I am in a relationship with a guy. When I met this guy we were living in the same compound, he asked me out, I refused because we stay in the same place to avoid fornication but we were very good friends that people thought we were dating. So I travelled for a few weeks and came back and he had started dating someone in the same compound, I felt bad though but I had to move on. So after one year we all relocated to different state, he also relocated to the same state. Then at a point he started communicating with me asking me to give him a chance again. At a point I accepted.

The issue:
For over two years after service he hasn't gotten a job. Though he engages in contract jobs. Also he had no accommodation of his own so visiting hardly happens.
He always calls, but we hardly see each other because each time I mentioned about visiting he gives one excuse or the other.
At a point i simply told him that he had been avoiding me. He said no, it is because he does not have a job and no money.
Even on my birthday he came because he felt I might be angry, not because he really wants to spend time with me. One excuse or the other usually comes up, so we ended up seeing only twice last year.

In January I had to request to visit him and his family, he was reluctant in the first place saying there is was no money for transportation, but I said I will foot a part so he agreed. I saw his family during the visit but I wasn't really introduced.
My problem:
We don't spend time together, before I thought it was because he was in a nearby state doing a contract job, but now he is back to the state I reside since December. After that visit in January I had never set my eyes on him but if I complain he will say money is the issue or gives excuse, though he still engage in some contract job. At a point he even asked me what plans I have for our relationship, and I told him as the man he is the one to decide. I once send him airtime and he told me not to try it again that I make him feel less of a man and I stopped.

Note: I had helped him apply for many jobs but non is working out, he can drive and also can install Dstv, but when I suggest him taking a driving job, he didn't make a move.

So recently i lost interest in this relationship.

Another guy in my current vicinity has been asking me out and I am not really into him but he is nice too, but I haven't fully unravel his character so I just had to accept though I don't really love him for now but hoping that the love will develop but that joy that comes with starting a love relationship is not there.

Note: I am in my late twenties.

Should I forget this new guy or still give him time or continue with the first guy. My mind is not really at peace.

Hmmm....I hope you get the needed advice but I'm coming ...I never booth finish...

It seems the second guy lives comfortably and has money. You don't also trust the first guy, or you have mixed feelings that he might leave you for someone else.

My advice for you is to wait for the elders for more comments... My Pentium 0.5 still dey booth

Just be very prayerful and hopeful

You sound desperate but the good news is that you left the dude because from your story, it can easily be deduced that you have been dating yourself all along. He avoided you for reasons best known to him but I can bet my balls that being broke was barely part of them.

Now to the bad news. You jumped into the arms of a man you don't really love simply because your relationship wasn't working and you hope to love him later. Wonderful.

Well, be ready to jump again when the one you will love wholeheartedly shows up someday and pray it doesn't happen after marriage.

Good luck.

Please don't be desperate, pretty dear. Desperation can lead to many vile things. Remember that marriage doesn't guarantee happiness. The society that you consider now may not be there in the future, so take your time while choosing a marriage mate.
.
Of course, anyone would look beyond outward appearance while choosing a car, how much more a marriage mate.
.
Be with sb who shares your beliefs; sb who is emotional, financially, physically and spiritually qualified.
.

At a point he even asked me what plans I have for our relationship, and I told him as the man he is the one to decide.

Really, the lady has a greater part to play in a relationship and its futuristic outcome; you have the right to who you want to spend eternity with. The key is dating sb who doesn't trivialize dating but understands it is a stepping stone to marriage.
Gracias.

I think the first guy is no more into you or he is not man enough to withstand u without having enough coins with him. I will suggest you should pay him a surprise visit during the weekend to see what he is up to and also, try to know the fate of your relationship with him. Lastly, try to workout with the second guy, get to know much about him and see if things will work out btw u 2.

You refused him at first on the grounds that both of you stayed closed, later your main issue is not spending enough time together bcus of distance. Then you start seeing someone else in your vicinity....

Women really have a special way of reasoning

In your late twenties ? Sister go and look for christ and STOP investing in GUYS

Please pay the first guy a surprise visit especially on a weekend and you will really know what the game is all about, it will determine if you will be patient with him or put more interest in the second guy.
Don't be in a hurry to decide yet.
But one advice, just carry small cloth for your bag if you no want your handcachief to wet, because you go cry come back.

'I'm in my late twenties' thats why u bring yourself down like this, if not gils when i know wella. Marriage is knocking.
i am not married yet, so i dont have any mature advice.
but i wish you well.

