Acidosis:


So, as soon as they make money, the problem will fail to exist?


We are too money conscious, we fail to identify the main problem.

I really did not get you .What problem are you referring to here?

We are talking about ensuring one is financially capable before bringing children to the world ..that is an issue that without money life will be hell.

A jobless man or one that earns less than 50k with no skill or an extra means of income has no business having kids.

He can marry if his wife is working and they can always postpone having children pending when they are financially buoyant .

If they decide to have two kids with a proper planing for each child before there are born, I don't think life will be too hard for them .

We are too emotional in this country and lack the ability to apply logic in areas like this only the rich and middle class use their brain in planing their families .The poor on the other hand lack this . Majority of poor Nigerians leave thier lives to fate and the belief that one day "e go better syndrome. The church they go to does not even help matter .Some of the things these pastors preach even make them more lazy .Imagin Some pastor preaching that as children of God they will eat from where they did not sow" such people will be waiting for manners from heaven. It is a complex situation.

Brightgem:
I like this post, a rule for not only the malefolk but ladies as well. The sad thing is, people continue the circle they found themselves or their parents. Few are truly able to have the will not to repeat that circle and break out.

If I be your female colleague Sha, that man can't carry me anywhere, I go drop, what nonsense is that. Mean people everywhere. Makes no sense.

She apologized to me the next day and I had no option but to forgive her because I'm terrible with being angry with people. coupled with the fact that we were in a dire situation that night.

She acted on the instinct of human selfishness; that same kind of selfishness that would make a person want the best food he/she can get, and I can understand that much.

mrchineke:


You make me laugh!!!

Use your brain, assess yourself and your environment before you commit to a life changing decision. If you are poor, without financial security or stability and you decide to marry, you are one your own - na OYO you dey!

Which financial security and stability are you talking about? You are dicing out an educative orientation to people who have no access to basic education system itself.

People who are born into the helpless situation. People whose lives are hidden in the corner of deep darkness. People who faces an oppression of the legal system favouring only the rich. People whose parents' rights to provide for thier children are robbed off. People whose vision and desired destiny have been tamed due to decayed system.

May God forgive you all for using the condition of the poor to spew trash and gain relevance under this haughty thread, just because of useless show-off 10k!

Whoever mock the poor insult the maker.~ Jesus Christ.

Bros you dey write!!!! I throway cap for you! You’ve written the undiluted truth. Me and Neighor (a 40years bro) talk about this everyday!
Dude is 40years old and doesn’t even have a girlfriend. He said he can only cater to himself for now. He can’t afford to feed another man’s daughter.

His family have dragged him tire. He no dey mind them. He stopped going to church when he almost became the topic for Sunday sermon.

Woman no send you o. Money go, love waka! No money, no libido!!! This one is nonnegotiable. Only a man that can provide gets recognition.

Men really need to check themselves and stop listening to the society!

Ire o

iwaeda:

What is the level of his qualification?

O'level

Poseidon000:
Sup guys. I've something that have always earned the acme of my discountenance. And that's how men crudely jump into marriage in other to conform to societal dictate or for some selfish satisfaction.
This have gotten me pensive and I'll make no ado in getting to the nucleus of the issue.

Yesterday, I was headed toward gwarimpa, and on my way I noticed a disheveled young guy around Efab estate trekking by the express.
As a rule, I always give such guys 'lift,' because i was once with a female colleague in a lonely path that seldom have cars coming our way, suddenly one private car stopped and when I tried entering after my female colleague boarded, the SIMPson bounced me out and zoomed off with an empty back seat.

That incident birthed in me a sense of solidarity and understanding of what men go through just for being men, but yesterday, I was so incensed by a botch job my mechanic did that I drove past. After about 4 hours when I had everything sorted and was heading back, I saw the same guy heading toward my direction again(it's a dual carriage way) and he was sweating profusely, so I beckoned on him to enter. We got talking and I inquired why he's trekking such a long distance. He said: he went to look for a job that wasn't successful and he's going back to Arab road.
But this is just a miniscule of the guy's travail. He grew up in abject poverty.In fact, they gave birth to him and his sister in an uncompleted building. His dad died in that building, his sister got pregnant for some riffraff and they started what we call "abuja marriage", his mom subsequently fell sick and died in the same uncompleted building. Then the owner of the building decided to complete it, and drove him away.

