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Most Fathers Today Are Losing Relevance In The Family - Family (2) - Nairaland

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Re: Most Fathers Today Are Losing Relevance In The Family by TonyeBarcanista(m): 6:20pm On Jul 19, 2020
ImaIma1:
I disagree.

A lot of fathers in recent times make efforts to be part of their children's lives...making memories and all.

Just going to the supermarket, I see fathers with the children without the mothers. Even my husband has taken our daughter to parties I couldn't attend on his own.

Being close to your children or not is a personal thing and a choice.

I have even heard of a father who travelled to help out his daughter when she gave birth. Their mum was late and the man was quite close to his children.

The issue for some men is that they feel too big or believe they cannot bring themselves so low to do some things. Imagine going to help your daughter after she puts to bed. How many men here see themselves doing that?
Typical of your kind.

So you expect a man that is supposed to be hustling to abandon his job or businesses to go and do Omugwo? You people's agenda to relegate the fathers will never work.

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Re: Most Fathers Today Are Losing Relevance In The Family by Kaypols(f): 6:37pm On Jul 19, 2020
most of you guys are not getting the message.

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Re: Most Fathers Today Are Losing Relevance In The Family by ImaIma1(f): 6:42pm On Jul 19, 2020
TonyeBarcanista:

Typical of your kind.

So you expect a man that is supposed to be hustling to abandon his job or businesses to go and do Omugwo? You people's agenda to relegate the fathers will never work.


Typical of your kind to jump, heap first, into conclusions and try to use your words to belittle others.

Is it only going to omugwo that makes a father a good one?

The ones that have the time to go, is it wrong?

That is all you saw and decided to pounce on it. If you cannot see beyond your own preconceived notions and prejudice, please take a walk and cool off.

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Re: Most Fathers Today Are Losing Relevance In The Family by ImaIma1(f): 6:50pm On Jul 19, 2020
We keep hearing this "a man goes out and toils and brings money in" mantra. And that is supposed to be the excuse for not being close to ths children.

Unfortunately, that was in the "olden" days. Both husband and wife are out toiling these days. It doesn't still give the woman the excuse not to be close to the children.

Making the decision to spend time and draw the kids close to you is a choice. A man can be the one at home morning till night everyday while the woman goes and brings in the money, and she will still be closer to the children. Or the other way round.

Everything on this forum is a gender war sha.

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Re: Most Fathers Today Are Losing Relevance In The Family by ImaIma1(f): 6:59pm On Jul 19, 2020
Kaypols:
most of you guys are not getting the message.



Instead they getting defensive and blowing hot.

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: Most Fathers Today Are Losing Relevance In The Family by TonyeBarcanista(m): 7:24pm On Jul 19, 2020
[s]
ImaIma1:


Typical of your kind to jump, heap first, into conclusions and try to use your words to belittle others.

Is it only going to omugwo that makes a father a good one?

The ones that have the time to go, is it wrong?

That is all you saw and decided to pounce on it. If you cannot see beyond your own preconceived notions and prejudice, please take a walk and cool off.
[/s]
What do you expect him to do? As long as a man provides, protect, leads and defends his household, he has done enough.

Kiss the truth

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Re: Most Fathers Today Are Losing Relevance In The Family by TonyeBarcanista(m): 7:25pm On Jul 19, 2020
Kaypols:
most of you guys are not getting the message.

This is because you have no idea what it takes to be a man and father.

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Re: Most Fathers Today Are Losing Relevance In The Family by ImaIma1(f): 7:50pm On Jul 19, 2020
TonyeBarcanista:
[s][/s]
What do you expect him to do? As long as a man provides, protect, leads and defends his household, he has done enough.

Kiss the truth


You don't read to understand. You seem to read blindly with your own ideas in your head. Or you are just prejudiced towards women.

And you need to stop this Nairaland childish act of cancelling what you don't agree with. It doesn't change my comment and it doesn't make you seem smart.

As long as you believe protecting, leading, defending and providing is enough for you, kiss your truth yourself.

14 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Most Fathers Today Are Losing Relevance In The Family by xynerise: 8:25pm On Jul 19, 2020
TonyeBarcanista:
[s][/s]
My brother, a father's primary responsibility is to provide for his family. He toils, suffers and struggles to achieve that. This is in addition to provide care for the wife and kids and overall leadership.

