ImaIma1:


Do you seriously believe that those comments are from men. Little boys that know nothing about life and marriage are speaking from their own small minded understanding. Don't take them seriously.

lol,on the contrary i'm quite pleased with those comments,it shows we still have real and strong men who knows their rights and wont trade it for any woman in the name of love or any other b.s.

emperorshaokahn:
lol,on the contrary i'm quite pleased with those comments,it shows we still have real and strong men who knows their rights and wont trade it for any woman in the name of love or any other b.s.

Not every man is fit to get married and it's fine. Better for a man to be single than become a nuisance to an unfortunate woman.

oshaosha2014:
Any man getting married is actually doing the lady a favour. Because men don’t have to marry before they can get all the privileges of having a wife. A woman on the other hand is looked at in a bad light if she’s not married and hopping from man to man claiming sexual liberation up and down. Even western nations where their men have not been emasculated find such women as damaged goods and men should only use them to pass time and not commit, let alone marry.

Then keep your favor to yourself. Not every woman's peak achievement is marriage.

MaziIgwe007:


She's rich and well employed to have time fighting with her MIL

Only jobless people like OP sister and you will always be there to fight ur MIL even over 1 common cup of rice

Thank you thank you my brother.
If OP's sister is a doctor, nurse ,business owner,etc,how would she have time to see who to quarrel with?
All the females and few foolish males here are already sure there will be quarrel cos they come from rowdy,loveless,dysfunctional families themselves.

Chii59:

Insults? Hehe. I stated a fact. After raising dust online, it's your type that will create a new account to report your wife to nairaland.

you IQ speaks volume


I will stop replying you now

PapaNnamdi:



you IQ speaks volume

I will stop replying you now

good decision,the girl is just too dull.

ImaIma1:



Not every man is fit to get married and it's fine. Better for a man to be single than become a nuisance to an unfortunate woman.

same thing applies to women too.

.........

emperorshaokahn:
same thing applies to women too.

Exactly.

But you were talking about men and how some of them believe they are God's gift to a woman.

God that created both sexes and marriage is not foolish.

It takes a mature man to get that understanding about marriage. One that doesn't, shouldn't bother getting married because that marriage will be troubled because of his myopic mindset.

truthsayer009:


Believe people at your own peril. When something defies common sense logic, you should know they are lying. It's like someone saying my mother owns a big restaurant but I have not eaten in 3 days.

How are you financially okay & you cannot rent a place? He is not only broke but poor.

Shebi OP said d man said it's for the time being.
If the man's family house is a 6 bedroom duplex or bungalow,all the siblings married and living on their own,just the mum alone in d house,why would the man be in a hurry to go live in a rent a house and start hearing strange things like "we lock the gate by 10pm,after that sleep wherever you are,landlord said no parking of cars here bla bla"?

Talking about “peak achievement,” you need to know that getting married is a totally different ball game from your aspirations, career and achievement. As a woman, your career is one area of your life, your marriage is another area. When we are talking about marriage please keep your career in your pocket. Because you can be the president of a country as a woman and no man still finds you marriageable.

If getting married is what you want to delve into in the future take it serious like you take you career or whatever serious. You all just go to school acquiring degrees more than a thermometer thinking that is the only thing that qualifies you for marriage.

Most men don’t care about how many degrees you have or if you head an organization. If they can’t see feminine qualities they are gone. You certificates and qualifications don’t hold those men down.

So, separate marriage from whatever you want to be in life.

[quote author=ChristieCrown post=92698903][/quote]

ImaIma1:


For her to cancel the marriage plans, it's obvious she is not the one pushing to get married and at any cost.

I understand men have soft spots for their mothers. My husband and his mum talk everyday and I see nothing wrong in it. But he knows where to draw the line in such a way that both me and his mum know we are important to him. But some men try to exhault their mothers over their wives, always reminding the wife that the mother brought him up as if she doesn't have a mother.

But in the true sense, who should sweat and bring up a child? The nanny or village head? Off course it's the parents.

Funny enough, women even seem to have that soft spot more for their mothers but they don't allow it affect other relationships or Lord it over their husbands. I have noticed that women visit their mums more.

They are the ones that will come and sit down and gist and help around. The man might just send money. Both have their ways of showing love. But why is it that most men always want to make that love for their mothers a problem in their marriage?

I believe a wise man will know how to balance both

Most of you women just have are just plain wicked and with negative mindsets.
Yes,before you get 2 men who have a preference for their mothers, there are 20 men who take very good care of their wives and children while mama is suffering in the village.
Meanwhile na mama pay school fees,train,nurture etc till bobo became what he is.

emperorshaokahn:
but you women can park all your family members to the(his)house abi?.men are doing women a hell lot of favour by marrying them these days.and i think we(men) should start reviewing that favour.

