Please, I want to know if I gave her the right advice.
A friend of mine called me yesterday about a guy seeking her hand in marriage, according to her she met the guy in his office when she went to repair printer, she also said she normally quarrel him most cases when it comes to business, so one day she received a call from him that he like to meet her, He called to tell her he is in love with her that he like her kind of person and he want to marry her, she said that the guy is not even talking about starting a relationship but marriage, because according to her he said he sees her as the right girl for him then my friend told him that she is not interested, for some time she doesn't pick his call or reply his text messages. Through her boss the guy was able to locate her office, then they have one on one conversations about it... The guy said he is ready to marry her this year if she accept to marry him.
So she called me yesterday for my advise, I asked her if she like the guy she said yes but she said the problem is that the guy didn't go to school ( my friend is a graduate and she study software engineering) then I told her not to used education as a criteria to measure the guy, I said as a matter of fact she should not even bring school into the issue (I am not in anyway saying school is not useful, by the grace of God, I am a final student (Edu. Mgt Economics at Uniben) the the most important thing here is that the guy in question have something he is doing, he is not a jobless fellow, (she said he even have two stores) where as there are lots of graduate without job in the society today. So I advised her that she should accept the the guy request if (minus education) the guy is okay by her. She said ok, that she is going to accept the request.
Hope I'm not a bed advisers, did I gave her the right advise, is there anything I should also advise her about, please help, I am not a married person as a matter of fact I am not even in a relationship, that's why I went to confirm if my advise is in order.
thank for reading.

They better date and study each other first.


How can you jump from A to Z without going through the other alphabets?

Na marriage we call am o no be betnaija.

I have come to realize that a lady's wants, expectations and needs from a man goes and changes by age, reason i wouldn't wanna go further in her crave for educated men.

My advice is that you should stop convincing people into what they don't feel comfortable with when it comes to marriage, to avoid taking the blames when it backfires.

He has goals and he is making it, go for him but check his behavior.

University education is not a qualification for marriage but ability to provide and good character

No courtship and straight up to marriage??

It's no suprising that with his lack of education, he's opting straight for marriage without getting to know her. But why is she even considering??

That's very risky. She should flee.
If she's educated, then answer is pretty obvious.

Your friend is just a desperate b!tch.
Someone you never court, no dating, no friendship and she’s seeking advise either to marry him or not. Damn.
I feel for your friend in advance.

How uneducated is he?

Some uneducated husbands can be problematic
They will frustrate you and you will end up having a low self esteem thinking your education is a waste!!!

Goodluck with your choice

donstan18:
I have come to realize that a lady's wants, expectations and needs from a man goes and changes by age, reason i wouldn't wanna go further in her crave for educated men.

My advice is that you should stop convincing people into what they don't feel comfortable with when it comes to marriage, to avoid taking the blames when it backfires.

noted

You should have left her to decide. 2 story building na story. May his not being a graduate not come and hunt her.

She saw a red red flag by her standard and dictionary and she should have headed. If their relationship goes south na you.

I dey laugh like say "I go dye na im crack joke"

U advised her well

Being schooled and educated are two different things, although lots of people interchange both as if they are the same. They are not. Even if he didn't attend uni, the mere fact that he owns two stores, which implies being hardworking, and financially secure makes him a responsible man worth considering.

Secondly, lots of guys jump straight to talking about marriage just to signify that they are not time wasters. It doesn't mean he will marry her tomorrow if she agrees to date him, but probably in the foreseeable future. That's honourable and he should not be penalized for that.

A right person can not be met at the wrong time. There is no such thing as meeting the right person when you're not ready, if he is right, both of you will work things out like matured adults, compromising when necessary. All the best to your friend

no 1 it is true education is not a barrier to raising a family but common sense is a necessary ingredient to getting married

no 2 a guy mets a girl and says bae let's gets married in 6 months time( )
na to f.u.Ck ,knac.k,c.h.o.p T.ot.o na be the parole

anyway what do I know?

She should study the man very well for some months before walking down on aisle with him.
Though the certificate should not be a yardstick for marriage, education should be considered.

jawalis:
Your friend is just a desperate b!tch.
Someone you never court, no dating, no friendship and she’s seeking advise either to marry him or not. Damn.
I feel for your friend in advance.

she is not desperate, she turn down two marriage proposal last year, she is just trying to be careful

donstan18:
I have come to realize that a lady's wants, expectations and needs from a man goes and changes by age, reason i wouldn't wanna go further in her crave for educated men.

