of buying new clothes. My hair is rough and body unkempt. Two out of the five boxers i wear were formerly for my younger brother. 8 Likes |
Re: I Have 3 Things To Say To Those That Want Me To Commit Suicide by Blacklifematter: 9:08am On Jul 10, 2020 |
It's sad I don't know what to do either looking for ways to end my life as I think this is how it will keep going am just fed up. Looking for a painless death 1 Like |
Re: I Have 3 Things To Say To Those That Want Me To Commit Suicide by niceguy555: 9:15am On Jul 10, 2020 |
The best way to solve a problem is to admit and fight it. I believe that you can stop it since you have taken that decision and you must fight now. It is never late to improve your way of living 1 Like |
Re: I Have 3 Things To Say To Those That Want Me To Commit Suicide by ChildOfDoom: 9:18am On Jul 10, 2020 |
3) LIFE IS TOO PRECIOUS I tremble when I think of what it would be like when one is snuffed of life. Where does he go to? What happens to his aspirations? Is there an after life or bodies just decay in the ground? Lots of palpitating thoughts keep me going. Just once I went to jail, it wasn't funny at all. Knowing you are caged somewhere with no way out. I might be foolish, I might be miserable, I might be useless, I might be a bad egg and so on. But it is a lot better than being dead. So, I will not kill myself. If one goes to the hospital and see how people battle to survive, one has reasons to be grateful. I have been seriously ill before, so I know what I am saying. The rich, no matter their wealth, die from some incurable ailments. Ever wondered what sustains the mad people on the streets. Don't be surprised that wayward people like me will keep surviving while some well-to-do or good people die. That's life for you. So never wish bad for another 10 Likes |
Re: I Have 3 Things To Say To Those That Want Me To Commit Suicide by emillysmigael(f): 9:27am On Jul 10, 2020 |
I do not know what to say as I don't want to say something that will sound wrong... But pls, if you can... Stop gambling. Peoplè that were worse than you think you are, are now living responsibly. Maybe someday, I will be able to share my story to encourage you. 1 Like |
Re: I Have 3 Things To Say To Those That Want Me To Commit Suicide by Michael820(m): 9:57am On Jul 10, 2020 |
I wish I can say I know you feel, but I think I have at glimpse of what hopelessness is..but thank God for your case you are already making actionable steps to have a turn around and I must commend your honesty and "little step" approach to solving your problem. It's not going to be easy, but I will advice you to find a goal, a plan, or a passion something that makes the work(of getting) worth doing and much pleasurable..it could be as simple as the joy of your mother, proving everyone wrong or even been financially stable.. picture it and hold on to it. I wish you all the best my brother. Thanks for sharing |
Re: I Have 3 Things To Say To Those That Want Me To Commit Suicide by offset67(m): 10:07am On Jul 10, 2020 |
Op 6 Likes
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Re: I Have 3 Things To Say To Those That Want Me To Commit Suicide by Ejusni(m): 10:21am On Jul 10, 2020 |
I think you're a con artist. I think you are pretending. Your motive is what I don't know, with the way you write... I'm very sure you are well educated. Maybe you are using nairaland to hone your skills as a writer? I seriously doubt you're a nobody. 10 Likes |
Re: I Have 3 Things To Say To Those That Want Me To Commit Suicide by ChildOfDoom: 1:17pm On Jul 10, 2020 |
Blacklifematter:hmm.. My brother. It's a feeling that only those in our shoes can relate to. The song 'pray for me' by Dare Art Alade is what i use to soothe my mood as i seek redemption/breakthrough |
Re: I Have 3 Things To Say To Those That Want Me To Commit Suicide by davealvaro: 2:12pm On Jul 10, 2020 |
this life is more spiritual than we think..some things are meant to happen, is left for us to pray and apply wisdom, i have been in this before so i knw how u feel bro. the day i lose 250k i woke up at the middle of the night , started soliloquies, contemplating suicide, bro i almost ran mad dat week i swear never to do it again. i still play and lose x3 of dat, the thing made me stronger and made my heart looks like stone i can never be heartbroken cus there's nothing you can do to me that will surpass what bet9ja has done to me.......bro keep ur head up, have it in mind dat whatever ugly situation u find urself u must surely get out of it..IF U CAN SCALE THROUGH U ARE A HERO. 1 Like |
Re: I Have 3 Things To Say To Those That Want Me To Commit Suicide by ChildOfDoom: 4:54pm On Jul 10, 2020 |
niceguy555:okay sir. I will try. My short-term target is at least one month without gambling. So far, since beginning of july, i have not gambled |
Re: I Have 3 Things To Say To Those That Want Me To Commit Suicide by Kranediggy(m): 4:58pm On Jul 10, 2020 |
Dont give up on yourself, e go better. |
Re: I Have 3 Things To Say To Those That Want Me To Commit Suicide by Ginaz(f): 7:08pm On Jul 10, 2020 |
Child of doom you need therapy. Has it ever crossed your mind to see a psychiatrist or a therapist? There are mental health programs and medical treatment in place to help people struggling with addictions . Perhaps that is what you need and a mentor too. Kindly seek a therapist !! |
Re: I Have 3 Things To Say To Those That Want Me To Commit Suicide by Goddys(m): 7:42pm On Jul 10, 2020 |
