She has been mounting pressure on me to follow her to meet her parents. We have been in this relationship for a year now. Although she is not the only one I am dating. I am not sure of the other lady, but atleast this one is ready to marry me.

I am not sure if I genuinely love her or not, but a part of me love her..A part of me want to treat her bad, whenever I remember what she did to me in the past.

3 years ago, I started noticing and showing interest in her being my junior sister’s friend. I discussed with my sister who encouraged me to approach her that she had no boyfriend. We were on talking terms before which was an opportunity. So I leveraged on that to get closer to her. When she noticed I was getting closer, she started giving me attitudes, stopped talking to me. Finally she stopped coming to our house. She would give my sister thousands of excuses why she was not chanced to come to our house.

We met at a friends birthday party, to my surprized, she warmed up to me, greeted me. I though she must have repented. While the party was on, I asked her to come to my table and spend sometimes with me, she said “ok”. I waited for hours, she didn’t come. I later saw her in the room with the celibrant. I jokingly said to her “You dey whine me abi”. She just went off, started ranting, she said I should say whatever I want to say now infront of everyone..infront of her friends. “Why do you want me to come and sit with you?” say it now “let the whole world hear”. It was so embarrasing for me. I just said to myself “whats there..are they not aldult?..dem never toast all of them before”.

My sister was there, got angry and left us. She had already warned me to leave her alone. That I am interfering with their friendship. On my birthday, she replied to my whatsapp pictures with love and kiss icons. She went to facebook to like all my birthday pix. Facebook was alerting me as she was clicking. She finally sent me happy birthday..where is my cake..we started gisting again. She apologized for what she did that day, that she was not in a good mood that day (someone who met, joked and laugh with me, even agreed to come sit with me on my table).

We continued chattin for weeks, I made sure I didn’t get intimate with her. One day, my sister was playing with my phone, then saw our chats, read through our chats. She was mad at me. She confronted me and nearly slapped her for disrespect. She later calm down and explain to me that if I knew what this girl said about me on group chat, that I would shoot her if I have a gun. She said she didn’t tell me so that I wont feel bad.
She then show me their caucaus group chat discussing me. Tears was just coming out of my eyes. I felt cold. They were just laughing at me. My sister was just fighting for me shutting them off.

This lady said “how come some men behave like he goat. Why can’t he leave me alone?” “am I the only girl on the planet? Oh God I hate that idiot.” “Gosh, I can never be close to such person talkless of dating him” ANOTHER girl said “That’s how those guys are…you need to disgrace him more next time he try something stupid with you. Blahblah.

That’s when I closed her chapter. Blocked her on facebook, whatsapp, instagram. I moved on. My sister did photoshoot for her birthday and some of her friends came. I saw her and just greeted her, minding my business. Then I was dating another girl then, so it’s a win win for all. She stayed behind, when everyone left, she asked my sister to help her beg me. She knelt infront of me started telling me “she was sorry..she was being childish” This was someone that was in her 24 when I was chasing her. I said I forgave due to pressure from my sister. Since then, she will come to my apartment, do my laundary, cook soup inside my freezer. When she is coming from work, she will branch at my place prepare food on my table. At times she offered to sleep overnite, that she cooked till late in the night, which I will refuse.

But one thing led to another, one day, we had sex. And that changed everything. I couldn’t resist her again. But a part of me still hate her whenever I remember those disgraceful moments. Now she is 26, she want us get married. If I marry her, I may treat her bad.

In a dilema seriously and its giving me headache.

If you have forgiven her... let go of the past. If you have not truly forgiven her; kindly let her go in peace and not in pieces. Thanks

emillysmigael:
If you have forgiven her... let go of the past. If you have not truly forgiven her; kindly let her go in peace and not in pieces. Thanks

You are connected to my thinking. I think I have to be bold and cut it.