My advice is that you should stop convincing people into what they don't feel comfortable with when it comes to marriage, to avoid taking the blames when it backfires.

Its her choice if she doesn't like him cause he is uneducated she has a right to say no.

Irijosa777:
Please, I want to know if I gave her the right advice.
A friend of mine called me yesterday about a guy seeking her hand in marriage, according to her she met the guy in his office when she went to repair printer, she also said she normally quarrel him most cases when it comes to business, so one day she received a call from him that he like to meet her, He called to tell her he is in love with her that he like her kind of person and he want to marry her, she said that the guy is not even talking about starting a relationship but marriage, because according to her he said he sees her as the right girl for him then my friend told him that she is not interested, for some time she doesn't pick his call or reply his text messages. Through her boss the guy was able to locate her office, then they have one on one conversations about it... The guy said he is ready to marry her this year if she accept to marry him.
So she called me yesterday for my advise, I asked her if she like the guy she said yes but she said the problem is that the guy didn't go to school ( my friend is a graduate and she study software engineering) then I told her not to used education as a criteria to measure the guy, I said as a matter of fact she should not even bring school into the issue (I am not in anyway saying school is not useful, by the grace of God, I am a final student (Edu. Mgt Economics at Uniben) the the most important thing here is that the guy in question have something he is doing, he is not a jobless fellow, (she said he even have two stores) where as there are lots of graduate without job in the society today. So I advised her that she should accept the the guy request if (minus education) the guy is okay by her. She said ok, that she is going to accept the request.
Hope I'm not a bed advisers, did I gave her the right advise, is there anything I should also advise her about, please help, I am not a married person as a matter of fact I am not even in a relationship, that's why I went to confirm if my advise is in order.
thank for reading.

Bro in my opinion, you shouldn't have answered her at all.
It wasn't fair of her to ask you to decide for her whether or not to accept the guy, the reason being that, if you had told her no and the guy eventually becomes successful in future she would put the blame on you. Likewise, now that you have told her to accept him if their marriage goes south you would bear the brunt.


The lesson here is that you're not supposed to answer people when they ask you questions like that because most of the time they don't want a clear answer. They just want someone to blame in case the decision is wrong.


All in all I think you should call her and explain to her that she should only take the decision SHE feels is right.

Hope this helped

Most Nigerians erroneously believe that anyone who is fortunate to find himself or herself in tertiary institution is automatically "educated." This is completely false and shows the artificialness of our society as a former colonial territory and a cardinal member of the third world countries. We have made it to look like tertiary degree, and not basic education, is what is needed by anyone to function properly and become productive members of the society. Secondary school education is called "Basic Education" for a reason.

But marriage is a different ball game, and a lot people approach it with to-do- list. There is nothing wrong in insisting on marrying someone with tertiary degree or education, even though it is not credible judge of character. It doesn't mean that someone without it is uneducated, it is just that they didn't attend tertiary institution.

Fastestmanalive:



Bro in my opinion, you shouldn't have answered her at all.
It wasn't fair of her to ask you to decide for her whether or not to accept the guy, the reason being that, if you had told her no and the guy eventually becomes successful in future she would put the blame on you. Likewise, now that you have told her to accept him if their marriage goes south you would bear the brunt.


The lesson here is that you're not supposed to answer people when they ask you questions like that because most of the time they don't want a clear answer. They just want someone to blame in case the decision is wrong.


All in all I think you should call her and explain to her that she should only take the decision SHE feels is right.

Hope this helped

yes sir
noted
thanks for your advise

mrblessed:
Most Nigerians erroneously believe that anyone who is fortunate to find himself or herself in tertiary institution is automatically "educated." This is completely false and shows the artificialness of our society as a former colonial territory and a cardinal member of the third world countries. We have made it to look like tertiary degree, and not basic education, is what is needed by anyone to function properly and become productive members of the society. Secondary school education is called "Basic Education" for a reason.