What part of the OP's post stated that she intention to bring her family? Even if you're doing them a favour by marrying them( trust me you're NOT!), should the favour be laced with inconvenience Carry your favour comot oga, I no need am. Better to be single than to be in a miserable marriage biko.

ImaIma1:


Do you seriously believe that those comments are from men. Little boys that know nothing about life and marriage are speaking from their own small minded understanding. Don't take them seriously.

?

True jare. I've forgotten this corona has rendered most students idle. Oya boys, leave this thread and go and read your books!!!

ogbuefi677:

But it was clearly stated that d living together was going to be for a while and not forever.
If your prospective DIL rejects d idea of staying with you even for one day,hope you'll be ok with that and it will never change your perception of her.
And for the girl to wave the threat of canceling the wedding, she doesn't love that guy one bit.

I know of someone who got married in November 2015 and they moved into family house with the belief that they will move to their own place within 6 months. It's almost 5 years now and they're still there. The op said that man doesn't want to leave his mother meaning they'll have to live with her indefinitely.

Women are getting wiser and are now seeing through the temporary family house living arrangement scam. Most times, it turns into a prolonged stay with the in-laws making the wife uncomfortable and the husband looking the other way or supporting them. Newlyweds should spend the onset of their marriage in their own personal space adjusting to the new changes in their lives not camping with husband's family.

ogbuefi677:

Most of you women just have are just plain wicked and with negative mindsets.
Yes,before you get 2 men who have a preference for their mothers, there are 20 men who take very good care of their wives and children while mama is suffering in the village.
Meanwhile na mama pay school fees,train,nurture etc till bobo became what he is.

If we want to really go into that. Is it the mum that paid the fees in most cases? Nope. It's the dad.

And please what wickedness and negative mindset are you referring to? Not wanting to get married and go and live with husband and mother in mother's house?

Doesn't the wife have a mother she wants to cling to that "paid her fees and trained her". Please reason this matter like a man not a boy

did ur sister rent a house with her money n d man refused to stay in the house a man is planning his building n u want him to go rent house n do wedding... if she isn't ready to marry him let her leave...

ImaIma1:


Exactly.

But you were talking about men and how some of them believe they are God's gift to a woman.

God that created both sexes and marriage is not foolish.

It takes a mature man to get that understanding about marriage. One that doesn't, shouldn't bother getting married because that marriage will be troubled because of his myopic mindset.

you type like a very educated and smart woman,so i will just ignore(wont type) what is on my mind,btw are you a feminist?.

ImaIma1:


If we want to really go into that. Is it the mum that paid the fees in most cases? Nope. It's the dad.

And please what wickedness and negative mindset are you referring to? Not wanting to get married and go and live with husband and mother in mother's house?

Doesn't the wife have a mother she wants to cling to that "paid her fees and trained her". Please reason this matter like a man not a boy

but wait o,what happened to girl power,what a man can do a woman can do better?,and all those other b.s you women like to tell yourselfs.cant the woman rent a house or even contribute a substantial sum for a house?,would the heaven's fall of she does that?,oh she does not have such money?but she expects her struggling husband to?.why do you women think marrage or any romantic relationship is a favour to the man?,when the reverse is actually the case,why dont you women like investing in your own marrage?.

emperorshaokahn:
lol,on the contrary i'm quite pleased with those comments,it shows we still have real and strong men who knows their rights and wont trade it for any woman in the name of love or any other b.s.

The OP has never mentioned the ability of the sister to contribute financially or otherwise cos most females in Nigeria consider the female gender as a disability.Cos I'm sure if the sister had a job he would've been boasting of how the sister is willing to contribute to pay house rent or outrightly wanting to pay alone.
The apparently jobless girl is already giving terms and conditions and is already sure she will quarrel with her mother in law.
Good thing most Nigerian men have woken up from female manipulations.

emperorshaokahn:
but wait o,what happened to girl power,what a man can do a woman can do better?,and all those other b.s you women like to tell yourselfs.cant the woman rent a house or even contribute a substantial sum for a house?,would the heaven's fall of she does that?,oh she does not have such money?but she expects her struggling husband to?.why do you women think marrage or any romantic relationship is a favour to the man?,when the reverse is actually the case,why dont you women like investing in your own marrage?.

If you were reading to understand rather than to attack, you would have seen that the boy (we can't call him a man) doesn't want to leave his mother.

Chii59:

Do you know if the lady is willing and able to support him financially to get their own space? If some ladies can secretly pay part of their bride price, what is getting a house they can't contribute to?

