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His Wife Denies Him Sex Even When He Pays All The Bills - Family (13) - Nairaland

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My Wife Denies Me Sex Always / “My wife denies me my sexual rights”, husband tells court / Pastor Samson Farounbi: 'My Wife Denies Me Sex Over My Small Joystick' (2) (3) (4)

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Re: His Wife Denies Him Sex Even When He Pays All The Bills by DammyGbade(m): 11:27am On Aug 02, 2020
According to married women, there are several things that may cause sex denial in marriage.

1). Pains during intercourse
2). Infidelity in marriage
3). When man is not taking responsibility
4). Difficulties/pains during birth (some women gives birth only by C/S)
5). Fear of stress caused by pregnancy due to the nature of work the women does.
6). Family planning or fixing consception period by some women.

My advice to intending couple is to understand themselves better before going into marriage.

And to couples, instead of sharing your family matters with third parties or making it a public debate; sit yourselves down first, reason together, discuss sex not money and spend much time together.

Above all, Understanding is the key to a peaceful relationship, home and marriages.
Re: His Wife Denies Him Sex Even When He Pays All The Bills by RealAlubarika(m): 11:28am On Aug 02, 2020
Tunjingwu:
So I met my childhood friend yesterday at lekki.
He is still the elegant young man he has always been.

We spoke at length.
Nothing much has changed about him.
He is still very enthusiastic about life. An Engineer who after working with a firm is now on his own. Things are not very rosy but he can still hold his own.

We started talking about family since we all are married abielt for few years.

Here is the gist.....

He is contemplating having a girlfriend.
His wife hardly have sex with him.
Sometimes it takes 2 months for them to make love once. Nothing appears to be the problem other than the wife complaints of tiredness and not being in the mood for almost every time.
They have two kids(twins).

He had come to tell me to either approve or disapprove his strong intention of keeping a lady by the side since he can afford it comfortably.
I felt for him.

I disuaded him though I know how it feels to stay without sex with your wife under the same roof for months.

You pay all the bills yet you don't eat from the goody bag to your test.

Since yesterday, I have been a little worried for him. I do not know whether to call him and advise him to go ahead with his plan but try and be careful.

It's a dicey situation especially when the wife is not ready to change.
The man should stop been a weakling, he should communicate with the wife, if she continue without any improvement he should cheat on her period
Re: His Wife Denies Him Sex Even When He Pays All The Bills by Nobody: 11:41am On Aug 02, 2020

1 Like

Re: His Wife Denies Him Sex Even When He Pays All The Bills by Twenty8: 11:50am On Aug 02, 2020
Righteousness89:
Two wrongs make evenTwo Wrongs do not make a Right!

When there is an issue in the Home, you look for Solutions not for More issues and Problems...

When you have tried all you can and it didn't bring Solution, you try to Reach out Carefully to Matured, Experienced and Godly People around you. It could be Godly Counsellors, or Someone you know she listens to..

Many things Today, Creep into Homes in Different Names, Forms and Sizes. Some are physical, some are Spirtual! All it seeks for is to Destroy Homes.

Once the unity of the Home is Cracked, you Expose your Home to Confusion and Calamities. Don't break the Hedge.

So, Advice your Friend not to use His hands to Set His Home Ablaze...

You see the guy right Below my Summation, Pls ignore that Summation .

Many of them Here do not Understand what Marriage is. They think Marriage is a One Night Stand where you Hop in and hop out!
Re: His Wife Denies Him Sex Even When He Pays All The Bills by NigAmbassador: 11:51am On Aug 02, 2020
kikero:


If the guy who feels pressured for sex sleeps around now, his children would eventually curse him, even if his wife tries to make them believe their dad is really a good guy. Children do not like it when their mother is betrayed.

At this point... You made no realistic sense...
Re: His Wife Denies Him Sex Even When He Pays All The Bills by Twenty8: 11:52am On Aug 02, 2020
Righteousness89:
Two wrongs make evenTwo Wrongs do not make a Right!

When there is an issue in the Home, you look for Solutions not for More issues and Problems...

When you have tried all you can and it didn't bring Solution, you try to Reach out Carefully to Matured, Experienced and Godly People around you. It could be Godly Counsellors, or Someone you know she listens to..

Many things Today, Creep into Homes in Different Names, Forms and Sizes. Some are physical, some are Spirtual! All it seeks for is to Destroy Homes.

Once the unity of the Home is Cracked, you Expose your Home to Confusion and Calamities. Don't break the Hedge.

So, Advice your Friend not to use His hands to Set His Home Ablaze...

You see the guy right Below my Summation, Pls ignore that Summation .

