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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My Sister Cancels Her Wedding. Is She Doing The Right Thing? (62805 Views)
Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It / I Am Scared! My Wedding Is This Month & I Haven't Told My Fiancé About My 3 Kids / Am I Wicked Or Did I Do The Right Thing? (2) (3) (4)
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Re: My Sister Cancels Her Wedding. Is She Doing The Right Thing? by Yoighaman(m): 2:51am On Aug 11, 2020 |
OluwaLina1: Sometimes, we need to put on our objectivity cap when addressing issues concerning marriage. Many, especially Christians are quick to jump to quoting bible verses to support their position due to their subjective outlook. Look, you can have another husband, maybe more than 2, you can also have another wife, maybe even more than 3, but you see, you can never have another mother. God forbid, if you went stark broke with no dime in your pocket, then you will who know truly loves you. I can bet that if the situation persists for too long, and your wife's endurance has been stretched to the limit, she would dump your sorry broke ass, not all women though but majority of them; when that happens, don't worry, just turn your head and you will see the unconditional loving arms of your mother wide open to receive and comfort you. In the history of humanity when men have been faced with great battles and vicissitudes of life, look clearly and very well, you will not see the wife around, not even the father, it is the mother that would be there weeping, even if the child is facing public execution. Love your woman, treat her with respect, take good care of her but never replace your mother with her; always understand and remember what this article started with, "YOU CAN HAVE ANOTHER WIFE, BUT NOT ANOTHER MOTHER". ...and @OP, to answer your question, your sister's decision is neither right nor wrong; neither black nor white, the cup can be half-full or half-empty; the couple should put their current situation in the right and proper perspective and take a joint decision, either to stay or go their separate ways; again, always remember; "Never enter into a negotiation you are not ready to walk away from" Cheers. |
Re: My Sister Cancels Her Wedding. Is She Doing The Right Thing? by freeborn02: 3:14am On Aug 11, 2020 |
J111333: It.is dumb to take your wife to your family house to go and live. Only an idiot of a man behaves like that. 2 Likes |
Re: My Sister Cancels Her Wedding. Is She Doing The Right Thing? by oshaosha2014(m): 3:15am On Aug 11, 2020 |
Lol... you are not a serious human being. J111333: 1 Like |
Re: My Sister Cancels Her Wedding. Is She Doing The Right Thing? by freeborn02: 3:15am On Aug 11, 2020 |
zed7: Oga, your reasoning is dumb. Loving your family doesn't mean you should marry your wife into your father's house. That's a sign that you are a half man, a man with zero dignity 3 Likes |
Re: My Sister Cancels Her Wedding. Is She Doing The Right Thing? by Jewel1515(f): 3:22am On Aug 11, 2020 |
Yoighaman:I believe the sister is only trying to have a peaceful home, most times living in the same house with your in-laws can cause avoidable problems. As a couple, they need their own space away from prying eyes. They need to make their own mistakes and set their own rules. The wife needs to be a madam in her own home. Please loving a mother should not bring trouble to her son's home. Good men know how to place the women in their lives in their various positions. We always advise women on how to keep a good home even before marriage. Today I am going to advise men to learn how to accord the women in his life their due respect cause that is the only way the home will be balanced. 3 Likes |
Re: My Sister Cancels Her Wedding. Is She Doing The Right Thing? by oshaosha2014(m): 3:29am On Aug 11, 2020 |
Words are different from life experiences. REDBUNNY: |
Re: My Sister Cancels Her Wedding. Is She Doing The Right Thing? by FunnyDude(m): 3:34am On Aug 11, 2020 |
Ishilove: Seriously |
Re: My Sister Cancels Her Wedding. Is She Doing The Right Thing? by oshaosha2014(m): 3:37am On Aug 11, 2020 |
But the Bible did not say that you’ll go to hell if you stay with your parents while married. The Bible is a guide not an enforcement. Wigetsolar: |
Re: My Sister Cancels Her Wedding. Is She Doing The Right Thing? by favour32(m): 3:40am On Aug 11, 2020 |
Two of dem nor know wetin dem want. If no cooperation @ this early stage, nai be say, if dem marry na disaster awaiting. Marriage nor be theorical, if both operate for the same emotional frequency and be in harmony,this matter na small matter wey nor hard to resolve. But many dey deceive themselves. Get a mate wey both naturally like each other,where una go stay no go be problem especially wey one dey financially stable. Na ladies na dey desperate pass these days.Dem go pretend say dem like a man but you nor want cooperate with am. Everybody no go live life the same. Wetin woman like pass for this world? Control! But you dey fear another woman wey fit counteract her. Make that man move on. No hurry, you go see another woman wey ready to stay wey una want even if na ya mama house. As for the lady, continue to wait for the "right" man wey go agree to whatever you say,dem full everywhere. Nothing like two people like each wella, even if na dungeon,dem nor worry. |