I just came here to Read this Your Interesting Story,... Oga, I have no Advise to give you

The decision is yours to make. Non of us will be there with you in the future. If you can't let bye gone be bye gone then leave the lady alone

Make her feel bad too

Had to pause the music I'm playing so I could give a better advice.
See ehn, this life nobody is 100%, that is no one is perfect. One of the holy books says 'To err is human but to forgive is divine'.
They say love is blind, you know what that means? it means when you in love with someone, you don't see no fault in whatever they do.

This your case, I'm not sure you really love her. If you do really love her you'll forgive whatever she's done in the past and forget also all the pains, disgrace she's caused. What you get for this lady isn't love(I'm sorry) its just emotions, and you know one thing about emotions, it comes and goes.

Marriage isn't what one rush into, you take your time when choosing a life partner. You don't want to marry her now and divorce her later (maybe 2, 3yrs time). Marry who you truly love so you enjoy and not endure your marriage.
If you can't forgive her and let go of the pains, please don't marry her.

this is serious, I think you need to discuss the event(s) with her, let her know how truly you feel. probably you get closure

That girl really back stab you.
Please teach her a good lesson, before thrashing out.

If you think you can forgive her, or you think you can't forgive her, you are right.

Don't deceive yourself.

If you are harbouring vile thoughts and hate against her, then marrying her should not even be on the menu or an idea worth considering.

You're not ready to forgive.
You're not ready for marriage.

Besides, the fact that you're double dating and not being loyal is a red flag that you're not ready for any marriage. Grow up and stop being petty.

emillysmigael:
If you have forgiven her... let go of the past. If you have not truly forgiven her; kindly let her go in peace and not in pieces. Thanks

Hw is isn't holding her. She came when she wanted to.and can.go.whenever she wants. It is a game for.both. The girl can.meet someone tomorrow and move on same with the guy. Whoever moves on first should not be blamed.

no biggie in what you call issue here.
now that you are together, are you two compatible?
nevertheless, she was childish same as you now

Well, what I have to say is that most men who are now married to their wives were insulted in their first approach. Most young ladies of nowadays behave the way they do because they think or feel they are at the top of the world and all men ought to worship them. But the moment they realise that their friends are getting married one after the other that is when they start taking men serious.
Since you are still feeling bitter , just let her go. That should be your pound of flesh.

Ningen:
Don't deceive yourself.

If you are harbouring vile thoughts and hate against her, then marrying her should not even be on the menu or an idea worth considering.

You're not ready to forgive.
You're not ready for marriage.

Besides, the fact that you're double dating and not being loyal is a red flag that you're not ready for any marriage. Grow up and stop being petty.

Make i no lie you, I still habour hate for her. U got me there. I remember those disgrace everyday.
At times, I mistreat her, she will go and still come back..

she wont just go away.

I was in love with her until I got to know her personality. I still remember those moment I fantasize about her. Her physique, beauty and all The moment that made me approach her. I think thats what is keeping me with her.

proxillin:


Make i no lie you, I still habour hate for her. U got me there. I remember those disgrace everyday.
At times, I mistreat her, she will go and still come back..

she wont just go away.

I was in love with her until I got to know her personality. I still remember those moment I fantasize about her. Her physique, beauty and all The moment that made me approach her. I think thats what is keeping me with her.

END IT MAN.
Stop wasting both of your time.

Forgive her.....she was in her prime, which I will call the yanga stage of ladies.....she is more matured now and from what you have written she loves you....stick with her and observe her for sometime before plunging into marriage with her

When you first met her,she was in the age bracket of 22 to 23years old.She must have had alot of suitors and options.Hence her nasty attitude towards you because you weren't her spec.Fast forward 3 years and the suitors and options have dried up hence her desire to get married as soon as possible to any available option that's why you see her cooking,sweeping and other bullshit that easily impresses Nigerian men
If you eventually marry her,she will change back to her nasty attitude when you first met her.Classic bait and switch

Clearly you don't have real guy friends that you trust and can advise you appropriately.