Many of them Here do not Understand what Marriage is. They think Marriage is a One Night Stand where you Hop in and hop out!
Re: His Wife Denies Him Sex Even When He Pays All The Bills by Ladyhippolyta88(f): 12:13pm On Aug 02, 2020
Re: His Wife Denies Him Sex Even When He Pays All The Bills by AfroKnight: 12:18pm On Aug 02, 2020
Palema007:
You people have come again with misquoting the Bible. Anyway there's nothing wrong with regular sex but in situations where one don't want it regularly, you can only try to talk it out and spice your sexual life.


You are just jealousgrin tongue

Lol. Oya explain how I misquoted the bible. The context of our discussion is the importance of sex in marriage. In the scripture i referenced, sex is so important that it is enough reason for you to get married! Apostle Paul clearly stated that if you cannot control your sexual urge, "it is better to marry than to burn with passion." This shows that the desire to have sex is a valid reason to get married. This means "body no be firewood" so go and marry before konji will cause you to fornicate. The apostle didn't say singles should go and read their bibles when they're ho.rny, he says go and marry. Why? Cos that is the honorable way to satisfy your urge.



Talking has failed in that marriage. Do you actually believe the man kept mute and would wait for weeks before having sex WITHOUT DICUSSING WITH HER? If so, then who told him she was tired or not in the mood? Her sister? Her maid? Come on!

If you want to blame the man, then it certainly wouldn't be for NOT COMMUNICATING. He has raised the issue with her obviously. However, the woman has colonised her body and is frustrating the husband. Did he force her even when Nigerian laws don't recognise spousal rape? No. He would even wait for 2 months before she allowed him. That's a selfish and wicked wife.

If she is no longer attracted to him sexually, let her go. I would have suspected infidelity by the wife, but I know some women are crazy enough to deny themselves pleasure/happiness just so the man would feel the heat too. It could even be both.

This is deliberate and like I said I would not blame the man for finding suitable alternatives.

1 Like

Re: His Wife Denies Him Sex Even When He Pays All The Bills by Exodora: 12:21pm On Aug 02, 2020
One woman in my Vicinity was having same problem with her husband , so the husband reported the issue , when his wife was summoned she told them that her husband does not take his bath regularly , that there are times he comes back from work without taking his bath and it irritates her .
Re: His Wife Denies Him Sex Even When He Pays All The Bills by Okija1: 12:28pm On Aug 02, 2020
Bro send her away and train your kids with discipline, find a good wife and not a lady

1 Like

Re: His Wife Denies Him Sex Even When He Pays All The Bills by olmoRoc: 12:31pm On Aug 02, 2020
That's because she's getting it from outside.
Re: His Wife Denies Him Sex Even When He Pays All The Bills by Norman4real(m): 12:33pm On Aug 02, 2020
It's all quite simple. The wife has another dude that's screwing her senseless. She has no need for his mediocre Dick. The reason I say this is because I find it hard to believe that a sexually active woman can spend months without craving for sex, so if she's not getting it from the husband then there's someone else.
Be careful men, these women are out here messing up your lives and putting you through unnecessary depression

2 Likes

Re: His Wife Denies Him Sex Even When He Pays All The Bills by lagosrd: 12:34pm On Aug 02, 2020
JudasNaCarrot:
Sex is a natural phenomenon put in place by the CREATOR not only for procreation but also pleasure.

Every living thing have this natural urge to "do that thing" so it is very important in life.
The denial of this natural condition is a SIN against nature and the CREATOR. A woman who denies her husband of that is not only wicked but a MURDERER.

Tell your friend to communicate more with his wife, make her to come out of her rock shell and be flexible. Spend time outside home like a holiday resort on weekends,barbecues etc.
If all these things doesn't work then the man should go ahead and find himself a booty that can do the job at will because NYASH PLENTY EVERYWHERE YOU GO LIKE MTN.


Meanwhile, we the members of vaseline crew of Nigeria (VCN) can never have this kind of problem.

Complete nonsense. You're condoning what you wont be able to handle in future. Send her away . that is total bullshit . to denial your husband sex for silly excuses . report her to those she fear and threaten her with all manners. I seems not get most you g ladies nowadays , they try to control their husband psychologically these days.
The man pays all his bills
He comes home and no food
You misbehave at will
You loose concentration because of phones
You lack marital character. Too bad.

Then you re quick to complain the man is not taking care of you.
Tell him, if she denies him again he should also withdraw all the support he is giving to her.
Re: His Wife Denies Him Sex Even When He Pays All The Bills by lagosrd: 12:35pm On Aug 02, 2020
Exodora:
One woman in my Vicinity was having same problem with her husband , so the husband reported the issue , when his wife was summoned she told them that her husband does not take his bath regularly , that there are times he comes back from work without taking his bath and it irritates her .

