tobechi20:


supported.
but.like u said, religion no go free us. Emir Sanusi was attacked for advicing his people on reducing child birth.
China had to reduce child birth before their economy grew rapidly

LadySarah:


Emir Sanusi should practice what he teaches. Uptil last yr he welcomed a baby. How will he teach others when he himself has over 10 children.

The ideal thing should be if a partner is alone, can you take care of your kids?

Ppl should birth children one partner can take care of. Death, jobloss, war, bad health could make one partner being the sole provider.

Women are the major victims with most being housewives or low income earners.
It increases the venerability of children.

I was at a health center when an obviously unhappy woman with 3 children told me she came for family planning only to be told her husband was needed. Her husband on the other hand had warned her not to get any fp.

ALOT of work will be done before Nigeria will move a step.

Anon9191:



this is really sad. if the woman is kind of those people who have difficult pregnancies that wreck havoc on their body, married to someone who isn't educated on matters like these, will she be forced to keep undergoing hard pregnancies till the worse happens? I've known instances where the woman sneaks off to get her birth control as she couldn't cope with everything. She is trying to raise her daughters now to make better choices. the thing is, even birth control isn't a one size fits all. imagine having to keep trying different ones till you find the type that doesn't drive you crazy with its side effects all the while trying not to be found out by your husband.

tobechi20:


This is gamble. What if the child does not change your life overnight? he will be forces to suffer with d parent.

This is a terrible mindset worse than sport betting

Klass99:


Lol, leave my Emir Sanusi alone I like that nigga.

I share the same thoughts/sentiments you've expressed here.

However, on women being the major victims I disagree. They are mostly the cause of their problems because they are the ones who agitate and clamour for more kids, than men do.

While a sensible man looks at the financial implications of having more children, a woman only cares about another child she can cuddle and who will keep her company, when the older ones are in boarding school or have left the nest as a whole. I usually wonder, don't you have any hobbies, dreams or goals, besides this?

Men who pay the bills and do right by their families, know where the shoe pinches BUT women who don't pay the bills or have never had to pay a bill in their lives, probably because they moved straight from daddy's house to hubby's house are the ones who want to lay children like eggs.

They (such women) only feel the impact of their choices when a spouse dies, becomes jobless or loses his health and they are forced to become the sole provider. That is when it dawns on them, that 2 kids would have been easier and better to manage, than 4 kids.

Some of these women don't even pity themselves or the changes their bodies go through. I saw one of my classmates recently and didn't recognize her, child birth has completely transformed her into someone else. It's more of a transfiguration than transformation sef, the shock was visible on my face. I tried not to show it but I was too shook to not show it.

LadySarah:


Emir Sanusi should practice what he teaches. Uptil last yr he welcomed a baby. How will he teach others when he himself has over 10 children.

The ideal thing should be if a partner is alone, can you take care of your kids?

Ppl should birth children one partner can take care of. Death, jobloss, war, bad health could make one partner being the sole provider.

Women are the major victims with most being housewives or low income earners.
It increases the venerability of children.

I was at a health center when an obviously unhappy woman with 3 children told me she came for family planning only to be told her husband was needed. Her husband on the other hand had warned her not to get any fp.

ALOT of work will be done before Nigeria will move a step.

DonGenovese:
This thread mirrors my state of mind. I do have a wonderful Son and I'm frankly very happy with just him but Wifey has been reiterating it per sec ond that we need to try for a second Child, though I have rebuffed the idea for some time but she is now more than determined to have it as our son just clocked 4. I have used the outbreak of Covid19 as a valid reason for us to wait that the uncertainty in the world vis a vis the challenges on both the economy and the healthcare system but she's adamant. She has accused me of being selfish because prior to our marriage we agreed to 3 kids but though I said 2, but I'm reneging on that and not ready to try for a second Child.Oboy, the matter don tire me, I swear if my JT is itching for some activity and she ties the sex to trying for a child, my JT would just lie fallow and go back to sleep. Finance isn't really an issue for us now cause our jobs are still available and we both have a fairly good Savings. But me personally don't want to go through the stress of child birth again, the worries, health scares etc especially this period. I really wish there was Injections or drugs men could take to prevent them from pregnanting a woman, I have thought of Vasectomy but the likelihood that before the healing process I would be found out and it can destroy our marriage has made me jettison the idea.

Anon9191:


damn. this is a difficult situation to be in. there's this sub on Reddit (oneanddone) that's about parents of only one kid. I lurk there sometimes because I think it's cool what they post. occasionally there will be complaints like yours. maybe there's a suggestion there that might help.
try talking to her again. let her know it's affecting you too. listen to her, don't stop her when she's talking, let her bare her heart. some women miss that infant stage when the baby is still small and watching them take all their first strides. when you listen and let her talk, empathize with her and also share your own side. I understand that it is better to have one and give that one the best chance you can, than have two or more and not a good education or upbringing, etc. at the end though, when there's better understanding between you two, you can then decide on what new steps to take out compromises to make. you two can get through this. Pele.

DonGenovese:

Thanks for your insight to my cross.. Her mind is made-up, I just don't feel up for it. Only Science can come to my rescue now, develop a drug, I can take that would prevent me from 'scoring goal', I just want to be shooting over the bar....

CHoccolaTE:
Thanks for this thread OP, majority of Nigerians are very traditional and will not understand the point you are trying to make, you see people who are struggling to feed having 3 or 4 kids, I knew a woman like that who gave birth to four girls and was trying to get pregnant again because her jobless husband wanted a Male child, they could not pay houserent anymore because of expenses and they had to relocate to outskirts of town into a smaller house.

Nisland:
why is always common on nigerian.if they're looking for male child or female they will be pregnant till when it's reach amount of children they will not take care.

CHoccolaTE:


It's better you unfollow me because I write a lot of anti Male posts.

mutter:
So having children is for the rich?
Do you know that rich people don't necessarily produce the best children.

tobechi20:
This question is specifically for those who do not like their current condition.

You know this society is not working. you are managing to exist. eating from hand to mouth. struggling to make a living.

you find a partner in similar or worse situation like you and for love or other selfish reason, choose to get married and bring a child into this world.

A child that would be forced to struggle like you.
To use him as cheap labor in your farm ?
As a secondary source of income e.g bride price,child hawking
As bragging right among your peers?
So you can flex your authority and power on him/her


Why? so that when you get old you will guilt trip them into taking care of you with words like
" after ,bringing you into this world
after all I have done for you.

you think because you brought him to this miserable world,he owes you his life.
what did you do for him? you starved him, no tertiary education, no comfortable bed.

AF if it is compulsory for one to own a child.
do we really care for the children? do we really want them to be a part of this cruel world?
Many parent less children are praying for caregivers in orphanage homes but we do not give a damn.we want one that come from our body so we have a since of ownership

you are not happy. your partner is not happy. the society is not happy. yet we bring girth a child to share in the unhappiness.
are we not. cruel to children?