Now, this guy was able to get another uncompleted building to stay, and as I'm typing this, he's with wife and kids. This is a person that don't have food at home and can not afford N150 to and fro.

I gave him 10k but I was so mad with him; I mean, I was disconcertingly appalled that this guy will think of marriage in his privation. Why not be a little bit comfortable before considering marriage, instead to face life with the dignity of a breadline.

Sadly, this is the same mistake lot of guy's have been making thinking they'll fall into some stupendous money as soon as they marry, and this is mostly perpetuated by religious charlatans who say; a man's destiny is predicated on his future wife, that as soon as he gets married, the special blessing tied to marriage will start opening way for him.

That's a mendacious twaddle that will leave you in a precarious situation. Please guys, have 'comfort' afoot before you dabble into marriage.

What's your take on this?

I like ur use of the word religious Charlatan. Until we conquer corruption and religion, Nigeria will continue on it's Moon Walk.

pocohantas:
If a lady tells you people to be financially stable before marriage, you will start crying. You will say she is broke-shaming you. You will ask how much her father had before marrying her mum. You will ask if she is a liability. You will na tell us how you sef wan marry DJcuppy.

Now you are saying same thing women have been telling you.

I have come to realize men know the truth. They just hate to hear it from women.

Una go dey alright ehn. Cuties

You seem to misconstrue my point. I'm not advocating that one must be rich, but that; it's requisite one have a source of income and a little comfort before going into marriage. So that the family don't suffer.

But we all know how ladies on this fora denigrate and disdain men of humble beginning or of average economic stature. To them, it's either he's stupendously boxed up or he has a stake in the patrimony of Dangote or Tony Elumelu. Anything outside this - the man should go and die.
That's why ladies over here win the aversion of men whenever they institute such topic.
Ironically: only but a minute out of ladies build themselves to be worthy of such demand.

FuerzA:
One of the essentials marriage should be predicated upon is some degree of financial ease/freedom. Ignoring this switches marriage to carriage.

Nna, how do you develop and sustain feelings with a hollow pocket

Mad ohhhhhhh

Hello, fellas.

mygem, fbabs, febirim09, kenzysmith, thinkmoney, poltergeist, moriton

My email associated with this account, is now defunct.

Reach me via Abah.marvelous000@gmail.com let's talk there.

harsysky:
Life is a risk. like a reader commented up there, time and chance happen to people whether you choose to up your game or you choose to marry when not buoyant. If I had not seen a poor man who rose to wealth , and a wealthy man who became poor, I would certainly think a man has 100% influence on how their lives go .

The overall advice would be to have a source of income before dabbling into marriage, then get other sources of income to complement whatever cometh. At all times, pray without ceasing because real wealth isn't made, it is inherited from anybody. Take a look at majority of those who are billionaires, you would agree with me that they never believed they would be what they are now. If we all understand the way things work in this world, which isn't possible, we will be able to predict the future.

Is there anyone who is a liability? No. it's a matter of meeting someone whom God has given the ability to unlock that passion in you. I have seen a lot in just a lil amount of time. Just like the saying, " what doesn't kill one, makes one stronger". I'm stronger for all I have seen and I go all the way opposite of what majority think is best because I have this sole belief that God is both the producer and director of what we are living on here--the earth. A lot of rules here and there to even make one think that following all the rules could make you live longer than Methuselah, but it is all wash.

Enjoy what ever time you have in this world, and never judge those you think you are better than. Never lean on your own understanding.

Your angle self make Brain ooo. More Grease to your Elbows

Luxurydriverng:


Yet to read but I already love the topic. Right now i am on the verge of dumping my marriage. I was so pained when my suppose wife didn't let me rest after hustling and coming home to relax this woman just dey nag me over money for pad. I just had to rethink the entire thing. And wonder is it really worth it. Guys think am well oh don't let society push you into what will kill you. Because if u die another man go shine that Congo.