But marriage is a different ball game, and a lot people approach it with to-do- list. There is nothing wrong in insisting on marrying someone with tertiary degree or education, even though it is not credible judge of character. It doesn't mean that someone without it is uneducated, it is just that they didn't attend tertiary institution.

okay
thanks for your contribution

Irijosa777:
Please, I want to know if I gave her the right advice.
A friend of mine called me yesterday about a guy seeking her hand in marriage, according to her she met the guy in his office when she went to repair printer, she also said she normally quarrel him most cases when it comes to business, so one day she received a call from him that he like to meet her, He called to tell her he is in love with her that he like her kind of person and he want to marry her, she said that the guy is not even talking about starting a relationship but marriage, because according to her he said he sees her as the right girl for him then my friend told him that she is not interested, for some time she doesn't pick his call or reply his text messages. Through her boss the guy was able to locate her office, then they have one on one conversations about it... The guy said he is ready to marry her this year if she accept to marry him.
So she called me yesterday for my advise, I asked her if she like the guy she said yes but she said the problem is that the guy didn't go to school ( my friend is a graduate and she study software engineering) then I told her not to used education as a criteria to measure the guy, I said as a matter of fact she should not even bring school into the issue (I am not in anyway saying school is not useful, by the grace of God, I am a final student (Edu. Mgt Economics at Uniben) the the most important thing here is that the guy in question have something he is doing, he is not a jobless fellow, (she said he even have two stores) where as there are lots of graduate without job in the society today. So I advised her that she should accept the the guy request if (minus education) the guy is okay by her. She said ok, that she is going to accept the request.
Hope I'm not a bed advisers, did I gave her the right advise, is there anything I should also advise her about, please help, I am not a married person as a matter of fact I am not even in a relationship, that's why I went to confirm if my advise is in order.
thank for reading.

The issue of class will always bring its ugly head later on. Telling her to ignore an issue she is seriously considering is not a wise idea. She is insecure about the guys education and I will conclude that she shouldn’t accept any proposal until she get to conviction of looking above it.

Secondly the guy is bold but just heading for marriage should make the girl step backward alittle. Jump in you jump out.

I drop my pen

stanliwise:

The issue of class will always bring its ugly head later on. Telling her to ignore an issue she is seriously considering is not a wise idea. She is insecure about the guys education and I will conclude that she shouldn’t accept any proposal until she get to conviction of looking above it.

Secondly the guy is bold but just heading for marriage should make the girl step backward alittle. Jump in you jump out.

I drop my pen

You are not just intelligent but u are also matured.Truth be told, the issue of class I swear will surely set in.

Yes, education is not a yard stick to a happy home but menh marrying an uneducated man will cause trouble someday. He will always feel because he is not educated that is why the lady is taking him for granted; he will always feel his ego is being bruised. Anyways I won't blame you because you advised her base on the little experience you have; but I swear the marriage might not last most especially when it has to do with ego.
NOTE: THEIR IS A BIG DIFF BLW AND EDUCATED PERSON AND AN ILLITERATE

gunners160:


You are not just intelligent but u are also matured.Truth be told, the issue of class I swear will surely set in.

Yes, education is not a yard stick to a happy home but menh marrying an uneducated man will cause trouble someday. He will always feel because he is not educated that is why the lady is taking him for granted; he will always feel his ego is being bruised. Anyways I won't blame you because you advised her base on the little experience you have; but I swear the marriage might not last most especially when it has to do with ego.
NOTE: THEIR IS A BIG DIFF BLW AND EDUCATED PERSON AND AN ILLITERATE

Exactly. And to make issue more unclear OP Said he asked her if she like the guy and she said yes. Liking a person isn’t enough reason for commitment. The girl has to be able to pin point strongly what she likes about him that will make her take the decision of marriage with him. But this education and all is just enough reason to a pointer that things will likely not work out.

stanliwise:

The issue of class will always bring its ugly head later on. Telling her to ignore an issue she is seriously considering is not a wise idea. She is insecure about the guys education and I will conclude that she shouldn’t accept any proposal until she get to conviction of looking above it.

Secondly the guy is bold but just heading for marriage should make the girl step backward alittle. Jump in you jump out.

I drop my pen

noted
thanks

gunners160:


You are not just intelligent but u are also matured.Truth be told, the issue of class I swear will surely set in.

Yes, education is not a yard stick to a happy home but menh marrying an uneducated man will cause trouble someday. He will always feel because he is not educated that is why the lady is taking him for granted; he will always feel his ego is being bruised. Anyways I won't blame you because you advised her base on the little experience you have; but I swear the marriage might not last most especially when it has to do with ego.
NOTE: THEIR IS A BIG DIFF BLW AND EDUCATED PERSON AND AN ILLITERATE

ok sir
I appreciate your contribution
thanks