LOVE “DOES” COST A THING

“Nothing is free even in Freetown” – A Well Travelled Man


My name is gafar and I’m a storyteller.


The world today as we know it runs on so many different notions of and on love. All of which happen to be arguable on so many different levels and more than a few are quite simply illogical and ridiculous, examples include – “Love at first sight”, “Love is blind”, “Love conquers all”, “Anything done in love is done right”, just to mention a few, you probably know of a few more yourself.

Of all the notions, sayings and quotes on love, for me, one of the most incredulous yet insidious is – “Love don’t cost a thing”.

In a time and age like ours, nothing could be farther and at the same time a murder of the truth.

Love like almost every other commodity in life is something we all must pay for, one way or the other, the trick being the fact that while most of us have our eyes set on legal tender, money is not the only currency expended in the business of love, so that in reality what most of us see as lack of cost is actually ignorance of cost and like in any business worth it’s onion that could be fatal, for how then could you possibly calculate your return on investment?

There are those of us who deliberately turn a blind eye to the cost of our love no matter how outrageous it maybe simply because somewhere in our subconscious we believe that if it is free then somehow it is special, ironically it is said that “what you don’t pay for, you never really value”.

A substantial part, if not all of our human existence revolves around resources and the alternative forgone, time, emotions, physical energy, spiritual energy, money, are all different forms of resources that if we think about, we all expend, have expended and majority of us are still expending in varying measures in love or the pursuit of it – that is the cost of love.

As apathetic and nonchalant as some of us maybe towards the discourse on love, what we cannot wish away is the fact that love is a vital part of the human circle, we have all tasted love before in one form or the other, majority of us inasmuch as we rarely ever talk about it have had our hearts broken once or twice. It’s fine if you decide you want to be, in the end it is your choice but I’m saying you don’t have to be “stupid in love”.
You can prepare for love like you would any exam or test and whenever it comes for you, you can love, be in the know as to the cost of your love and invest wisely in your love at the same time.

We all know of or in the very least have heard stories of that one person who was surprisingly holding on to what was clearly a toxic relationship or partner, sad to say, sometimes that person has been us, unwilling and ever reluctant to let go simply because we have invested so much without even realizing it.
“Love is blind” they say, so we do not stop intermittently to evaluate the cost of our love, we are only forced to so do when the relationship becomes a going concern, at this point we are baffled and overwhelmed by how much we’ve invested, even more alarmed and pained by the stark reality that it’s all about to “be for nothing”.

The average human response at this point is denial, the logical response however would be acceptance – acceptance that you’ve made a terrible, costly mistake, cut your losses and move on but hope typically will lead to denial and a last ditch attempt to savage what has been a bad investment, by investing even more, it is when this fails that grudgingly acceptance creeps in.
I’m no expert on love neither am I on business so I don’t see why anybody should have to listen to me on either of these fronts but the good book (which I believe stands as an authority for quite a few) says – “Which of you that wants to build a house and does not first calculate the cost, whether he is able to, lest he starts and he is unable to finish and becomes a laughing stock”.
It is important to, in the very least take a cursory look at the cost of your love before pursuit, periodic analysis and evaluation is also necessary even while in love.

The notion that love should be “allowed to flow”, as romantic and appealing as it seems, is not only lazy and risky but also irresponsible, if anything, understanding and careful evaluation of the cost of your love will help in maximizing the potentials of your love, it equips you with vital information whether your love is still a viable investment or has become a going concern, whether you are investing a lot or not enough, enabling you in the very least if nothing else to chart a well informed course of action.

I would be quick to concede that these things look easy on paper but less so when dopamine has kicked in and you are already planning happily ever after in your subconscious, love at this stage could compare to a train that has left its station and at the same time has lost its brakes, admittedly it’s difficult to think clearly at this point even more so to pause for anything – especially to calculate the cost.
However discipline is the key. It is true that information breeds knowledge but the ability to translate knowledge from its raw kinetic state into practical and beneficial use requires discipline, so that while they say – “Knowledge is Power”, I say – “The real power is discipline”.

We need to learn to overcome our emotions by force, all the more so when our well being is on the line but in the meantime while we are learning to overcome, we need to over ride our emotions. Focus on the essentials - when asking for directions you don't focus on the beautiful clothes your benefactor has on but on the words from his mouth.

There is nothing wrong in loving someone, being in love, Mahatma Gandhi said — “Where there is love there is life."

All I’ve said is — “Don’t be deceived, life itself is not free neither is love, whatever is, a price was, has to be paid.”

Is this copy and paste

ZINIBANKS:
Is this copy and paste

I don't understand sir.

iamgafar:


I don't understand sir.

Lemme interpret....he ask say se Nah your brain this writeup comes from or you copy from someone somewhere....

Talk true...

Gforce2015:



Lemme interpret....he ask say se Nah your brain this writeup comes from or you copy from someone somewhere....

Talk true...

Lol.

Follow me on medium sir.
@mynameisgafar

I'm a creative writer, the entire work came from me.