I wish you'll find a way to salvage your marriage. The deed has been done. The only thing is to find a way to circumvent your circumstance.

Marriage is not what you jump in and out.

Joshforeal:
Your angle self make Brain ooo. More Grease to your Elbows

Thanks, boss. More to you too for having a discerning eye and heart. It is a rare gift having gone through thousands of comments to spot one, two or three great ones.

AdaoraNK:
@Poseidon000

Well done. Do you have his number? Some people might want to help.

I have stopped blaming people who gets into trouble waters as a result of wrong calculations or miscalculations. The thing there is how can the person get out from such situations.

Nah! He doesn't even have a phone. But I think I can locate his place by the description he gave.

IF YOU HAVE THAT SHALLOW MENTALITY OF BEEN FINANCIALLY STABLE BEFORE BRINGING CHILDREN INTO THIS WORD, THEN THINK AGAIN. WHERE IS HUSHPUPI NOW? THE FACT IS YOU CAN STILL BE FINANCIALLY STABLE, MARRY AND CIRCUMSTANCES WILL MAKE YOU TO LOSE ALL YOU HAVE. WILL YOU KILL YOUR CHILDREN, OPT THEM FOR ADOPTION AND DIVORCE YOUR WIFE?

OP YOUR WRITE UP IS SENSELESS AND BASELESS. ABI NA EVERYONE WEY MARRY DEY FINANCIALLY OK? I DON'T WANT TO BE FIFTY AND MY 1ST BORN WILL BE 10. THANK GOD I HAVE A WIFE AND A 3 MONTHS OLD BABY. WE ARE MANAGING.

omoharry:
I really did not get you .What problem are you referring to here?

We are talking about ensuring one is financially capable before bringing children to the world ..that is an issue that without money life will be hell.

A jobless man or one that earns less than 50k with no skill or an extra means of income has no business having kids.

He can marry if his wife is working and they can always postpone having children pending when they are financially buoyant .

If they decide to have two kids with a proper planing for each child before there are born, I don't think life will be too hard for them .

We are too emotional in this country and lack the ability to apply logic in areas like this only the rich and middle class use their brain in planing their families .The poor on the other hand lack this . Majority of poor Nigerians leave thier lives to fate and the belief that one day "e go better syndrome. The church they go to does not even help matter .Some of the things these pastors preach even make them more lazy .Imagin Some pastor preaching that as children of God they will eat from where they did not sow" such people will be waiting for manners from heaven. It is a complex situation.

I understand your point but I don't like the rich-poor dichotomy when it comes to issues such as this.

Ignorance or arrogance is the only reason anyone, whether rich or poor, in this age will birth many kids. It takes more than money to raise 2 kids, so a rich man that goes around distributing sperm like dispenser is not in anyway better than the poor man with many kids. His money won't raise a proper child, if other factors are missing.

So I don't like to give people the impression that as soon as they make some money, they're free to do whatever (the kind of message Nigerians gave Davido, WizKid, Flavour, and more to come).

Money is not why Tony Elumelu or Dangote choose to keep it minimal. They're simply informed and educated -- a virtue a poor man in a one room sef con can possess; a virtue the rich 2face failed to learn on time.

When you see the extent of love some kids from poor backgrounds show their parents, you would understand there's more to these things, especially when you hardly see the same level of love between rich kids and their parents. Go figure.

Anyway, the truth is well packaged there. It's only available for the sets of people that can relate.

Hahjascho:
Anyway, the truth is well packaged there. It's only available for the sets of people that can relate.

WHICH TRUTH. THAT GUY IS MISLEADING YOU. MARRIAGE IS NOT ALL ABOUT MONEY.

Poseidon000:

Nah! He doesn't even have a phone. But I think I can locate his place by the description he gave.

Hmm...

God see him and his household through.

julyb:
. Can you give me insight on the type of business you are running?