Re: My Sister Cancels Her Wedding. Is She Doing The Right Thing? by Analysiscorner: 3:43am On Aug 11, 2020 |
She did the right thing. Persistent problems will be occurring once the new couple are living like her husband wants it. 1 Like |
Re: My Sister Cancels Her Wedding. Is She Doing The Right Thing? by oshaosha2014(m): 3:46am On Aug 11, 2020 |
Hahahaha.... hilarious. Oghenerobo2002: 1 Like |
Re: My Sister Cancels Her Wedding. Is She Doing The Right Thing? by Yoighaman(m): 3:48am On Aug 11, 2020 |
Jewel1515: I understand you perfectly well and both parties need to be blamed. On the guy's side, never make it obvious that your mum takes priority in your life, where that is the case, please keep it to yourself and don't rub it in your woman's face. Same goes for the woman, your mother and your husband are two different people playing two different roles in your life. For the ladies, it's appalling to hear some of them wish death on their mother-in-law (MIL). How can you wish his mother dead before getting married to him all because you don't want MIL palaver?... forgetting that someday you will become a MIL yourself. How could you also expect a man to completely relegate his mother to the back seat because of a stranger that suddenly showed up in the picture? As painful as it might be for mothers, they just must let go of their sons but this must be done with decorum from all parties. 2 Likes |
Re: My Sister Cancels Her Wedding. Is She Doing The Right Thing? by oshaosha2014(m): 4:06am On Aug 11, 2020 |
Any man getting married is actually doing the lady a favour. Because men don’t have to marry before they can get all the privileges of having a wife. A woman on the other hand is looked at in a bad light if she’s not married and hopping from man to man claiming sexual liberation up and down. Even western nations where their men have not been emasculated find such women as damaged goods and men should only use them to pass time and not commit, let alone marry. ChristieCrown: 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Sister Cancels Her Wedding. Is She Doing The Right Thing? by placeofallure(f): 4:08am On Aug 11, 2020 |
OluwaLina1: From your response, it means even if the man did build his own house, the mum would still have followed them there. Some men are like that, that's how he's wired and that's also his palaver. The problem here is your sister, is she just knowing that her man is still tied to his mum's apron string? Didn't they do some kind of dating? If she's the type that feels so strongly about this kinda arrangement, she's wrong to have waited till now before putting her feet down. If you ask me, it's not a death sentence to live with one's mother-in-law. What if she's sick and my husband is the only child she has? Tolerance is key here. I'm always proud of my mum, she raised me well. The day will never be, that I will raise my voice against my MIL or any of his relatives. My MIL is late though, but instead, I will just be civil with her, after the basics, I retire into my shell. Our paths will hardly cross to avoid or minimise any wahala. Ask your sister to reconsider. She shouldn't lose a good man just because..... 2 Likes |
Re: My Sister Cancels Her Wedding. Is She Doing The Right Thing? by oshaosha2014(m): 4:10am On Aug 11, 2020 |
In this case he’s a black knight. Mgtowmonk: |
Re: My Sister Cancels Her Wedding. Is She Doing The Right Thing? by manontree: 4:22am On Aug 11, 2020 |
I dont even understand why a man would want to live under the same roof as his mum, and in the mum's house. Abeg who does that. At 18 most people abroad are encouraged to get their own lifes. I know a man that started charging his son rent when he turned 18 and refused to leave his house This one sef is worse. You want to bring a wife into your parent's home to live, even when you are able to get your own house. What kind of discomfort do you plan for the wife How on earth would she feel at home and build her own home It is just plain disrespectful. I don't even know why this is a discussion when it is clearly an aberration. Just so unnatural and unusual. Like a priest admiring mini skirt 3 Likes |
Re: My Sister Cancels Her Wedding. Is She Doing The Right Thing? by MolarT(m): 4:33am On Aug 11, 2020 |
Nothing comes out of mother and wife leaving in the same house... I was in this very position.. had to just do trad, then get an appartmentand now am planning the wedding... This situation was most likely because I dont live in Nigeria.. and I trust my wifey to be faithful, most men will keep her with the mom. All this was a bedroom.talk between the both of us and with God we are about to achieve all... she goes almost every weekend to see my mom and siblings because its same city. This option sounds expensive but readers it's for good... I have never been called for a dispute btw my wife and my siblings and mom since this arrangement. He may one day be put in a position to choose between the mom and the wife. How ever, calling off thewedding is extreme. This is marriage, they are suppose to come to a compromise u know. Let love lead. w OluwaLina1: |
Re: My Sister Cancels Her Wedding. Is She Doing The Right Thing? by etrange: 4:37am On Aug 11, 2020 |
