Ybaby:


If the man has paid the school fees of his children why is the wife selling trinket to pay this same school fees?

@elifeonline Advise men to pay school fees so the children will not see their mother sell her trinket to educate them because of they do - the man is going to eat his night food ewa agoyin and palm oil.

Treat your wife well so that when the kids say mummy come she will say me and my husband are coming.

Treat your children well so they will say my daddy suffered for me I must look after him

If you donot sow school fees and shelter you will eat ewa agoyin in old age.

Cause and effect

@bold:

Gbam.

The law of seedtime and harvest has not changed.

dominique:
See as they open book of Lamentations early momo Sunday

Most men neglected by their kids have selective amnesia on when they were overly aggressive on their in the name of discipline, when they treated their wives like trash in the presence of their kids. A wise virtuous woman must take all sorts of suffering from her husband and must remain submissive ko? Guess who witnesses all of the sufferings? The virtuous kids! Virtuous wife grows old with bitterness in her heart, towards her husband, by then husband would have "repented" and wants the wife he treated badly to treat him with love and affection. Kolewerk!

My dad was strict when I was young but overall he wasn't a bad father. As close as we are to our mum, there's absolutely no way she can successfully poison our minds towards our dad because we can SEE that he's a good dad though he's strict.

Why not marry a good woman, treat her right, bond with your kids well and let's see if they will push you away in your old age when you need them most

Tell them oooo


Loud it!!!!!

Dande55:

Exactly.
Whatever you sow, you shall reap.

It's actually not true that all husbands who have been neglected at old age by their wives and offspring are bad, that is an indirect way of proclaiming all women good.

Most husbands who have been neglected at old age are actually servile men who are victims of crass, expedient and disingenuous wives - timidity/lack of willpower/low self-esteem is the greatest undoing of servile men, and women, not their evil deeds. Men who have been neglected at old age because of their evil deeds are in the minority.

LordKO:


It's actually not true that all husbands who have been neglected at old age by their wives and offspring are bad, that is an indirect way of proclaiming all women good.

Most husbands who have been neglected at old age are actually servile men who are victims of crass, expedient and disingenuous wives - timidity/lack of willpower/low self-esteem is the greatest undoing of servile men, and women, not their evil deeds. Men who have been neglected at old age because of their evil deeds are in the minority.

You think children will be dumb forever? Children grow and know who and who is being vile, self centred and wicked. You've never seen a case where the children come out to challenge their wicked and vicious mother for maltreating their father and not being appreciative? All these things you are saying, once the kids start growing, and start having sense, nobody will force them to take side.

Dande55:

You think children will be dumb forever? Children grow and know who and who is being vile, self centred and wicked. You've never seen a case where the children come out to challenge their wicked and vicious mother for maltreating their father and not being appreciative? All these things you are saying, once the kids start growing, and start having sense, nobody will force them to take side.

Only few children have always been able to disentangle themselves from mental conditioning of either of their parents and they usually do so when it's too late. The same way only few people in toxic union have always been able to extricate themselves from stockholm syndrome.

In fact, it's near impossible for someone who's inherently either feeble-minded or egoistic to either disentangle or extricate himself/herself from either of the maladies, especially when the oppressing party still enjoys his/her evil and has the wherewithal to maintain it.

The easiest way to avoid being a victim is coming into equity with clean hands and accept nothing less too.

LordKO:

It's actually not true that all husbands who have been neglected at old age by their wives and offspring are bad, that is an indirect way of proclaiming all women good.

Most husbands who have been neglected at old age are actually servile men who are victims of crass, expedient and disingenuous wives - timidity/lack of willpower/low self-esteem is the greatest undoing of servile men, and women, not their evil deeds. Men who have been neglected at old age because of their evil deeds are in the minority.

The bold text is certainly more true than the misinformation i.e your last sentence.

elifeonline:


To live a happy old age,
* Build your own house where you will live in your old age
* Build businesses, preferably properties, that will feed you in your old age
* Create conveniences, start learning things that will engage you in your old age
* Build friendship and goodwill that will serve you in your old age
* Right now, start to be relevant in your Church, community so you could be reckoned with in your old age

Old age could be lonely. An old age without money in your pocket is a slow, agonising death sentence!

Be warned. Take action NOW...!

These advises are more practical when it comes to having/achieving financial and economic comfort in old age.

Just shouting that a man should treat his wife well, and this is all he needs to be comfortable (and not lonely) in old age is a big gamble which no sensible man should ever take.

I'd rather wager my stability and comfort in old age on tangible things like in the list above, than on how a woman will feel about me.
Lol, the latter is too volatile, too uncertain.

