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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / How Guys Use Marriage To Plunge Themselves Into Perpetual Poverty. (75569 Views)
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How Guys Use Marriage To Plunge Themselves Into Perpetual Poverty. by Poseidon000: 3:59pm On Jul 19, 2020 |
Sup guys. I've something that have always earned the acme of my discountenance. And that's how men crudely jump into marriage in other to conform to societal dictate or for some selfish satisfaction. This have gotten me pensive and I'll make no ado in getting to the nucleus of the issue. Yesterday, I was headed toward gwarimpa, and on my way I noticed a disheveled young guy around Efab estate trekking by the express. As a rule, I always give such guys 'lift,' because i was once with a female colleague in a lonely path that seldom have cars coming our way, suddenly one private car stopped and when I tried entering after my female colleague boarded, the SIMPson bounced me out and zoomed off with an empty back seat. That incident birthed in me a sense of solidarity and understanding of what men go through just for being men, but yesterday, I was so incensed by a botch job my mechanic did that I drove past. After about 4 hours when I had everything sorted and was heading back, I saw the same guy heading toward my direction again(it's a dual carriage way) and he was sweating profusely, so I beckoned on him to enter. We got talking and I inquired why he's trekking such a long distance. He said: he went to look for a job that wasn't successful and he's going back to Arab road. But this is just a miniscule of the guy's travail. He grew up in abject poverty.In fact, they gave birth to him and his sister in an uncompleted building. His dad died in that building, his sister got pregnant for some riffraff and they started what we call "abuja marriage", his mom subsequently fell sick and died in the same uncompleted building. Then the owner of the building decided to complete it, and drove him away. Now, this guy was able to get another uncompleted building to stay, and as I'm typing this, he's with wife and kids. This is a person that don't have food at home and can not afford N150 to and fro. I gave him 10k but I was so mad with him; I mean, I was disconcertingly appalled that this guy will think of marriage in his privation. Why not be a little bit comfortable before considering marriage, instead to face life with the dignity of a breadline. Sadly, this is the same mistake lot of guy's have been making thinking they'll fall into some stupendous money as soon as they marry, and this is mostly perpetuated by religious charlatans who say; a man's destiny is predicated on his future wife, that as soon as he gets married, the special blessing tied to marriage will start opening way for him. That's a mendacious twaddle that will leave you in a precarious situation. Please guys, have 'comfort' afoot before you dabble into marriage. What's your take on this? 1211 Likes 129 Shares |
Re: How Guys Use Marriage To Plunge Themselves Into Perpetual Poverty. by decatalyst(m): 4:02pm On Jul 19, 2020 |
Poseidon000: 1. Thank you for lending help to that frustrated man and for at least alleviating his misery for a few days with the 10k. 2. Someone can be a victim of circumstance and choose to remain a victim of the circumstance or jakpa from it! Like the common saying 'how does a poor man manage to have erection...even sustained enough to donate a baby'? 3. Clearly, the man is not living a purposeful life, neither does he have any plan to change his fortune. How can you go ahead and marry/cohabit with a lady that will largely depend on you, in that present state? Why should they choose to add or compound their misery by having a baby in that state? Gosh! No iota of reasoning! 4. As for yielding to some hogwash acceptable societal teachings of "there is blessing in marriage" is utter nonsense! Lemme use the word of this dude on Nairaland "a real niggerr" takes charge of his life and decides which way/path he want to follow. He is simply not a man! The child should demand for "accountability" when he/she is grown! ![]() 383 Likes 23 Shares |
Re: How Guys Use Marriage To Plunge Themselves Into Perpetual Poverty. by decatalyst(m): 4:04pm On Jul 19, 2020 |
