"This thread is my Advise to the young man living with his wife and sister in-law in a room self con"



I read on this forum about a young man and his wife living in a room self con and the wife's sister is living with them. Everyone criticized him and advised him to save and get a bigger apartment and live comfortably (Instead of saving to increase your stream of income, you are saving to increase your liability "rent" how are you gonna get out of poverty when you are increasing your liability and expense on a fixed income? Sadly the ladies were encouraging the young man to SAVE and (become poorer) get a bigger apartment without thinking twice. (May God deliver is from partners without wisdom)

I will use a real life scenario to support the subject.
My dad got married at about 26, gave birth to 8 children in a single room(3.6mx3.6m). My dad worked as a bank security guard all his life (All his eight children are/were bankers). My mum was into ajo/esusu. We lived in that single room until my oldest brother got a job.Who says you can't start a family in a single room? let alone a self con. Listen, we are all going to make different degrees of sacrifices to get a better life. You better start now.

Let us use my dad as a case. If he had waited(for years) for the situation to improve, before he started giving birth, he would have been too old/weak to give my elder ones (then teenagers) the beatings they deserve to keep them in check while growing up in the ghettos.

You will have to focus on what is important on time. I could remember when my dad deprived us of a coloured TV. My mum had saved a little for us to purchase our neighbors spoilt coloured TV. My dad took part of the money to buy an Oxford dictionary for my oldest brother. My siblings and I got so angry that we wanted to read up/ copy out the whole dictionary and sell it the next day.

Thirdly his income never improve! (his meager salary increase could not knock off inflation) This is life and is real. you may never have that increased income. Are you going to pause your life hoping for an increased income? "you don't get caught up on where you would rather be and fail to make the best use of where you are."

Fourthly, you will have an increased sense of responsibility. My dad knew the value of a bottle of beer. A bottle of beer then was N40 naira. That is equivalent to 4 exercise books. Instead of having Deborah waiting for him early in the morning for books, he will decline the beer.

With the right training and God, you may not have to LABOUR for too long. at 56 my three of my siblings were graduates and gainfully employed and forced him to stop working. we had relocated to a three bedroom apartment. At 60 my Dad became a high chief. @65 he was Knighted and we gifted him and my mum the duplex he had always fantasised about and his Son in-laws once gifted him a car each ( imagine you have five son in-laws). At 56, the first child of my dad's closest friend was 12.

Lastly, do not allow narrow minded people impair your judgement. Narrow minded people are dangerous. They don't have a game plan. they just want to live comfortably (big rented apartment own a car with all their savings) and retire to nothing. These are the set of people that will see their children going into crime to make money and they will look away. They want to "meet-up". There is nothing wrong seeing a young man hustling and sacrificing for his family. There is something wrong seeing an old man struggling.

When I got my first job after a year, I was entitled to about 2m for a car loan, I took the loan, use one of my brother's car to front. I got married (while living in my elder sister's BQ a single room selfcon and I gave birth there.)with part of the loan, I used the other part to complete my professional certification cos I was paying in USD. After repaying part of the loan for a few months, I borrowed from my sister to pay back the outstanding on the loan. I left the company for one of the big 4 audit firm. worked there for two years and I came back to my former company on a middle management grade.

Many may disagree with the subject, but while we argue about the correctness or suitability of the subject, our greatest enemy "time" is ticking.

Finally brethren, beware of narrow minded people! flee from them. They always want chop chop and comfort at the present they are myopic.

This is deep. I must confess, I really learnt a great lesson from your story.