If I were your friend I'd give you a dirty slap and tell you to snap out of it.

First of all you're considering a serious relationship with someone and you're dating two ladies. You can't even commit to one woman ( I'm not judging. It's just something to think about)

Most importantly, that girl has no respect for you whatsoever. No man should ever commit to a woman dat disrespects him whether she is in a bad mood or not. She didn't even spare your sister's (her friend) feelings when she posted those nasty things online.

Don't even make excuses for her at all. At 23 she is no longer a child.

You can keep enjoying the juicy hole. This could be an opportunity to explore all your sexual fantasies.

But I beg you. I'm on my knees ,DO NOT MARRY HER EVER

bro i feel your pain
just let the clout seeking bitch go
she`d serve as another persons burden
take heart bro
P.S
don`t marry oohhhh
this kind of person can back stab you in the least moment you`d expect

It's obvious she was being childish during those times, and might have grown up now or pretending so as to get you caged into the scam called marriage. You too need to grow the fvck up! Be a Man and know what you want. Let her go if you know you can't cope with the past experience(s).

ekaF:
Clearly you don't have real guy friends that you trust and can advise you appropriately.

If I were your friend I'd give you a dirty slap and tell you to snap out of it.

First of all you're considering a serious relationship with someone and you're dating two ladies. You can't even commit to one woman ( I'm not judging. It's just something to think about)

Most importantly, that girl has no respect for you whatsoever. No man should ever commit to a woman dat disrespects him whether she is in a bad mood or not.

You can keep enjoying the juicy hole. This could be an opportunity to explore all your sexual fantasies.

But I beg you. I'm on my knees ,DO NOT MARRY HER EVER

thanks sir/ma

in order to avoid trouble for yourself now n later,bro free that girl.

my reason being that it has been registered in your subconscious that she once embarrassed u both online n offline n no matter how good she is,she will definitely make mistakes someday either knowingly or unknowingly.

so are u emotionally strong to the extent that u won't treat her based on past events?

We all talk about forgive which I also believe but what can erase d memories? Don't forget at a time love will fade away,hope d bad memories will not set in?

She's desperate to gets married




She might change after marriage watch her closely oo

baiaon:
When you first met her,she was in the age bracket of 22 to 23years old.She must have had alot of suitors and options.Hence her nasty attitude towards you because you weren't her spec.Fast forward 3 years and the suitors and options have dried up hence her desire to get married as soon as possible to any available option that's why you see her cooking,sweeping and other bullshit that easily impresses Nigerian men
If you eventually marry her,she will change back to her nasty attitude when you first met her.Classic bait and switch

GBAM!!!

Gideoniteprime4:
bro i feel your pain
just let the clout seeking bitch go
she`d serve as another persons burden
take heart bro
P.S
don`t marry oohhhh
this kind of person can back stab you in the least moment you`d expect

Thats another dimension to it

At 24 you're not yet matured? This one na till Jesus Christ come again she go mature oo... She Don use you Catch Cruz finish, now she wan Settle down she come dey Meet you Truly you really dey show this girl say Na only She be the girl for you for this Earth.. You would've forgiven her but would NEVER want to have anything to do with her anymore not to even talk of dating her so she would live in regret for treating you the way she did.. That experience with you alone would've taught her how to trade carefully with people

Well, What do I know sef!!!!

baiaon:
When you first met her,she was in the age bracket of 22 to 23years old.She must have had alot of suitors and options.Hence her nasty attitude towards you because you weren't her spec.Fast forward 3 years and the suitors and options have dried up hence her desire to get married as soon as possible to any available option that's why you see her cooking,sweeping and other bullshit that easily impresses Nigerian men
If you eventually marry her,she will change back to her nasty attitude when you first met her.Classic bait and switch

\

Another analysis for consideration

Honestly, If you don't treat her fuckup, you fumble big time

One day , a big fight will come up between both of you and u will use those things against her