ChildOfDoom: Have you thought of how you will miss the thrill of virtual and premier league if you commit suicide. If you can't stop your addiction, enjoy its thrills and manage its pains. All of us will die whenever death comes. Success and failure serve their different purpose . Even negativity is better than positivity sometimes. Life lacks its flavour where there is no negative or positive. They are both useful |
Re: I Have 3 Things To Say To Those That Want Me To Commit Suicide by ChildOfDoom: 8:38pm On Jul 10, 2020 |
emillysmigael:okay ![]() |
Re: I Have 3 Things To Say To Those That Want Me To Commit Suicide by ajailer(m): 9:20pm On Jul 10, 2020 |
we all need to be encouraged bro... I like that you said suicide is not an option for you. It actually shows that you are a fighter in your heart and I believe you will surely conquer your addictions one day.... setting a short term goal(get rich quick) for yourself is one of the issues you are having so I think you should change that mindset to more like a 5 years goal... that way you avoid taking impulsive decisions... forget age, it's most of the time just a number...........there is nothing new under the sun that has ever happened to man........all these your vices you are mentioning, you will be surprised that every average guy battles with it too but then some decide to do something about it by being wise..... I used to think I was being wasteful considering all the money I used in the past to gamble, including my salary o... but all those while, deep within me, I knew I wasn't going to be rich through winning a huge amount of money, it's just kind of like a day dream.... with that mindset, I was finally able to say NO to gamble when it got to a stage..... it's good to express how you feel but don't look for sympathy and someone to help you here with maybe more money in order to fix your life challenges, instead work on your self bro.... all the best. |
Re: I Have 3 Things To Say To Those That Want Me To Commit Suicide by CAPSLOCKED: 9:44pm On Jul 10, 2020 |
MY ONLY ADVICE TO YOU IS TO GAMBLE ON. MAYBE ONE DAY YOU'LL WIN SEVERAL MILLIONS. 1 Like |
Re: I Have 3 Things To Say To Those That Want Me To Commit Suicide by Nobody: 9:58pm On Jul 10, 2020 |
offset67:
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Re: I Have 3 Things To Say To Those That Want Me To Commit Suicide by ChildOfDoom: 7:40am On Jul 11, 2020 |
Michael820:Those three things highlighted will be my motivation henceforth. Thanks for the tips |
Re: I Have 3 Things To Say To Those That Want Me To Commit Suicide by ChildOfDoom: 11:44am On Jul 11, 2020 |
offset67:hmmm. k. I just hope I won't say one thing and go back to the opposite later |
Re: I Have 3 Things To Say To Those That Want Me To Commit Suicide by ChildOfDoom: 7:46pm On Jul 11, 2020 |
Ejusni:hmm.. you are right to say I am educated. i am a spill-over student awaiting my result. Things were going well for me till i lost focus in my final year due to bet9ja. I currently teach English in a substandard/low-paying school, with my SSCE result. So i worked on my diction over time. Gambling addiction and its effect is not a respecter of class. I have seen a lecturer get wrecked due to gambling |
Re: I Have 3 Things To Say To Those That Want Me To Commit Suicide by ChildOfDoom: 6:09am On Jul 12, 2020 |
davealvaro:you are right about it making one's heart like a heart of stone. I am hardly moved by happenings around. I hope to have a victory story like you someday. Thanks |
Re: I Have 3 Things To Say To Those That Want Me To Commit Suicide by InfernoNig: 8:51am On Jul 12, 2020 |
emillysmigael: Why not now as e dey hot |
Re: I Have 3 Things To Say To Those That Want Me To Commit Suicide by ChildOfDoom: 11:53am On Jul 12, 2020 |
Kranediggy:okay. Thanks. I really pray so. Though i went there to charge my phone yesterday, i didn't take the little i had with me. Two years now, no light in my area. Can't leave due to low rent. I will work on self-discipline. Just back from Mass. I asked God for intervention. 2 Likes |
Re: I Have 3 Things To Say To Those That Want Me To Commit Suicide by niceguy555: 12:40pm On Jul 12, 2020 |
ChildOfDoom: Ok nice. Keep it up |
Re: I Have 3 Things To Say To Those That Want Me To Commit Suicide by Kranediggy(m): 2:07pm On Jul 12, 2020 |
ChildOfDoom:God loves you bro, he'll intervene. Just keep a good relationship with God. But bro this 'Child of Doom' ain't good for a name o! Have a blessed Sunday |
Re: I Have 3 Things To Say To Those That Want Me To Commit Suicide by ChildOfDoom: 4:03pm On Jul 12, 2020 |
Ginaz:hmm.. Opening up is something i hardly do because i shamefully hide my ways. It's affecting me more and more. I will change. Where are therapists found? Are they affordable? |
Re: I Have 3 Things To Say To Those That Want Me To Commit Suicide by ChildOfDoom: 7:52pm On Jul 12, 2020 |
Goddys: ![]() |
Re: I Have 3 Things To Say To Those That Want Me To Commit Suicide by VicM6: 11:45pm On Jul 12, 2020 |
ChildOfDoom:Hmmm, Op ur problem is greed nd notin else because u can't tell me u gamble off 600k without wining bt d greed there isn't making tinz go straight 4 u.... We are all adicted to one thing or the other. Some people are addicted to drugs, women, movies, masturbation, stealing, etc..... I av been in ur shoes bro not until God save me and now i make cool cash..... I just want u to belive that u can pay back ur debts in 2months time but the problem is that won't u go back to the former ![]() |
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