I agree with you on most of your points

One more thing is to give birth to less children, two or at most three

The less children you have nowadays the better

Training 8 children of different gender in a room is terrible and won't work in the this century

Absolutely true

Bro,you know grace differs,if you allow people's comments to shape your life means you are a gonna..my case...I was born and into a polygamous family and I decided I won't follow that line,in other to put a stop to that I had to get married because I was getting attracted to too much free kpekus from different angles.Had a job with pay a little bit above 50k,had one special girl I loved wella I spoke to her about us getting married and she agreed (she knew how much much I earn)spoke to my dad about getting married and he asked me if had reach the age of getting married,I was 29 by then but had hussle for my self since I was 19,I asked him the right age to marry he didn't reply he saw I was determine and had no option but to support me,did my marriage the way I could afford to by limiting cost I was and indoor t.m,came back to my selfcon room with my wife and God has been blessi g us now living better than yesterday and I have a child to call me daddy.being married is the best decision I took if not I would have fallen into the line of being polygamist. Even the Bible said"DESPISE NOT THE DAYS OF YOUR LITTLE BEGINNING"being down isn't bad but agreeing to stay down is what makes it bad.

How do I get the guy to see this. So that he doesn't make a mistake. @lalasticlala locate him.

Nice one! We all gonna keep pushing until something big drops. Family I'd everything. Starting early is key.

Poverty na bastard!
Are we really using your Dad as an example here? Devil is a liar.

Hideki:
"This thread is my Advise to the young man living with his wife and sister in-law in a room self con"



I read on this forum about a young man and his wife living in a room self con and the wife's sister is living with them. Everyone criticized him and advised him to save and get a bigger apartment and live comfortably (Instead of saving to increase your stream of income, you are saving to increase your liability "rent" how are you gonna get out of poverty when you are increasing your liability and expense on a fixed income? Sadly the ladies were encouraging the young man to SAVE and (become poorer) get a bigger apartment without thinking twice. (May God deliver is from partners without wisdom)

I will use a real life scenario to support the subject.
My dad got married at about 26, gave birth to 8 children in a single room(3.6mx3.6m). My dad worked as a bank security guard all his life (All his eight children are/were bankers). My mum was into ajo/esusu. We lived in that single room until my oldest brother got a job.Who says you can't start a family in a single room? let alone a self con. Listen, we are all going to make different degrees of sacrifices to get a better life. You better start now.

Let us use my dad as a case. If he had waited(for years) for the situation to improve, before he started giving birth, he would have been too old/weak to give my elder ones (then teenagers) the beatings they deserve to keep them in check while growing up in the ghettos.

You will have to focus on what is important on time. I could remember when my dad deprived us of a coloured TV. My mum had saved a little for us to purchase our neighbors spoilt coloured TV. My dad took part of the money to buy an Oxford dictionary for my oldest brother. My siblings and I got so angry that we wanted to read up/ copy out the whole dictionary and sell it the next day.

Thirdly his income never improve! (his meager salary increase could not knock off inflation) This is life and is real. you may never have that increased income. Are you going to pause your life hoping for an increased income? "you don't get caught up on where you would rather be and fail to make the best use of where you are."

Fourthly, you will have an increased sense of responsibility. My dad knew the value of a bottle of beer. A bottle of beer then was N40 naira. That is equivalent to 4 exercise books. Instead of having Deborah waiting for him early in the morning for books, he will decline the beer.

With the right training and God, you may not have to LABOUR for too long. at 56 my three of my siblings were graduates and gainfully employed and forced him to stop working. we had relocated to a three bedroom apartment. At 60 my Dad became a high chief. @65 he was Knighted and we gifted him and my mum the duplex he had always fantasised about and his Son in-laws once gifted him a car each ( imagine you have five son in-laws). At 56, the first child of my dad's closest friend was 12.

Lastly, do not allow narrow minded people impair your judgement. Narrow minded people are dangerous. They don't have a game plan. they just want to live comfortably (big rented apartment own a car with all their savings) and retire to nothing. These are the set of people that will see their children going into crime to make money and they will look away. They want to "meet-up". There is nothing wrong seeing a young man hustling and sacrificing for his family. There is something wrong seeing an old man struggling.