What an excuse. Shamelessness of the highest order
Re: His Wife Denies Him Sex Even When He Pays All The Bills by Dminister(m): 12:37pm On Aug 02, 2020
Your friend is missing his wife's moaning. He wants to hear it more often.
Re: His Wife Denies Him Sex Even When He Pays All The Bills by Nobody: 12:40pm On Aug 02, 2020
NigAmbassador:


At this point... You made no realistic sense...

I then urge you to sleep around with other women than your wife.

You will have lots of children who won't have their father full time, and who will at the end of the day wonder why their father cannot be with them.

At which point they would be pissed and angry with you.

To say nothing of the potential for STI's which you would pick up...(and which puts money in my fellow colleague's pockets by the way, so thanks on their behalf in advance).

One of my mates had a father who wasn't around full time. Yes, the man had side chicks. On his deathbed, my friend's father told him 'Son, don't treat your wife the way I treated your mother'.

Good morning. If my wife should sleep around, the fault is from her. I will never, ever ever betray my marital vows, even if it means looking like a fool. The complications of doing so are far worse (and yes, part of my job has included treating the fall out of such complications, which is the main reason why I am not a fan of having side chicks, even if the wife refuses to have s'x.)

If after what I have told you, I am still not making sense, you are free to sleep around. Be free. Go ahead, and keep side chicks. You don't need my permission to do so. As for me, I have done my job and told you of the cosequences.....plus keeping side chicks because your wife does not want to give you sex shows that you are not mature enough to have a conversation, or a relationship at all.
Re: His Wife Denies Him Sex Even When He Pays All The Bills by Deoboss(m): 1:04pm On Aug 02, 2020
femi4:
Tell him to marry a 2nd wife

Seems his wife's libido is low

Her libido is low or she is hoarding herself on purpose.

1 Like

Re: His Wife Denies Him Sex Even When He Pays All The Bills by showafrica(m): 1:12pm On Aug 02, 2020
HarunaWest:
Advice him to divorce his wife.. Marriage is not by force. I don't know why young men of nowadays dey fvck up anyhow.
Get married to someone else and enjoy your life...

Life na only one and people still no wan enjoy am. He does not need to divorce her, just get a second wife with big nyash...
Re: His Wife Denies Him Sex Even When He Pays All The Bills by ACE1010: 1:13pm On Aug 02, 2020
HarunaWest:
Advice him to divorce his wife.. Marriage is not by force. I don't know why young men of nowadays dey fvck up anyhow.
Get married to someone else and enjoy your life...

Ahhhhhh lipsrsealed undecided lipsrsealed undecided

Re: His Wife Denies Him Sex Even When He Pays All The Bills by david290(m): 1:17pm On Aug 02, 2020
Marry someone you aren't sexually attracted to (either because the one you are attracted to isn't ready or financially capable). Wait until you have something to manipulate him with (usually kids). Their way, their world. For the Op's friend, I wish him plenty of luck cos he will need it.
Re: His Wife Denies Him Sex Even When He Pays All The Bills by clickwtB(m): 1:22pm On Aug 02, 2020
First let him check two angles
Either he is not smashing her well to her taste.
Or rather she has somebody else doing a better job than him and even loves him.
Secondly she has something he did or he is doing to her that she doesnt like?
Let him analyse this possible scenarios before taking a decision/stand.
Re: His Wife Denies Him Sex Even When He Pays All The Bills by Yus2020: 1:45pm On Aug 02, 2020
Married is scammer I will advice anyone who want to get married pls do serious background check because woman are something else
Re: His Wife Denies Him Sex Even When He Pays All The Bills by Emanodimo(m): 1:58pm On Aug 02, 2020
Jullima:

kiss kiss
The saddest irony is the romance, care and attention they refuse to give the wife is what they will shower the side chick for her to give them sex. However, they think the wife does not deserve romance, care and attention because they have paid bride price so they expect sex on demand from the wife.

U have a point, what if the woman feels that because she has given birth, he has no choice if she denied him sex?.

Because, she has given birth can make her feel entitled that she deserve better than what the man offered by comparing him with another man wealth..

They both need to iron it out....much that I know no sex isn't food or money.
Re: His Wife Denies Him Sex Even When He Pays All The Bills by Emanodimo(m): 2:00pm On Aug 02, 2020
david290:
Marry someone you aren't sexually attracted to (either because the one you are attracted to isn't ready or financially capable). Wait until you have something to manipulate him with (usually kids). Their way, their world. For the Op's friend, I wish him plenty of luck cos he will need it.