Heheheh ladies and gentlemen

The hoe phase is finally over and the clock is hastily ticking.
Should I start mourning for the luckless man that'd get tied up in marriage a fraudulent scheme with some late night newspaper or should I mind my business?
Thinking.....







OK lemme go for the latter
[img]https:///view/drive-off-unbothered-bye-dog-gif-14871111.gif[/img]







Pukes

U owe no one any commitments until u are engaged. Even some engagement ain't worth the stress. (didn't say u should turn a community borehole however) Pls feel free to date the new guy. Leave age outta it and relax. Marriage will happen eventually OK?
Allow Guy #1 to find his path and mentally support him as always, but don't walk out yet. U may not be in his life to be his wife but just there for the sole purpose of inspiring him to greatness. For now u are dating urself.
Just be the kind of woman u would wanna marry if u were a guy.

No advice for who.res. Date who you want to date, fvck who you want to fvck that's your life problem.

My sister..even the bible says "test all spirit"..so,i advice u test all,then know where to park permenantly.

Never underestimate the power of good communication. Sit him down or over the phone (the one you've been dating for over two years now) and talk, use that medium and get clarification.

But I'll advice, you take sometime out, no dating, no guys..just do you.

Money makes a relationship to work faster, but be prayerful sha
I would have asked you to do Istikhara assuming ....

The guys brokenness is the reason why he is avoiding you.

And again he is still staying with his family.

Note: I am in my late twenties.

The boldfaced above. What has that got to do with anything?

You Nigerian ladies in particular get so shit scared when you are in your late twenties, why? You guys pay too much attention to what the ill informed society says and in the rush to get married make bad decisions that you live with for the rest of your lives.

Damn you guys need to work on this.

I have female colleagues that got married in their thirties and I never for once noticed them acting all desperate.

Thanks. I will work on that, I will take the fear off my mind.

UDUJ:
Note: I am in my late twenties.

The boldfaced above. What has that got to do with anything?

You Nigerian ladies in particular get so shit scared when you are in your late twenties, why? You guys pay too much attention to what the ill informed society says and in the rush to get married make bad decisions that you live with for the rest of your lives.

Damn you guys need to work on this.

I have female colleagues that got married in their thirties and I never for once noticed them acting all desperate.

Homeboiy:
The guys brokenness is the reason why he is avoiding you.

And again he is still staying with his family.

Do you think a guy can love you and still avoid spending time with you, because at times I get scared.

Though I have had a dream about twice where he wasn't paying attention also to me in this dream, could it be my imagination or a revelation.

I think your boyfriend is a shy person
Like him get shame as a man... and he doesn't want you to see him as a weak man or look down on him cause he doesn't have

Because if he was just using you to pass time
He wouldn't mind you sending him card
Like he will accept any money from you

Driving is risky... maybe that's why he doesn't want to accept the job

Just try and understand him ....cuz he needs you now

Just saying shaa ...

I don't know why Some guys speak so Ill about ladies. Maybe your experience and environment has a lot to do with that, Change your mindset.

And to your statement, note I have not slept with any of these guys or any guy I have dated in the past, so there was nothing like whoring stage.

I might be feeling a bit pressured to settle but it does not make any man unlucky to be with me at this stage.

quote author=iTearHerToto post=92437205]Heheheh ladies and gentlemen

The hoe phase is finally over and the clock is hastily ticking.
Should I start mourning for the luckless man that'd get tied up in marriage a fraudulent scheme with some late night newspaper or should I mind my business?
Thinking.....







OK lemme go for the latter
[img]https:///view/drive-off-unbothered-bye-dog-gif-14871111.gif[/img]







Pukes [/quote]

OK. Thanks.

Mandyvicky:
I think your boyfriend is a shy person
Like him get shame as a man... and he doesn't want you to see him as a weak man or look down on him cause he doesn't have

Because if he was just using you to pass time
He wouldn't mind you sending him card
Like he will accept any money from you

Driving is risky... maybe that's why he doesn't want to accept the job

Just try and understand him ....cuz he needs you now

Just saying shaa ...

Niela:


I am in a relationship with a guy. When I met this guy we were living in the same compound, he asked me out, I refused because we stay in the same place to avoid fornication but we were very good friends that people thought we were dating. So travel for a few weeks and came back and he had started dating someone in the same compound, I felt bad though but I had to move on. So after one year we all relocated to different state, he also relocated to the same state. Then at a point he started communicating with me asking me to give him a chance again. At a point I accepted.