Poseidon000: You are a good man for having solidarity with men! We have suffered from each other... A man will decide to help the one with two holes rather than assist both when presented with the option. 325 Likes 12 Shares |
Re: How Guys Use Marriage To Plunge Themselves Into Perpetual Poverty. by thesicilian: 4:04pm On Jul 19, 2020 |
Life is never black and white, there are many grey areas. Some marriages actually bring good fortune in terms of opportunities, but that's usually when you get married to someone from a higher social class, or at least someone with vision and ambition, not a chronic liability. 622 Likes 33 Shares |
Re: How Guys Use Marriage To Plunge Themselves Into Perpetual Poverty. by chinchonglee(m): 4:11pm On Jul 19, 2020 |
Dnt mind dem... The "grow together" crew will come for you 124 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: How Guys Use Marriage To Plunge Themselves Into Perpetual Poverty. by MJBOLT: 4:12pm On Jul 19, 2020 |
sweetbuns,what do you have to say? ![]() 6 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: How Guys Use Marriage To Plunge Themselves Into Perpetual Poverty. by kestolove95(m): 4:15pm On Jul 19, 2020 |
Don't blame them, they wia brainwashed by the lies in the Bible dat says "he who find a wife has found a good thing and obtain favour from the Lord" that is the favour his obtaining from d Lord now.. 113 Likes 10 Shares |
Re: How Guys Use Marriage To Plunge Themselves Into Perpetual Poverty. by FuerzA: 4:16pm On Jul 19, 2020 |
One of the essentials marriage should be predicated upon is some degree of financial ease/freedom. Ignoring this switches marriage to carriage. Nna, how do you develop and sustain feelings with a hollow pocket ![]() 41 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: How Guys Use Marriage To Plunge Themselves Into Perpetual Poverty. by Poseidon000: 4:23pm On Jul 19, 2020 |
decatalyst:Lol. Baba, when i was coming up as a lad. I had a clique with so much ambition. The brightest and most handsome among us jumped into marriage with nothing palpable to sustain him. Now, he's a shadow of himself subsisting on the magnanimity of our group and the little he can muster for himself. When I look at him now, I begin to wonder if he's the same bright lad that earned our awe and we looked up to. The dude is looking like my father now. Quite painful, because he profligates also(not wise with money). Planning is the key. You're on point, bro. 256 Likes 13 Shares |
Re: How Guys Use Marriage To Plunge Themselves Into Perpetual Poverty. by Ugaboy: 4:23pm On Jul 19, 2020 |
How can u be poor and still interested in a woman that will solely depend on you. Marriage is not a poverty alleviation scheme, that when u tend to be open to more responsibilities than just being a single guy. may GOD take him out of his poverty state. I.J.N 78 Likes 5 Shares |
Re: How Guys Use Marriage To Plunge Themselves Into Perpetual Poverty. by Nobody: 4:26pm On Jul 19, 2020 |
One mistake can take a life time. 55 Likes 4 Shares
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Re: How Guys Use Marriage To Plunge Themselves Into Perpetual Poverty. by UDUJ(m): 4:27pm On Jul 19, 2020 |
Poseidon000: I took the time to read through and I must say I am impressed. I hold a similar line of thought that frowns at how young men are pushed into marriages they never wanted in the first place just because they want to succumb to societal dictates. Sadly it's so prevalent in this part of the world. 175 Likes 8 Shares |
Re: How Guys Use Marriage To Plunge Themselves Into Perpetual Poverty. by Ugaboy: 4:27pm On Jul 19, 2020 |
kestolove95:people like this dont have enough sense. I swear. 75 Likes 7 Shares |
Re: How Guys Use Marriage To Plunge Themselves Into Perpetual Poverty. by Poseidon000: 4:37pm On Jul 19, 2020 |
thesicilian:You're correct, but if we should put it into perspective; such scenario happen 1/10. That's on the infinitesimal. Would you build your future on a precarious foundation? 61 Likes 5 Shares |
Re: How Guys Use Marriage To Plunge Themselves Into Perpetual Poverty. by Lordswazz(m): 4:38pm On Jul 19, 2020 |