A mother's primary responsibility is to care for the husband and kids, take care of home front and do any other responsibility assigned to her by the husband/father (feminists should go and die)

You can't expect a father to relegate his responsibility to be competing for attention of the children with the mother.

In fact, it is okay for children to be praising their mother as long as they, alongside their mother, acknowledge their father and are loyal to his authority. It is a welcome development!

When they are grown up they will realise their father's sacrifice!

For my family, we recognise both the sacrifices of our parents and always acknowledge them. As an adult male, I appreciates my father even more...

And cancelling my post supposed to make you the smart and right one?

You want everyone to agree with your opinion?

7 Likes

Re: Most Fathers Today Are Losing Relevance In The Family by mk3jax: 8:38pm On Jul 19, 2020
xynerise:


And cancelling my post supposed to make you the smart and right one?

You want everyone to agree to your opinion?

How many kids do you have and how old are they?
Re: Most Fathers Today Are Losing Relevance In The Family by xynerise: 8:46pm On Jul 19, 2020
mk3jax:


How many kids do you have and how old are they?

You should have asked when do I want to have the next one.

Look guys, if you don't understand the point I am trying to make then it is your problem not mine. I stated an observation in many families and some fathers are taking the challenge to become closer to their kids and feel concerned about their emotional challenges. Does it mean they are weak or they are not too busy with hustling?


If you don't agree with my post, then state it in a civilized manner and stop commenting like you are pained. Though I don't give a fuvk if you are....

9 Likes

Re: Most Fathers Today Are Losing Relevance In The Family by Hollasmall: 10:33pm On Jul 19, 2020
donstan18:

[s]You are referring to your father who didn't teach you anything positive, not our fathers.


It still doesn't change the fact that your parents didn't teach you anything positive.

Below is my proof, a screenshot of your statement on this forum about them.

They failed, ruined and slowed your success, according to you.

Stop forcing our fathers To be like yours!![/s]
Re: Most Fathers Today Are Losing Relevance In The Family by xynerise: 7:31am On Jul 20, 2020
Lots of hidden comments undecided
Re: Most Fathers Today Are Losing Relevance In The Family by mariahAngel(f): 10:11am On Jul 20, 2020
xynerise:
Lots of hidden comments undecided

You couldn't think of a better topic to create than one that belittles the sacrifices fathers make for their families.

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Re: Most Fathers Today Are Losing Relevance In The Family by kingreign(m): 10:21am On Jul 20, 2020
mariahAngel:


You couldn't think of a better topic to create than one that belittles the sacrifices fathers make for their families.

I bet you don't understand the essence of this thread. The essence of the thread is that fathers should do more for their families, their children other than going out there to work, provide funds or food. It asserts that fathers should be more closer to their kids, to imbibe fatherly roles, love and presence in the lives of their kids. I totally agree.

I'd tell you, my son always laughs and smiles and babbles when he hears my voice. When I'm out for long and on opening the door, if he's awake, he starts crying for my attention, and when he sees me close, he starts playing and laughing. Why does he do these?
It's because I take alot of time in playing with him, carrying him, speaking to him, learning and discovering new things with him. I even do his diapers and change his clothes, wash them too very regularly and bath him once a while. My wife was protesting against such initially, but I put it to her that I WANT AND NEED to do these to my offspring. It's not a sign of misplaced priorities or weakness, but rather a form of bonding between father and child.

34 Likes 4 Shares

Re: Most Fathers Today Are Losing Relevance In The Family by proclinician: 10:36am On Jul 20, 2020
Here's what I think the problem is. You want to blame ur parents and most especially your dad for sending you to school instead of allowing you stay at home learning how to tell dry jokes or singing meaningless songs. What do you mean by your talent? At what point did your talent become anti-school or anti-education? I see nothing wrong with the decisions your parents made for you which is undoubtedly the best. Go to school, get educated, then combine with your whatever talent, that's awesome. Except you just failed at both completely and you want to blame your dad.

My dad taught me mathematics like I could have failed maths in wassce. He showed me some tips that will help me scale through and that was awesome. My dad is a banker and holds an M.B.A in management but how he managed to teach me how to balance chemical equations remains a mystery to me today.