4rm D Topic, D Lady Is Not Willing 2 Support Him Financially Otherwise She Wouldn't Av Turned Down D Marriage Proposal. As 4 D Bride Price It's Hard 2 See Ladies Contribute Secretly 2 Dia Bride Price. If At All Dey Exist Dey Won't Be More Dan 3% Of Ladies. Cuz, Naija Ladies Barely Do So.

emperorshaokahn:
you type like a very educated and smart woman,so i will just ignore(wont type) what is on my mind,btw are you a feminist?.

I am a realistic human being who believes in living my life with consideration for others.

ogbuefi677:

The OP has never mentioned the ability of the sister to contribute financially or otherwise cos most females in Nigeria consider the female gender as a disability.Cos I'm sure if the sister had a job he would've been boasting of how the sister is willing to contribute to pay house rent or outrightly wanting to pay alone.
The apparently jobless girl is already giving terms and conditions and is already sure she will quarrel with her mother in law.
Good thing most Nigerian men have woken up from female manipulations.

i'm so pleased with that(the waking up part),most of these women should be gradually phased out of their hoeing work.

ImaIma1:


I am a realistic human being who believes in living my life with consideration for others.

good for you then.

ImaIma1:


If you were reading to understand rather than to attack, you would have seen that the boy (we can't call him a man) doesn't want to leave his mother.

you did not answer any of my questions.

emperorshaokahn:
you did not answer any of my questions.

Did the op say anything about his sister not willing to contribute or not.

Have you been privy to the expenses of different marriages to know of the woman contributes or not. Even my sister would tell me sometimes that they are both contributing for rent coming up.

Forget what you read on SM, the real world is the real world. Even all these guys shouting "simp" don't deceive me. Talk is cheap.

emperorshaokahn:
but wait o,what happened to girl power,what a man can do a woman can do better?,and all those other b.s you women like to tell yourselfs.cant the woman rent a house or even contribute a substantial sum for a house?,would the heaven's fall of she does that?,oh she does not have such money?but she expects her struggling husband to?.why do you women think marrage or any romantic relationship is a favour to the man?,when the reverse is actually the case,why dont you women like investing in your own marrage?.

Thank you thank you.
The sister has a vagina and yet to be proven fruitful womb.
That is enough for all Nigerian females.
When they work or contribute,they have done something extraordinary, that's why any family the wife is the major provider,there is always trouble and the whole world will soon know about the man's financial constraints.

cooooooks:
Check well, the idiot behind this moniker may be married with kids. Don't follow this crazy 'advice'.

Hahaha any day u hear I'm getting married just know I've either being hypnotized or it's my lookalike

Marriage doesn't favor men it's just a lifeline for old hags who spent their time banging their youth away

And why marry one vagina person when a lot of vagina people are out there

And by the way to hell Vagina people

ImaIma1:


Did the op say anything about his sister not willing to contribute or not.

Have you been privy to the expenses of different marriages to know of the woman contributes or not. Even my sister would tell me sometimes that they are both contributing for rent coming up.

Forget what you read on SM, the real world is the real world. Even all these guys shouting "simp" don't deceive me. Talk is cheap.

actually the social media is the only place women pretend to be equal or want to be equal with men,if they can replecate these social media equality charade in the non virtual world(real life).then things would get better for them,btw i have not seen a nigerian women pay her bride price na only for nairaland and fb i day hear am.you as a woman is not entitled to anything extra ordinary from a man just because he claims to love you.

Timbers:
Hahaha any day u hear I'm getting married just know I've either being hypnotized or it's my lookalike

Marriage doesn't favor men it's just a lifeline for old hags who spent their time banging their youth away

And why marry one vagina person when a lot of vagina people are out there

And by the way to hell Vagina people

lol,guy you day vex o,e bi like say them don do you strong thing?.na their entitlement mentality day vex me pass.

emperorshaokahn:
actually the social media is the only place women pretend to be equal or want to be equal with men,if they can replecate these social media equality charade in the non virtual world(real life).then things would get better for them,btw i have not seen a nigerian women pay her bride price na only for nairaland and fb i day hear am.you as a woman is not entitled to anything extra ordinary from a man just because he claims to love you.

Is it the woman that's supposed to pay her bride price? So that you will turn around and say she was desperate.

As I said, marriage is not for everyone. It's not by force. Anyone who doesn't understand it or see the value in it should not venture into it.

OluwaLina1:
Is My Sister Doing The Right Thing? Please Your Advice Is Needed

Advice needed
Don't mind my typo errors.

My sister cancel her wedding plans all because her husband to~be insists they are going to be living with his mum after the wedding before they will build their own house.

Now,my sister said she won't go on with the wedding plans if he didn't rent an appartment, even if it's face-me-i-slap-you room,she will be okay with it,she won't even mind if the mother come to spend days with them.

Is my sister doing the right thing?

Well, I believe she is.

Is that how the boy's mother, live with her mother in Law? Once they start living with the mum, trust me, they will not move out.

Your sister husband is a boy. Not a man