I assume u are right with ur observations.
Re: His Wife Denies Him Sex Even When He Pays All The Bills by CioAngels(f): 2:09pm On Aug 02, 2020
Hmm, so sad because you seem upright and sincere but she seem not. You both have parents I hope? Both in-laws can settle this as long as his wife is in good terms with his mother or both ways. For me on Godly people, the moment you start to bring in church into it, then you are in public domain as gossip will set in and the problem will escalate. It is same Godly people that will take your problems to tell best friends about your problems and that's all. Hope the woman is not pleasing herself outside.Taking another wife or girlfriend will disconnect your life forever. We women are becoming too dangerous. Your parents both sides is what you need. Good luck
Re: His Wife Denies Him Sex Even When He Pays All The Bills by Kingdanfodio: 2:18pm On Aug 02, 2020
OP, do you think its possible for a wife to turn her hubby down... Though am still single but i don't those baselex excuses are still in existence... My girlfriend can say NO to Me because i haven't paid anything on her head to make me claim her. But my wife can't dare, i won't force or argue with her but my next move will make her regret her action. Women doesn't have mood. That one na sure ticket
Re: His Wife Denies Him Sex Even When He Pays All The Bills by Redpark74: 2:22pm On Aug 02, 2020
This is a very common problem in many marriages today. The solution is not uncommon. He needs to quickly find himself a mistress that will meet his essential needs. Sex is an essential need after all.
As we know; regular sex (like 3 times a week) makes for a healthier life and a better mental health.
He shouldn't concern himself with the morals of having a mistress as that is neither here nor there.
Re: His Wife Denies Him Sex Even When He Pays All The Bills by ajl: 2:41pm On Aug 02, 2020
Tunjingwu:
So I met my childhood friend yesterday at lekki.
He is still the elegant young man he has always been.

We spoke at length.
Nothing much has changed about him.
He is still very enthusiastic about life. An Engineer who after working with a firm is now on his own. Things are not very rosy but he can still hold his own.

We started talking about family since we all are married abielt for few years.

Here is the gist.....

He is contemplating having a girlfriend.
His wife hardly have sex with him.
Sometimes it takes 2 months for them to make love once. Nothing appears to be the problem other than the wife complaints of tiredness and not being in the mood for almost every time.
They have two kids(twins).

He had come to tell me to either approve or disapprove his strong intention of keeping a lady by the side since he can afford it comfortably.
I felt for him.

I disuaded him though I know how it feels to stay without sex with your wife under the same roof for months.

You pay all the bills yet you don't eat from the goody bag to your test.

Since yesterday, I have been a little worried for him. I do not know whether to call him and advise him to go ahead with his plan but try and be careful.

It's a dicey situation especially when the wife is not ready to change.

What's the connection between paying bills and having sex with your wife. Well, better to pick up prostitutes if want it cheap. Nigerians and their warped mentality.
Re: His Wife Denies Him Sex Even When He Pays All The Bills by humilitypays(m): 2:53pm On Aug 02, 2020
Acidosis:


Very well said.

Truth is that there are no men that demand sex from their wives every day. Whenever we hear or read anything like that, a single guy must be behind the post.

Unless a married man is cursed, it would be very very impossible to make that demand.

The adrenaline rush some unmarried guys feel running from women to women in the name of sex does not work in marriage with one woman.

Most married men just go after other women because, all their lives, they are not used to being loyal to one woman. 99% of the time, it is not because of irregular sex.
You are so wise, knowledgeable and mature.

1 Like

Re: His Wife Denies Him Sex Even When He Pays All The Bills by avalon7(m): 3:08pm On Aug 02, 2020
Tecord1:
you spoke about moisturizing her libido with good money. And not finding marriage interesting in this part of the world. Need i remind you that marriage in the western world is all about partnership. Issues of money is contributed buy both man and the woman. Nigerian women will not treat their men the way western women do theirs. But want Nigerian men to treat them the way western men treat their women. Your entitlement mentality is something to worry about

Well said
Re: His Wife Denies Him Sex Even When He Pays All The Bills by avalon7(m): 3:17pm On Aug 02, 2020
CorGier:


Which one is eating from goody bag to your "test" again?

It's men like you that are making these women feel like they are doing you a favour each time they part their legs for you to ease into.

Have you ever made women cry their eyes out in your bed by simply denying them sex? That's the power that penìs of yours wields. If they've got a honey pot, we've got a sugar stick with balls the size as those on the god Adonis dripping with sweet juicy nectar.
It's not my place to advise a man to cheat, but tell him he needs to learn to instill dread in his woman; there should never be any doubt in her mind whatsoever that her not living up to his expectations wouldn't come with consequences.

He might choose to forget, but never forgive. That's a divorceable offense for some of us sef, and you would leave my kids for me - go and be tired no more. In Lil Baby's words why waste your time on a woman who hasn't got you on the front of her mind?

Lol... Go and be tired no more grin grin

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