OluwaLina1: There's no right thing or wrong thing here. Just like looking for jobs, apartments, etc. There are things we want and can't do without and there are things we want but can do without. We'd be lucky if we see them all in one but most times, we don't. We can compromise/make sacrifices but only with the non deal breakers. Any other thing further would lead to regrets and a regretful marriage is a shortcut to death. My point is, your sister has her deal breakers. The man has his. I'm sure there are things he can't put up with himself. So if their interests are irreconcilable, they should probably not be together, at least, for now. She has proposed a few other alternatives so she isn't necessarily a terrible person. We all know her fears: the mother naturally would direct her son (all loving mothers do this even when the son is already a man) and the wife would want her home (that's every woman's dream). In the case disagreement, the man would have a hard time deciding who to listen to. This is what your sister fears and it's a very genuine concern. She knows herself, she knows her man and only she can tell what she can put up with. So if she can't put up with the woman living with them, she can amicably move on. Don't let people box you into a corner, they won't be there when you start suffering. Nairalanders would always respond emotionally but only a few of them would be OK with that if they were in her shoes. The childish ones are already shouting simp and alpha, I take it you know to ignore such. So like I said, it's not a matter of right or wrong. If at the end, they don't get married, it'll still be better than a wrecked home. And in that case, I pray each would find a more compatible partner. 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Sister Cancels Her Wedding. Is She Doing The Right Thing? by ndukwechinasa: 4:53am On Aug 11, 2020 |
jeph19:Too many factors should be put into consideration. My self i am staying with my mum and my wife. We are only two men and my elder bros is married and stays in his own apartment. I will not leave mum to just be alone cos i want to get married to someone who will possibly get another husband instanta eventually the odd happens. |
Re: My Sister Cancels Her Wedding. Is She Doing The Right Thing? by Starhearts: 5:00am On Aug 11, 2020 |
Ur sisters is a fool Wetin concern me with wetin wey no concern me self |
Re: My Sister Cancels Her Wedding. Is She Doing The Right Thing? by obowunmi(m): 5:01am On Aug 11, 2020 |
OluwaLina1: He's a poor man, what does your sister want him to do ? Steal ? |
Re: My Sister Cancels Her Wedding. Is She Doing The Right Thing? by 4lorunsho(m): 5:01am On Aug 11, 2020 |
[quote author=Abso1uteZero post=92651372]Husband no easy to find o. She should weigh her options carefully. [/quote I hate this statement.... Is it now compulsory to marry?] |
Re: My Sister Cancels Her Wedding. Is She Doing The Right Thing? by 4lorunsho(m): 5:04am On Aug 11, 2020 |
PapaNnamdi: I don't agree with what you're saying... Must he stay with his mother after marriage...... There should be breathing space na. He has started his life and the mother own is to support. Maybe once in 3 month she should go and say hello. 2 Likes |
Re: My Sister Cancels Her Wedding. Is She Doing The Right Thing? by Nobody: 5:09am On Aug 11, 2020 |
dis topic intresting shaa 1 Like |
Re: My Sister Cancels Her Wedding. Is She Doing The Right Thing? by DeRoyalhouse: 5:09am On Aug 11, 2020 |
cicodeblazzer: Easier said than done. The mother - in-law is a single mother its won't be easy at all. |
Re: My Sister Cancels Her Wedding. Is She Doing The Right Thing? by DeRoyalhouse: 5:12am On Aug 11, 2020 |
From some of the comments, one will understand that an average black man thinks a woman has no choice. 2 Likes |
Re: My Sister Cancels Her Wedding. Is She Doing The Right Thing? by funshint(m): 5:23am On Aug 11, 2020 |
Your sister did very right....a mum living with a newly married couple is a disaster waiting to happen. It will always end in tears *thumbs up to your sister. "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh"...Gen 2:24 1 Like |
Re: My Sister Cancels Her Wedding. Is She Doing The Right Thing? by goodnessme02: 5:26am On Aug 11, 2020 |
Truvel: You're the bigger fool So you want the sister to be serving the husband and his mother at the same time? It will be draining A man that's not ready to leave his mother is ready for marriage 2 Likes |
Re: My Sister Cancels Her Wedding. Is She Doing The Right Thing? by RPG2020(m): 5:29am On Aug 11, 2020 |
There is nothing wrong here if the mother is a queen are they going to stay outside the palace 1 Like |
Re: My Sister Cancels Her Wedding. Is She Doing The Right Thing? by OtemAtum: 5:35am On Aug 11, 2020 |
frank417:The matter taya me sef. |
Re: My Sister Cancels Her Wedding. Is She Doing The Right Thing? by mrksquare: 5:36am On Aug 11, 2020 |
Even me that have a two bedroom flat ensuite my girlfriend isn't okay with the idea of staying in it. Her reason is that she can't stay in the same compound as that of my parents. Really do not know what women want? |
Re: My Sister Cancels Her Wedding. Is She Doing The Right Thing? by OtemAtum: 5:38am On Aug 11, 2020 |
ndukwechinasa:Are you living in your mum's house or she is living in your own house? |
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