When I wrote jamb I wanted to be a computer engineer. I filled my form and showed him and he gave me a forecast of what Nigeria will look like in the next 10 years and said I should become a doctor instead. I felt his views were myopic nonetheless but I didn't give it much thought. I threw away the form and medicine it is.

Now I'm a doctor and when I look back 10 years ago I feel flesh and blood did not reveal that advice to him. That man is supernatural.

Pls OP, the problem is not ur dad but you. When kids turn out bad and useless they're quick to blame their parents. Imagine if I couldn't pass my exams I will say it's because my parents forced me out of my will that's nonsense. What did I do with all the time I had to study? Probably looking for who to blame. Before that jamb I loved computers, I found a fascinating world in that. I started hacking Facebook in 2010 self-taught by running php scripts I pulled off from the internet. While waiting for admission in medicine I was practicing with a book I bought myself titled "teach your self C++ programming in 21 days". I still carried this book straight into my first year as a medical student. Thing is there was no room for bullshitting. In my house, as the first son of my parents u have to get results no matter what.

Today I have my license which is there in my file waiting for this corona to end before I start practicing. I average about 100k every week mining cryptocurrency, I do freelance writing and other gigs all on that same computer.

Your destiny is in ur hands.

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Re: Most Fathers Today Are Losing Relevance In The Family by xynerise: 10:37am On Jul 20, 2020
mariahAngel:


You couldn't think of a better topic to create than one that belittles the sacrifices fathers make for their families.

Huh?

1 Like

Re: Most Fathers Today Are Losing Relevance In The Family by Mindlog: 11:21am On Jul 20, 2020
mariahAngel:


You couldn't think of a better topic to create than one that belittles the sacrifices fathers make for their families.

It reminds me of one of my undergraduate courses, Family Psychology where one of the topics we treated was unfinished business with fathers.There is nothing belittling about the topic, it is something worthy of conversation because honouring one's father doesn't mean doing exactly what he did.

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Re: Most Fathers Today Are Losing Relevance In The Family by ImaIma1(f): 3:57pm On Jul 20, 2020
kingreign:


I bet you don't understand the essence of this thread. The essence of the thread is that fathers should do more for their families, their children other than going out there to work, provide funds or food. It asserts that fathers should be more closer to their kids, to imbibe fatherly roles, love and presence in the lives of their kids. I totally agree.

I'd tell you, my son always laughs and smiles and babbles when he hears my voice. When I'm out for long and on opening the door, if he's awake, he starts crying for my attention, and when he sees me close, he starts playing and laughing. Why does he do these?
It's because I take alot of time in playing with him, carrying him, speaking to him, learning and discovering new things with him. I even do his diapers and change his clothes, wash them too very regularly and bath him once a while. My wife was protesting against such initially, but I put it to her that I WANT AND NEED to do these to my offspring. It's not a sign of misplaced priorities or weakness, but rather a form of bonding between father and child.


Don't let TonyeBarcanista see the bolded. World War 3 can start here...lol

Thank God that not all men think being a father just means someone who provides, defends, protects and leads. Bonding with the children you fathered is also important.

7 Likes

Re: Most Fathers Today Are Losing Relevance In The Family by kingreign(m): 4:30pm On Jul 20, 2020
ImaIma1:


Don't let TonyeBarcanista see the bolded. World War 3 can start here...lol

Thank God that not all men think being a father just means someone who provides, defends, protects and leads. Bonding with the children you fathered is also important.
Yak aye se yak aye kpa.
Re: Most Fathers Today Are Losing Relevance In The Family by 0neal(m): 5:27pm On Jul 20, 2020
Another title for this thread can be

"Fathers should endeavour to emotionally invest in their kids"

Other than just focused only on providing, protecting, disciplining...

How many dads can play video game with their boys? grin

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Re: Most Fathers Today Are Losing Relevance In The Family by xynerise: 5:34pm On Jul 20, 2020
0neal:

Another title for this thread can be

"Fathers should endeavour to emotionally invest in their kids"

Other than just focused only on providing, protecting, disciplining...