Poseidon000:Poor people often make that mistake. It's almost like they find solace in the thought that even in their misery, they have something they "own" or have "achieved", which is that poverty-battered woman and child(ren) that they've deliberately ushered into their world of lack and colossal suffering. Even if you want to believe a stupid gamble that's stacked against you 10-to-1 that marriage will automatically open doors for your financial breakthrough, why not put off giving birth until those "hoped-for" breakthroughs begin rolling in? I've never seen a poor couple who stayed without having kids 3 years post-marriage, except the lady hasn't just been able to take in naturally. People of means sometimes decide to stay 3-5 years after marriage just to enjoy the companionship of each other before deciding to give birth; but for the poor, it's like a curse (and na them born pass sef). I won't even be surprised if they don't know what family planning is, and that it's cheap, and even free in some healthcare centers. 225 Likes 24 Shares |
Re: How Guys Use Marriage To Plunge Themselves Into Perpetual Poverty. by Poseidon000: 4:53pm On Jul 19, 2020 |
UDUJ:Yes, but i think people have influence over our life as much as we're willing to give them. They can only gore you on, but will not be there to bear the brunt with you. So, why be complicit with people pushing you to debacle? It's better to marry at your own time and pace, irrespective of age. 57 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: How Guys Use Marriage To Plunge Themselves Into Perpetual Poverty. by WYMAN(m): 5:00pm On Jul 19, 2020 |
I totally agree with you. Lot of guys need to see this. Mynd44, lalasticlala, Dominique, seun 16 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: How Guys Use Marriage To Plunge Themselves Into Perpetual Poverty. by merieam16(f): 5:01pm On Jul 19, 2020 |
Okay buh d truth is d poor will always b among u. at least u helped out dat wat matters You can choose 2 remain poor by nt doubling ur hustle buh der some people hustle or no hustle dey er destined 2 b poor.Not everytime u see a poor person nd u say he or she is lazy or hasnt taken steps buh time nd chance happen 2 dem all. They will still av 2 get married nd do wat oda people do cos dey are still humans ti o ban ri se, ma se pe padi e lo lè 163 Likes 11 Shares |
Re: How Guys Use Marriage To Plunge Themselves Into Perpetual Poverty. by thesicilian: 5:01pm On Jul 19, 2020 |
Poseidon000:Of course not. Your question itself assumes that I am (deliberately) building my future. With a sense of direction and purpose. But for many people it's not that simple. While some are actively praying for "destiny helpers" while doing nothing, others are just floating aimlessly through life like an object on the high sea. Though one may posit (and rightly so) that no one should take up the 'burden' of marriage without a solid means of sustenance, we can't also ignore the fact that for many of these 'less privileged' people, family is all they have and can hope to have at least in the nearest foreseeable future. And on a lighter note, many of them seem to be very fertile, ![]() 71 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: How Guys Use Marriage To Plunge Themselves Into Perpetual Poverty. by CAPSLOCKED: 5:10pm On Jul 19, 2020 |
Poseidon000: NORMAL LEVELS. MEN CAN EVEN SELL THEIR BIRTHRIGHTS JUST TO GET A BALL RUB. ![]() 25 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: How Guys Use Marriage To Plunge Themselves Into Perpetual Poverty. by Nobody: 5:13pm On Jul 19, 2020 |
It's quite unfortunate. Poor men tend to take solace in sex and in most cases, unprotected sex. This results in starting unplanned families and the poverty recycles. 72 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: How Guys Use Marriage To Plunge Themselves Into Perpetual Poverty. by Fidelismaria: 5:16pm On Jul 19, 2020 |
I'm with you bro I 100% concur with everything you wrote up there marriage in this age and time is scam 20 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: How Guys Use Marriage To Plunge Themselves Into Perpetual Poverty. by Poseidon000: 5:26pm On Jul 19, 2020 |
thesicilian:Nah. ![]() ![]() The truth is that, the men usually end up thinking about their life like this. 94 Likes 5 Shares
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Re: How Guys Use Marriage To Plunge Themselves Into Perpetual Poverty. by Nezero(m): 5:29pm On Jul 19, 2020 |
Poseidon000: This is fantastic 129 Likes 9 Shares |