Unnerve:

These advises are more practical when it comes to having/achieving financial and economic comfort in old age.

Just shouting that a man should treat his wife well, and this is all he needs to be comfortable (and not lonely) in old age is a big gamble which no sensible man should ever take.

I'd rather wager my stability and comfort in old age on tangible things like in the list above, than on how a woman will feel about me.
Lol, the latter is too volatile, too uncertain.

Exactly. Humans that are historically fickle-minded are the ones you should treat nicely so you will benefit from them in old age? Story!

Treat your wife well but make sure you sort yourself first.

Openbusiness3:
I never said a father should put himself first over his family. I can't do that. I won't do it. I put my sons first, I love them too much. Can't count how many times I went to bed hungry and weak just so I can put food in their mouth. Can't count the number of times I would eat once a day just so they can eat anytime they are hungry. I have forfeited things, gotten indebted, begged, crawled, scratched, swallowed ego, done things I never thought I would ever do for anyone just to be a good father to them. So this matter isn't about a father not wanting to sacrifice. This matter is about good fathers getting shut out of their children's lives when the harvest is ripe. It happens a lot, for different reasons too many to start talking about. So the OP is advising fathers to prepare for any eventuality, so they won't sink into depression and die as miserable frustrated sorrowful old men in their last days. That fathers should have a plan for themselves and put a little something away for themselves. Because often that not, as the days go by once the "dynamo of their lives" have been set in motion by good father who spent his best years making it happen, many are just left alone, with that subconscious idea that he is a man na, he can take care of himself. No, men need care too, especially after going through the toughest roughest battles of life to ensure the next generation are better off than where you were, than the best place you ever reached as a man. But many times, it looks like a case of 'use and dump', and sometimes, it is even worse when history is now "re-written" for the children and some good fathers are re-painted as absentees, yet they bore a lot of the dues that was paid. That's why you see many elderly men separating from their wives at old age and marrying younger girls. Many times, it is not about sex or lust. It is about companionship. The "old family" has abandoned him to himself and pushed him away with that "we don't need you anymore attitude". So he gets a younger girl (gold digger or not), that makes him feel special and wanted and gives him the companionship he desires to keep mind, body and soul together

Nothing explains this thread better than this reply.

Guys, don't get the Op wrong. This is not about men who treat their wives wrong, Caring for your parents in old age is an unwritten contract in Africa. Something I even admire, because it comes with its blessings. this also is what makes us different from the west. However, this thread is about men who sacrificed, struggled it out, did all they could while they could so the next generation could be better off only for the kids to be emotionally blackmailed to thinking their dad little or nothing.

I told a friend of mine, A man really knows a wife who loves him when he is weak, feeble, and vulnerable.

Haven said that i dont think men are fighting for resources with the mum, its just sad that men who sacrificed equally like the mums sometimes are not acknowledged for doing so. Making them feel unappreciated. It hurts seeing that you are treated the same way like an irresponsible father who did not cater to his family.

Nonetheless, please this is not a man vs woman thread. it's just a thread waking men up to preparing for their old age, this way nothing catches them off guard.

Someone said earlier, that is why it is good to marry a good woman as she ensures the kids never forget the sacrifices of ther father. the problem is you never really really know who a good woman is, it sometimes feel like black market. you marry with the hope that it ends good , that is why i am more disposed to attending a 20yr, 30yr wedding anniversy that a wedding party. Some of the ones person attend sef don scatter.

Anywayz, Men please dont hate your family o. keep doing your best, love your wife and dont forget yourself.

Smile4mee01:


Well said.

I think a man truly knows if is loved by his wife in his old age, a time when he is most vulnerable. Rather than spend unnecessary time with Family and adult kids. She would rather want to spend time with you talking about nothing.

All men won't be wealthy, but all men can plan to live a happier and better life.

If I was a journalist, I would make an interview of old men advising younger men.

Dont get it twisted, I am not saying dont love or provide for your family. I am saying you deserve a little love yourself while you still have life.

But my father is well loved in our family cause he strived for his family. He worked with my mother in raising us and catering for the family. He was not a lord; rather a husband and a father. He can cook and clean up after himself; can take of us singlehandedly even if our mother is not there. Washed my clothes for me till I was like 7, etc. He knew what family values was and there was no way my mother could have poisoned me against him.