How many dads can play video game with their boys? grin

You got it. Thumbs up

7 Likes

Re: Most Fathers Today Are Losing Relevance In The Family by TonyeBarcanista(m): 7:33pm On Jul 20, 2020
0neal:

Another title for this thread can be

"Fathers should endeavour to emotionally invest in their kids"

Other than just focused only on providing, protecting, disciplining...

How many dads can play video game with their boys? grin

Papa wey de toil night and day for family to move forward na who you expect to play video game? Na wa for you o

How do you expect him to emotionally invest in his kids? I am very sure most fathers spend time with kids whenever they are at home no matter how little the time is.

Abeg, make una spare all these sissy crap

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Re: Most Fathers Today Are Losing Relevance In The Family by TonyeBarcanista(m): 7:33pm On Jul 20, 2020
xynerise:

You got it. Thumbs up
He didn't get anything

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Re: Most Fathers Today Are Losing Relevance In The Family by xynerise: 7:54pm On Jul 20, 2020
TonyeBarcanista:

He didn't get anything

Oga, if it is difficult for you, it is not the same for others

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Re: Most Fathers Today Are Losing Relevance In The Family by TheArchangel(f): 8:15pm On Jul 20, 2020
TonyeBarcanista:

Papa wey de toil night and day for family to move forward na who you expect to play video game? Na wa for you o

How do you expect him to emotionally invest in his kids? I am very sure most fathers spend time with kids whenever they are at home no matter how little the time is.

Abeg, make una spare all these sissy crap
You are becoming more empty and bitter as the days go by.

22 Likes 1 Share

Re: Most Fathers Today Are Losing Relevance In The Family by ImaIma1(f): 8:15pm On Jul 20, 2020
0neal:

Another title for this thread can be

"Fathers should endeavour to emotionally invest in their kids"

Other than just focused only on providing, protecting, disciplining...

How many dads can play video game with their boys? grin



Meanwhile they can have time to sit out with their friends for a drink or aimless gist. But when it comes to spending time with their own children, they have a very wonderful excuse for it.

They believe it is the woman's job and not something a man should bother himself with.

Mother will still toil night and day and still try to catch up with the children. Is it that she is a super human to still be able to fit then into her busy schedule or the man is emotionally lazy towards his own children?

I am talking about the men who believe they cannot combine "toiling" with spending time with their children.

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Re: Most Fathers Today Are Losing Relevance In The Family by 0neal(m): 8:33pm On Jul 20, 2020
TonyeBarcanista:

Papa wey de toil night and day for family to move forward na who you expect to play video game? Na wa for you o

How do you expect him to emotionally invest in his kids? I am very sure most fathers spend time with kids whenever they are at home no matter how little the time is.

Abeg, make una spare all these sissy crap


Lol

Calm down bros

Papa weh dey toil no matter what suppose make time catch quality fun with his kids.

Balance is key

Life no be only for work, work, work, work, work...

4 Likes

Re: Most Fathers Today Are Losing Relevance In The Family by kingreign(m): 8:34pm On Jul 20, 2020
I wish to ask these rather strange question to you Sire,
TonyeBarcanista:

He didn't get anything
1. Should your wife deliver a new baby, and she becomes ill or incapacitated to take care of that child for some weeks (which I don't hope or pray for), and there's no one around, what would you do for that child? What would you do to make your wife look at you with sense of pride and satisfaction?

2. What would you do to your young lad who comes back from school all soiled up, and has assignments to do, and is hungry, but the mom is probably not around due to official engagement as a working class executive or a business mogul, and you're on your annual leave and no baby sitter or maid in the house? Would you not care for that child, wash him up, laundry his clothes, cook for him and also assist him with his assignments?


These things are NOT hard, what makes them seem hard is our seemingly overbloated ego and entitlement.
There is an aspect of Sociology called "gender in planning", and in that subject we had a subtopic called, gender and advocate planning in which folks learn about family members and perceived or distinguished roles and then these roles were put under another subtopic called, Social Division of Labour (SDOL) various groups in society have been pre-allocated certain roles and jobs expected of them. Let me say that since the beginning of 70's, that SDOL definition began to wither and in today's world, a woman can be as equally or more busy than a man. Let all these precolonial mentality be bygone.

We are NOT saying fathers should assume the exclusive roles of mothers or females, but should also take time to add their own presence and impact in the children and family's well-being directly.

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