When I got my first job after a year, I was entitled to about 2m for a car loan, I took the loan, use one of my brother's car to front. I got married (while living in my elder sister's BQ a single room selfcon and I gave birth there.)with part of the loan, I used the other part to complete my professional certification cos I was paying in USD. After repaying part of the loan for a few months, I borrowed from my sister to pay back the outstanding on the loan. I left the company for one of the big 4 audit firm. worked there for two years and I came back to my former company on a middle management grade.

Many may disagree with the subject, but while we argue about the correctness or suitability of the subject, our greatest enemy "time" is ticking.

Finally brethren, beware of narrow minded people! flee from them. They always want chop chop and comfort at the present they are myopic.

bizme:
Poverty na bastard!
Are we really using your Dad as an example here? Devil is a liar.

Lol I tell you, Very Useless Post........Encouraging Poverty, Hopeless Filthy Idiots......

bizme:
Poverty na bastard!
Are we really using your Dad as an example here? Devil is a liar.

OK, let me ask you, who created the poverty in the first place? I have worked over 7 years in Finance and banking and 70% of employees of all the FMCG/Manufacturing sectors earn between 70-100k this is because the use more of contract employees. In the financial sector, 60 percent of bank employees are on contract and earn less than a 100k. How much is a two bedroom apartment in Ikeja? That is around 700k per annum. Now 60-70% of most employees earn less than a 100k and you expect them to live in a 700k apartment? Now I want you to brainstorm and bring on a good game plan for that fellow living in a single room.

Westernlove:
This Is one the most useless, deluded filthy post I've ever seen on the cyberspace....... Ten people In a single room and you still had the effrontery to come online and publicize It?? Jesus!!! You are shameless and need to be arrested Immediately. It will never be well with you people encouraging and breeding poverty all In the name starting early and having offspring, Your likes cannot and will never easily assist someone who haven't experienced or fall Into the category of the harsh reality your filthy wicked parent put you through In life because you will feel the person Is Lazy or Unambitious.......With your likes, your parents and siblings In abundance, The world will never be a better place like the way Nigeria Is, Thank God your likes and your parents are not the ones In charge of affairs of the better nations......

OK, let me ask you, who created the poverty in the first place? I have worked over 7 years in Finance and banking and 70% of employees of all the FMCG/Manufacturing sectors earn between 70-100k this is because the use more of contract employees. In the financial sector, 60 percent of bank employees are on contract and earn less than a 100k. How much is a two bedroom apartment in Ikeja? That is around 700k per annum. Now 60-70% of most employees earn less than a 100k and you expect them to leave in a 700k apartment? Now I want you to brainstorm and bring on a good game plan for that fellow living in a single room.

Westernlove:
This Is one the most useless, deluded filthy post I've ever seen on the cyberspace....... Ten people In a single room and you still had the effrontery to come online and publicize It?? Jesus!!! You are shameless and need to be arrested Immediately. It will never be well with you people encouraging and breeding poverty all In the name starting early and having offspring, Your likes cannot and will never easily assist someone who haven't experienced or fall Into the category of the harsh reality your filthy wicked parent put you through In life because you will feel the person Is Lazy or Unambitious.......With your likes, your parents and siblings In abundance, The world will never be a better place like the way Nigeria Is, Thank God your likes and your parents are not the ones In charge of affairs of the better nations......

I am very proud of what I have achieved and what we have achieved. You should be proud of what and all you have got. I may not have gotten the best of childhood. But I am greatful for what I have. I am greatful to be part of my family success story.

Westernlove:
This Is one the most useless, deluded filthy post I've ever seen on the cyberspace....... Ten people In a single room and you still had the effrontery to come online and publicize It?? Jesus!!! You are shameless and need to be arrested Immediately. It will never be well with you people encouraging and breeding poverty all In the name starting early and having offspring, Your likes cannot and will never easily assist someone who haven't experienced or fall Into the category of the harsh reality your filthy wicked parent put you through In life because you will feel the person Is Lazy or Unambitious.......With your likes, your parents and siblings In abundance, The world will never be a better place like the way Nigeria Is, Thank God your likes and your parents are not the ones In charge of affairs of the better nations......