While growing up, I knew my parents, especially my dad, lived modest lives to cater for us: old clothes, shoes, no vacations, no new cars, endured rain and sunshine just to cater for us. On top going to work everyday and managing peanut salary, he still found a way to balance his loving kindness and discipline. (I still dey fear his cane even in this my adulthood )

Now, to his benefits. He has a house in the village in his name. Although he inherited the land from his own parents, but my mother and our eldest contributed to the building cause of the kind of giving man he is. That's what sacrifice gives you in your old age.

Point is, a good man will reap good benefits in his old age.

This is so true. But some men are real men so they value their fathers like anything. Last week,a big shot banker in Lagos bought a house for his dad in somolu, renovated it and contracted us to install inverter for his dad. I was so impressed when I entered the building,the Spirit of his dad will keep praying for him till he dies.

Openbusiness3:
I never said a father should put himself first over his family. I can't do that. I won't do it. I put my sons first, I love them too much. Can't count how many times I went to bed hungry and weak just so I can put food in their mouth. Can't count the number of times I would eat once a day just so they can eat anytime they are hungry. I have forfeited things, gotten indebted, begged, crawled, scratched, swallowed ego, done things I never thought I would ever do for anyone just to be a good father to them. So this matter isn't about a father not wanting to sacrifice. This matter is about good fathers getting shut out of their children's lives when the harvest is ripe. It happens a lot, for different reasons too many to start talking about. So the OP is advising fathers to prepare for any eventuality, so they won't sink into depression and die as miserable frustrated sorrowful old men in their last days. That fathers should have a plan for themselves and put a little something away for themselves. Because often that not, as the days go by once the "dynamo of their lives" have been set in motion by good father who spent his best years making it happen, many are just left alone, with that subconscious idea that he is a man na, he can take care of himself. No, men need care too, especially after going through the toughest roughest battles of life to ensure the next generation are better off than where you were, than the best place you ever reached as a man. But many times, it looks like a case of 'use and dump', and sometimes, it is even worse when history is now "re-written" for the children and some good fathers are re-painted as absentees, yet they bore a lot of the dues that was paid. That's why you see many elderly men separating from their wives at old age and marrying younger girls. Many times, it is not about sex or lust. It is about companionship. The "old family" has abandoned him to himself and pushed him away with that "we don't need you anymore attitude". So he gets a younger girl (gold digger or not), that makes him feel special and wanted and gives him the companionship he desires to keep mind, body and soul together

No matter how much I try to see it, I can't. No man born of woman that put his family first will get "forgotten" by his family in his old age. Nature doesn't work like that. You can't tell me after your kids saw you suffer for them and you are nice and respectful to their mother, they'd forget all that? No nah. They aren't ingrates. Scenario where such happens is when spouses are not in sync so your sufferings may go unnoticed. Asides, no child will ignore any parents sacrifices in a good, balanced home.

Sixfeetbelle:


No matter how much I try to see it, I can't. No man born of woman that put his family first will get "forgotten" by his family in his old age. Nature doesn't work like that. You can't tell me after your kids saw you suffer for them and you are nice and respectful to their mother, they'd forget all that? No nah. They aren't ingrates. Scenario where such happens is when spouses are not in sync so your sufferings may go unnoticed. Asides, no child will ignore any parents sacrifices in a good, balanced home.

how many homes are good and balanced in Nigeria? How many homes are the spouses in sync?

Openbusiness3:
how many homes are good and balanced in Nigeria? How many homes are the spouses in sync?

Then I think this your question explains everything. It shows Ops advice is for men who knew they didn't treat their wives right and were absent in their children's life, never to men who understood family values.

Sixfeetbelle:


Then I think this your question explains everything. It shows Ops advice is for men who knew they didn't treat their wives right and were absent in their children's life, never to men who understood family values.

Who didn't treat their wives right? So every family that has issues is because the husband didn't treat his wife right? I don't think you understand what the OP is saying.

YourCoffin:

Exactly. Humans that are historically fickle-minded are the ones you should treat nicely so you will benefit from them in old age? Story!

Treat your wife well but make sure you sort yourself first.

True, especially about sorting out yourself and putting things in place for old age.

I'm not at all sympathetic to that belief about being nice just because I want to be taken care of by my wife or children. Life is not so certain.

Sixfeetbelle:

Then I think this your question explains everything. It shows Ops advice is for men who knew they didn't treat their wives right and were absent in their children's life, never to men who understood family values.

You really think everything works out good & perfect for all men who 'undertood family values' yea? Lol

I'd like to know your favourite cool-aid flavour.

Unnerve:

You really think everything works out good & perfect for all men who 'undertood family values' yea? Lol

I'd like to know your favourite cool-aid flavour.

It is my thought. No apologies if it doesn't complement yours.