...I sell frozen foods and drinks in my street..

Poseidon000:
Hello, fellas.

mygem, fbabs, febirim09, kenzysmith, thinkmoney, poltergeist


My email associated with this account, is now defunct.

Reach me via Abah.marvelous000@gmail.com let's talk there.

bros is diffuclt to reach using a very small phone .

mrchineke:

See useless Christian! Did God ask you to fight someone for him?

Useful Christian, I'd ignore you as well!

Poseidon000:

She apologized to me the next day and I had no option but to forgive her because I'm terrible with being angry with people. coupled with the fact that we were in a dire situation that night.

She acted on the instinct of human selfishness; that same kind of selfishness that would make a person want the best food he/she can get, and I can understand that much.

oh well! We all different. This wasn't an instinct of life and death... It was just all wrong. As for the matter in focus, it pays to accept the world is what it is, some will listen, others will still make the exact mistake they've been warned against. World people

Wolgrace:


Which financial security and stability are you talking about? You are dicing out an educative orientation to people who have no access to basic education system itself.

People who are born into the helpless situation. People whose lives are hidden in the corner of deep darkness. People who faces an oppression of the legal system favouring only the rich. People whose parents' rights to provide for thier children are robbed off. People whose vision and desired destiny have been tamed due to decayed system.

May God forgive you all for using the condition of the poor to spew trash and gain relevance under this haughty thread, just because of useless show-off 10k!

Whoever mock the poor insult the maker.~ Jesus Christ.

Don't you mind them, self righteous lot.

It's always smooth & easy to say when u are privileged never to av been in their shoes. There are some things the op & his stalwarts got wrong in their various submission. Only d real victims will know how best to paint d picture.

When a guy is poor & unwelcoming to people, any girl dt accept to date or marry him will appear to him as though she is doing him a great favor. Need for Companionship doesnt respect status anyway.

U & your fellow theorists probably got it rousy due to your privileged background & well-enlightened exposure. Even gv some poor dudes without privileged & enlightened exposure, million of Naira to start up sth for themselves. Check back in few months, it is either d money remained locked in bank or fast spending it for consumption. Yet, most times it's not their fault, generational & subsisting poverty in their live has battered them so so deep.


Also, one of d theorist said one will be so happily married when there is money....as in eh!!!! Most jobless broke ass trekking couples are happily married eating their soaked garri in peace while many rich couples are having it so tough & rough in their marriages.


Finally, if u are truly humane, u are to pity those people not to mock nor condemn them.

ADAMUdaCOWBOY:
Don't you mind them, self righteous lot.

Looolz, very funny moniker.. My gateman name indeed.

decatalyst:


Yes o!

It's your duty to ensure your kids have better life or privileges than you ever had. No point bringing them into this world when you are not prepared. It's an act of callousness to do so!

i totally agree.They didn't ask to be born so you have to be ready.

mrchineke:


Olosi!!!

Blessed are they that blessed thee and curse are those that curse thee.

Your poverty stricken life will be legendary

mrchineke:


Disappointment and depression awaits anyone with this mindset.

Early grave things!!!

If you fail to train you children, they will be a disappointment and a source of depression to you. Teach a child the way he should go and he will remember it all his life. Prov 22:6. My parents are proud of me till tomorrow because of the way they trained me.

One of the best write up on nairaland.... Is as if I should give the guy 20 likes

Good day everyone,if you stay in Suleja or Abuja and need a private tutor for your kids,my kid sis is available. She is a 400l medical student of uniport.you can reach her via this phone number: zero,eight,one,six,five,three five,two five,one,nine (08165352519) or contact me via my email,thanks
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chiol:


My advice was for those between 30 and 40 years with sources of income. For you, don't marry, continue planning till you retire. Wait until you have billions in your account.

We are still in Nigeria. If you like, continue behaving like the whites. Their countries have plans for them at old age, whether they have children or not but your country has no plans for you. Get a family and train your children well.

See this low level thinker, disappointment awaits you!!!