My wife was still serving when I got married. I was earning 185,000 monthly and I was living in my sisters
BQ. It was a single room selfcon. Trust me we enjoyed it back then.

I will really appreciate anyone that will disagree with the subject and come up with a silver bullet so that we can kill poverty once and for all. Guys I will tell you this 6 months into my first employment, I had colleagues who were already in debt. It is better to prepare children than to repair adults. Have your kids on your income, and train them to be upright. It doesn't stop you from increasing your hustle.

Lol.

I couldn't read the entire epistle, but with the little part I read.......

There's really no sense in starting early and bringing children into poverty and suffering.

In fact, it is even better not to have children, than to bring them around to come and suffer, all because "you want to start early".

This is because, the poorer you are, the more difficult it will be for your children to become financially comfortable.

This is why children of rich people are always rich while poor people keep breeding their kind.


The fact that it worked for your parent and you does not necessarily mean it will work for everyone.

Just the way it worked for your parents, we have lots of people it didn't work for, so advising him to start giving birth to children is really wrong.


Also, it appears you also suffered, because you have to start hustling early (At a time where you'll still be dependent on your parent assuming they were comfortable). There's also many things you got denied due to your parent's poverty.

You want his children to miss all this too? That's wickedness!!!

---

That said, I probably missed the earlier thread, but it doesn't make sense as well to be saving up to rent a bigger apartment.

One of the basic rules of becoming rich, which I read in the book, "The richest man in Babylon" is to OWN THE PLACE YOU LIVE.

The more rent you pay, the more difficult it'll be for you to invest in profit yielding businesses.

When you save, save up for a profit yielding investment, Not a liability!!!

Aside your story, you meant he should save to invest right? That's okay. But you know there are preferences and only the young man can decide his preference. Saving is good, what to do with it is the savers choice. But I share your opinion on the guys matter. Perhaps he might be so fortunate to invest in something that's so profiting and then move on to get another apartment.

Ayemileto:
Lol.

I couldn't read the entire epistle, but with the little part I read.......

There's really no sense in starting early and bringing children into poverty and suffering.

In fact, it is even better not to have children, than to bring them around to come and suffer, all because "you want to start early".

This is because, the poorer you are, the more difficult it will be for your children to become financially comfortable.

This is why children of rich people are always rich while poor people keep breeding their kind.


The fact that it worked for your parent and you does not necessarily mean it will work for everyone.

Just the way it worked for your parents, we have lots of people it didn't work for, so advising him to start giving birth to children is really wrong.


Also, it appears you also suffered, because you have to start hustling early (At a time where you'll still be dependent on your parent assuming they were comfortable). There's also many things you got denied due to your parent's poverty.

You want his children to miss all this too? That's wickedness!!!

---

That said, I probably missed the earlier thread, but it doesn't make sense as well to be saving up to rent a bigger apartment.

One of the basic rules of becoming rich, which I read in the book, "The richest man in Babylon" is to OWN THE PLACE YOU LIVE.

The more rent you pay, the more difficult it'll be for you to invest in profit yielding businesses.

When you save, save up for a profit yielding investment, Not a liability!!!

Hmmm so, because one is poor, one should not marry and reproduce? So you are suggesting that for us to have a saner Nigeria, about 40% of Nigerians that live in abject poverty with no hope of a breakthrough should stop existing? Dude wake up. I am the last born of my family and grew up around Alausa. Some of my high school friends from the same neighborhood are doing good. I mean very good! (some not so good) and that is life. People can't stop living because they are poor. When you marry at 45 because you were chasing money are you wise?

Your father had 8 children in a self con? Tufiakwa!