I've never had a cool-aid though

Sixfeetbelle:


It is my thought.

I've never had a cool-aid though

So the simple answer is yes. You believe that every man who understood family values always enjoys old age.

Okay.

These men mostly treated their wives badly. Rather than sleep at home, they sleep around. They beat their wives in their kids presence.
The kids saw their mom tears Everytime. They came back from school and caught their father with one of his sidechics.

The society told the wives "focus on your kids, ignore him"
These women devoted their lives to their kids. They were involved in every aspect of their children lives.

When baba turned fifty/sixty plus, he retired from his whoring. The kids are grown already, living comfortable lives. Baba is back forming "man of the house"
The kids be like "come to the UK, don't let Daddy kill you with his wahala"

The scenario I painted is real. I know too many families like that.

LordKO:
The advice is only suitable for men who have dysfunctional homes or those who hope to have dysfunctional homes.

The biggest dummy ever sold to this wannabe woke generation is that human beings are inherently self-absorbing and that individually one needs to remain self-absorbing in order to be safe and prosperous. Well, what's true is that human beings are inherently just and need to take to conscientiousness in order to remain safe, prosperous and fair.

As a man, and by extension husband and father, bulk of the family functionality or otherwise of it lies on your desk. Strive to conquer yourself without striving to conquer others, and love others without hating yourself.

Working based on the postulation above, the onus is on you to be conscientious, marry a conscientious woman and be the best you can be to her manifesting it through your altruistic actions and equally be the best you can be to your offspring manifesting it through your altruistic actions too - reciprocation from them will be automatic. If the wife, however, one day decides to join Woke-Christian gang, a single bullet or something similar can do the magic.

The golden rule is sacrosanct.

Love this apart from the bullet part.

Aim to be a good husband and father and you will be rewarded.

Greatzeus:
This is so true. But some men are real men so they value their fathers like anything. Last week,a big shot banker in Lagos bought a house for his dad in somolu, renovated it and contracted us to install inverter for his dad. I was so impressed when I entered the building,the Spirit of his dad will keep praying for him till he dies.

His father added value to his life growing up.

You reap what you sow.

If your kids do not know you or experience love from you as a father - you are hardening thier heart and will reap it.

Pay school fees, teach your children, embrace them, take them out, play with them, talk t them, teach them the child of who they are - that is your values.

Remember the 3 circle of life - In the morning you sow into them and decide what school they will go to - at night they will decide where you will live.

Give them good schools, empower them so they can choose well for you at night.

No matter how much money you have in old age - you need you kids. Be good to them. Geniune love!

it depends on the kind of wife you marry. I once told my mum"look maami, no matter what you say, my father remains my father, and as long as I'm alive my father will not suffer, I will take care of both of you, pls do not expect me taking care of you and neglecting my dad, I can NEVER do that unless I'm charmed"cursed"
On the day I made this statement, I had a terrible nightmare, which I'm afraid of even telling my confidant! it's really terrible and it had to with my dam and me.

LordKO:
The advice is only suitable for men who have dysfunctional homes or those who hope to have dysfunctional homes.

The biggest dummy ever sold to this wannabe woke generation is that human beings are inherently self-absorbing and that, individually, one needs to remain self-absorbing in order to be safe and prosperous. Well, what's true is that human beings are inherently just and need to take to conscientiousness in order to remain safe, prosperous and fair.

As a man, and by extension husband and father, bulk of the family functionality or otherwise of it lies on your desk. Strive to conquer yourself without striving to conquer others and love others without hating yourself.

Working based on the postulation above, the onus is on you to be conscientious, marry a conscientious woman and be the best you can be to her manifesting it through your altruistic actions and equally be the best you can be to your offspring manifesting it through your altruistic actions too - reciprocation from them will be automatic. If the wife, however, one day decides to join Woke-Christian gang, a single bullet or something similar can do the magic.

The golden rule is sacrosanct.

Very true.

Some men don't understand that it is the love(the sacrificing one) you pour into a woman, your children that you'll get back. They think if they treat their wife like shit, use money for their children school fees to carry women and leave their wives to carry the heavy burden of the entire household that they are still entitled to be taken care of in their old age, or the small change they'll have that time will save them.

It's only the wife of your youth that'll pack your shit with no complaints given.

Money can never buy it.

Men who live a life of responsibility to their family, Treat their wife with love,assigning her honour as though a weaker vessel, present in the life of their children as a father rightly should might not be travelling over the world for omo- ugwo but they are rarely neglected.their account balance will show it, the love from the wife when he needs it the most will attest to it.