Re: How Guys Use Marriage To Plunge Themselves Into Perpetual Poverty. by harsysky(m): 5:37pm On Jul 19, 2020 |
Life is a risk. like a reader commented up there, time and chance happen to people whether you choose to up your game or you choose to marry when not buoyant. If I had not seen a poor man who rose to wealth , and a wealthy man who became poor, I would certainly think a man has 100% influence on how their lives go . The overall advice would be to have a source of income before dabbling into marriage, then get other sources of income to complement whatever cometh. At all times, pray without ceasing because real wealth isn't made, it is inherited from anybody. Take a look at majority of those who are billionaires, you would agree with me that they never believed they would be what they are now. If we all understand the way things work in this world, which isn't possible, we will be able to predict the future. Is there anyone who is a liability? No. it's a matter of meeting someone whom God has given the ability to unlock that passion in you. I have seen and learned a lot in just a lil amount of time. The most striking knowledge is to never , ever look down on anyone even if they are foolish. Just like the saying, " what doesn't kill one, makes one stronger". I'm stronger for all I have seen and learned. I go all the way opposite of what majority think is best because I have this sole belief that God is both the producer and director of what we are living on here--the earth. A lot of rules here and there to even make one think that following all the rules could make you live longer than Methuselah, but it is all wash. Enjoy what ever time you have in this world, and never judge those you think you are better than. Never lean on your own understanding. 160 Likes 16 Shares |
Re: How Guys Use Marriage To Plunge Themselves Into Perpetual Poverty. by Poseidon000: 5:44pm On Jul 19, 2020 |
CAPSLOCKED:Lol ![]() I trekked mile's that day, because I didn't get a car and it was already late on a path that usually have ritual kidnapping. I don't have the capacity to bear grudge, but if I have that guy at my mercy, I'll collect my own pound of flesh trifold. Some guys are mindlessly stupid when they see women. 138 Likes 9 Shares |
Re: How Guys Use Marriage To Plunge Themselves Into Perpetual Poverty. by Sisijetue(f): 5:44pm On Jul 19, 2020 |
Kindly increase the volume pls 6 Likes |
Re: How Guys Use Marriage To Plunge Themselves Into Perpetual Poverty. by Poseidon000: 5:59pm On Jul 19, 2020 |
Lordswazz: So much sense in your post. Respect! 15 Likes 1 Share |
Re: How Guys Use Marriage To Plunge Themselves Into Perpetual Poverty. by ublight: 6:08pm On Jul 19, 2020 |
that guys grand parents were not paying tithes to a certain mininstry. His parents too were not paying tithes to that certain ministry. If this guy wants his life to transform, let him start paying tithes to that certain ministry. I believe his life is tight because he does nt pay tithe. Please be sure u have sense b4 u quote me. Ensure u know d meaning of satire 21 Likes 1 Share |
Re: How Guys Use Marriage To Plunge Themselves Into Perpetual Poverty. by Purplekush(m): 6:25pm On Jul 19, 2020 |
Mind how you give strangers lifts. A real niggarr with a .9mm or a Berretta could change the ownership of that ride without signing papers 64 Likes 7 Shares |
Re: How Guys Use Marriage To Plunge Themselves Into Perpetual Poverty. by Nobody: 6:40pm On Jul 19, 2020 |
kestolove95:You mumu oo. Must you bring religion into this?. Does the topic or the situation applies only to Christain?. Why must you quote the Bible?. And this practices is rampant among you Mumuslims, especially the Northern part of this failed country. Your god "Mohammed too, during his lifetime,he impregnated a lotta young and underage girls while leaving in poverty, before he was sent back into the pit of hell, which is where his followers too will be heading too, sooner or later. If we check you now, na one yeye and mumu man marry you put for house. Both of you will be totally useless to your families, nothing to show at all .Nonsense and ingredients. 65 Likes 9 Shares |
Re: How Guys Use Marriage To Plunge Themselves Into Perpetual Poverty. by Nobody: 6:41pm On Jul 19, 2020 |
Kestolove95 wey no get sense, ewu gambia. 18 Likes 1 Share |
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