The issue:
For over two years after service he hasn't gotten a job. Though engages in contract jobs. Also he had no accommodation of his own so visiting hardly happens.
He always calls, but we hardly see each other because each time I mentioned about visiting he gives one excuse or the other.
At a point i simply told him you are avoiding me. He said no, its because he does not have a job and no money.
Even on my birthday he came because he felt I might be angry, not because he really wants to spend time with me. One excuse or the other usually comes up, so we ended up seeing only twice last year.

In January I had to request to visit him and his family, he was reluctant in the first place saying there is no money for transportation, but I said I will foot a part so he agreed. I did. Saw his family but I wasn't really introduced.
My problem:
We don't spend time together, before I thought it was because he was in a nearby state doing a contract job, but now he is back to the state I reside since December. After that visit in January I had never set my eyes on him but if I complain he will say money is the issue or gives excuse, though he still engage in some contract job. At a point he even asked me what plans I have for our relationship, and I told him as the man he is the one to decide. I once send him airtime and he told me not to try it again that I make him feel less of a man and I stopped.

Note: I had helped him apply for many jobs but non is working out, he can drive and also can install Dstv, but when I suggest him taking a driving job, he didn't make a move.

So recently i lost interest in this relationship.

Another guy in my current vicinity has been asking me out and I am not really into him but he is nice too, but I haven't fully unravel his character so I just had to accept though I don't really love him for now but hoping that the love will develop but that joy that comes with starting a love relationship is not there.

Note: I am in my late twenties.

Should I forget this new guy or still give him time or continue with the first guy. My mind is not really at peace.

Inside life, and am somewhere in Nigeria begging my girlfriend to come see me.. With an all expens paid trip.
We never even see this year.
I am still begging her parents to accept my proposal.. I just they wonder.

Well u just have to find peace with yourself.
Tell him exactly how u feel snd give him a time frame.
If there is still no change, u have to save urself.

punisha:
U owe no one any commitments until u are engaged. Even some engagement ain't worth the stress. (didn't say u should turn a community borehole however) Pls feel free to date the new guy. Leave age outta it and relax. Marriage will happen eventually OK?
Allow Guy #1 to find his path and mentally support him as always, but don't walk out yet. U may not be in his life to be his wife but just there for the sole purpose of inspiring him to greatness. For now u are dating urself.
Just be the kind of woman u would wanna marry if u were a guy.

Be with him while serious men keep passing her by? D first guy is simply a time waster with a block head.

Take a break

Op
The first is not serious about you and I don't need to stress on that as he seems to me a time waster possibly he's seeing as just a mere gf.
In a year u saw twice, who has he been seeing?
I will suggest, u give yourself a break.

Breathe fresh air and I mean real fresh air.

Then launch into the deep. I believe you will have a great catch this time around.

I wish all the best

Juliusmomoh:
In your late twenties ? Sister go and look for christ and STOP investing in GUYS

will she marry christ ni? Na dis kind advice dey make religious people look bad Aswear

Relationship takes effort, marriage sef na effort, u gas dey actively engaged in it to make it work, if she's meeting different guys to know who to spend the rest of her life no biggies, Christ has a role to play in her conduct but she won't marry Christ na,kuku tell her to get clay, mould her spec of man and breathe life into it sef, na wa for compound people oo

JERRY1925:


Inside life, and am somewhere in Nigeria begging my girlfriend to come see me.. With an all expens paid trip.
We never even see this year.
I am still begging her parents to accept my proposal.. I just they wonder.

Well u just have to find peace with yourself.
Tell him exactly how u feel snd give him a time frame.
If there is still no change, u have to save urself.

When dem bin tell you say "This life no balance" you think say joke?

RealEzee:
will she marry christ ni? Na dis kind advice dey make religious people look bad Aswear

Relationship takes effort, marriage sef na effort, u gas dey actively engaged in it to make it work, if she's meeting different guys to know who to spend the rest of her life no biggies, Christ has a role to play in her conduct but she won't marry Christ na,kuku tell her to get clay, mould her spec of man and breathe life into it sef, na wa for compound people oo

She should have ask CHRIST directly, instead of jumping from one guy to another for God to approve one

Juliusmomoh:

She should have ask CHRIST directly, instead of jumping from one guy to another for God to approve one

she will need to have options to ask which is good, true or false?