I advised the couple to let the sis go. She must not stay there. It is a shameful thing. Let them manage and Eke out a life for themselves there not carrying another person's problem.

8 children
Let me say this,you were all given birth to when Nigeria was still Nigeria not now that it's already niageria
Anyone who try to give birth to 8 children now will later hang him/herself
To raise three children now is something else
But come to think of it why is your dad so...... 8 children!!!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

LadySarah:

Your father had 8 children in a self con? Tufiakwa!

I advised the couple to let the sis go. She must not stay there. It is a shameful thing. Let them manage and Eke out a life for themselves there not carrying another person's problem.

The sister-in-law living with him is his choice. It is his prerogative to either tell her to go or stay. There is nothing wrong/shameful in starting poor. Finishing poor is not so good and that is life.

Hideki:
Hmmm so, because one is poor, one should not marry and reproduce? So you are suggesting that for us to have a saner Nigeria, about 40% of Nigerians that live in abject poverty with no hope of a breakthrough should stop existing?

Nobody said they should stop existing. Reproducing in poverty is the main point of contention here!

Dude wake up. I am the last born of my family and grew up around Alausa.

Lol. I get it now. You're the last born. I doubt the first or second born of your family will go around advising people to get married and start having children when not financially stable.

Some of my high school friends from the same neighborhood are doing good. I mean very good! (some not so good) and that is life. People can't stop living because they are poor.

Why many of them can be doing good, I'm 100% sure they wouldn't have needed to make as much sacrifice as they made to get to where they are today, if their parents were financially stable before bringing them to the world.

Also, I'm 100 percent sure they would have passed the current level they are financially, if their parents were financially comfortable before bringing them to the world.

I never said they won't do good. But they will have to struggle, go through untold hardship, miss many opportunities and sacrifice much more than they would have done, had their parents be financially comfortable!!!

When you marry at 45 because you were chasing money are you wise?

Yes. Like I said earlier, It's better not to get married and produce offsprings, than to bring them into this world to come and suffer.


Peace.

Hideki:
Hmmm so, because one is poor, one should not marry and reproduce? So you are suggesting that for us to have a saner Nigeria, about 40% of Nigerians that live in abject poverty with no hope of a breakthrough should stop existing? Dude wake up. I am the last born of my family and grew up around Alausa. Some of my high school friends from the same neighborhood are doing good. I mean very good! (some not so good) and that is life. People can't stop living because they are poor. When you marry at 45 because you were chasing money are you wise?

Uncle anyone that want to bring babies in poverty should go on with it already .. some months ago , a lady killed her children because she can't cope .

As for me I can't marry Until I have things in place for my kids .. things to fall back to and more ( makes life easier for them including their plans to achieve more )


My papa have three HOUSES and five lands ( untouched)
Uncle seeing this eeeh .. joy just full my heart

I wish I can explain more but bringing children into this hard world without proper planning is not worth it ...

Those who have ears , let them hear ( in my pastor's voice)

Edyice:



Uncle anyone that want to bring babies in poverty should go on with it already .. some months ago , a lady killed her children because she can't cope .

As for me I can't marry Until I have things in place for my kids .. things to fall back to and more ( makes life easier for them including their plans to achieve more )


My papa have three HOUSES and five lands ( untouched)
Uncle seeing this eeeh .. joy just full my heart

I wish I can explain more but bringing children into this hard world without proper planning is not worth it ...

Those who have ears , let them hear ( in my pastor's voice)

Ensure you solidify the plans and bring it to fruition. Some people plans are their low paying jobs. Let them begin their lives with it. It wouldn't matter to me now if my dad had houses or not. This is because I have started acquiring the little I can.

Ogar wetin u dey write? Your dad gave birth to you guys in a single room does that mean you must also follow the status quo in the family. Yes my parent are also average but I will never and I mean never marry being average and staying in a self contain...
Yes, getting a beta room might be a liability but if we keep running from certain expenses all in the name of liability then people will start wearing rags.

This post is typically a post for mediocre people. Must people suffer in the name of marriage

Ayemileto:


Nobody said they should stop existing. Reproducing in poverty is the main point of contention here!



Lol. I get it now. You're the last born. I doubt the first or second born of your family will go around advising people to get married and start having children when not financially stable.



Why many of them can be doing good, I'm 100% sure they wouldn't have needed to make as much sacrifice as they made to get to where they are today, if their parents were financially stable before bringing them to the world.

Also, I'm 100 percent sure they would have passed the current level they are financially, if their parents were financially comfortable before bringing them to the world.

I never said they won't do good. But they will have to struggle, go through untold hardship, miss many opportunities and sacrifice much more than they would have done, had their parents be financially comfortable!!!




Yes. Like I said earlier, It's better not to get married and produce offsprings, than to bring them into this world to come and suffer.


Peace.

Like I said, we have to make different degrees of sacrifices to make it in life. If waiting until you have enough before starting a family then we need to anlayse your enough. You are like a politician stating that we should discontinue the importation of fairly used clothes but keep up with fairly used planes. Now it will not be fair to your kids if you send them to a FGC or a close by private high school. The standard should be British International School or Loyola Jesuit. It will be unfair if your kids don't have at least 5million each invested in a hedge fund for them at birth. Because that is the least most comfortable people I know do. If you can't do these don't bring ur kids to suffer. I agree with your philosophy

Hideki:
My wife was still serving when I got married. I was earning 185,000 monthly and I was living in my sisters
BQ. It was a single room selfcon. Trust me we enjoyed it back then.

Like seriously. I will never get married staying with any sis or Bro.
You earn 185k and yet you and ur wife are staying in your sis BQ , making the husband inconvenient.
I rather drink garri in my own one room Dan depend on anybody

gunners160:
Ogar wetin u dey write? Your dad gave birth to you guys in a single room does that mean you must also follow the status quo in the family. Yes my parent are also average but I will never and I mean never marry being average and staying in a self contain...
Yes, getting a beta room might be a liability but if we keep running from certain expenses all in the name of liability then people will start wearing rags.

These post is typically a post for mediocre people. Must people suffer in the name of marriage

while living in a self con. I was earning 185k. I was writing my ACCA and FRM, they were expensive and gulping my savings. I needed to get married and have kids. My present rent is over 500k per annum. Bro! for once I a m never bothered about my present never!

LadySarah:

Your father had 8 children in a self con? Tufiakwa!

I advised the couple to let the sis go. She must not stay there. It is a shameful thing. Let them manage and Eke out a life for themselves there not carrying another person's problem.

Gbam. ur Brain get oil

gunners160:

Gbam. ur Brain get oil

It was not even a self con , it was a single room. There were few single room self con in the early '90s..

Hideki:
while living in a self con. I was earning 185k. I was writing my ACCA and FRM, they were expensive and gulping my savings. I needed to get married and have kids. My present rent is over 500k per annum. Bro! for once I a m never bothered about my present never!

Honestly , in as much as I respect individual differences ehn, u really called the wrong shoot.
Yes, a friend of mine got married staying in his parent's self con but I wont be so selfish by making another person inconvenient.

Them no get late comer for marriage and if one has a dream, fulfil it first before any other thing. To you its nothing , but so you care to knw how ur sister feels, how the husband feels, how ur wife feel staying in ur sis BQ?
Things will get Yes, things will also be beta when u are single and chasing ur dreams. U must not bring children out to suffer

gunners160:

Like seriously. I will never get married staying with any sis or Bro.
You earn 185k and yet you and ur wife are staying in your sis BQ , making the husband inconvinent.
I rather drink garri in my own one room Dan depend on anybody

FRM and ACCA was draining my pockets. We both knew things were going to change. It was a sacrifice we both had to make at that time. Risk consulting payed big time afterwards.